24. Devlin
24
DEVLIN
T wice now we’ve kissed, and twice now we haven’t talked about it. I’m not sure I like the way this is going. But for now, it is what it is.
Rebecca decided to stay with my grandmother. She said that she’d return to the house on her own. Blair questioned what would happen if she got lost, and her nana reminded her that she’s a ghost and the Thornroses would love it if she did get lost.
Blair agreed. She also told her grandmother that she would give the invisibility potion to the family for their use.
Rebecca scowled at that.
All of that’s to say it’s only the two of us in the car as we head back to Castleview. Neither of us has said one word.
I’ve never been one to be intimidated by silence, but it’s beginning to weigh on me. “Blair, I?—”
“I don’t want to talk about it, Devlin.”
I give her a side glance. She’s staring to the right, watching the sprawling meadows as we drive past them. All her body language screams, Leave me alone.
I’m not interested in that. “You don’t even know what I was going to say.”
“It sounded heavy, whatever it was.”
“It wasn’t heavy. Look, the more we’re around each other?—”
“I said that I don’t want to talk about it.” She glances over, her dark eyes burning with annoyance. The wind whips stray hairs from her braid, and she presses them down, only to have them fly around her head like a halo once she moves her hand. “You’re not the man I need.”
It feels like I’ve been punched, slapped and kicked in the balls all at once. Kids, do not try this at home.
I don’t know which hurts more—the fact that she’s right, or the fact that she said it.
But she is correct, and I’m not fit to be with anyone. I’m not. Never have been. Never will be. I’ll die a sad, lonely man. I accepted that a long time ago.
“You’re right,” I murmur. “I’m not who you need.”
She blinks. “You agree?”
“Why not? If we were meant to be together, we would be.”
Her expression falls and she quickly turns her face away. “Exactly.”
“Right.”
“And now you have what you needed me for—the vision. So you can make your invention and move on with your life.”
This conversation just went from bad to worse. I’d forgotten about that. But she’s not wrong. I now have what I originally asked for, so there’s nothing keeping us together.
“You’re not worried that I’m going to attempt to impregnate half of Castleview so that I can spread my seed throughout the land?”
She snorts with laughter. Oh wow. I’d forgotten about the snorting. Just adorable. My heart tightens like someone’s thrust their hand through my chest and is squeezing it dry.
“No, I’m not worried about that.”
“Why the change of heart?”
She shrugs. “Don’t know. I just don’t think you’re going to do it. But you do still have my power.”
“I do.”
“What does that mean?”
“Ask your nana. She’s the one in charge of this, whether it’s intentional or not. Now, I’m not saying that she used magic on us. But I’m not saying that she didn’t.”
Blair sighs and drops her arm on the top of the convertible’s door. She lowers her head and rests it in her hand. “Nana will disavow any responsibility. She’ll say that she doesn’t know how to break this.” She sits up quickly, an idea floating about in that brilliant brain of hers. “Maybe you have to influence someone, and then this curse’ll be over.”
“I’ve already influenced someone.”
“Oh, right.”
“What if it was something that would benefit humanity? Like maybe influencing the president to get rid of income tax?”
I tip my head back and laugh. “That sounds like more power than I’ve got.”
She frowns. “You’re probably right.”
An uncomfortable silence falls inside the cabin. What do you do now, Devlin?
You let her go, is what.
This beauty. I can tell myself all day long and say that I don’t have feelings for her, but it would be a lie. I should cut her off. Right here. Right now. Let the power fizzle out of me naturally.
But I don’t want to. I want her near me day in and day out. I want to hear her snorting all the time. Her snorting is my favorite.
And I want her to help me build this invention that she’s been instrumental in.
But is that what she wants? Pretty sure when she said that I’m not right for her, she meant it.
You’re not right for me, Devlin. Thing is, I’ll never be right for anyone but her, and I know that.
