Chapter 4 Retrieving a Douche
Retrieving a Douche
The police station was a hive of activity and noise as Malachi had expected.
But the actual setting was boring compared to what the television shows he watched depicted.
The walls were greige, and the floor was worn yellow linoleum.
The lingering odor of old burnt coffee created a heavy miasma in the air, which at least lived up to expectations.
He didn’t hear a single typewriter, which wasn’t too surprising, but he did hear a lot of computer keyboard clicking and complaints about the wi-fi signal.
His attention was captured by a woman sitting on a bench, her thigh-high fishnets ripped, mascara flaking, and the hem of her short skirt showing exactly what she was advertising.
Tongue lolling out, he eagerly made his way towards her.
“Malachi,” Chuck warned quietly and tugged his leash, pulling him back to her side.
He grumbled in disgust at her for raining on his prostitute parade.
She squatted next to him and whispered, “Hey, look, I get it. You’re not the average dog, but we made a deal, and while we’re at work, you have to act like one.
When it’s just you and me, or we’re at home or the park, fine, act like yourself.
But not here. Got it?” She gave him a stern, expectant glare.
He huffed then nodded once before catching himself, so he panted and let out a soft woof instead.
“Good boy.” She smiled and scratched behind his ears.
He moaned in pleasure. Leaning into her, the moan became a louder rumble in his chest.
“Oh, you like that, do you?” she gushed and scratched harder, joy in her tone, until she was hailed from across the room.
“Chuck!” A large beefy man called, his booming voice echoing over the din. “Get your ass in here!” He pointed at his office, not looking terribly pleased.
Sighing, Chuck straightened and pulled on the leash. “C’mon, Mal, we gotta go meet the boss. Be on your best doggie behavior. We have to impress him, okay? No peeing on him, no humping anyone, and for the love, please, don’t roll your eyes, you little smart ass. Deal?”
Trying not to laugh, he gave a wheeze of understanding and heeled by her side. He was determined to impress the boss so he could stay with his Chuck. She may have adopted him on paper, but she belonged to him now.
“So, Officer Charles, let’s get this boy registered.
Office Raifson tells me his name is Noble and that he’s a bit defiant.
For this to work, we need a trainable animal, an agreeable one.
Now is not the time for a struggle.” The head of the K-9 unit, Lieutenant Jeffers, stared at her with disapproval.
Apparently, Jaxon had already notified him of her selection of a partner.
“Well, sir,” she spoke loudly to cover up Malachi’s low growl.
“There was a misunderstanding at the shelter. His name is actually Malachi. He doesn’t respond to Noble, but he’s very responsive and well-behaved when using his actual name.
I know he’ll learn quickly. He’s already shown an impressive response to commands and retrieval. ”
Lieutenant Jeffers tilted his head, and his expression relaxed into a smile.
“Jaxon told me the only thing the dog has accomplished is pissing on him. For that alone, I’m inclined to like the fella.
Well, let’s take a look at him.” He turned to the black dog watching him with silent consideration.
“Hmm, he definitely has the right build and look. Kinda surprising to find a Malinois at a shelter.” He finally grunted and patted his knee. “Come, Malachi.”
Malachi glanced at Chuck to check if this was something he should do. She gave a slight nod, so he trotted warily to the large man on the other side of the desk and promptly sat, waiting for the next command.
“Hmph,” Jeffers grunted, then tilted his head. “He looked to you first. That indicates there’s already a strong bond, which is incredible given you just got him today.” He leaned over, holding out a squeaky toy, and tossed it. “Malachi, retrieve.”
Looking once again to Chuck, who repeated, “Retrieve.” He hurried to get the toy, restraining his groan at the taste of slobber and plastic, before dropping it in her lap. “Thank you, Malachi, but please take this to Lieutenant Jeffers.”
Once again suppressing his internal groan, he picked it up gingerly and took the toy to the waiting officer. Passing it to him gently, he sat waiting for his next order.
