37. Nick
CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN
NICK
The day crawls along like a sloth on a branch, and I feel like I’m bursting out of my own skin, not unlike shifting, honestly.
We set some ground rules for tonight before I left her home. No pain, first and foremost. If she says ‘breadstick’, I stop everything and check in with her. And it’s my job to send her a map pin of where we’re going to meet when it’s time.
After those were set—and more than a few kisses—Izzy kicked me out for the night. She said it was so we could build up the anticipation for tonight, and I’m sure she was right.
But, fuck, I hate this.
I haven’t gotten to touch her since dessert the previous night. Haven’t gotten to taste her since the night before that.
I ache for her.
Instead of being with my mate, I’m posting a job listing on the Tea Leaves job board for a few recent graduates to take under my wing in an apprenticeship.
If I’m going to manage the amount of shit that needs managing in this town, I can’t do it all on my own anymore.
It sucks that it took me finding my mate to realize I was working myself to the bone, but now that she’s here, I refuse to continue.
“You know I’ve been telling you to hire help for the last two years, right?” Georgie says from behind the counter. Her hair flicks behind her like flame.
I sigh, placing the last tack. “Yes, Georgie. I’m aware.”
“And suddenly Isabella comes to town, and you change your entire life.”
“Uh-huh.”
“I owe her free tea for life.”
I smile to myself. I’m glad they have each other. “Probably. But as her mate, can I get free tea, too?”
I turn to Georgie’s excited face—eyes wide, mouth hanging open. She practically squeals with glee. “You finally told her?”
“No. I didn’t.” Guilt gnaws at my chest again. “I want her to get through a full moon first. She should decide if she wants this kind of life without the pressure of being my mate hanging over her head.”
Georgie’s long manicured nails rest on her hip as she stares at me. “And you not telling her has absolutely nothing to do with you being scared she’ll get freaked out and run back home to Seattle?”
Georgie has a particularly good ability to see straight through my bullshit and call me on it. I both hate it and appreciate it.
“Don’t you have customers?” I look around and see she very much does not. She’s in that strange lull of time right after lunch and right before kids get out of school.
She huffs. “I get that I’m on your ass about this, but she deserves to know. And you keeping this from her isn’t the right way to start a relationship.”
“You’re right—you are on my ass.” And she’s right about Izzy, but I won’t give her the satisfaction of hearing that from me. “But I hear you.”
A nod is my only reply. Georgie doesn’t do sentimental, at least not with me.
“Do you need anything done at the house?” I ask quietly. Her dad’s health is declining rapidly.
She shakes her head, still not saying anything as she wipes the counters down. Her eyebrows pull together, but that’s the only sign of emotion on her otherwise stony face. I know when to stop pushing her, and right now is that moment.
I bid her goodbye and walk back into the fall sunshine. The weather keeps getting colder and colder, and I bundle my light jacket around my shoulders to keep the breeze at bay.
My head swirls around Izzy as it always does now. How is she staying warm? Is she inside making calls, or enjoying the sunshine while visiting vendors?
I rub my eyes. After my conversation with Georgie, my guilt won’t leave me alone.
Will Izzy be angry that I’ve kept this from her?
Will it scare her? Will she hate feeling bound to someone she still hasn’t known for that long?
Will she understand that even though she’s my mate, I wouldn’t force her to stay with me?
She has a choice, even if it would break me into pieces if she didn’t choose me.
Maybe Georgie is right. Perhaps I’m not keeping this to myself to protect her—maybe I’m doing it because I’m a scared motherfucker who doesn’t want to get left behind again.
The thought stops me in my tracks, right on the sidewalk in front of the bookstore.
My parents didn’t leave me behind on purpose. Logically, I know that. But my older brother? He did.
I think I’ve spent this entire time feeling left behind by all three of them.
Dane told me once I should see a grief specialist or a therapist—even recommended one he was seeing—but I shrugged him off. Saw it as a failure on my part if I couldn’t figure it out alone. Maybe he’s right.
Maybe they’re all right.
With that epiphany, I restart my walk. I have a few things to do before tonight, and I want everything to be perfect for my first chase with Izzy. I’ll have a conversation with Dane soon, though.
Look at me, hiring apprentices and thinking about going to therapy. It’s like I’m a whole new werewolf.
And all it took was the love of my life walking into town.