Chapter 18
MIt’s Friday morning, and it’s the big day.
My date with Lana.
If I were to describe myself, it would go like this: controlled, dangerous, and calculated. Almost nothing can get a rise out of me or get me to freak out. Those characteristics are detrimental to a man with a profession like mine.
Today is different, though. I’m scared shitless.
From what I have seen of Lana, she lives a meek life, and I want to make a change in that. God, she deserves everything handed to her.
Flowers? I’ll drive to the Netherlands and cut all the tulips myself.
Food? I’m going to take a cooking course so I can cook for her every day.
Every-fucking-thing I would do for her.
That’s precisely the reason why I’m scared for today.
All my bravado from a couple of days ago has evaporated.
When I told her I would pick her up today at 7 p.m., I didn’t leave her much of a choice.
My knowledge of killing people is extensive, but asking a woman out?
Yeah, I don’t know anything about that shit.
I haven’t been on a date, well, ever. In the past, I had many one-night stands, but nothing came of them, and the reason was that I couldn’t commit. I want to say it’s because of my job, but it stems from a fear of what my father did to my mom.
That’s a story for another day, and something I don’t share with people.
Tonight, I have arranged for Lana and me to have dinner at the most expensive and beautiful restaurant in Sarajevo. I know the owner, and he agreed to give us his best table.
Even though I have prepared the logistics, I haven’t prepared emotionally. That’s why I need advice, and I know where to get it.
I dial my best friend.
“M! Where have you been? I miss you!” Alina screams through the phone.
“I missed you, too, Ali. And I’m good, you?”
“Good, good. Irfan and I are chilling at home today. We took a day off from work.”
“As you should. How is my friend?” Irfan is Alina’s boyfriend, and the best guy for my best friend. He is one of the good ones.
“He is amazing.”
“I miss you all. How is your pregnancy? Is everything going well?” I ask her. Alina found out a couple of months ago that she is pregnant with Irfan’s baby, and I couldn’t be happier for them.
“The baby is growing, thank you for asking, bro,” Alina jokes.
I grin because she is not wrong about my treating her like a brother.
From when we were very little children, I have looked out for her, Irfan, and my other friends in Belgium.
We all met in Sarajevo when we were children, and we have remained very close friends.
Because we were such close friends and I didn’t want to be separated from them, I begged my dad to go to high school in Antwerp, Belgium. He was against the idea because he didn’t want me to give up my training, but I had a trump card.
My incredible mother.
Mama somehow convinced him to let me go to Belgium and to finish high school there, under one condition. I had to stay with some of his associates so I wouldn’t lose sight of what’s important, becoming a killer, and stay on track for physical and psychological training. Of course, I took it.
And so I went to Belgium so I could be closer to my friends. While I knew I wasn’t like other kids, or people in general for that matter, I needed some semblance of normalcy in my childhood.
I went to the same high school as Alina and Armin, her older brother, and I witnessed firsthand how cruel some kids could be. And one of them made a crucial mistake: a boy tried to bully Alina into dating him.
I saw fucking red, and that’s where my intense hatred for awful men began.
Armin and I told the guy to leave her alone, and he promised he would, but he didn’t get the memo.
One day, the guy cornered Alina in the school hallway between classes, and they were alone, or he thought they were alone.
Considering that I was being trained in psychological cues, I knew that the guy wasn’t right.
To make this sweet story short, I stopped the guy, followed him home, and cornered him on the street when no one was watching.
I beat the shit out of him and told him that his parents were next if he didn’t leave Alina alone.
The day I told Alina and my other friends what I did was the day they learned where I came from and what I was destined to become.
They didn’t judge me and told me that they cared for me. It was also the day I saw Irfan watching Alina like a hawk, and I fucking knew that he was a goner for her. From that day on, I started rooting for them.
Alina also asked me to teach her self-defense, and I did.
That’s why I’m so close to my friends, and Alina in particular, because she was the first woman I protected and succeeded in doing so.
“You’re good, sestro1. I’m actually calling for something else as well.” I huff, and Alina picks up on that.
“M, you are scaring me. What is it?”
“I’m going on a date tonight.” For a couple of seconds, there is silence, and then Alina suddenly FaceTimes me. I accept it.
“You are going on a date?” I nod. Alina’s face lights up like I told her that I was getting married. Which will happen eventually with Lana, but I digress.
