15. Wren
WREN
I don’t know why I’m so nervous about being with Talon now that he said yes to dating. Tonight is our first official date and butterflies flutter in my stomach. I haven’t felt this way since the first time I had to entertain someone, and that was a different kind of flutter.
I know Talon isn’t gonna care if I’m all dolled up or not, but I do this for myself. I want to look beautiful for the one man that has given me butterflies in my stomach.
Talon is usually so silent, and I know he doesn’t care what I look like. He wants to be in my presence, and I want to be in his sometimes grumpy presence.
I don’t know that he understands that there are people that want to be his friend.
I hope he didn’t feel weird about me and the guys including him in our extra festivities last night.
It was my idea, and the guys went with it.
I don’t think anyone had a problem. Everyone except for me and Sparkle has partners, but everyone’s partner is okay with them hanging out with people.
I mean, that’s a giant red flag when a partner restricts who they can hang out with.
Because what do you mean there are people out there whose partners don’t let them do as they wish?
Seems a little messed up, if you ask me.
But honestly, that’s how the Fae court works sometimes.
If you have a partner or you’re a companion, you’re not allowed to socialize unless your partner says it’s okay.
In some ways, I’m glad I’m not part of the Fae court anymore.
I’m glad I have the ability to decide what I want to do with my life, but I still haven’t decided what my life looks like.
Is it really getting up early to sell pastries?
I don’t hate it, and I quite enjoy seeing Talon every day, even if it’s only been a few days of this job.
It’s a fairly easy job, and I don’t hate the work.
I don’t hate seeing the people of Hex. I haven’t really socialized outside of my friends, so meeting everybody in Hex that comes in has been a treat.
I’m tempted to message Sparkle, see what he says to wear, but I think I should probably decide on my own.
It’s not like I don’t have any fashion sense, but I’m used to Fae clothing and Fae beauty standards.
So when I cut my hair, that was a huge difference compared to the Fae lands.
I really, really love having shorter hair.
The undercut makes me feel more masculine than long hair ever did.
Not that I think long hair is unmasculine on men or male presenting people.
I just didn’t feel like it was ever me because it was forced on me.
Then there was all the silk clothing. Not really my style. I quite enjoy leather, but trying to shimming my way into it is not my favorite.
I do wonder if Talon likes me for me, or if I’m just someone from a Fae court that’s interested, but I don’t think that’s him. I think he is genuine at all times, and he doesn’t know how to be fake.
I want to ask him to teach me how to bake.
It’s something that we could do together.
I think he’d enjoy it, but I’m not sure he’d be a good teacher.
He probably knows too much to go back to the basics.
But I’m still asking him to teach me. I just want to feel the dough beneath my fingers and see if I can find that passion, too.
Because what is my passion? What is, life?
I still don’t know, and I’ve been away from the Fae lands with all its requirements for weeks now.
All I’ve done is wallow on the couch and get a job.
Lark didn’t even make me get a job. It just happened to fall in my lap and happened to be around my crush.
It’s so silly to call it a crush. We’re grown men, for crying out loud, but I think that’s what it is.
Isn’t it? I’m not entirely sure. I don’t know how crushes work.
I was never allowed to have one because I was never allowed to dream of being with someone that I’ve chosen. That’s just how the Fae world runs.
I wish I had more clothes to choose from.
Jeans don’t feel like appropriate date clothing to me.
Except for the fact we’re just going to the gardens, and we’re gonna watch the wood nymph perform.
We’ll probably walk around and munch on free vegetation.
That actually does sound like a perfect date.
Jeans would be just fine for that, right?
I know Talon likes the gardens, and he likes the wood nymph’s music. So I thought it’d be a good idea for the two of us to start. Very low anxiety, low paced kind of date. That’s the kind of thing I want. I think Talan feels the same.
I hope to get to know him much, much more than I already do.
I grab one of my formal shirts. Well, a shirt that Lark told me was formal in this realm. It’s stiff compared to a Fae dress shirt. I’m not entirely sure I like it, but we did modify it so that my wings had a lot of space, which I quite appreciate. It pairs well with the jeans that I’m wearing.