Lieutenant Jeffers’ eyebrows rose so high that if he weren’t bald, they would have touched his hairline. “Now that’s impressive.” He pursed his lips in consideration, then his lips curled mischievously. “Malachi.” He pointed at Jaxon, who had just walked by. “Retrieve.”
This time, Malachi couldn’t help the smile that crept over his canine features and took off like a shot after Jaxon. He grabbed the man’s pant leg and growled, causing the officer to freeze and stare at him in alarm.
“Chuck!” Jaxon hollered in a slightly panicked tone. “Call your dog off!”
Others in the office gathered around to watch, amused at the stand-off between the ferocious-looking black dog and the cocky officer about to spill his coffee. Cheers erupted as the Malachi slowly began to pull an indignant Jaxon towards the lieutenant’s office.
“Chuck! Chuck!” Jaxon yelled, his agitation causing his voice to crack.
Smothering a laugh, she leaned in the doorway. “Sorry, Jax, I can’t call him off. Boss ordered him to retrieve you. He’s just following orders like a good officer. Might as well go along with it before he tears your uniform.”
Sighing in embarrassment, Jaxon gave in and allowed Malachi to drag him into the office.
That’s right, you punk-ass bitch, get in here. I’m retrieving you, Malachi chuckled. He stopped in front of the lieutenant and eyed him in question without letting go of his prey’s leg, waiting for his next order.
“Good boy, now release!” the laughing man told him, shaking his head.
“Well, Officer Charles, I’d say you’ve got yourself a mighty fine partner there.
I have a feeling he’ll breeze through training.
This will be great for our social media and community feel-good presence.
You two are going to be the poster children of rising to meet a challenge.
” He glanced down at the dog, who was now surreptitiously peeing on Jaxon’s leg.
His chest bounced hard as he roared in laughter.
Malachi huffed out his own doggie laugh. He’d been able to piss on the man again without him noticing. He glanced at Chuck, who was also trying to cover up a laugh. She winked at him, and he flushed all over, warm and excited by her approval.
Jaxon, however, was less than enthusiastic. “Jesus Christ, Chuck! Your dog is a lunatic!” he yelled as he jumped back from the puddle forming around him.
Invoking that name almost made Malachi vomit, then he decided, why not, and promptly barfed on Jaxon’s shoe. He woofed with pride, noticing the splash had neatly fallen in the shape of the Sixth Ward of Demonic Legion’s seal.
“Fuck! Chuck! Seriously?” Jaxon was shaking his shoe, nearly purple with rage now.
Chuck’s laughter was drowned out by that of the other officers who’d gathered to watch the spectacle.
The lieutenant let out his own booming laugh. “Officer Raifson, it would appear you’ve offended Officer Malachi. I think you should consider apologizing.” He shook his head in mirth.
“Apologize?” Jaxon sputtered incredulously, eyes wide. “To a dog?”
Malachi snarled ominously and lifted his lips, showing his impressive fangs.
Jaxon reeled back, almost stumbling over his feet. “Okay, I’m sorry. Let’s start over, buddy. Huh? What do you say, Malachi, right? Can we be friends? I’m sorry I made fun of you.”
That’s right, you lame, whiny bitch. I own you, Malachi woofed and bared his teeth. Sitting, he lifted his paw.
The officer leaned down warily and took the offered paw, giving a gentle, tentative shake. He meekly replied, “Good boy.”
Malachi leaned towards him. When I figure out how to get back into my other forms, I’m going to eat your soul.
Jaxon blinked, as if confused. Straightening, he stared at Malachi with a slow horror dawning across his face, contorting his expression into a comical battle between his true feelings and the need to keep up a brave appearance for his peers.
He cleared his throat. “I’ve got some reports to finish, I’ll uh…
” he stared at the dog in front of him. “I’ll catch you later, Chuck.
” He hurried out of the office, laughter trailing after his obvious retreat.
Chuck watched Malachi with quiet consideration while Jeffers finished up the forms. She stared at him, sizing him up, then a soft smile crept over her lips. “Good job, Mal,” she whispered.
He winked at her and lay his head on her lap while the lieutenant gave instructions on the training program.