Chapter 20
Chapter Twenty
THEO
There are too many reasons for me to be happy when we finally return to the cabin. We all call it early, deciding to wrap up around lunch, which gives me enough time to be alone with Evie.
All I can think about is planting a thousand kisses on her face and making sure her knees aren’t bruised. Between her hand injury and her knees getting scraped up, I may not be able to get her back to her brother in one piece.
Another reason for Everett to hate me.
I push the thought away. He’s the last thing I need to think about when we enter the cabin. Finally, we’re alone. Giggles fall freely from Evie’s mouth, and I’m seconds from scooping her into my arms when…
CLICK-CLACK…
CLICK-CLACK…
I pull back and look around. “Hello?”
An intruder. That’s the only thing I can think of. We leave the cabin alone for a day, and someone breaks in. This could have happened while Evie was here. Shit. Why did I let her stay here alone? What if someone broke in when I wasn’t around?
Evie cowers behind me, looking at me for answers, but I have none—not until Christine appears out of thin air. Not literally, of course. She comes out of the spare bedroom with a pleasant smile on her painted lips. I don’t know whether to be relieved or even more jolted by the sight of my COO.
“Hey there!” Christine beams.
I always knew she was coming on the trip, but I didn’t expect to see her in this cabin—with no text. No e-mail. What the hell?
“Jesus.” I chuckle. “Give a guy some warning next time, won’t you?”
“I e-mailed.” She lifts a brow, looking between us. “Did you not receive it?”
Evie shakes her head profusely. “No, but the signal is bad in the woods sometimes. I’m so sorry.”
“It’s fine.” Christine chuckles. “I didn’t mean to catch you off guard.”
“Then what are you doing here?” I know Christine well enough that I can poke slightly. Still lingering by the door, I take off my shoes. It’s strange, but I suddenly don’t feel at home in the cabin I’ve been turning into a home for nearly two weeks.
“There was a plumbing problem with my cabin.” Her nose curls. “Disgusting scene to walk in on, and I’m still recovering from the smell, but I know you have an extra room here.”
“Right.” I clear my throat, exchanging a brief look with Evie. Her clear expression tells me nothing. “The third room is small. Practically a closet, really. I can probably find you a better arrangement.”
She waves a hand dismissively. “I already checked it out. It’s fine. Sure, it’s small, but it will suit me for the week.”
The week—the whole week. This isn't good. Evie and I have already been sneaking around, and not very well, but this cabin is the only place we’ve been able to disappear—just the two of us.
Christine’s presence grounds me and reminds me of what I’ve always known. Work has to come first. My work saves the planet and people, and it’s worth putting my energy into…
Evie is the only thing that can distract me.
She smiles at Christine, her expression bright even in the face of something that can put a wedge between us. “We’re happy to have you here. I made croissants the other day. They’re not as fresh anymore, but…”
Evie continues chatting about her baked goods, which are overflowing in the kitchen, but all I can hear is the pounding and ringing in my ears.
Everything is about to change. It’s only a week, but it’s the last week Evie and I have before we return to the real world. Now, someone is taking that away from us.
EVIE
Waiting… waiting… that’s all I’m doing.
Apparently, Christine is a night owl. I never would have guessed it, and I definitely wouldn’t have judged it, but it’s a problem now that I’m waiting to talk with Theo. We sit in the living room, and I’m stiff, unable to focus on anything. We need to speak, and it needs to be alone!
Christine picks the movie—science fiction—another surprise. I’m not a huge fan of the genre, but after watching so many of Theo’s boring documentaries…
This is fine. The movie choice is the least of our problems tonight.
Oh, but it’s never-ending. When the first movie ends, she picks another. It’s nearly two in the morning when she finally goes to bed. I would usually be dead tired by now, accustomed to waking up with the sun for work, but I’m wired. Anxiety does that to me.
The last time I was this worried, I found an eviction notice on my front door. That was arguably worse, but it doesn’t feel that way—not to my heart. Our love bubble was always going to pop when the trip ended, but this is too soon. I’m not ready—we’re not ready.
