Chapter Nineteen
The Captains rounded up the cattle in the south pasture in record time, leaving Zero at loose ends. The MacGregors really should have included a notice with his purchase about how boring it was to manage three cows and a bull.
Good news: losing Will Turner and Elizabeth Swann to Sheridan and Hunter hadn’t mattered at all, since the Captains could handle the ranch workload.
Bad news: whenever Zero had downtime, he always took one step toward the barn before he realized Delilah wasn’t in it.
There was no training session check-in for him to use as an excuse to see her.
For the best, he reminded himself. They’d never have worked out. Of course, he’d had a moment back at Miller’s, when he’d almost blurted out that he wanted her to come back to the ranch for him. Not the job.
But he didn’t. He couldn’t. She had another life that didn’t include him.
A doctorate waiting for her, which would open up doors for her, according to what he’d read online about why someone would get an art history doctorate.
They’d never been serious, a factor he’d made sure to throw down in front of them as many times as it took to ensure they both remembered.
He was the one who’d forgotten. Not Delilah. He had nothing to offer her.
It didn’t matter. She was gone or would be soon. It was past time to move on. His new mantra.
As he turned to shut the gate behind the last cow, a breeze blew through the pasture, ruffling a carpet of yellow wildflowers in a corner the cattle had missed. Man, he loved this place. There was a quiet beauty he appreciated, plus he felt his grandpa’s spirit everywhere.
The Flying Pig was still a work in progress, and he still couldn’t quite think of himself as a rancher.
He got a bit further every day by putting one foot in front of the other.
Some days, he wished he could get a little more excited about it, like the way he’d gotten excited about seeing the dogs react to commands and the thrill of discovering how well Delilah had gotten Hunter acclimated to Elizabeth Swann.
Then there was next-level excitement, such as how enthusiastic he’d gotten about kissing Delilah and how much he yearned to be that alive again.
Being a rancher should make him feel like that. This was his dream. Or rather it was his grandpa’s dream, and that was practically the same thing.
He threw the Captains treats, some new special ones Sheridan had made after discovering Will Turner liked peanut butter. She and Hunter took to baking yesterday afternoon, elated with the idea of taking care of their dogs.
Their dogs. Who would have seen that coming?
When Zero got back to the main house after shutting up the cattle in their pen for the night, a silver hatchback sat in the circular drive. Delilah leaned up against the door. Clearly waiting for him.
Speaking of not seeing things coming…
She met his gaze, her expression unreadable. “Hi.”
“I, um…” he called, and his throat closed as he soaked in her beautiful face, completely unprepared for the gut shot at seeing her again. He almost choked on an unexpected, nervous laugh. “Hey.”
At least his voice still worked. This was the part where he should ask her how she was doing.
Where she was staying. If she’d found her key fob or gotten a new one made.
Whether she’d be working at Miller’s tomorrow because he might need a backup bag of grain feed, and he’d rather come in when she was there.
But he didn’t say any of that. Or the ten thousand other things on his mind, mostly because he shouldn’t be trying to prolong the misery of seeing her in bits and pieces like this.
He stuck his hands in his pocket. “What are you doing here?”
Like always, she didn’t flinch at his grumpiness. She gave him a tiny smile instead, which just made him wish for a real one. Also something he wouldn’t say out loud, not anymore.
“You must be Mr. Renshaw,” she said and held out her hand to shake as if meeting him for the first time. “I’m Delilah Kersey. I heard you had a job opening for a dog trainer, and I’m here to apply.”
Dumbfounded, he stared at her hand, then back up at her face until it finally dawned.
She was starting over from the beginning. It meant something momentous. He could feel it. His heart lightened all at once, and it was only then he realized how truly heavy it had been.
“You are?” Before he could remind himself of all the reasons he shouldn’t, he indulged himself and reached out to grasp her hand, fully expecting the contact to sing up his arm. He wasn’t disappointed. “What are your credentials?”
That teased out the real smile he’d been angling for as she registered he’d likewise elected to play along with this reintroduction.
Why wouldn’t he? He still needed someone to finish training Will Turner and Elizabeth Swann to be emotional support dogs for his family.
No reason not to hire her back. As his employee. Only.
