Chapter 4
XAN
Fuck whoever is using up all the hot water right now. How am I supposed to jerk off in a cold shower? Hex and Braxton’s solution, when they’ve been tempted by Jay, is to keep everything pent up. They shower cold or exercise, but that won’t cut it for me. I need release.
With a giver in each hand, I pump harder and faster and think about Jay bent over my lap. Then him spread out before me and Braxton, face down, with his spanked, reddened ass in the air.
My mind won’t produce human words that are any more vulgar to describe my stubborn little human, but when I picture the things I want to do to him, my thoughts turn less respectful.
There are no words in a human language for what my crewmates and I do to him.
And, honestly, it would be anatomically impossible, unless he was a hybrid.
But as a human, I suppose we could do something similar with him. My purple givers could have their way with his human hole while Braxton’s blues claim his mouth, and Hex waits for one of us to blow. Maybe he could suck Jay’s pinkish human anatomy before his turn.
Thinking about our little one taking all of us turns me on so much I get close quick, and then I bust, and the life seed keeps flowing and flowing out of me.
It’s so thick and abundant, there’s enough of it to fill more than a few humans, and Jay could never really swallow it all like I wish he could.
“Fucking Earthlings!” I growl as the shower water turns ice cold.
I let it wash all my come down the drain before I stomp out and grab a towel.
Maybe I should have exercised instead of jerking off, because it didn’t leave me feeling much better and now I want to hit something—like a punching bag—while I’m picturing a human face.
I’m so sick of humanity and the control the Earthlings have over my life, and Jay’s. But, it’s hard to argue that we should keep a perfect human specimen all to ourselves, and change him in the process.
Outwardly, he is handsome and lithe. Inward, he is good and brave, fearing nothing but the web room. It would be a crime against humanity to take such a rare and suitable mate and claim him as our own. The humans need more like him to thrive among their kind.
At the present, their race is but a shell of ours, consumed by selfishness, greed, and a fear of the unknown.
I don’t want to send Jay back into their society, but we NVs are taught to think beyond ourselves and tune out the voice of our hearts.
Mine whispers You should fight harder for him and I ignore it as I leave my quarters to search for my little one, going up and down hallways that thrum with untapped energy.
That energy will burn out the next time we travel, but it will automatically replenish itself if the ship remains stationary for about twenty minutes.
Giver bodies have similar mechanics. We are full of untapped energy that returns to us with a little rest after extreme exertion.
We are not a species that requires eight hours of sleep, or much “downtime” in between a vigorous activity, like sex.
That’s why jerking off in the shower doesn’t stop me from being ready to go, feeling so horny already again, when I find Jay with his coveralls pulled down past his waist, exposing his rosy ass.
“What in the stars?” I blurt out, and he jumps away from the medicine locker I caught him rummaging through.
“Sorry, I thought you were on the other side of the ship,” Jay begins, as he—to my utmost regret—pulls up his coveralls. “I didn’t mean to flash you.”
“But you did mean to use some of our meager supplies without asking if you could?” I put on a stone face as I stare down at him, trying to forget what I just saw so I can stop my givers from swelling.
His beautifully proportioned backside is even more tempting than I imagined it would be.
Though I was always aware, since Jay had lived outside of polluted human cities and away from their processed foods, that it would probably be smooth and flawless.
I just didn’t expect it to get my heart racing from one glance.
“I didn’t realize they were ‘meager’ supplies,” Jay claims.
“Allow me to inform you of our situation, then. It has been three years since we’ve received a restock shipment. So we may not have the supplies to spare for…whatever you’ve done to yourself, unless the injury is severe.”
“I didn’t do this to myself,” he says, gesturing at his now—unfortunately—covered backside.
“But it’s cool to know you wouldn’t feel like helping me if I did, just because you love being a hard-ass.
And—you know what? I don’t think you picked the right profession, ‘cause doctors shouldn’t make people feel bad for needing help. ”
“Do not get lippy like that when we’re alone, Jaxus,” I growl. “You know what it does to me.” Because my aura won’t let me hide it.
He stifles a smirk by biting his lower lip, and goes back to digging through the ship’s supply of healing ointments. “Maybe you should go, if you can’t trust yourself to be alone with me.”
