38. Devlin
38
DEVLIN
I t’s been a few days since I first gave the lamp to Chelsea, and according to Clara, whom I see every day at the hospital, it’s working. For now.
Using my magic to stabilize Castleview Books isn’t a save-all. It’s a Band-Aid on a wound that will eventually need stitches.
But if a bandage works for the moment, then I’m all in.
I’m back with Blair. The bruises that would be patching her face were healed by magic. She looks perfect, like Sleeping Beauty, and I’m not giving up on her.
I take her hand and squeeze it. “I know you’re in there. Wake up. Please wake up. I can’t…” I squash down a sob. “I just got you back. I can’t lose you again.”
I study her, looking for any sign that she can hear me—a twitch of her eyelid, a flexing of her fingers, but there’s nothing.
A knock comes from the door. “Mr. Ross.”
I look up to see Dr. Jones, who I like and despise at the same time. He’s taken good care of Blair, but his bedside manner is lacking.
“Dr. Jones,” I grind out.
“Can we talk?”
About the same thing that we discussed before? The last time we chatted, when Blair’s parents were in attendance, out of respect for them, I didn’t give this man a piece of my mind. But now we’re alone. Now he’s fresh meat.
I nod and release Blair’s hand. She’s hooked up to so many wires that I just want to rip them out. I give her one last look before stepping into the hallway.
I lean against the wall to keep myself upright. I’ve given so much magic that standing for long periods of time is grueling if not impossible. But I wouldn’t take a moment of it back.
“Mr. Ross, I know this isn’t easy, and I know that you aren’t married to Blair, but that was your plan.”
It does not escape my attention that he uses the past tense when talking about her future.
I fold my arms. “We wanted to be married as soon as possible.”
He nods, his expression full of concern. False concern, if you ask me. “You and I have talked about this before, but there are things you need to seriously think about.”
I exhale with a hiss.
“This is hard,” he explains, sympathy in his eyes, “but I’ve seen cases like hers before. The chances that Blair will wake up are slim, so slim that the percentage is below one percent. You need to consider letting her go. You can spend a lifetime feeding her through a tube, but is that the life she would want?”
“You don’t know what she would want,” I growl.
He lifts his hands in surrender. “You’re right. I don’t. But is this what you want for her? A life hooked up? Because since she’s not up and moving around, she’s at risk of developing bedsores. Her muscles will atrophy because she’s not using them. I know you have magic, and maybe some of the side effects can be diminished, but they’re still a possibility. Mr. Ross, her future is up to you, but I know what kind of life I would want for my loved one.”
The nerve of this man. “One where they starve to death? You would have me commit murder,” I say, glaring at him. “But I get it, it’s not murder if your scans show that she’s brain-dead, is it?”
His nostrils flare. “This is a decision for you and her parents.”
“Doc, with all due respect, she’s in there. You don’t see it, but I know it. Blair is alive and she’s trapped. She just needs to be unlocked. I don’t know how. But that’s the truth.”
He shoots me a look like he feels sorry for my delusion. “Get back to me. I’m working this weekend.”
He pats my shoulder as if that’s supposed to ease the harshness of his words.
After he walks away, I scoff. What kind of medical ethics is this? Telling me to let Blair starve to death? I punch a fist into my hand. I’d like to punch a wall, but I don’t have the strength.
I walk back into the room and sit down, my legs weak.
I refuse to consider a future without her in it. “Doctor just wanted to tell me how good you’re doing. He said you’re gonna be just fine.” I take her hand and kiss the back of it. “Just fine, indeed.”
As soon as I get home, Hands lays into me. You need to shave. And take a shower. You smell terrible.
I shake my head. “I don’t care.”
If Blair wakes up tomorrow, she won’t recognize you.
“Yes, she will.”
He points to a hall mirror, and I take a look. My hair’s shaggy, a patchy beard is clinging to my cheeks and my eyes are sunken in.
Okay, so Hands has a point. “Fine. I’ll clean up.”
After I get out of the shower and swipe a hand over the fogged-up mirror, the only thing that I can think is that a dead man is staring back at me—one who looks like all it will take is a strong wind to snap him in half.
