Chapter 26 Gwen
GWEN
Ihadn’t really wanted to go to lunch with Susan and Denise on the day I resigned from Ashford Jets, but resisting both of them at the same time was impossible.
I’d packed up my office quickly because I wanted to keep gossipy conversations with my colleagues to a minimum, especially because so many people kept asking about the black eye and cuts on my cheek.
Talking about the accident just made me think about Harrison, and I didn’t have any additional bandwidth to spare on a man who didn’t care about me.
My tenure at the company had always had an expiration date, so it wasn’t a big surprise that I was on my way out. Still, I wasn’t in the mood to pretend like I was in a happy headspace after what I’d been through.
For the past few days, I’d spent my time revisiting Scarlet’s breakup era albums in a stained hoodie and bleach-dotted leggings.
Sarah’s trip had been extended, which meant I could really commit to the couch without needing to justify it to her.
She’d sent me cute photos of her with Mr. Hot Park Ranger holding various creatures and plants, and I was happy at least one of us was in a good place romantically.
“What are we in the mood for?” Denise asked me as we walked out of the building and into the bright sunshine.
I clawed through my purse for my sunglasses like I was a vampire. I was dressed for the role as well, in funereal black.
“I’m fine with whatever,” I said. “My appetite’s been off lately.”
“You’ve got start-up stress,” Susan agreed. “But you’ll be fine, you’re a crackerjack. We know what you’re capable of.”
“And we’ve got your back,” Denise added. “We see so many high-profile trainwrecks come through our doors, so we can direct them to you. The next time a rock star ODs on a Ashford jet, you’ll be the first person we call, after the paramedics.”
“Gee, thanks,” I chuckled. “I love spinning trips to rehab as ‘exhaustion.’”
“Hey, it pays the bills,” Denise laughed.
We wound up in a restaurant that looked like a greenhouse, complete with birds flying above us. Normally, I would’ve been charmed by the place, but today it felt too bright and echo-y. The sun streaming in made my head hurt.
I could feel Susan watching me as I studied the dictionary-thick menu.
“What’s going on with you?” she finally asked. She lifted her glasses to peer at me. “I know change is hard, but you seem…not yourself.”
Which was code for “sad.” I cleared my throat. “Oh, just the usual end-of-an-era stuff. I enjoyed my time at Ashford, and I’m a little bummed to leave.”
Susan and Denise exchanged a look.
“Oh, come on. We all know it’s more than that. It’s Harrison,” Susan said. “We don’t know the details, but it’s obvious something changed between the two of you.”
Damn, and here I thought I’d done such a good job of hiding my broken heart behind a blandly pleasant front.
“It’s so obvious he’s in a dark place.” Denise shuddered. “He’s been a terror. Back on the warpath in a way I haven’t experienced in ages.”
“Harrison knows better than to try that crap with me, but I get the moody side of him instead of grumpy,” Susan added.
“He can barely muster more than one-word answers to any of my questions. He goes in his office and slams the door like a teenage boy. And he canceled every meeting that wasn’t critical. ”
“We know it’s none of our business, but it would help to know what he’s going through,” Denise said. “So we can adjust accordingly.”
She was couching it like I’d be doing them a favor, but I knew it was more a case of them wanting to help me. They leaned closer to me while I took a long drink of water to buy myself time.
There wasn’t anything they could do to help me.
At the same time, though, I didn’t want to shut the conversation down.
I liked both of them, very much. And they willingly subjected themselves to the terror that was Harrison Ashford every day, so I sort of owed them some backstory to help them navigate his asshole-ishness.
“We, uh, we were sort of together,” I began. “And now we’re not.”
“Yes, of course, anyone with eyes could see that,” Susan said encouragingly. “We loved that you soothed the savage beast. What went wrong?”
I dropped my head and stared at my lap to hide the tears. I thought I’d finally closed off that valve, but no, all it took was one question, and the waterworks turned on again. It had to be the warm, maternal presence of the two women after being alone with my own thoughts for days.
“It didn’t work out,” I managed. I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from saying more.
I didn’t want to get into the details about just how uncaring their boss was. They probably already knew it, anyway.
Denise reached out to cover my hand with hers. The simple comforting gesture opened the floodgates the rest of the way, and I finally let the tears flow.
“Oh, oh, honey,” Susan tutted. “I have tissues, hold on.”
She dug through her purse and slid one to me.
“I’m sorry.” Denise gave me a tight smile. “I didn’t mean to put you on the spot.”
I sniffled. “No, it’s fine. You need to know why he’s being more…Harrison than usual.”
They both laughed softly.
“He’s an incredible person,” I allowed him that tiny bit of grace, because it was true, if you weren’t in a relationship with him.
“But in the end, he couldn’t give me what I needed.
” I felt another tear roll down my cheek and quickly swiped it away.
“Anyway, it’s for the best, timing-wise.
Now I can focus all my energy on Ackland Strategic Communications. ”
Susan clasped her hands under her chin. “Oh! You have a name and everything.”