“If I go, you might open the wrong thing, and let something we need go to waste,” I grumble as he checks the labels, as if that will do him any good.
None of them are printed in English, or in any of the other human languages he knows.
“Step aside and let me help,” I add, dryly, “like a doctor should.”
“Thank you,” he says, stepping away from the locker. “I just need something that will make it hurt less, but if you have something that will make it heal sooner, that would be cool too.”
“I have just the thing.” I grab the tiny glass vial of instant-healing ointment and place it in the breast pocket of my lab coat. “But you’re not getting it until you tell me who did that to you so I can deal with them.”
He takes a defensive posture, with his chin up and arms crossed over his chest. “It’s nothing to worry about. You’ve all been threatening me with physical punishments, and Hex finally gave me one. That’s all. You should be thrilled.”
“Despite what I’ve said in the heat of the moment, seeing you in pain doesn’t thrill me,” I argue, and Jay bristles, like he’s irritated by me not being a hard-ass.
“I don’t want you to get the wrong idea. It wasn’t… It hurt but I liked it.”
“Being spanked?”
“Being dominated like that,” he explains, and I swallow. “It was hot.”
“We shouldn’t speak about such things, little one. And Hex shouldn’t have spanked you. Since we’ve decided you’re old enough to return to Earth, it isn’t appropriate for him—”
“To treat me like a nestling?” Jay lets out a snort. “And yet, you all do it. How can you say I’m mature enough to go live alone, in that place, if you won’t treat me like I’m mature enough to make my own decisions?”
“I hope Earth won’t be too strange for you, Jay, but even if it feels that way at first, I’m sure it won’t be long before you feel at home there, because it is your home.”
“Not the home I’m choosing.”
“And you know why we can’t let you make another choice.”
“But that’s not the only choice you won’t let me make,” he argues. “You won’t let me lose my virginity to someone I’d actually want to lose it to either. You expect me to fuck a human, and I don’t want a human. Humans suck.”
Damn the stars. If he keeps passionately talking like this, and making me feel passionate too, my aura is going to make an appearance and show how much I agree with him.
I’m usually a pro at staying cold and detached so it doesn’t cause me problems, but it’s getting harder and harder for me to stay cold and detached these days, with Jay’s permanent leave from the ship approaching.
“You know why we can’t give you what you want, and it’s not because we’re treating you like a nestling.
We can’t do it because it would change you. ”
“Oh, bollocks!” He bangs a fist against the locker, which almost makes me jump. “You’re lying. You know me and you fucking right now wouldn’t make me become a hybrid. Hex told me we’d have to do it two times, at least.”
Thanks a lot, Hex, you big red bastard. What am I supposed to say now? Can I say anything that will make this better, or will it just piss him off more?
At times like this, I wish humans had auras too. One good thing about them is being able to tell if a crew member is ready to hear an apology after you fuck up, or if they need the space to calm down and become open to hearing one later.
“I’m sorry we weren’t honest with you. Did Hex tell you why?
” Jay shakes his head, looking so wounded by our deceit, and what I’m about to tell him isn’t going to make him feel any better.
“I won’t lie to you now. It was a selfish decision on our part.
We thought it would build too much resentment among us if one of us fully joined with you, while the others couldn’t.
And we can’t all fully have you without three joinings. ”
“So you just think of me like some toy then,” he says softly. “You don’t all get a turn with it, so no one gets to play?”
“No—that—no,” I say firmly. “We never involved you in any of this because we didn’t want you to feel like some toy we were fighting over. We love you. And we loathe dishonesty, but we were willing to go against our moral code to protect you from getting hurt.”
“Well, I’m not feeling protected right now, or loved.”
“What can I do to make it up to you?” I close the space between us and slowly, carefully rest my hands on his thick arms. The sparks I feel when our skin makes contact let me know how unwise touching him was, but once that line is crossed, there’s no going back.
I don’t have the strength to pull away. “I can’t let you leave this ship feeling unloved. ”
“Then there’s just one thing I need you to do, Xan.”
Another swallow. “What, Jay?”
“I need you to fuck me.”