Chapter 16
Chapter Sixteen
THEO
Ihaven’t gone inside yet. Evie isn’t who I need to talk to right now—her brother is.
Everett and I haven’t spoken since I left, and it’s about time I make that right.
What I feel for Evie is more than attraction.
Seeing her fall, even though she didn’t really get hurt, is what it took to realize how much I care about her.
Watching her walk away helped, too.
I still have to talk to Evie about how I feel, but Everett comes first. I’ve been a piece of shit to him, and he doesn’t even know what’s going on.
The fresh air hits my nostrils as I pace around the backyard, waiting for him to answer the phone. A mountain of guilt rests on my shoulders, pushing me into the muddy ground.
“Do you know what time it is?” he asks groggily.
“No.” I chuckle and run my fingers through my hair. “Sorry. I don’t.”
I hadn’t even considered that I would be waking him up. I guess we can add it to the ever-growing list of things that make me an asshole.
“I hope everything is alright,” he says. “Is it Evie? Is she okay?”
“No, no. She’s great.”
“Liar. She texted me about the fall.”
“Ah.” I chuckle. “Other than that. It really wasn’t anything big. She has a few scrapes, but they’ll heal by the time she’s home.”
“Uh-huh.”
I can already feel myself wanting to chicken out—to put off the conversation and run away. If Everett is pissed about the fall, he’s going to be furious about what I have to say next.
“Maybe we should have this talk when you’re more awake,” I mutter.
“What?” Suddenly, he sounds alert. “Is it that serious?”
We don’t have serious conversations often. We’ve always been lighthearted friends, and aside from the times when he’s chewing me out and giving me unsolicited advice, we keep it that way.
What I’m starting to feel for Evie is something I should take seriously—and I do. I want him to know how sincere I am, too.
“I don’t know.” I tug my hair hard enough to pull out a few strands. “Maybe. It’s serious for me.”
His silence says more than words could.
“Don’t,” he utters. “Don’t tell me you and Evie—”
Shit. Did Evie already tell him about our kiss? I should have considered that. My head swims, and regret falls over me all at once. I shouldn’t have called him, not without talking to her first. This was a bad idea.
“We haven’t done anything,” I say in a rush.
“Then what the fuck, man?” He groans. “What serious shit could you be calling me about at six in the morning?”
“Nothing has happened, but”—I cringe—“I have feelings for her. I don’t know what to do.”
“Mother fucker,” he grumbles.
I bite my tongue.
“Here’s what you do.” His voice is firm. “Nothing. You do nothing. You finish the trip, and you get my sister home. Do you understand?”
What else did I expect? Him giving me his blessing? Of course, he wants me to stay away from his sister. Even if this conversation isn’t what I wanted to hear, it’s exactly what I need—someone to ground me.
I press my lips together. “I know. You’re right.”
“Promise. Promise me you’ll stay away from her.”
I glance at the cabin. How am I supposed to promise without knowing what she wants? It isn’t his choice to make.
“I promise,” I say weakly. “As much as I can when we’re sharing a cabin.”
“Watch it.”
“I’m serious,” I say. “I’ll try.”
“If you really care about her, you know it’s for the best. You know how you are in relationships. Neither of us wants her to get hurt.”
“Oh, I know.” I chuckle. “Or maybe I don’t. When’s the last time I had one of those?”
“Exactly. If you’re lonely, I can always set you up on another date.”
The idea of touching someone else makes my stomach roll. “No, no. Not lonely. You’re right. I don’t have time for that. Just needed someone to talk me down. Thanks, man.”
“I’m trusting you. She already told me about her crush on you, and that was weeks ago. I don’t know how far things have gotten.”
Weeks ago. Evie had feelings for me weeks ago. “She did?” My voice breaks. “Before we left?”
“Yeah. Well, sort of, in a way. The point is, I need you to be the one to stop anything from going too far. She has a big heart…”
“I get it, and I will.”
Evie does have a big heart—too big for me. Too good for me. When I end the call with Everett, I don’t feel bitter. He’s right. I’ll be the one to hold the boundaries, even though I’ve been feeling them wanting to fall and shatter.
It has to be me.
EVIE
The walk home helped. I shook off the embarrassment of the fall and collected my thoughts. All the way home, I repeated the reality like an affirmation. Nothing is happening between Theo and me. That’s what we agreed to.
Theo comes home later than usual, giving me plenty of time to wallow in my misery.
My hands are still scraped, but it’s not so bad anymore. The bleeding has stopped, and any pain subsides into a dull throb. I finish my work for the day, even with my bandaged hands, and I hate the feeling that comes after.