We’re not alone, even when Christine’s bedroom door shuts. Not really. She could come out at any moment and surprise us, like she did with her arrival.
“What will we do?” I whisper urgently, scooting closer to the edge of the couch.
Theo is back to sitting on the rigid, wooden rocking chair. Now, it makes sense. Now, I can’t complain about the lack of proximity. Even though Christine is gone, I don’t dare touch him.
“I don’t know.” Theo exhales slowly and rocks in the chair—once, twice—the wood creaking loudly against the floor.
I was hoping he would have answers, but he doesn’t—and God, neither do I.
I’ve never been in this kind of situation.
Usually, when my situationships end, I want them to.
I’ve started to see their flaws, and they no longer shine as brightly as they did when we met.
Other times, they ghost me, and you know what? Ghosting is easier than this.
Theo’s flaws are starting to emerge. I can see them now. He doesn’t have a direction for us, and that… well, he isn’t willing to tell people about us, is he? He can’t. It was fun in the woods, with us sneaking around, but now…
There’s a wall between us.
No. I won’t go back to my old ways. There’s no need to doubt what we feel—what I feel. We still want each other. I’m confident, not doubting it for even a moment. Theo still believes in us, even if his breath is shaky. He’s carrying the same anxiety I am. That’s all.
“We”—I swallow thickly—“probably shouldn’t sleep together anymore. Right? Not while she’s here?”
The suggestion is for him, not for me. This business is the most precious thing to Theo.
I’ve seen him give his speeches, I’ve seen him hard at work, and I’ve even read his articles on forestry.
How can being with me be more important than saving the planet?
It can’t be. It isn’t. I won’t let it be.
Getting in the way of his dreams is not an option for me. I’ve never let anyone get in the way of mine, and I won’t be the one to ruin his. His relationship with Christine matters, too, and I don’t think she would understand.
No one will understand. Not my brother, not Christine, not anyone.
“Are you breaking up with me?” His lip curls up into a smile—not quite sad, but not the bright smile he wears in the throes of laughter.
“No.” I touch his knee—the only touch I’ll give him for now. “It’s not like that. You know it’s not like that, it’s just…”
“I know. You’re right.” He shakes his head. “I should have known something like this would happen. Things have been too good for us, haven’t they? Too easy?”
“Way too easy.”
Love is never this easy. I may not love Theo yet, but I think I will. This is the time to stop things before they reach that point, but I don’t want to.
“What are you suggesting, then?” he murmurs.
“Just that we stop sleeping together—and going on dates—for now. It’s a pause, not a breakup.” I curl my hands into fists; my nails dig into the tender, freshly healed skin. “Once we’re back home, things will be easier. Right? As fun as sneaking around is, I don’t want to risk it right now.”
I don’t even believe my own words. Being here, away from my brother and the office, is what made this easy. The trip ending won’t bring us back together. What if this really is the end?
Theo’s smile is as strained as mine. “Yeah.” His voice cracks. “We can wait until we’re home, and we’ll revisit the discussion.”
“Then it’s settled.” But my stomach isn’t. I’m going to be sick.
“Think you can keep your hands off me until then?”
I gasp and pull my hand away. “Of course I can. Can you?”
“I can try.” He leans in—not enough to touch, just enough to tease. “No promises.”
Considering that earlier in the day, he was dragging me through the woods for a moment alone… yeah. I’m not sure how well this will work out. I’ll be the strong one—the one to put a wall between us, and I’m doing it all for him.
That doesn’t make it easy.
“I’ll miss you,” I whisper, looking away.
“Hey.” He turns my face back in his direction, his fingers pressed to my cheek. It’s hard to gaze into his eyes now that heartbreak reflects there. He may try to hide it, but I can see through him, like he can see through me. “You don’t need to miss me. I’m right here, just like I’ve always been.”
“I know.” The two simple words feel like a lie.
Every time we take a step closer, we take three more back. That’s how it feels, especially when his hand drops from my face, and he leans back into his chair.
“We’ll be okay,” he says. “One more week, then we’ll be home.”
And who knows what will happen then?