Chapter Sixteen
Phin
Icouldn’t hear anything except the sounds of the forest, which didn’t make sense unless something had disturbed the papers in the files, a possibility I hoped hadn’t happened. What a nightmare that would be.
The darkness was so complete that I couldn’t see anything in front of my face.
It wasn’t as scary as I’d expected. I’d expected more growling, maybe fire pits, people screaming.
But there was nothing but darkness. The main problem was that we couldn’t move because we couldn’t see our surroundings.
Would we walk straight into a tree and knock ourselves out?
We could walk off a cliff for all I knew.
A cool breeze brushed my arms, and I clung to Ossy. The last thing I wanted was to lose him in the darkness. “This is the worst thing that could have happened, right?”
“Pretty much.” Oh, gods. What the hell were we going to do? If the worst had happened, we were in Tech Duinn. Which meant Donn had us right where he wanted us. There was only one good thing about this new nightmare.
At least we were together.
“Which means it can’t get any worse. Right?”
Ossy’s arms tightened around me. “That’s only true if you don’t let go.”
“No worries there.” I was pretty sure I’d never let go of Ossy again.
Trees surrounded us. The breeze was gentle, yet it stirred the leaves. I could smell vegetation. Wherever Donn had put us, it wasn’t the worst the realm had to offer. My instincts told me he didn’t really want to hurt us.
The ground shifted under my feet, as if my shoes were settling into pebbles—tiny rocks. I shifted my foot, testing it, trying to confirm what I was feeling. So maybe we were on a path. No leaves. Not soft, decaying soil. “We’re standing on a path. That means it leads somewhere, right?”
“Yeah, and that place could lead to much worse things than what we’ve got here.” That was true and an excellent point.
“What do we do, Ossy?” I wanted him to have all the answers because I had none.
“I have no idea.” Well, damn.
“Nothing can actually kill us. We’re both immortal because we’re reapers. I mean, I’m a reaper’s assistant—”
“You’re a reaper and a damn good assistant.” Not that I was fishing for compliments. I was trying to brainstorm a way out. Immortality meant we would have plenty of time to figure it out. Still, the sooner we got out of the realm, the better.
I rested my head against his chest. “Thank you, but could we please focus on the problem?”
“All I’m saying is that you belong with the reapers, not with the Bureau. And not only because you’re my beloved. We love you. Especially me.”
“I love you, too, Ossy.” I really did. If anything, my feelings for him were the problem.
They had felt bigger than what I assumed Ossy's feelings for me were. I didn’t think we were on the same page.
I had felt alone in love. Aside from him coming to save me from the Bureau and being under Donn’s thumb, I had little evidence to prove otherwise.
Other than him saying so. But were the words enough?
So if I were a beloved...
Immortality wasn’t any different from what I already had.
Becoming a reaper’s assistant had come with that perk.
But if I were a beloved, and that was a big if, then the thing that made it dangerous for Donn, the thing that threatened the barrier between the living world and the afterlife, was that I could go anywhere I wanted in any realm.
And if that were true, it would mean I could also leave this realm.
“I still don’t feel a bond or a connection with you, Ossy.”
“That doesn’t mean it’s not there, Phin.” He was, of course, right.
So if the connection existed, whether or not I felt it, then it meant we could grow it, no matter where we were.
Which meant all we had to do was figure out how to continue.
But bonding in Tech Duinn was problematic.
Many terrifying creatures could live nearby.
And also, if we got down and dirty in Doon’s realm, would he know about it?
Wait. There was that time in the supply closet when Ossy sucked me off.
His mouth, oh my gods. Anyway, if Donn knew about that, then it was just weird to contemplate.
It was safe to say I wasn’t a voyeur. I especially didn’t want Donn watching with his cool, judgmental smile.
I’d half expect him to pull out a number card and rate our performance.
Gods, why was I still thinking about Donn watching? Stop it, Phin. Seriously.
I should be thinking about Ossy’s dick. That would get us out of here. Maybe. It really was the stuff of dreams. Big, but not holy-shit-that-thing-just-poked-my-navel big.
I carefully lowered myself along Ossy’s body, making sure I didn’t slam my knees too hard into the ground. I reached out, feeling beneath me. Yep, tiny stones. We really were on a path. I fumbled with Ossy’s robe, trying to find what I was looking for.
“What are you doing?” He ran his fingers through my hair.
“I’m sucking your dick. If I can find it.” Was it in the same place as before? Was it still where it had been the last time I’d seen it? “This robe is problematic in ways I didn’t expect.”
Ossy sighed. “Stop.”
“We have to bond. And if you fuck me, I could end up with a pebble up my ass. Sucking you off seems safer.” Except for the pebbles digging into my knees. Good gods, that was the wrong kind of torture.
It was also safe to say I wasn’t into pain. Nothing killed a boner faster.
Ossy chuckled. I wasn’t sure what I’d said to make him laugh, but I liked the sound of it. “How would pebbles get all the way up there?”
“Do you remember the time when we were on the beach and I had sand in my crack? You had to help me get it out.” I’d come again when Ossy’s idea of helping meant he’d wash me with a washcloth while in the shower and then eat my ass.
“I remember every single taste, baby.” Ossy practically purred when he said it.
So did I. “If we complete the bond, I might be able to make a door appear. You just have to show me how. Then we can get out of here.”
“We’d have to see the door, though.” Ossy made a valid point.
“We might have to stumble around in the dark to find it, but do you have a better idea?”
“Oh, I think your idea is one of the best ones you’ve ever had. This is not me arguing the point. I promise you that.” Ossy loved getting his dick sucked as much as I did.
“If you are my beloved, I hope you’re right.”
“I’m one hundred percent right, Phin. Believe me when I say it. I’ve never lied to you.”
“You didn’t give two craps about spending time with me before.” That was what caused doubt and what I couldn’t seem to let go of.
“Come here.” He pulled me back into his arms and cupped my cheek as I stood. “We’re beloved. You belong to me, Phin. And I belong to you. I promise, baby. I swear it.”
He kissed me. At first, he took little sips. He knew they stoked my fire faster than just about anything. When he deepened it, I was ready for him, opening up to let him take it as far as he wanted.
It only took seconds for everything else to disappear—everything except Ossy.
The way he touched me. The way he smelled of the sea, fresh and salty, like sun-warmed skin and summer heat.
He never needed sunscreen. Despite his fair hair and blue eyes, he always tanned rather than burned.
He held me gently, saying the things I needed to hear, all without speaking a single word.
Maybe the connection had been there all along.
Maybe we’d been building it long before the reapers defected.
Nothing Donn had done had stopped it from forming.
I just hadn’t been paying attention before.
Not all the fear I felt was mine. Some of it belonged to Ossy.
I was almost sure of that. It faded the longer we kissed, as passion heated our blood, until it was bigger than fear, bigger than just about anything.
It didn’t make the danger disappear. It just made everything else seem quieter and less important.
I don’t know how long we kissed. It was long enough for me to want to climb inside Ossy and live there forever. But I knew one thing. No dick-sucking was required. We’d clearly done enough to bond.
Ossy trailed his lips along my jaw, then pressed his cheek to mine. “I’m sorry I didn’t make you a priority. It might have taken almost losing you for me to realize how much you mean to me, but I promise it won’t happen again.”
The best predictor of present behavior is past behavior, so I knew I shouldn’t trust Ossy. But sometimes a person just had to take a risk. So, with no small amount of courage, I believed him.
“Okay, Ossy,” I whispered, cupping his cheek. “Let’s do this. Let’s figure out how to conjure a door.”