Chapter Twenty-Two
Mia
I ’m half-awake when I turn on my other side and brush my hand over Jake’s side of the bed, thinking I’d touch hard muscle. Instead, my hand is met with soft, cool, sheets. He isn’t here beside me. He hasn’t been for a while.
I slowly open my eyes. A part of me wants to fall back asleep. To still think he’s here. As though what we shared mattered to him just as much as it did to me.
I close my eyes, only to be met with the memories of his mouth on every part of me. The pleasure he’d given is something I don’t think I’ll ever forget. His hands cupping my breasts as he sucked and teased my nipples. His talented tongue caressing my clit and sending me over the edge so many times. His deep, powerful thrusts were like nothing I’ve ever experienced before. Just the thought of last night has me thinking I could go over the edge and into oblivion once again. The familiar ache from my girl parts comes back to life. I don’t think I could ever get enough of him. He was a taste of forbidden fruit while I was his goddess.
We didn’t use protection.
With the memories of such pleasure come reminders of reality. Crap, I forgot to grab a condom. Good thing my period ended yesterday.
I gave myself over to a man who was only temporary. He’s living with me because he has to, not because he wants to. A heated moment and nothing more.
Sex with Jake was nice while it lasted, and now it’s time to move on.
Slowly moving out of bed, I search all around the floor for some semblance of my clothes. How difficult can it be to find my underwear, let alone the rest of my clothes? A bra here, pants there, and who the hell knows where my panties went?
After long minutes of searching, I manage to find and don yesterday’s clothes.
I’m about to walk out of the room, when I see a piece of paper taped to the door. There’s writing on it.
Morning, baby girl.
I’m sorry I couldn’t be here to see you wake up. Jonathan called and asked me to pick him and Kiera up from the airport. I’ll explain everything when I get back.
I’ll be home soon,
Jake
The more I reread the note, the more my heart swells. The more memories come to the surface. He said he loved me. Maybe last night wasn’t just about sex.
Wait. Why is Jonathan at the airport?
They’re not supposed to be home yet. If Jonathan is coming home early, what does that mean about his and Jake’s “arrangement”? Does this mean Jake won’t be living with me anymore? I should be happy to soon be a free woman earlier than expected. But why do I feel overwhelming dread?
I quickly walk down the hall and into my bedroom, shutting the door behind me. I can’t borrow trouble. At least not yet. Not until I’ve talked to Jake.
After I shower, wash my face, and brush my teeth, I begin to feel more awake. Once I’m fully dressed into a clean, blue pajama top and sweats, I walk into the empty kitchen.
He said he’d come back.
I continue to self-soothe. God, I need to get a grip. I’m a strong independent woman, not a desperate damsel. But all I can think about is what happens now. Was this a fling and nothing more? The thought makes me sick to my stomach.
My first instinct is to run away. Run and hide. Bury myself under a figurative rock. But at the same time, my feelings for him are something just as powerful. Something that I know will never go away, even if I choose to run.
I need to gather the facts before I decide on a plan of action. Figure out where his head is. Once I know, I can prepare myself from there.
I grab my mug from the cabinet and watch absentmindedly as it fills with French vanilla coffee. After the pink mug is filled I dress it with cream and sugar. I then rest on the couch, scrolling through my phone. For now, I can keep my mind off the possible and terrible scenarios of how today might go.
A few minutes of sipping coffee and scrolling through video after video on my phone goes by when I hear the door unlock and open. I quickly turn my head, anticipating seeing his face. We lock eyes on each other.
What do I do?
I sit there frozen in place as I try to find my voice. “M-morning.”
“Morning,” he speaks softly before clearing his throat and speaking more clearly. “Did you see my note?”
I nod. “I did. Why were they at the airport?”
“Kiera got sick a little while back, so they decided to cut the vacation short.” I realize he’s holding a box of donuts as he walks into kitchen and places them on the counter.
“Is she okay?”
“Now that she’s home, I’m sure she’s happy to be in her own bed.”
“If I were her, I’d probably feel the same way.” I follow him into the kitchen. “You got food.”
“I figured we could have some eggs and bacon with the donuts.”
If he got breakfast, maybe last night did somewhat matter to him. “You don’t have to do that.”
“I want to,” he replies, walks over to me, and caresses my check.
I lean into his warm touch. “Can I help?”
“No need. But you can set the table if you’d like.”
