Chapter 12
CHAPTER TWELVE
T hat Wednesday, Mel sat in the small computer lab inside the Point Beacon Public Library, scrolling through page after page of cocktail dresses with Lilly during her lunch break.
Even though Lilly had doubts about what Mel was doing with Adam, she was also Mel’s best friend and therefore determined to lend her support, in whatever way she could, she’d said.
Mel barely paid attention to Lilly’s constant chatter as she looked at dress after dress on her screen, her thoughts circling back to Adam and how oddly he’d acted at dinner the other night. Two had passed since then and she hadn’t seen him since, Adam claiming he’d been super busy at work when she’d called him. Apparently, they’d taken on a new engine rebuild project, and now he had his hands full. It was certainly possible, but she still sensed something more lurking beneath the surface of his excuse.
Meanwhile, her parents were busy planning a big joint birthday party-slash-welcome home shindig for her and James. All of it only made the knots of tension in Mel’s stomach tighten even more. This whole thing with Adam would be over soon, then…
What?
Well, honestly, Mel wasn’t sure, but she hoped they’d start something new. Maybe try dating out in the open for a change. She knew Adam still had some weird hang-ups about it, but maybe having James back home for him to confide in would help with that. Mel hoped so anyway.
To keep herself from obsessing over things, Mel had put her nose to the grindstone at work, getting things done at the library she’d put off for months because she simply didn’t have the time. She’d also taken on several new volunteers from the local retirement center and put them to good use, sorting the stacks and archiving older books in the collection to make room for new acquisitions.
There were even a couple of older gentlemen in the group who didn’t mind a little hard labor—if you could call moving empty wheeled bookshelves around “hard labor.” They’d helped Mel redesign the layout of the history section to make it more accessible and user-friendly.
But she still hadn’t decided what to wear to the wedding in Chicago yet. Which was the other reason Lilly was here. To help her choose wisely and quickly, so she could express-order it for delivery before she and Adam left on Friday after work. As a photographer, Lilly spent her days portraying people in their best light. Mel couldn’t think of anyone better to help her find something that would make Adam snap to attention when he saw her.
Unfortunately, it had been nearly an hour of constant searching by Mel and they still hadn’t found the perfect dress. She had curves and accentuating those without making her look too voluptuous was a priority.
Mel glanced at the clock, seeing her lunch break was almost over. This was taking too long. She didn’t mean to be so picky, but she wanted to look good on Adam’s arm, like they belonged together and she wasn’t some charity case he’d brought along because she was his best friend’s little sister. But maybe she was putting too much pressure on this one garment.
Maybe I’m putting too much pressure on this whole thing period.
The thought made her squirm a little in her seat. Sure, she might have allowed her feelings for Adam to grow deeper than she’d intended, considering their agreement, but that was normal, right? After all, she’d shared her body with him, bared her soul to him. She wanted to keep seeing him after their deal was over.
The problem was, she hadn’t told him any of this.
Her newest issue of Cosmo had proclaimed, “The only way to lead an authentic, fulfilled life is to take risks. Battle those doubt demons. Your reward could be unexpected and beyond your wildest dreams.”
That all sounded sunny and sweet and Hallmark perfect but it hadn’t mentioned anything about how to handle a man who was as skittish as a wild colt about anything related to emotions or relationships or true intimacy.
While Mel was usually far too pragmatic to go in for all that basic motivational fluff, even she had to admit her time with Adam had worked for her. She’d come so far in just a few short weeks, both with her outer appearance and her inner desires. And yes, maybe a tiny part of her still clung to her old fears—that she wasn’t enough for a guy like Adam and there was no way he’d seriously consider dating her after their deal—she’d effectively countered those negative voices so far. And she was so close to reaching her ultimate goal of being with Adam Foster, her dream man, that stopping now seemed impossible, despite their looming deadline.
She swallowed hard against the lump of anxiety in her throat and scrolled through more photos onscreen. But what she saw in her head was the last night she and Adam had spent together. How she’d woken up with her head on his chest, over his heart, and how she’d lain in the predawn gloom, listening to his soft snores and savoring his heat and the protective weight of his arm slung around her waist. When he was asleep, the constant tension in his body vanished, leaving him looking so young and vulnerable. Adam would hate that, she knew. He had a thing about being vulnerable with people. It was probably why he still clung to his old playboy persona around town when he’d proven to be anything but in her short time with him. She wasn’t sure why he feared getting too close with anyone, and a good time to discuss it had never come up for them.
Maybe this weekend would give her an opportunity to ask him.
She sighed and kept scrolling through more dresses.