It’s like I’m waiting for him to come home.
A thrill comes next. Nothing is happening, but he still wants me. He wants to kiss me. I could feel it. I was the one who had to stop him, even though my coworkers were around. Anyone could have seen us.
I want to kiss him, too. It’s the first time in days I let myself think about it. He’s all I want. The thrill is still there when he finally opens the front door.
I perk up, turning to face him from my spot on the couch—one that’s practically permanent by now. I’m used to staying in this little cabin with him, even if the proximity is strange.
“Guess what?” I fight off a smile.
“What?” He shucks off his shoes and outer layers.
“I found part two of the documentary we were watching. What do you say? Should we start it up?”
He’s the one who wanted to watch the documentary about a paper company, not me. I expect it to be an obvious answer. It’s a good way to spend the evening, like we usually do. We can go back to our routine.
Theo sits on the rocking chair, which creaks and groans beneath him. I miss when he sat on the couch with me. He’s been distant for days, and it’s clear we aren’t returning to normal yet, not even after our almost-kiss in the woods. Maybe this is our new normal.
The thrill subsides back into embarrassment and pain.
“Are you sure you want to watch that?” he asks. “We can watch something more exciting.”
“Like what?” I mutter. “I don’t see you coming up with anything.”
“Like…”—He rubs his hands down his pants—“anything you want. It’s your turn to pick.”
“Fine. Whatever. I’ll pick.”
“Can you do that while I shower?” His smile seems forced.
I nod, my stomach dropping. Even knowing he wants to kiss me can’t make up for how it feels whenever he pushes me away.
My old habit of picking out the flaws in my partners doesn’t feel so prominent now, because he doesn’t have any. Now, the thing keeping me away from the partner I want is… it’s everything else.
He wanted me in the woods, but it’s hard to believe he still does.
That’s fine. I can do what I’ve been doing for so long. I can put myself first. If he really wants me to pick a movie I like, I will. One cheesy romantic comedy coming right up. Theo will have to suffer with my choices.
I know he’s done showering before I can hear or see him. The smoky, woodsy scent that has come to remind me of him fills the room once he opens the bathroom door. When I look up, I’m hit by more than the smell—it’s him.
Water drips from his soaking, curly hair onto his white T-shirt.
I swallow thickly and turn away, staring at the unmoving TV screen. “I found a movie I’ve been wanting to watch.”
“Oh yeah? Put it on.” He doesn’t even ask what it is as he moves back to the rocking chair.
Enough is enough. Even if he doesn’t want to kiss me again, I have to end this distance.
“You can sit with me, you know.” I pat the spot next to me. “There’s plenty of room. I know that chair isn’t comfortable, and you know I don’t bite.”
But I would bite him if he asked nicely.
He hesitates and, after a moment, redirects himself. “It isn’t…” There’s a pause before he sits next to me, pressed to the other end of the couch.
He is still so far away, but at least he’s here. I’m desperate, I realize, but I keep the desperation under lock and key.
Our silences used to be so comfortable. I still remember watching the sunset together, surrounded by only the chirping crickets. It was a comfortable silence. Now, there’s tension as we watch the film.
I glance at him from the corner of my eye. Sometimes, I find him watching me, too.
The movie plays in the background, and even though it’s been on my to-watch list for months, it doesn’t capture my attention. A game of stealth does. I scoot closer to him, moving slowly, hoping he doesn’t realize what I’m doing.
It’s halfway through the movie by the time he says something.
“You think you’re sneaky, don’t you?” He shakes his head, still not looking at me.
A smile dances on my lips. “I don’t know what you mean.”
“Yes, you do.” He finally turns his head, fixing his hungry gaze on me. “Do you know how hard it is to keep my hands to myself? You’re testing me.”
My lips pop open. “I’m not.”
“Good.” He leans in closer, his face inches from mine. “Because I won’t fail—no matter how much you want me to.”
“I think you want to, too.” In a defiant move, I move as close as possible, swinging a leg over him to straddle his lap.
He groans, his head leaning back. “Evie… please…”
I’m hesitant, ready to move off if he gives the signal—whether he asks me to stop or pushes me off. He does the opposite. His fingers dig into my thighs, and he pulls me down, keeping me in place.
“There are a million reasons I should push you away,” he whispers harshly. “We should stop. Do you want to know why?”
It’s almost like when we were on the plane. He started listing the causes of turbulence to calm me down. Now, he’s trying to talk me down with the facts. No matter how frustrating he is, he’s still so… well, adorable.
Too bad I no longer care about his facts.