I smile before grabbing plates, place mats, napkins, and silverware. Arranging the table only takes a few seconds before I’m left just staring at him as he cooks the eggs and bacon on the stove.
“I didn’t know we had a donut place nearby.” I lean against the island as I watch him multitask between the two pans.
“I thought the same thing until I noticed one on my way back.”
“Good to know.” I give my best fake smile. Now that he’s here, my questions become loud in my head.
I dread having to ask him. Will this be like ripping a bandage off, hurting for only a moment? Or will it be like getting hit by a truck?
“Can I make you coffee?” I dart to the coffee maker on the other side of the kitchen. Anything to stop my mind from scaring me.
“Yeah, thanks,” he replies.
I let out a silent sigh of relief. “How do you drink it?”
“Black.” He flips over the pieces of bacon.
A few minutes later, our plates are filled with food and we sit at the table.
“This looks delicious,” I compliment him.
“Only the best for you, baby girl.”
A shiver of pleasure runs down my spine hearing him say my nickname. How can a man make me feel scared, horny, and desirable all at once?
I grab my fork, digging into the scrambled eggs that are seasoned well with salt, pepper, and a hint of what looks like salsa.
I moan from just the first bite. “How did you?—”
“I’ve found that adding a splash or two of medium salsa to eggs gives them a bit of a kick.”
“Without the flavor being too overwhelming, right?”
“Exactly.” He winks at me.
We eat the rest of our food in silence. The longer it lasts, the harder it is for me to ignore. Even the sweet taste of my favorite donuts I so adore can’t make me feel better. The silence is uncomfortable.
I’m pulled from my thoughts when Jake’s voice breaks the silence. “Are you finished?”
I nod before he sets my utensils and napkin on the plate and puts the dishes in the sink.
There’s nowhere to hide anymore. I have to talk to him. This is it.
I take a deep breath. “Now that my brother is back, what happens?”
He turns to face me. “What do you mean?”
“You don’t have to be my brother’s keeper anymore. So what happens between us now?”
He pauses as though in thought. “That depends on what you want.”
“How does it depend on what I want?” What else is there to question? “This was my brother’s plan from start to finish. This should be self-explanatory.”
He hesitates. “Under normal circumstances, yes. But there’s more to it.”
“What are you talking about?”
After cleaning off the dishes and setting them in the dishwasher, Jake sits down next to me again. He takes my hand in his. “I haven’t been completely honest with you.”
I stay silent, as though waiting for a bomb to go off.
“I’m in love with you. And I have been for a long time.”
So when he said he loved me midorgasm, he meant it?
I gasp. “Y-you have?”
“Yes. That’s why I say it’s up to you. I don’t intend on leaving unless you tell me you don’t feel the same.”
I’m about to say something, but Jake continues. “Before you say anything though, I need to come clean with you about something else.”
I squeeze my hand. I study his anxiety-filled expression. He must be scared about how I’ll react. “I understand.”
He sighs deeply. “On New Year’s, I said Jonathan told me to move into your apartment to keep an eye on you. That was a lie. I just said that to convince you it was his idea and not mine.”
Is he saying what I think he’s saying? “You mean…my brother never told you to move in?”
“He was never involved.”
“So… So…” I can’t find my words. Not only did he move in with me for god-knows-what reason, he also lied to me about my brother’s involvement. “But why?”
“Why did you think I kissed you on New Year’s?”
His words make me put two and two together. He’s in love with me and he moved in with me because…he’s in love with me.
“You did all of this…for me?”
“And I’d do it all over again if it meant I’ve won your heart.” He pulls his hand away from mine. Immediately, I miss his touch. I start to open my mouth in reply when he hands me my phone. “If you don’t believe me, call your brother. He’ll confirm everything I’m telling you.”
If he’s been lying to both me and Jonathan, wouldn’t me calling my brother risk his friendship with him? “What about my brother? If I told him, you could lose everything.”
“Call him,” he assures me.
Opening my phone, I scroll through my contacts until I find my brother’s number.
I look back up at Jake for confirmation. He can’t be serious. Does he know what he stands to lose? My brother will want to feed him his balls when I tell him this.
He gives me a firm nod.
Okay, his funeral.
I click on his number and lift the phone to my ear. It rings once…twice… Then it stops before the third.
“Hey, Mia.”
“Jon. I just heard you’re back home.”