I only wish we could go barefoot because shoes in either realm are not all that comfortable for me. If I could go barefoot, I would. Maybe we can drop our shoes at the community garden and just walk with the dirt between our toes. Wouldn’t that be great?
Talon shows up at my apartment at exactly 7pm. He’s dressed much like I am, in nice slacks and a deep purple dress shirt. He also has on dress shoes. I try not to chuckle at the shoes because he grimaces.
He lifts a foot. “I don’t like shoes, but these seem date appropriate.”
“I don’t like shoes either, and I was contemplating going barefoot. You want to leave your shoes here?”
Talon grins and nods as he steps into my apartment. He slides his shoes off at the door.
I pull him in closer by the collar and just stared into his eyes. I’m not sure if he’s ready to kiss yet, but I want to know what his plush lips feel like against mine. And what that beard feels like. Will it give me a rash? Will it chafe my delicate Fae skin? I’m not sure, but I want to know.
He eyes me up and down until his eyes stop at my lips. But neither of us move in.
“I want you to teach me how to bake,” I say.
He stares at me with a strange look on his face. “You want me to teach you how to bake?”
“Yeah, I think we could bond that way. I want to know what it is about baking that you love so much.”
There’s the sweetest grin on Talon’s face. “It makes me think of my grandma. She’s the one that taught me everything I know. Every time I get into the dough, I think of her. I also just love how easy it is. I know exactly what I need to do to make everything work just perfectly.”
“That’s beautiful,” I say. “I wish I had something like that in my life. Fae courtesan training doesn’t teach you anything delicate like that.
They teach you the art of pleasure and few other things.
I can speak with you in one of seven Fae languages, three demon languages, and two human languages.
This one you call English and then Spanish, because in my research in this country, those are the two most useful. ”
“How smart. It took me a bit of time to learn English. It’s not so easy on the tongue, like the Fae languages.”
“I can teach you fun things to do with your tongue.” I wink, making him snort instead of blush. “Sometimes it’s hard not to flip over to Fae because it’s just easier. It’s what I’ve known my entire life. I’ve only known English and Spanish for the last several years. Ever since Lark got taken.”
“It’s admirable that you wanted to learn other languages, so that you could communicate with anyone around here.”
“I thought that as well, too. What if I don’t want to stay in Hex my entire long ass life? What if I wanted to travel? And English isn’t the most common language. What if I want to go someplace else? What if someplace else has Fae or demon languages? I want to be prepared.”
“I don’t think people usually see you as prepared.” Talon looks away.
“I know most people just see me as a Fae courtesan that just fucks around. But there’s so much more to me, I just don’t know what.
Fae courtesan training never taught us anything delicate except for pleasure.
And while I enjoy pleasure, I would like to know something more about myself than how I can make someone moan at just a simple touch. ”
Talon goes bright red as I thought he would. It’s endearing. He drops his head just a little. He scratches his elbow and looks to the ceiling.
“I’m not a virgin, but my experiences have not been pleasurable.”
I walk my fingers up his arm. “Oh, well, you’ve come to the right person.”
“I didn’t mean it like that.”
“I just wanted you to know. I’m quite educated in pleasure.”
Talon swallows and looks away again. “I know.”
“If we ever get there, I will treat you gently if that’s what you want.”
“Has anyone ever treated you gently?”
“I don’t want to answer that.”
“It’s okay.” Talon squeezes my hand and nods to the door.
And I can’t think of a time where I was the one in charge in the bedroom. Or treated gently. Everyone always just wanted to use me and I had to let them.
I kick off my shoes and leave them next to Talons. They look so right next to each other. He leads the way down the steps and to the parking lot.
“It’s silly, but I brought paper fans.” Talon pulls a pair of fans from his back pocket. “I made them.” They’re perfectly pleated, as if he measured each fold. They’re both pastel pink and blue, like cotton candy.
“You added lace.” I snap mine open and fan my face.
“I liked the delicate detail.” He opens his much more gently than I did mine. “I like to do little projects around the house. Like the fans, or the cider I brought to the party, all the treats. Sometimes I do puzzles, but I get bored with them easily.”
“More than I do. I haven’t figured out a hobby I enjoy yet. Gabe does a knitting club, but I haven’t joined it yet.”
“Why not?”