Well, it’s probably just about true. But somehow I find the strength to shave and put on a clean set of clothes.
I’m exhausted by the time I get back downstairs. Hands has cooked fresh trout and couscous. It smells delicious—the couscous is buttery, the trout is flaky, and I have no appetite. But I can’t let Hands’s food go to waste.
I sit at the table and take a small bite. I know it’s good because Hands is a superb cook, but everything tastes like sawdust.
How was she today? he signs, taking a spot at the end of the table.
“The same.” I move the food around on the plate with my fork, simulating eating. “The doctor approached me again about letting her go.”
Maniac.
“I know. I get that he doesn’t know her and so he’s not invested, but I am. Her parents are; her family is.”
It’s too bad that your ability to see the future can’t save her now.
“I know.” Hands doesn’t mean that in a bad way, and I don’t take it like that. “But I don’t have my power anyway. Blair still does.”
Hands freezes while reaching for the salt. I assume to give it to me because Hands doesn’t eat. You can influence?
“Yeah.” I take a bite of the trout and force it down. “What?”
Could you influence her out of the coma?
What? I do a double take. “What did you say?”
Influence her out of the coma.
I drop the fork. Everything stops. The world tips on its side, and I’m falling off, crashing into stars—stars that could change my life.
I jump out of the chair, and it crashes to the floor behind me. “Oh my gods, Hands. You’re brilliant! Why didn’t I think of that? Influence Blair! I can influence her to come out.” I look around for my jacket, find it and slip it on. “Thanks for the meal, but I’ve got to go. I’ve got to reach the hospital as soon as possible.”
Clara and Phillip are with Blair when I arrive at the private room. Clara looks up. “I thought you were going home to get some rest.”
“I did.” My hands are twitching, I’m ready to jump in, but I don’t want to give her parents false hope.
Phillip wrinkles his brow. “Everything all right?”
The energy that I’ve got left pulses through my body—it’s antsy, jonesing to be released. “Can I be alone with her for just a moment?”
They exchange a look, and then Clara rises from the chair. “Of course.”
“Thanks. There’s something I need to say to her. It won’t take long.”
“We’ll leave you alone.” She ushers Phillip out the door. “We’ll grab something to drink,” she tells him.
As soon as they’re gone, I nearly leap into the chair. I take Blair’s hand and flare up her power.
Magic stirs in my heart, and I close my eyes, focusing it on reaching Blair. When I’ve done this in the past, all I’ve had to do was send a gentle (or in Storm’s case, not so gentle) suggestion down a line of magic and straight into the person I was targeting.
But this is going to take more than a gentle push. This will take it all. I focus my magic on breaking through the barrier to her mind and nudging her.
Wake up. Wake up. Come back.
I keep sending the thought, watching and waiting, putting every bit of power that’s in my body into nudging and nudging, pushing and pushing, wrapping my magic around her head like a pair of hands and diving deep into her mind, deeper than I had to go with Storm, diving like I’m trying to reach the bottom of the ocean and may not make it back up for air. It’s the one shot I’ve got, so everything has to go into it.
I think about the doctor saying she’s got less than a one percent chance of coming out of this, I think about a life of Blair never waking up, I think about how I want to see us married, with children, how I want to grow old with her, and how I want her to open a potion shop and really become the best version of herself.
It’s because of her that I’m the best version of myself .
All these thoughts pour out of me along with the magic, and I’m still diving, still trying to reach the bottom of the ocean when?—
Her eyelids flutter.
Was that real? She hasn’t moved in so long that it feels like a mirage—an oasis resting deep in the desert, an illusion, but I’m praying that it isn’t.
With one last push, I release the last drop of power I have, until?—
Her pinkie twitches.
And I sever the connection. There’s nothing left. I’m a dried-up husk. But for Blair, I will find the last bit of energy hiding inside me.
I take her hand. “Blair?”
Her fingers slowly curl around mine, and hope explodes in my chest.
“Blair?”
She blinks a few times. Her eyes open, and oh my gods, but it’s a miracle!
