Chapter 36
36
I ’m trapped in darkness. It’s a thick sludge that won’t release its hold on me.
My mind races to put pieces together. I was with Devlin after the ball. We were outside, walking back to his house. He’d just proposed. It was the best and worst night of my life, what with Storm making a scene and Nana revealing herself.
I had just walked in front of Devlin, into the road, and turned around when he said my name.
It felt like déjà vu. The halo of light around him, the expression on his face—his lips parted, his eyes brimming with concern—it was all familiar.
Then it hit me. I was in the vision, standing right in the middle of a future that we had both seen, and I think we realized it at the same time. There was a split second of recognition on his face, a frantic worry, and then he reached for me.
And here I am, trapped in darkness. Unable to get out.
Where am I? Is this heaven? Worse, is this hell?
I better not be in hell.
“Any changes?” It’s Mama.
Mama! Mama!
“No.” It’s Devlin! His deep voice is rumbling in that sexy velvety way it has. But he sounds raspy, tired. A pressure releases from my hand, and I realize that he’s been holding it. “Nothing has changed.”
What are they talking about? Why don’t they hear me? Why can’t I hear me?
Now that I think about it, I can hear more than just their voices. I hear beeps, and I feel something inflating on my arm—a blood pressure cuff. Wow. That thing’s really tight, like cut-off-your-circulation tight. Someone should adjust that.
I’m in a hospital—a human hospital. Things must be bad if they’ve brought me here instead of having a healer take a look at me. Then again, maybe a healer did look at me, doing what they could before sending me to this hospital.
“You need to go home, Devlin, get some rest,” Mama says, her voice full of concern.
I’m here, I try to say, but it’s impossible to break through. My mouth doesn’t open; the sound isn’t being created in my throat.
Oh my gods, I’m in a coma. I’ve read about this—people in comas can hear what’s being said, but they can’t respond. They’re trapped, just like me.
My heart falls. I can’t reach them. Impossible . I love Devlin. I haven’t waited ten years to be with him only to have this ripped away. I’ve got to try.
“I can’t leave,” Devlin tells her. He sounds so, so tired.
“You’ve been here for a week straight. You’ve got to go home, even if only for an hour.”
“Yes, son.” My dad, now.
I hear a chair’s feet scraping across the floor. “Please sit, Clara,” Devlin says.
“I’m okay. Has there been any progress?”
“No. And the doctors…” He chokes up. Why is he choking up? What about the doctors?
Mama sniffles. Dad exhales. Devlin swallows down a sob.
I’m here, I scream. I’m right here.
There’s a pause for several minutes as if no one wants to broach whatever topic follows the doctors.
Mama stops sniffling, lightly blows her nose and says, “How’s your head?”
Devlin sighs, I imagine he’s plowing his fingers through his hair. “It’s fine. Storm didn’t do much damage to me, and he’ll be in jail for a while once the judge hears everything.” His voice comes out shaky now. “If he hadn’t hit me, I could have stopped this. I could have saved her.”
His voice cracks and my heart is breaking.
So Storm attacked Devlin when we were outside. That’s the only thing he can mean by saying that he could have saved me. That jerk Storm was hanging around, waiting to get back at Devlin for influencing him.
This could have been avoided. The future could have been changed if it wasn’t for Storm. But then again, he was probably in this future all along.
I’m glad that he’s in jail. It’s the only good thing about this situation.
“Have you eaten?” Mama asks.
“I’m not hungry,” he says.
There’s a pause before Mama sighs. “I need to check in with Chelsea and see how things are going at the bookshop.”
“Better than last week, I hope,” Dad says.
“I don’t think so.” She sighs. “The only thing keeping us going right now is that people actually want to see books flying around on their own.”
Devlin’s voice is filled with concern. “What’s happening?”
There’s a swish of clothing—Mama sitting in the chair. “Our magic is so broken I don’t know how to fix it, even temporarily. We went through this before Addison married.”
“I didn’t act fast enough,” Devlin murmurs.
What?
“It’s not your fault, son,” Dad says. “Luckily they caught the truck driver and are putting up a magical barrier to stop any other vehicles from appearing in the middle of the road.”
Why did Devlin say that he hadn’t acted fast enough? He didn’t propose to me just to save the bookshop, did he?
No way. No. Certainly not. Devlin would never do anything like that. He proposed because he loves me and I love him. It has nothing to do with the fact that my family’s magic is obviously cracked wide open and Devlin would do anything to make me happy including marrying me before he was ready.
Right?
“The magic,” Devlin says. “How bad is it?”
I can just picture Mama rubbing her head with worry. “It’s unbelievable.”
“Why didn’t Blair tell me?”
“Because she wouldn’t want you to worry.”
“You need your rest.” It sounds like Dad claps Devlin on the shoulder. “Even if it’s just for a few hours. We’ll watch over her and let you know if anything changes.”
No, no, I don’t want Devlin to go. Maybe I can communicate with them, flutter my eyelids or move a finger—my ring finger, and show my mom that sparkling gem.
Oh wow. I must be really drugged up if I’m thinking about gemstones and not trying to wake up.
I focus on trying to move my pinkie. Is anything happening? Hello? Does anyone see my pinkie moving?
“About the bookshop”—it’s Devlin again—“maybe there’s a way that I can help.”
I can practically hear my mom shrug. “How can you do that?”
I can just see him smiling tiredly. “I’m an inventor, aren’t I?”
He gets up from the chair. Devlin touches my hand, and his skin feels so good, like I’ve been starved of human contact for my entire life until just now. I try so hard to reach for him, but I’m locked down tight—every single muscle. They’re not obeying.
I’ve got to break through this wall.
“What are you going to do?” Dad asks.
Devlin’s voice rumbles, sounding fatigued. “Give me a few hours and I’ll figure something out to help the bookshop, and I’ll go home to do it.”
“You need a break,” Dad says with sympathy.
A knock sounds from the door. “Oh good, I’m glad everyone’s here.”
It’s a very masculine voice.
“Dr. Jones,” Mama says. “Any change to my daughter’s prognosis?”
“Maybe we should talk outside,” he replies.
That can’t be good.
I hear them shuffle out, and the door softly closes. Their muffled voices float in from the hallway. The doctor’s saying something, but I can’t hear clearly enough to know what.
And then Devlin explodes. “No! We are not doing that! You will not stop feeding her!”
My heart stops.
Oh my gods, they want to stop feeding me. That’s what my family was saying earlier about the doctors. That’s why they were all crying.
If I can’t come out of this, break through the wall that I’m trapped behind, the doctors will let me die.
I’ll lose everything, everything , and worst of all, Devlin.
And our life together has only just begun.
I’m here, I try to scream. Don’t go. Devlin, please! You’ve got to hear me. Please help me. Somebody help me!