Chapter 24
Gracie
“I’m sorry, sir, we won’t be stopping until we reach the capital.” The woman’s voice was firm but kind. “The best we can do is a medical kit.”
“A medical kit should be fine,” I said. Ravik didn’t look convinced, though, and I could feel Basir’s guilt, as if he somehow should have predicted this. In my mind, being unable to stop was a good thing—I wasn’t really in the best condition to be moving around.
The woman offered me a thankful look before leaving our cabin. It was clearly some type of first class cabin, featuring a bathroom and a bedroom, as well as a lounging and dining area. Apparently this long train ride was something of a destination trip for people traveling between territories.
“Ridiculous,” Thornar murmured. “What would one stop hurt?”
I smiled up at him. He sat next to me on the couch, his massive frame warm against my side.
He’d managed to wipe the blood from his face during our drive, but the minute we’d gotten on the train he’d showered.
The others had as well. I’d changed clothes, but I didn’t trust myself to stand upright just yet. My body was a bit shaky.
“I really do feel okay,” I promised, looking directly at Basir. “My body hurts, but it’s probably from the impact.” I stopped myself from saying that I’d been through worse.
Basir ran a hand through his hair, still pacing. “We have to teach you how to drive.”
I nodded, giving him an understanding look. I knew he needed a solution right now.
“We should start traveling with a healer,” Ravik said, his gaze on me. “Are you positive you don’t want to stop? We can make them—”
“No.” I leaned forward to grab his hand. “I really just want to rest.”
Both my body and my brain. Also my heart.
I thought coming to terms with killing a man would have been harder.
But like the man Basir had killed in the Blazefur Pride territory, my mind had already found its way to a justification.
I had been protecting myself. It was true, and it went a long way to appease my guilt.
Although I couldn’t help but wonder who wouldn’t have someone coming home tonight.
The car ride to the train station had been quiet, but as my adrenaline faded, my body started processing what had happened. I began to feel everything, including an overwhelming sensation of sadness and guilt.
They had chosen to attack us, those members of the Grimfur Skulk military.
But at the end of the day, they were still following someone else’s orders.
Couldn’t the same be said about the soldiers that accompanied us, some of whom wouldn’t be going home to their families?
Probably. Or maybe they didn’t think about it.
Maybe they didn’t care. And then there were the ones who hadn’t chosen any of this.
Pulled from the streets and thrown into a war that was never theirs to begin with.
My head pulsed in confusion as I tried to sort through all of it.
I wasn’t sure what to think anymore, and that hurt my heart more than anything.
In the Cold Moon Pack, it was easy to see in black and white, the extremes of power simple to understand. But now? Not so much. Sure, the soldiers who followed orders were doing so to survive, but what of the obligation not to kill people? Did that matter in war? I was learning that it may not.
“You have a bruise,” Thornar pointed out, gently tilting my chin and examining my forehead. I hadn’t looked at myself in a mirror, but I knew my body was roughened up—I could feel it. I just didn’t care right now. I was relieved to be inside a contained and safe train car.
“Could have been worse,” I admitted. From the corner of my eye I noticed Ravik stand to go talk to Basir, whose tense form still paced the cabin.
Thornar’s gaze moved over my expression. “It could have been, but you didn’t let that happen, little flame. You took care of the problem. You kept yourself safe.”
Pride flooded through our bond, and unexpected tears filled my eyes. Thornar was right.
I rested my hand on his chest as I spoke softly. “I didn’t think about it; I just acted. It feels wrong to not feel more guilt, but everything is so much more complicated when it comes to all of this.”
Thornar was quiet for a moment. “Both sides believe they’re right.
That’s the nature of it.” His thumb traced along my jaw.
“My morality isn’t the purest, little flame—that was never a secret.
I kill, and there are times I enjoy it. And when it’s someone who’s hurt people who couldn’t protect themselves?
” Something dark settled in his expression. “I don’t lose sleep over that.”
I didn’t find that frightening. Should that worry me?
“That makes sense,” I said, thinking of how he’d moved today—without holding back.
“Did I scare you today?”
“Scare me? Not exactly. I was overwhelmed by the situation because it reminded me a lot of my time in the Cold Moon Pack. But I was taken off guard by what you were feeling. The scale of it.”
“I won’t feel guilt for protecting what’s mine,” he said, his hand moving to rest against my face. “And neither should you.”
“It doesn’t scare me, the lengths you’ll go to protect the people you care about,” I told him honestly. “It makes me feel safe.”
Relief filled Thornar’s expression before he dipped his head and pressed a slow kiss to my lips. His voice was rough as he pulled back. “I don’t just care about you, little flame. What I feel for you is much larger than that.”
My throat caught as I stared up at him, feeling my cheeks heat, unable to help the joy rising in my chest. “Larger than caring about me?”