The rumors about Adam were still going strong in Point Beacon, what with all the groupies that always hung out at Victory Vets and, if the gossip were to be believed, Adam took to bed on a regular basis. He’d denied being with anyone else but her during their agreement when she’d asked him, and part of Mel said it shouldn’t matter even if he was seeing other people. Hell, he’d come right out and asked her about it that day at lunch, but still, the thought of him being with another woman made Mel’s chest ache.
Which was really dumb because they didn’t belong to each other. Not really. And they wouldn’t either, not unless Adam made a major change from his “no love” stance and who was she to ask him to?
Ugh. She rubbed her temples at the tiny frustration headache starting there. They had one week left until their deal was over. One week until Mel went back to her books and her cat and her private little single life. Without Adam.
Shoulders slumping, Mel jabbed a last hunk of lettuce from her salad with her fork and shoved it in her mouth, chewing without really tasting it, her appetite gone.
“Wait!” Lilly said from beside her, nudging Mel with her elbow. “Go back one page.” Mel did and Lilly gasped, pointing to an image of a deep burgundy knee-length silk chiffon dress with a halter neckline and a full circle skirt. Red was Adam’s favorite color, and he said Mel had the best legs in town, so this cocktail dress ticked both those boxes. “It’s perfect!” Lilly grinned. “Adam will love it.”
Mel shushed her, glancing around to make sure none of the nosy volunteers had overheard. Thankfully, they all seemed to be busy with their tasks.
Lilly gave her an irritated look and waved off Mel’s concern. “Whatever. Bring up the size options for the dress. If you go down in flames, might as well look gorgeous as you burn, right?”
“Will you shut up?” Mel snapped, heat prickling her cheeks. “I’m not going down in flames. My plans were a success.”
“Uh huh.” Lilly looked dubious as she commandeered the computer from Mel to check out the dress herself. “So, Adam is going to give you a happily ever after then?”
“What? No.” Mel shook her head, flustered. Had she been that transparent? “I don’t want that. I mean, I do, but he doesn’t. We had an agreement and I’m sticking to that. It’s fine. Stop talking about it.”
Lilly shook her head, clicking several more buttons on the screen. “Well, whatever you say, I think you and he are in deeper than either of you think. I know you, Mel. You are not a one-night stand kind of gal. You’ve got forever written all over you. And for a guy like Adam, that’s kryptonite.”
The fact Lilly had basically nailed the truth only made Mel feel more exposed. She shoved Lilly out of the way and ordered the dress without even looking at the price, just wanting this conversation to be done. “There. I have my dress. You can go now.”
“Yikes. Sorry if I hit too close to the bone, hon,” Lilly said, not looking sorry at all. “Like I said, I just don’t want to see you hurt when all this is over. Because you know it will be over soon, right?”
Mel snatched up her credit card and shove it back into her purse, avoiding her best friend’s gaze. Yes, she knew that. No, it didn’t stop it from hurting.
“Thanks for helping me find a dress,” she said, ignoring Lilly’s other question.
“Hey.” Lilly put her hands on Mel’s shoulders when she straightened, forcing her to meet Lilly’s gaze at last. “I’m only trying to protect you here, Mel.”
“I know.” They hugged and when Mel pulled back, she changed subjects. “You’re coming to the party next weekend, right? To take pictures of James’s homecoming?”
“Yep.” Lilly smiled. “Wouldn’t miss it.”
“Good.” Mel closed down the computer then pushed to her feet, glad to have something to discuss that didn’t involve Adam. “Maybe you can talk to him about the festival thing with the mayor’s office.”
“Maybe.” Lilly tucked a stray curl of her dark hair behind her ear. “It’ll be nice having James back in Point Beacon again.”
“Yeah, it will.” She still hadn’t told her brother about what had happened with her and Adam, but depending on this weekend, she might not need to. If she asked Adam about his past and he told her to get lost, things would be over sooner than expected and there’d be no needed to let anyone else into their little secret.
Little secret.
Lilly was right. Mel didn’t do casual sex very well. Then again, before Adam she hadn’t done sex at all, so…
“Oh!” Lilly checked her watch and grabbed her purse from the counter. “I need to go or I’ll be late for a consultation on a new wedding shoot.” She gave Mel another brief hug before hurrying toward the exit. “Call me when the dress comes in and we’ll pick out shoes and accessories.”
Once her bestie was gone, Mel went back to work, checking out materials for patrons, though her mind still whirled with thoughts of Adam and all the loose ends they still had left to tie. She waited until the last patron walked out before dropping her head into her hands. She needed to just be honest with Adam and tell him how she was feeling.
And if he didn’t want a future with her, then she’d let him go.
No matter how it might break her heart.