“Yeah, Kiera hasn’t been doing very well.”
“I heard that, too. Bed rest and saltine crackers should take the edge off.”
“Good to know. How have things been?”
“They’ve been good. Nothing crazy.” I pause. “Listen, there’s something I want to ask you.”
“Sure thing.”
“Before you left for vacation, did you tell Jake to do something for you?”
“Other than take care of everything with KH, not particularly no. Why?”
“So you didn’t tell him to move into my apartment to keep an eye on me.”
“Why on earth would I do that?”
I stare at Jake with wide eyes. He only responds with another nod.
“Is-is he living with you? Did he tell you I told him to do that?” I can hear his anger and confusion.
“Until now. You’re sure this wasn’t your idea?”
“Mia, I know in the past I’ve been a bit overprotective, but I’d never tell my best friend to do something like that for me.”
“So he hasn’t told you anything?”
“He told me he was in love with you when he picked us up at the airport this morning, but that was it.” Jonathan sounds bewildered. “W-what the hell has been going on since I’ve been gone?”
Despite Jonathan’s panic, I find myself distracted by Jake’s eyes locked onto me. And I can’t seem to stop myself from doing the same.
I turn my attention to Jonathan’s voice on the phone. “I’ll call you back later.”
My mind flashes back to weeks prior: Jonathan’s sudden decision to go on vacation and my New Year’s kiss with Jake. Everything that’s happened since the holidays now all makes sense.
I hang up the phone with zero hesitation.
“If you don’t want me,” Jake says. “if your heart is with someone else, I’ll understand.”
“Someone else?” I speak softly. I don’t know whether to feel shocked, deceived, or flattered. My emotions are all over the place.
“Your boyfriend, Vance.”
I’ve just now entered a whole other level of mind blown. Crap, I forgot about Vance. About the fact I told Jake we were seeing each other when that was a complete lie.
Whether out of realization of the irony, or something else entirely, I start laughing.
He awkwardly laughs with me. “What are we laughing about?”
He must think I’ve gone crazy. I take a deep breath before I respond. “I’m sorry. I should have told you earlier.”
“Told me what?”
“Vance was never my boyfriend. I just said that to make you jealous.”
“ You were trying to make me jealous?” He starts laughing again.
“After you met Vance at the club, he became convinced you were into me. I disagreed with him. So to prove his theory, he posed as my boyfriend to see how you’d react.” I shake my head in disbelief. “He’ll be happy to know he was right.”
He chuckles. “Baby girl, you didn’t have to make me jealous. I’ve been crazy about you for a long time.”
He pulls me into his lap. He wraps him arms around my waist as I do the same around his neck.
“You have?”
“Yes. Since you were seventeen.”
I freeze. For that long? That would mean he wanted me as much as I wanted him all those years ago. How could I not have known?
Because I didn’t believe it to be possible.
I blush. “I was crazy about you then, too.” I pause. “If you wanted me then, why did you say I was just a kid sister to you at my birthday party?”
He sighs deeply. “Your brother, at the time, had made it very clear to our friend group you weren’t to be pursued. You were young. And it was known that some of our friends would’ve been more than happy to take liberties with you once you became a legal adult. I knew that if I made them think you weren’t significant, they’d leave you alone. I never meant to hurt you.”
“You were protecting me?”
He nods. “When you came home from college, things changed. You were an adult. I didn’t see a point in pretending anymore. And seeing you for the first time in years made me want you all to myself even more.”
“Even when I was gone? Even when you surrounded yourself with other women?” How can I know they were there for nothing more than filling an empty hole?
“They never mattered to me. Every time I was with someone else, I’d imagine you. My heart has always belonged to you.”
And I foolishly pushed him away.
Since the minute I came home from school, all I’ve done is avoided him, pretended he didn’t exist, and wished I didn’t feel what I was feeling when I was with him. I tried everything to destroy the pedestal I’d made for him in my heart. I thought I’d made my peace with the past, knowing he didn’t feel the same as I did. But in reality, I now know I was lying to myself. Even when we were oceans apart, I found myself wishing he were the London boys that I was with. I don’t want to do any of that anymore. I don’t want to pretend I could be happy with someone else. And I don’t want to pretend I don’t love him when really I do.
I shift myself to straddle him. His dick is hard against me as I deeply kiss his mouth. “You don’t have to imagine anymore.”