20. Sorrel
SORREL
The sound of the dogs barking outside my cabin tell me Denton must be back from town. I’m so anxious to find out how the emergency band meeting went. I took the day off from ranch work but tried to stay busy while my mind raced with thoughts about me and Denton.
I cleaned the cabin and made us lunch to have outside on the porch in our usual spot. Walking out the front door, I feel my eyes crease from smiling—excited to jump into Denton's arms. But when he gets out of the truck, he has an uneasy look on his handsome face and my smile falters.
“Everything okay?” I ask from the top step—changing my mind about jumping into his arms.
He gives me a sheepish smile. “Oh yeah, everything's fine. What's that smell? Is that lunch? I’m starving,” he says, changing the subject.
“Yeah, go ahead and sit down. I’ll bring it out.”
I made us green chili enchiladas. It’s really the only thing I know how to make that turns out good every time. It’s Charli’s recipe. Being from Texas, she makes the best Tex-Mex food—something we’re desperately lacking in Montana.
I bring out two plates and forks, sit down next to Denton and hand him his plate. Dash is already at our feet begging.
Something is off and I’m no longer hungry but I do my best to eat anyway.
When we’re both finished, I take our plates inside. Instead of leaving them in the sink, I set them on the floor to let Dash polish them off. I lean over the sink and let out a raspberry.
Marching back outside, I burst through the screen door. “Please tell me what’s going on before I lose my damned mind, Denton.”
“Come sit. It’s kind of a lot.”
I cross my arms, staying put. “No, I think I’d rather stand,” I say.
I’d rather have my head held high and not be close to him when he tells me that he’s leaving.
“Okay...it’s about the tour,” he says, stammering.
I already know I’m not going to like what he tells me next.
“So, we’re going. We signed the contracts electronically and we’re now obligated to a year-long, nationwide tour.”
“Awesome. So happy for you.” I spit out and turn on my heel to go back inside, but before I can, he jumps up and grabs my arm. “Sorrel, wait—”
“Let go, Denton,” I say, looking down at my arm.
With sad eyes, he looks down at it too. “I’m sorry, Sorrel. Just please don’t go before I’m finished giving you all the details.”
I put my head up against the wall and hold myself, feeling my heart already breaking.
My voice hardens. “Fine, go on.”
“I made a stipulation that they have to book us venues near any pro rodeos. We can travel together and both be on the road at the same time. Even if you only come for the summer. We would still be able to see each other and make this work.”
He’s planning his tour around pro rodeos, for me?
My heart stops and my mind is spinning.
“What are you even talking about, Denton? This isn’t anything,” I say, motioning between the two of us.
“C’mon now, Sorrel, you know that ain’t true.”
Is he really rearranging his whole tour just because of me? Does he really want us to be more? Something serious? My mind reels, taking it all in.
I want to believe him, but after everything with Huck…after all the lies and betrayal, trusting someone feels impossible.
I take off running toward the arena. I need to get away, to breathe, to think and be alone. I grab one of the saddled horses and jump on, taking off into a full run. When I turn around, he’s standing there behind me with a look of hurt in his eyes as I take off leaving him in my dust.
I ride fast and hard, passing a few hands moving some cattle, not paying them any attention.
Out of nowhere Sutton is on my tail.
“What the hell are you doing, Sorrel? Don’t tell me you’re running away from that boy already.”
“Mind your business!” I yell back at her.
I’m tired of my nosy older sister. She doesn't understand. She doesn't know what I’ve been through.
She’s on my flank now, damnit. Her horse Athena is faster than the old bay gelding I’m on.
“Just slow down, Sorrel. You’re gonna give old grumps there a heart attack. He hasn’t been ridden that hard in years.”
I feel bad now. I should have made a better selection, but I picked the first horse I saw tied up. These horses are used for lessons or easy ranch work nowadays. I pull back on the reins slowing down to a smooth lope.
“Fine. Happy?”
“No, I still don’t know what’s going on with you.”
We circle each other in the small clearing.
I look around at the wildflowers sprouting—butterflies flutter in and out of the tall grass.
I stop my horse and jump off, plopping down to the ground.
Running my hands through the soft grass, I close my eyes and lift my face to the sun as my horse begins to graze—still holding the reins so he can’t get too far away.
I lower my head to my knees and start crying. Sutton’s off her horse now and she gently sits down next to me. Athena tries to graze but Sutton pulls her head up so she can't.
“Just let her graze,” I say, sniffling.
“No, this is my good bit. I don't want her eating with it in her mouth.”
Athena isn’t giving up though, she’s as stubborn as her owner. Sighing, Sutton lets her eat the grass she so desperately wants.
“So, tell me what’s going on.”
“It’s Denton, as you already guessed.”
“Well, what did he do? Do I need to have Ryder take him to the train station?” she says, referencing a thing from the show Yellowstone.
I let out a strained laugh and shake my head.
That show has made it so popular here in Montana. Everyone wants to be a cowboy now.
“He’s going on tour. It’s nationwide and he’ll be gone for a whole year.”
“Well, did he tell you that was a possibility before ya’ll got together?”
“I mean kind of. He told me about it but said he wasn’t sure if it was what he wanted anymore. But I guess now it is.”
“Did he explain why?”
“I didn't really give him the chance.”
I grimace thinking about how I just took off on him.
“He said he’s going to plan it around pro rodeos so I can travel with them or him with me.
I'm not really sure what the hell he is thinking but there’s no way that will ever work.
I can't go rodeoing across the country. The ranch needs me, you guys need me—” She puts up a hand and stops me mid-sentence.
“Sorrel, no offense, but we don’t really need you. ”
“Wow, that’s rude!” I say, shoving her shoulder.
She raises her brows and laughs.
“What? It’s the truth. We have more than enough hands and you’ve always rodeoed most of the summer. You just haven’t as much this year because you've been hiding from that douchebag.”
“Yeah, I guess that’s true. But I’ve always rodeoed here in Montana. Not across the country. It would be so much more in fuel and the cost of feed is higher in other states.”
She narrows her eyes at me. “Sorrel, we can afford it. You’re not getting any younger, and it’s one summer. Hell, even if you traveled with them the whole year, it’s not a long time. It sounds like a fun experience to me. I’d do it if I wasn't thirty and married with a child.”
I start crying even more thinking about being away from Trotter. Missing out on seeing him grow for one whole year. Sutton knows exactly what I’m thinking before I say anything.
“Trotter will still be here. It’s not like you can’t come home at all. You know we would FaceTime you every night if that’s what you want.”
She’s spot-on. I know she would. And I could come home if I wanted to. It’s not like I'd be forced to stay on the road.
I look at her tears still rolling down my cheeks. “Thank you.”
“You know, Sorrel, I’ve been through a lot with dating too. I’m always here for you. If you ever need advice, I’ve had my fair share of heartbreak. I just finally got smart enough to realize there was a good man in front of me all along.”
“I know. I’m so happy for you and Ryder,” I say, giving her hand a squeeze and she squeezes mine back.
We hug and I wipe the tears from my face and brush the grass off the back of my pants.
We both climb back into the saddle and I know I need to get back to my cabin to finish my conversation with Denton. If he’s still there that is.