“I love you, Gracie.” He said it so simply, and my heart felt like it was beating in my ears. Before I could say a word, tell him how I felt back, he dipped his head and kissed me once more. I clung to him as he finally pulled back.
“I love you too.” My voice was a whisper between us. I loved him. Thornar loved me. It was that simple and that overwhelming.
“I told you I’d have to marry you if you keep looking at me like that.”
Thornar’s reminder of the first night I met him pulled a smile from me. Snuggling closer to him, I let out a deep exhale.
“It’s confirmed,” Ravik said, coming to sit down as Basir set a plate of sandwiches between us. “Alpha Kaliyah’s soldiers followed the footprints back to their trucks. The Blazefur Pride logo is stamped all over it. It wasn’t just a rogue lion shifter.”
The words sat for a long minute before I spoke.
“So Alpha Chace is not a friend.”
“Absolutely not.” Basir’s words were final.
“So Nightstar Flight, Bloodrose Sloth, and Scarlet Sloth are all allies,” Ravik further explained. “Obviously, the Cold Moon Pack, Blazefur Pride, and Grimfur Skulk are not.”
“And Stark Flight has by far the most citizens.” I understood now why we needed them. The territories would be evenly split if they joined Ivan.
We needed that fifth territory on our side.
It was a few hours later, dinner having come and gone, that I found myself curled up next to Ravik as he read through something on his tablet.
I had explored every inch of the cabin, taken a nap, and a long shower once I felt up to it.
We wouldn’t arrive until early morning so I hoped to get more sleep, but until then I was unsure what to do with myself.
Thornar was already knocked out on the bed, stretched out and extremely relaxed, and Basir was sitting near one of the windows watching the dark landscape go by.
“What are you thinking about?” Ravik’s voice was relaxed and curious.
“About what to do,” I admitted, peeking over his tablet. “What are you doing?”
“Honestly?” he mused. “Thinking about where we could go if shit goes south in Thornfell.”
My brows went up before I frowned. “I don’t want to leave.”
Ravik nodded and inhaled. “Neither do I, lux mea. Sometimes it’s the best option, though, especially if it means keeping you safe.”
Tilting my head, I looked at the map on his screen, trying to give the idea space to breathe.“Where would you want to go?” I barely knew what was across the country, let alone the seas.
“Possibly Florwyn—it’s right across the Eastern Sea—and the fact that it’s made up of so many smaller countries instead of one centralized power would make it easier to hide.
” Ravik’s thought process made sense as he hovered over the spot on the map.
“It also has a range of climates and probably the largest diversity of shifter types.” He tilted his head.
“Unfortunately there are other types of magic there—ones I don’t have as much experience with. ”
“Other types?” I asked curiously.
“Forest gods and spirits,” he explained. “The ones that existed before The Eight. Most pixies and fairies come from one of their lineages.”
Pixies and fairies? Much like merfolk, I’d heard of them, but Thornfell was so saturated with shifters that I’d yet to actually experience anything else.
“Have you ever met a pixie or fairy?”
“Unfortunately,” Ravik muttered. “We went over there to talk with one of the clan leaders and had to deal with an ambassador that was a fairy. He was an asshole.”
I snorted with laughter, which pulled a small smile from Ravik before he continued. “Still one of the better options. There are only two others I would seriously consider.”
“Which?” I asked, looking over the map.
“Goldmere or Eldwyn. The first has a dense rainforest we could get lost in and allies we have specifically sought out, but it’s complicated by their politics.”
“They have poor leadership?”
“No…” Ravik considered my question before answering, “The rainforest is a living entity and has a say in everything. There are also flora-species—imagine a person or creature made entirely of plants, with a deep connection that allows them to speak for the forest.”
Oh. That was a lot to imagine and genuinely fascinating.
“And Eldwyn?” I asked.
“Peaceful but with a strict hierarchy that is essentially unbreakable. Less breathing room for negotiating our stay, especially considering our own power,” he said. “Dragon shifters are the dominant species but there are other, far older, powers at play.”
“I would love to eventually see all three of these places,” I said. Despite not wanting to leave Thornfell, I couldn’t deny the picture he painted had my curiosity piqued.
“We will, lux mea.” He zoomed out on the map. “Any others catch your eye?”
For the next hour I peppered Ravik with questions about the other continents—Coralis, Pyraen, and Skarhold.
I listened to every piece of information, even the parts that were hard to wrap my head around.
Hope and excitement stirred in my chest with every word.
I wanted to see it all. Coralis and its merfolk, Pyraen and its storm elementals, even Skarhold and the deep sea shifters that lived there.
When it was finally time to go to bed and I crawled into the soft sheets next to Thornar, I was more determined than ever to get Alpha Waylon on our side.
To make all of those dreams come true, Ivan had to be handled.
I couldn’t be free until he was gone.