Chapter 19 Gwen
GWEN
“Do you want me to put the cookies in a plastic bag, or is Tupperware better?” I called out to Sarah.
“Freezer bag, please,” she yelled back to me. “Easier to cram in my carry-on.”
As usual, everything was happening at the same time. My trip to the resort with Harrison and Sarah’s two-week research trip to the Everglades were both kicking off the next day, and we were each scrambling to prep in our own way.
Me, baking emergency cookies for my sister to take with her—kitchen sink cookies, Sarah’s favorite—and Sarah, spelunking in my closet to find appropriate outfits for my trip.
No surprise, our top-of-mind concern was each other.
Compared to the amazing experience of using Harrison’s kitchen, coming back to my rundown kitchen felt like I was baking cookies over a campfire.
Every single workaround I was forced to use, like needing a flashlight to see inside our ancient oven, was a reminder of our dodgy setup.
But could I afford a sixty-thousand-dollar oven like the one in his kitchen?
Yeah, no. Not now, not ever.
“What’s the deal with this black cocktail dress?” Sarah came into the kitchen holding the minuscule thing up in front of her body. “It looks like it was made for a toddler.”
I laughed at her befuddled expression. “That was a TikTok mistake. I got influenced, bought it from one of those shitty websites that looks like it was created in 1995, and when it arrived, I realized it’s way too small. But it does stretch a little.”
Sarah was already stepping into it and trying to pull it up her body, twisting and grunting as she forced it up and over her leggings and T-shirt.
“There. How do I look?”
She bumped her hip out and posed seductively, which made the outfit look that much more ridiculous. I burst out laughing.
“Dude, it’s not funny. Your closet is a wasteland of either black, gray, or white corporate girl bullshit, or athleisure. You need some fun resort outfits. Ladies-who-lunch crap, since you’re going to be hanging with the fancy set.”
“I know,” I sighed dramatically as I finished packaging up the cookies. “Let’s go see what we can do.”
I followed behind my waddling sister as she peeled off the rejected dress.
“What’s the gameplan for the Saturday before the party?” Sarah asked.
“Nothing yet. I think I need to wear something transitional.”
Sarah snorted. “Good luck with that. You’ve got nada that’s appropriate. Maybe you could dress down one of those office girlie dresses?”
“Well, you have a closet too…” I trailed off.
Even though we were the same size, we rarely shared clothing—but this was a desperate moment. I was leaving the next day, so there was no time to shop.
“Be my guest,” she gestured toward her room. “If you’re looking for waterproof cargo pants and sun-proof long-sleeve cotton T-shirts, you’re in luck.”
“Oh come on! You have some really gorgeous pieces hidden in your closet that you never wear. And don’t act like I’m lying! Any time you get a little bonus I see those Nordstrom boxes rolling in. So would it be okay if I…” I clasped my hands beneath my chin in a wardrobe prayer.
“Duh, of course. Go crazy, my washable silk is your washable silk.”
“Yay!” I jogged to her bedroom and flung open the closet door.
Sarah settled on her bed behind me as I started plucking through my options.
“You really like him, huh?”
I paused with my hand on a thin knit shell. “I haven’t thought too much about it. I’m just enjoying myself.”
A throw pillow sailed by me and landed at my feet. “Liar.”
I picked up the pillow and chucked it back at her, nailing her on the head. Sarah fell over like it was a kill-shot.
“Did I hurt you for real? Sorry!” I ran over to where she was still flat on her back.
She whipped her hand up and smacked me with the hidden pillow, and we both collapsed into giggles.
“I like this version of you,” Sarah finally said once we’d collected ourselves. “You’re really fun when you’re happy.”
I slipped onto the bed opposite her and crossed my legs, facing my sister. “Yeah. I am happy. But I’m also kind of freaked out. It feels like this is a big deal. A family party? That’s like, dating-for-six-months level shit.”
Sarah nodded. “Yeah, it’s a big deal. And it feels like that means something.”