“I do,” I replied, eager to focus on anything but my former boss. “I have lots to tackle before I officially open for business, but I’m hopeful.”
A lie, but I didn’t want to dwell on how bleak I actually felt.
The waiter came to take our order. I hoped we could move on to chatting about the weather, or how delicious the bread was.
Denise glanced around the room, then hunched closer to me again. I braced myself.
“It’s not my place to say anything, so I apologize in advance. But I think it’s important that you know that you changed him for the better. We all saw it.”
We were still going there, to my dismay. I stared at the breadbasket because I knew if I looked at either of them, I’d fall apart again.
“Agreed,” Susan said. “His personality shift since you’ve been here has been like a vacation for all of us. We know he’s a good person, deep down, he’s just so single-minded about what he wants that sometimes there’s collateral damage.”
“But lately?” Denise picked up the thread. “He seemed reborn. And happy! Or, he was.”
I slumped down. “I’m sorry.”
“Stop,” Susan shook her head at me. “We’re not going to harass you for the gory details about what went wrong, but we know you wouldn’t have done anything that you’d have to apologize for.
Sometimes relationships just don’t work out.
We just wanted you to know that your presence at Ashford has been pure sunshine in so many ways. Thank you for that break from reality.”
“Trust me, Harrison will be fine,” I said with more bitterness in my voice than I’d intended. “I was a speed bump in his life and nothing more.”
“I disagree,” Denise said softly.
The waiter came back with a charcuterie board before the soft inquisition could continue, and I was relieved when we moved on to chatter about our stance on blue cheese.
It didn’t matter that we were derailed—they’d made their point. I didn’t believe I’d changed Harrison in any way, but if they wanted to give me some credit, fine.
I knew the truth. He hadn’t changed at all from the guy who left me behind in Aspen, and he never would.
My goal for my last day was to say my goodbyes, clean my office, and pack my stuff, then sneak out before running into Harrison. My mission was so close to accomplished, until I rounded the corner by the elevator bank and ran right into the one person I wanted to avoid.
I came to an abrupt stop, jostling the contents of the box I was clutching.
“You’re leaving,” he said, scanning me quickly.
I hated that his eyes on my body still made my heart rate kick up a notch.
“Looks that way,” I said as I shifted the box.
“Face is healing up nicely,” he jutted his chin toward me. “I can barely see it.”
“I guess.”
I’d managed to avoid him for days, but seeing Harrison again ripped off the scabs I’d grown, leaving me newly raw again. How was it possible that despite all the pain he’d caused me, my body still ached for him? It hurt to stand so close and not be able to fall into his arms.
Of course, Harrison was unmoved. He watched me with a steely expression, wearing his usual slight frown. The man had perfected his own version of RBF, only in his case it was “resting boss face.”
“Well, thank you for all of your hard work,” Harrison said. “You were an asset to the team.”
Detached. Unemotional, like I was just another employee heading off for greener pastures. Fine, then. If that was how he wanted it, then two could play that game.
“Thank you. I think the whole campaign worked out beautifully. Oh, and Ashford the dog was adopted last week, in case you didn’t hear.”
Of course, I assumed he’d checked out of the Scarlet Rush-o-sphere once his need for her was over.
“Yes, I’ve been in touch with her team about Ashford,” Harrison replied. “I wanted to make sure my namesake dog made it into the best home possible. They sent me a photo of him with his new family.”
I focused on the small succulent in the box to hide my surprise. “Oh good, I’m glad you’ve been in the loop.”
Since we were in corporate jargon land, I was tempted to mention “circling back” and “putting a pin in it.” Anything to keep the conversation from straying into more painful territory.
After all, there was nothing left to say.
We both knew Harrison couldn’t give me what I needed, which just happened to be the bare minimum of emotional support from a partner.
And honestly, it was better that I found out now, before I could bring myself to admit the word that kept reverberating in my head.
I almost laughed out loud. How could I ever have thought I was falling in love with Harrison Ashford?
“Did you settle on an office space?”
I sighed. “Harrison, don’t, okay? There’s no need to pretend at this point. Worry about your own business, not mine. Shouldn’t be too much of a stretch for you.”
He frowned harder. “Fine.”
I rearranged my face into my customer service expression. It was so fake it hurt to smile. “Anyway, many thanks for the opportunity, Mr. Ashford. I wish you the best of luck.”
He opened his mouth to say something then snapped it shut. He locked onto me, staring into my eyes, and I could tell he was working through what he wanted to get out. My stupid heart flip-flopped with hope, because the man was never at a loss for words.
Whatever he needed to admit. An apology? A plea for us to try again? It clearly wasn’t easy for him. Was there a chance he was finally willing to open up and tell me—
“I’m sure your business is going to do well,” he finally said. “Good luck to you, Gwen.”
I deflated. There would be no surprise happily ever after for me, I was really going to walk out the door and never see him again.
But it tracked. He’d shown me who he was, now I had to believe him.
The Jetliner Jackass flies again.