It’s for the best that she feels this way. But that doesn’t change the fact that my heart’s been ripped out of my chest and is bleeding on the floorboard.
“I’ll take you home,” I manage without my voice breaking from sorrow. “I’ll send over your things later. If you can wait a few minutes to get them, that is.” When she doesn’t reply, I prod her. “Blair?”
“Yeah,” she murmurs. “I don’t need all my stuff immediately.”
“And you’ll be fine with Storm. You don’t need my help anymore.”
“Yeah, I guess not. I held my own okay.”
“You held your own more than okay. You’ll be great from here on out. Just be yourself and he’ll see that you’re amazing. If he doesn’t, then he’s an idiot.”
“Right,” she says half-heartedly.
“Don’t worry. You’ll have that ring on your finger in no time. He’s looking to get married. Otherwise he wouldn’t be here. Don’t lose heart.”
“I’m not. I haven’t,” she adds quickly. She’s quiet for a moment before adding, “You’ll say goodbye to Hands for me.”
“I’m sure Hands would love it if you visited now and then. He doesn’t bond with a lot of people. You’re one of the few.”
I glance over and she’s staring out at the countryside, her face turned away. The urge to grab her hand and press it to my chest is so strong it’s like someone else has taken over my mind and all they want me to do is touch Blair. Hold her hand. Run my fingers over her knuckles, kiss the underside of her jaw.
If I don’t stop thinking this way, we’ll never get back to Castleview.
Stop it, Devlin. Just stop it. She’s made her intentions very clear. She does not want me. Period. End of story. It’s time that I let her go, and the easiest way to do that is to drop her off at home and forget that any of this happened. Pretend it was a dream.
“Can I call you if I need help with Storm?”
“Sure,” I choke out. Great. Now whenever my phone rings, I’ll be hoping that it’s Blair asking for advice. “Anytime.”
Why did I say that? I’ll never get over her if we keep in contact.
The truth is, I never got over her the first time. I’ll never be over Blair Thornrose. I will want her until the day I die because she’s not someone that I could or want to forget about. She’s the very air that I breathe, and I want to bury myself in her.
So I’m going to let her go without looking back. It’s the right thing to do.
We don’t say much else as we drive home. I keep the car just above the speed limit as I don’t want to arrive any sooner than I have to.
It’s impossible to ignore the heaviness that’s settled into both our moods, but I turn on the radio and do my best to ignore it.
By the time we reach Castleview, the mood is so weighted it’s nearly smothering. I’m not sure if it’s coming from me, her or both of us, but it can’t be gone too soon.
Her phone rings as I pull up in front of her house, and she glances down at it, frowns and kills the call. I don’t have to ask to know that it’s Storm. At least she has the decency not to answer in front of me.
I stop the car, and she slowly gets out and turns around, tapping the top of the door and exhaling a loud puff of air.
“Well, I guess this is it.”
“I guess so.”
She frowns. “You sure that there aren’t any other visions you need?”
“No. In the meantime, do yourself a favor and don’t tell anyone about it. Trust me; otherwise, people will want to use you.”
Her expression darkens as if she’s remembering something, and then she says, “Okay. Right. Thanks.”
She turns to go, but I can’t release her just yet. “Blair?”
She whips back around fast as a bullet. “Yes?”
“Thank you for everything. Really. I couldn’t have had this breakthrough without you.”
“You’re welcome.” She turns around again, stops and faces me. “Devlin?”
Why is my heart thundering against my rib cage? It’s beating so damn hard it feels like I might have a heart attack. “Yes?”
She twists her fingers together. “I was thinking. Will you need some help making the invention work?”
I break out into a smile. “Yes, I will. Hands can only do so much. Would you like to help me?”
“I would love—I mean, sure. That would be great.”
I grin. “Swing by tomorrow morning and let’s see how far we can get.”
A wide smile breaks out across her face. “Great. See you then.”
Then she enters the house and I drive off, feeling the best that I have in years.