I shrugged, not sure what to say. Did I want it to mean something? And if so, what exactly did I want it to mean?
As if in response to my thoughts, Sarah asked, “Are you going to get rid of your guardrails and be brave for a change?”
“Why would you say…who…” I sputtered. “Explain.”
“All I’m saying is that you shouldn’t overthink what you and Harrison are doing together. Accept that you’re taking a risk. Acknowledge the happiness you’re feeling. Let your heart lead you,” Sarah ticked off the suggestions on her fingers.
“I can…try?” I said. Honestly, putting myself out there and just hoping for the best sounded incredibly risky—and I’d never been one to chase after risks.
Sarah pounded me with the pillow again, and I managed to steal it away from her. “Oh come on! You’re acting like you’re getting ready for a shift in the coal mine. This is supposed to be fun!”
“Says the woman who hasn’t said yes to a date in how long?” I gripped the pillow menacingly.
She held up her hands in surrender. “Good point, but I’ve already told you that I’m in my work era.
My two-year plan is all mapped out, and there’s no chance I’m letting myself get derailed by a relationship.
” She paused. “But I do have to admit that our park ranger liaison in the Everglades just happens to be very handsome. Not that it matters.”
“No, of course not,” I teased. “Your hierarchy of needs for this trip goes like this: harvesting algae, staring into a microscope, fighting off insects, avoiding alligators, taking notes, and ignoring how horny you are for Mr. Smokey Bear.”
I whipped the pillow at her just to underscore my point, but she snagged it out of the air before it could hit her.
“Stop, I’m actually being serious. Yeah, you’ve been burned before, mixing business with pleasure, I get it. But this feels different,” she said reverting to her big-sister tone.
“You’re not getting your head turned around by a TV star who isn’t being honest with you, and you’re not getting dragged into something toxic by a guy who knew he could only measure up to you if he kept dragging you down.
What you’ve got right now looks like a real, grown-up relationship, and it’s working.
At least from my perspective. You’re happy, Gwen.
And what’s amazing is it’s not all because of him. It’s like you’re in this…”
“Snow globe of joy?” I offered.
Sarah snorted at me. “Scarlet lyric to the rescue. But yeah, you could call it that. You’re fulfilled by your work, you’ve got something amazing cooking up with bossman, you’re just…happy. And I love that for you.”
Sarah’s blessing made me lean into everything I’d been trying to ignore. Yeah, I was feeling good about my life right now. And with the trip on the horizon, it was only going to get better…wasn’t it?
“Okay, counterpoint,” I blurted out. “What if I fuck everything up? This is his family, Sarah. His friggin’ super rich, probably incredibly judgey family. And he told me they’re not the closest, so it’s going to be tense.”
“Tense for him. Which is where you come in,” Sarah said. “You can be his safe space when the family politics get too crazy.”
Having that kind of responsibility should have sounded intimidating…
but actually, it made me feel a little better.
Stepping into chaos and pulling things together was my jam.
I might not know how to pull off being a happy woman in a healthy relationship, but I could rock the hell out of managing a shitstorm.
“Just keep being brave,” Sarah continued. “I know you have it in you. Surrender to what you’re feeling for a change. Don’t let those assholes from your past make you doubt what’s going on between you and Harrison.”
“You’re right,” I said.
“Of course I’m right. I’m your big sister, and you have to listen to what I say.”
We both cracked up because it was her old refrain from when we were kids. Sarah had always been bossy.
“Now get back in the closet,” she joked. “I’ve been holding out on you. I definitely have stuff that works for the weekend.”
I pretended to be shocked. “I’m sorry, is my buttoned-up scientist sister a…secret clothing hoarder?”
“You be the judge. Push those lab coats over and see what you can find.”
Sure enough, tucked behind the staid white uniforms, I discovered an explosion of color.
“Ta-da,” Sarah winked at me. “Get in there.”
And with that, my big sister achieved fairy godmother status.