Chapter 30
30
T he next morning Devlin makes pancakes and we eat them in bed.
“I didn’t know you could cook,” I marvel as he enters the room, boxers low on his hips, hair messy, which fills my brain with lusty thoughts.
He grins, his teeth and eyes flashing. “You can’t be a bachelor for too long and not know how to cook. Hands can’t be expected to do everything around here.”
It’s impossible not to laugh as he settles a tray over my hips and hand feeds me strawberries dipped in whipped cream. It’s delicious.
The whole morning is lazy. My mom calls to make sure that I’m okay. You know, since we left without telling anyone, and I assure her that I am with Devlin, safe.
And I am.
We’re in no rush to leave each other. It feels like I’ve been starved of him and now I’ve been served a Devlin buffet, and all I want to do is feast.
It’s after breakfast that he broaches all the subjects.
“What about Mr. Grayson?” he asks, studying my hand before rubbing his own over it.
I sit back against the pillows. I’m wearing one of his button-down shirts; it’s big and comfortable. It also smells like him. I will never take it off.
“What about him?” I tease.
He rolls his eyes. “Are you making me have this conversation twelve hours after I first brought you home?”
A smile plays on my lips. “You’re the one who brought it up.”
He rolls onto his side and drops his head onto his hand. “Okay, then I’m bringing it up. Please tell Mr. Grayson that you are taken and that he will have to move on to greener pastures.”
“Aye, aye, captain.” I push him with my toe. “See? Was that so hard?”
“That was the easiest of what we’ve got to talk about.”
“Stop. Just stop. If you’re going to bring up that vision?—”
I lightly jab his chest, and he takes my hand and kisses it. He looks at me earnestly, because this is real. It’s happening. It’s not going away, and it must be faced. “This is what we’ll have to live with—knowing that it’s coming.”
I look him dead in the eyes and say with certainty, “I’ve made my choice.” My stomach tightens, because this is terrifying, but I’m willing to face the future. I’ll be with Devlin. His strength will help me. We will help each other through this. And in my opinion, this is spilled milk, and there’s no point in focusing on it. “I hope my family’s magic…”
“What?”
I shake my head.
“Hey now.” He gets up on his knees and touches my cheeks. “Look at me.”
My gaze drifts up to meet his. “Listen, I am all in with this—you and me. And I will do everything in my power to make sure that your family keeps their magic. Everything. ”
Does that mean what I think it does? I scrunch up my nose and give him a curious look.
“And before you start asking me what I mean —Blair Thornrose, now that I’ve got you, I’m never letting you go. I have always loved you and I always will.”
My heart swells with more joy than I thought possible, and my lips tremble as I release the words that have been locked inside my heart for years. “I love you, too.”
“And here I thought that I was unlovable.”
I throw my arms around him. “Only sometimes.”
He laughs as I slip back onto the pillows.
This is it, I realize. I’ve got Devlin; he’s pledged that we have a future. It’s everything that I want.
Except for the dying, of course.
But I’m not going to think about that. Right now I just want to focus on him, on us, on giving myself what I’ve been deprived of.
“When do you think our powers will switch back?” I ask.
He pulls me onto him, and I rest my face on his chest. If I never move, I’ll be happy.
He kisses my head. He smells like a fresh river stream, and he’s warm like the best heating pad in the world.
“I don’t know. Maybe they’ll never switch back.”
I lightly pinch him and he laughs. “Now, now. Violence is never the answer. But I suppose that the spell will break soon. I imagine, soon as we tell your grandmother about us. She’ll be elated that you’ve stopped insulting me on a minute-by-minute basis.”
I nudge him. “You wounded me. I was scarred for ten years.”
“And I loved how much you pretended to hate me.”
I sit up. “You loved that?”
“Such a good actress.” He brushes hair from my eyes. “Those were my favorite days. Sometimes I’d go into the bookshop just so you could verbally assault me.”
I laugh. “You’re joking.”
He stills. “Blair, even a moment of your pretend hate is better than a lifetime without you.”
I kiss his chest and smooth the hairs that sit over his pecs. “I hated you for so long.”
“No, you didn’t. That wasn’t hate, like I said. It was pretend hate. You loved me the whole time.”
“No, I didn’t.”
He launches up, grabs me around my waist. I squeal, and he flips me onto my back. Devlin entwines his fingers in mine and stares down at me. Butterflies clog up my throat as I look at this man. He’s so beautiful. He’s not perfect. He’s damaged like me, but he’s so perfectly everything.
“I will tickle you if you don’t admit that you loved me.”
I smile. “Of course I loved you.”