“Oh my God, wait! Irfan, get over here, M is going on a date!” I fucking knew that she would call reinforcements. Irfan appears, sporting a smug look.
“M—” He stops himself because he almost used my real name. “M is going on a date. I never thought I would see this day come. Maybe we should get Elma on this call as well.” Maybe I shouldn’t be this close to these people. Elma is Alina’s sister-in-law, but they are more like real sisters.
“Don’t do that, Irfan. Elma would listen to him, but she would also tell him to shave his balls or something like that.” That sounds like Elma. Loyal to a fault, with the mouth of a sailor.
“Fine, I won’t. I’m serious, though, you are actually going on a date?” I scrunch my eyebrows.
“Am I not pretty enough for a woman to agree to a date with me?” Not that Lana agreed per se, but that’s beside the point. Alina swats Irfan’s arm playfully.
“What Irfan means is that we know that we have never seen you this nervous over a woman.”
“That’s true. Fucking hell, this woman is not leaving my mind.”
“Is it Lana?” My friends know about Lana and that she is it for me. I nod.
“Good, she is absolutely gorgeous. Tell me, why are you nervous?”
“Because I have never been on a date and I need to know how to behave.” Alina coos as if the situation is adorable.
“Ali, please. I need genuine advice,” I tell her seriously, and she stops herself.
“M, during a date, you need to show that you are interested in her.”
“I am.”
“I know that, but that’s not what I mean. You need to get to know her as a person. Likes, dislikes, where did she go to school, favorite TV shows, food, and all that jazz.”
“But I know what she likes, I watch her from the cameras I installed in her apartment,” I say matter-of-factly, and sometimes I forget that this isn’t all that normal to my friends. Alina’s eyes widen, but she recovers quickly.
“Not like that, M. What’s on paper and the person before you are two separate things.” That’s a unique concept.
“Understood. When she asks me questions, do I need to be honest about myself?”
“Be honest, but you don’t need to reveal the stuff that you are not comfortable with. You’ll do well, M.” That’s the reason I called Alina, she listens to me and gives me great advice.
“Where are you guys going?” Irfan asks as he is massaging Alina’s shoulders.
“To Vrata Ljubav2.” Irfan whistles in approval.
“Fancy. I’m happy for you, man.”
“Thank you, brother.” Before I can proceed, Alina speaks up.
“Did you send her flowers beforehand?” Her question is almost accusatory.
“Fuck, did I need to do that?”
“You don’t need to, but it’s nice. Did you send her anything?” Alina seems angry, and from the tone of her voice, she has a reason to.
“M, you brilliant man, if you really want to win her over, send her something.”
“I could do that. Maybe I could send her a dress for tonight's date, along with some flowers and chocolate? She actually does need a dress, fuck, I didn’t even think about it.”
“That’s really sweet. I’m impressed. How do you know that she needs a dress?”
“I was in her apartment after I killed the guy who couldn’t take no for an answer.” Alina’s and Irfan’s lips are now a thin line, and with their eyebrows raised, they are nodding slowly.
“Of course you did. We have to go, M,” Alina tells me.
“Thank you for the advice, you two. We’ll see each other hopefully soon.”
“We will, take care, brother,” Irfan says, and they hang up.
Now I’m more at ease, and the first thing I do is call up Sara.
“What do you need?” Right to the point as she always is.
“You love expensive shit and great dresses, right?”
“Yeah, why?” Sara grew up in extreme wealth and always loved dressing classy and has an expensive taste.
“I need you to get me an elegant dress, suited for Vrata Ljubav, size S.”
“Done. Is this for Lana?”
“Yes.”
“I know what to get her. When would you need it?”
“It needs to be delivered to her by tonight, say around 5 p.m.?” I hear Sara taking a piece of paper and scribbling something down.
“Done and done. Flowers and chocolate?”
“Of course. Thank you, Sara. I owe you one.”
“No, you don’t. Good luck on your date tonight!” And she hangs up.
Lana is changing something inside of me, and I’m not sure how she does it. And for the first time in life, I don’t mind it.
Time to train, and then I’m cleaning myself up for my date with Lana.
1. "Sister" in the Bosnian language. It can also be used to describe a close female friend or family member.
2. "Door of Love" in the Bosnian Language.