She takes a good long look at me and then throws herself into my arms. She clutches onto me like I’m a life raft in the middle of the ocean. Never in my life have I experienced such relief.
It’s feels like a house has been sitting on my shoulders and it’s finally crumbled to the ground. I stroke the back of her head and hold her tight, cradling Blair like she’s the most precious thing in the world, because she is.
She bursts into tears, and I pull back, wiping the streaks from her cheeks with my thumb. My heart’s racing in my throat. Is she okay? “What’s wrong? Are you in pain?”
She shakes her head, gulps down some air. “I was so scared. I was so afraid.”
“Shh. You’re safe now. Everything’s going to be all right.”
She hiccups and hugs me again, resting her cheek on my shoulder and whispering, “It was horrible. I couldn’t reach you. All I wanted to do was see you and talk to you. I tried so hard, so many times. I tried to come back, but I couldn’t.” A shaky breath staggers from her lungs. “I thought I’d never be with you again.”
I hug her tighter. “I felt the same way, but here we are, and everything’s going to be all right.” I stroke the back of her head and try to lighten the situation with, “This is nothing that a good nudging couldn’t take care of.”
She barks a laugh and pulls back, eyelids puffy, nose red—it’s the most beautiful sight. Blair crying means she’s alive, she’s here with me.
A sly smile spreads across her face. “You nudged me.”
“I did. You impressed?”
“I’m so much more than impressed. You are my hero.”
I kiss the back of her hand. “I will take that compliment happily every day for the rest of my life, and I will do everything in my power to live up to that.”
Her brow quirks. “Are those going to be your wedding vows?”
I laugh. “Do you want them to be?”
“If they are, then I’m all in.”
We laugh a moment and then slowly move in for a kiss. She pauses, pulls back. “My breath.”
“Your teeth get brushed every day.”
“Oh, that’s right.” She breaks into a smile. “Well, then, please kiss me. Kiss me forever and don’t stop. I want to drown in you, Devlin Ross, and only you.”
I kiss her as passionately as I dare, seeing as how she just woke up from a coma, and I’m sure she needs to be examined. But this kiss is everything. It’s about a future that lays before us like a yellow brick road, it’s about hope and it’s all about love.
When we break apart, I caress her cheek, and she tilts her face into my touch. “I love you so much,” she whispers.
“I love you more.”
“Doubtful. I love you to infinity,” she boasts.
I chuckle. “I love you to infinity plus one.”
She closes her eyes and smiles, and that’s when I remember. “Your parents! They just went down the hall. I need to tell them. And the nurses!” I turn my head toward the door and shout, “She’s awake!”
When no one comes, I rise, my legs still weak. I kiss her hand again. “Stay right where you are. Don’t move.” I release her to take one step away and then turn back around. “You promise not to go anywhere, right?”
She lifts the arm with the IV stuck inside her. “Trust me, I’m not going anywhere.”
“Just being sure. I love you, Blair Thornrose.”
She grins. “I love you, too, Devlin Ross.”
I open the door and take one last look at her. “Be right back.”
Then I race down the hall, shouting, “She’s awake! Get the doctor!”
A nurse starts to rush past me to check on Blair, and I grab her by the shoulders. “Did you see which direction her parents went?”
She points down the hall. “That way.”
Everyone I see, I tell them that Blair’s awake. They don’t know me. They don’t know Blair, but I don’t care. My world is restored. Blair is alive! She didn’t die and she’s awake!
I’m just about to round a corner when her parents whip around it. “She’s awake,” I exclaim, throwing my arms up.
Clara presses her palms to her cheeks. “Thank the gods!”
Phillip hugs her. “It’s a miracle!”
I stop, out of breath, and place both hands on my hips. Panting, I reply, “Yes, it is.”
I’m about to turn and go back to Blair’s room, but I can’t move. My energy’s vanished. All of it. I used too much magic. I used every single ounce that was within me, and with it went my life force.
My legs aren’t responding. They’re not listening to me, and before I’m able to stop, my knees buckle. I reach for the wall as I fall to floor.
My last thought as darkness falls on me is, At least I saw her one last time before I died.