Anything else would be too much to hope for. Which didn’t stop his greedy insides from begging him to use this handshake as an excuse to pull her closer.
He didn’t, releasing her before he could make a huge mistake.
Delilah leaned in like she missed the feel of his hand in hers as much as he did.
“If I can be completely honest with you, I have a little bit of experience training dogs, but my last employer won’t act as a reference.
I’m afraid I screwed up everything. So, if you hire me, it’ll have to be on a trial basis. ”
“Hmm.” He crossed his arms, mostly to hide the fact he didn’t know what to do with them. “I’ve never hired anyone on a trial basis. Does that mean I’d be expected to monitor your training sessions, just to be sure you’re on track?”
She nodded fiercely. “Oh, definitely. Every day. I have a training schedule I can submit to you as well.”
That knocked him back a step as he internalized this wasn’t only the job application she’d presented it as. She was here to do things differently this time. “You have a training schedule, Ms. Kersey? This I have to see.”
“It’s on a spreadsheet.”
Her smile gained a hint of mischief, and everything inside woke up. What else could this rush in his heart be called but the opposite of asleep, which was how he’d felt ever since she’d left?
And here she was, back again. Doing things differently. Was this his chance to do things differently as well?
“What’s on this spreadsheet?” He schooled his expression in case an errant smile tried to leak through, which wouldn’t do at all. “An agenda? A calendar?”
“All of the above. But I feel compelled to inform you that I have a recurring item near the end of the day entitled ‘kiss my boss.’ This would be the right time to let me know if you disapprove of dating your employees.”
This was so much more than a reintroduction.
She was asking if the door would be open to more than dog training.
To starting back up where they’d left off.
His heart insisted the answer was yes. But his brain refused to so easily jump back on the Delilah train, reminding him at the end of the day he still had no right to seek his own happily ever after when no one else he loved had gotten one. Why should he be allowed to?
“Delilah—”
She held up her hand. “I know.” Then she shut her eyes for a beat, and when she opened them, all of the pretense had dropped.
“I owe you an apology first. I’m so, so sorry everything unfolded the way that it did.
I’ve spent the last few days wishing I could just start all over again. Impossible, I know. But I had to try.”
“It was a good try,” he admitted gruffly, tightening the hard cross of his arms over his chest, which had started aching. “I wish you’d told me from the beginning what you had planned with the dogs’ training. I lost a lot of sleep over how that was going to play out.”
Delilah’s expression cratered, and her eyes filled, which thoroughly gutted him.
“I know,” she whispered. “You’d given me something special before I’d earned it.
A chance to be a dog trainer. That’s why I’m here, hoping you’ll give me another chance, despite my lack of credentials to do the job I’m applying for.
I’m willing to do what it takes this time.
Submit schedules. Watch the clock. Anything that gets me closer to what makes me happy. ”
“What would make you happy?” he asked, his voice thready and unstable as he asked the million-dollar question he shouldn’t be asking but couldn’t seem to stop himself.
He was desperate all at once to hear the answer.
Because he knew what she was going to say.
Could read it in her gaze, feel it arcing through the space between them.
“You,” she said with a watery smile. “You, dogs, this ranch, a family. All of it. I want to see what normal looks like. We can wing it for a while longer, if that makes it easier. See how it goes. Put our relationship on a trial basis. Let me audition for the role of someone you could fall for.”
Too late.
He’d already fallen for her. That realization nearly blasted apart his reservations on its own because, of course, he wanted to give her another chance. There was no one else who could ever be right for that role other than Delilah Kersey.
“What if I don’t want to wing it?” he heard himself ask.
Zero’s heart turned over and started beating again, same as it always did, but it felt different. He felt different. Better. As if all that had been wrong in his world had suddenly righted itself.
Delilah’s expression faltered. “I know it’s too soon and you’re still focused on the ranch. Your family. I don’t want to get in the way.”
“You misunderstood.” Thoroughly unable to stay away from her now that his heart had started to hope, he reached out and snagged her hand, threading his fingers through hers, marveling at how she still affected him with just this little bit of contact.
“I don’t want to wing it because we both deserve more.
I want to give that to you, but I need you to want it, too. ”