“That’s better.”
He drops his mouth to my neck and nuzzles me. He stops and his head pops up. There’s sadness in his eyes. “There’s something I want you to know about my power.”
I curl a tendril of his hair around my finger. “What is it?”
“After my parents died, I went to live with my uncle. I told him about the power, but instead of helping me understand this gift, he used it against me. He tried to get me to see the future of sporting events so that he could bet on them, make money.”
Devlin sits back and I rise, pulling the comforter to my chest. “He used you.”
He nods and bends his knee, dropping his arm to rest on it. “When I couldn’t see visions, he beat me, locked me in closets.” He shakes his head. “I still can’t have a door on a closet.” He nods to his own, which is an open doorframe that leads into a room lined with shelves with racks and racks of clothes.
I touch his knee. “Your grandmother told me some of it, and I’m so sorry that it happened to you.”
“She told you?”
“I hope you’re not mad.”
He takes my hand and kisses it. “Now how could I be mad at you? You’ve just given me the best sex of my life.”
I swat him. “Is that all I’m good for?”
He shoots me a stern look. “You know that I’m joking.”
“Wait. It’s not the best sex of your life?”
“Oh, it’s the best sex. But you mean more to me than that.”
I kiss the back of his hand and let both of them fall onto the bed. I sigh. “Your power…you’ve let it control you for so long, too long.”
“There’s the pot calling the kettle black,” he jokes.
“You can see another person’s future. You could help people, Devlin. Like, a lot of people.”
He sinks back on the bed, dragging me on top of him. I’m not complaining. Lying with him has become my new favorite thing. “How do you figure?”
“What if there were things in a person’s future that they should know? What if you could help other wizards or scientists find cures for things—diseases, ways to improve society. What if you could do that?”
He shakes his head. “And what if all I found were people who wanted to lock me up and extract my power?”
“You’re rich. You’d have a security detail.”
“You’ve got a point.” He kisses the top of my head. “But enough about me.”
I sit up and stare down into his beautiful eyes. “You’re not taking this seriously.”
“It’s not that I’m not taking it seriously.” He rubs a thumb over his forehead. “It’s that you don’t know what you’re asking of me.”
“I know what I’m asking. I’m suggesting that you take control back. Your uncle stole it. You’ve reclaimed it, and you can turn around and help others. You’ve already done so much, but you can do more.”
He slaps my thigh. “I’ll think about it.”
“Will you?”
His mouth ticks up in a lopsided grin. “Only if you consider not thinking of your talent as a curse.”
I scoff. “That’s not fair.”
“Isn’t it?” He sits up and kisses me. I melt as he slides his fingers up the back of my head and I toss one leg over his hips, straddling him. He breaks off the kiss, leaving me breathless and wanting more. “Isn’t it fair? You’re the same as me. You need to stop thinking that people will judge you for it. Your friends won’t. I don’t . I never did. And if someone does judge you, then they’re the asshole. Not you.”
“It’s not that simple,” I argue.
“How is it not?” He brushes strands of hair from my eyes. “You are more than just the sum of this power. You’ve lived a long time hiding from it. Maybe it’s time you embraced it.”
“Big words coming from you.”
He laughs. “Guess who I learned them from?”
I kiss Devlin to shut him up, because I know what he’s saying—that the suggestion came from me.
I have lived a long time hiding from my magic, being ashamed of it, allowing it to rule my life. I shouldn’t let that happen anymore. I need to embrace it, and if people don’t accept me because of it, then it’s their fault.
Of course that’s easier said than done. But with Devlin beside me, I feel strong, like I can do anything.
“Do you know what I want to do?” he asks.
“What’s that?”
“Take a shower.” He splays a hand over my belly. “Soap you up and make love to you.”
I toss my head back and laugh. “I might let you. On one condition.”
“Anything. You own me, Blair Thornrose.”
“I own you, huh?” I joke.
“Oh, you do.” He nuzzles his lips down my neck and unbuttons the shirt, revealing my breasts. He sucks one nipple into his mouth and my spine shudders. He swirls his tongue over the pebbled surface and lets it fall from his lips. “How about I take you into the shower and prove how much you own me?”
Before I can answer, he sits up, cups his arms under me and pulls me to his chest, dragging me out of bed, squealing. Next thing I know, my back is against the shower wall, Devlin’s sucking on my clit and slipping two fingers inside me. He’s worshipping my body like I own him.
Even though all of this feels right, a little flutter of insecurity in the back of my mind pushes through, making me wonder how long this will last, because my future is dim. So dim that there isn’t a future at all.