Chapter 25
Chapter Twenty-Five
JOANNA
Ishould be shocked by the state of myself. Blood is congealing on my skin, and in my right mind, I should be panicking, in need of a shower. My lack of concern is odd, but I can’t make myself do anything about it. I only want to keep the connection I have to Aidan.
He’s still inside me, my legs tangled around his waist and the backs of my thighs pressed to his hips with sweat. This is not what I intended to happen when I came over to apologize.
All day, I kept seeing the look on his face as he walked away from me, and the more I thought about it, the more shame I felt. I came over thinking full well Aidan would want to end the arrangement, but now we’re here.
And he bit me…again.
It’s too soon for me to truly process what that means, but right now I’m pretty sure I’m happy about it.
The feeling of his fangs sinking into me, along with the pull of him drinking my blood, felt like an orgasm all on its own.
I came so hard I nearly blacked out, and then I came again.
But in the midst of all that ecstasy, something else was happening—something much deeper in my well of emotions than I knew existed.
I felt my very soul melding with his, becoming one, and in hindsight, it’s scaring the living shit out of me.
I don’t know how long we sit together, just the sound of us catching our breath, while Aidan plays with my hair and kisses my jaw.
“I hate to say this, ma douce,” he says softly, “but my legs are going numb.”
I laugh as Aidan shifts out from under me. As he does, he tucks his hands beneath my arms and lifts me as if I weigh no more than a feather.
When we’re both on our feet, he gazes wide-eyed in wonder at the state of me. I would have thought the sight of blood would be too much for him, but then I remember what he said about vampires not actually craving it.
He traces one finger along the mark on my neck. There’s a slight sting, but I hardly feel it. “Come,” he commands. “Let’s get you cleaned up.”
Aidan takes me by the hand and leads me to the ensuite bathroom.
As he starts the faucet in the tub, I sit on the edge while the water fills, not minding the silence between us.
He tests the temperature and helps me in first, then climbs in behind me, the water turning pink from the blood on our skin.
He pulls my hair away from my right ear and over the opposite shoulder. “Are you alright?”
I nod and lean into him. He cradles me against his chest as he props himself against the large dip of the clawfoot tub. I wish my bath was this elegant. Mine’s not deep enough to cover my whole body, but this one is the perfect size for both of us.
I’ve never shared a moment like this with a man before. Sex is usually just sex, and afterwards, there’s no need to hang around. But with my body pressed to his under the warm water, cocooned by his arms around me, I feel safe. Content.
“Is this what it’s going to be like now?” It’s the first genuine question I’ve asked. Do I want it to be this way? Or am I testing this new tether between us?
I came here to make sure Aidan knows we need to slow things down, only to end up being so caught up in the moment I asked him to bite me. Now we’re sharing a bath together.
There are real emotions involved for me now. Somehow, without meaning to, I’ve grown to care about this man, and he very clearly has begun to care for me. There’s only one word to describe it, and it pounds against my chest, begging to be let in, but I keep ignoring it.
“If you want it to be,” Aidan says.
I snort. “I didn’t think cuddling afterward was in the contract.”
His tone is laced with hurt as he says my name. “Jo, please don’t.”
I’ve ruined the moment, I know it, but I thought I could do this, and I can’t.
There’s a long moment of silence where I don’t think he’s going to say anything, but then he does. His voice is gentle, like he’s scared to spook me. Like I’m an animal that might run away.
“Why do you always do that?”
“Do what?” I deflect.
His hands massage my shoulders and detangle my hair. “You always make a sarcastic comment when the conversation gets too serious. I think you’re going to tell me how you really feel, and then you turn away again.”
My heart is pounding. He’s practically begging for me to open up, but I’m too damn stubborn and proud to admit the feelings he’s accusing me of feeling. So I just make it worse. “Do you want us to talk about our day like some old married couple?”
Aidan perches his arms on either side of the tub. The rest of his body remains relaxed, but as I gaze over my shoulder, I see his features harden.
“You know, sometimes I think all you are capable of is snide, sarcastic remarks. But I know that’s not true. It couldn’t be. Not when you have friends like Raegan and Jamie who love you. I could love you twice as much, but you won’t even let me try.”
I sit up and glare at him over my shoulder. “Because you don’t know me.” I know it’s a lie, but I can’t take it back.
I get out of the tub hastily, causing water to slosh onto the rug. I grab the nearest towel and do a half-assed job of drying my body. I just want to get out of here, because I know he can see right through me, and I don’t want to hear my own insecurities tossed back at me.
Getting in this tub was such a mistake!
“You’re scared,” he says bluntly. He hasn’t moved, and I don’t expect him to. He’s not going to go after me because he knows his last words have hit their mark.
I don’t respond. I just storm out in a flurry of damp skin and embarrassment.
He wasn’t supposed to peel back my layers.
There were supposed to be no strings. I never asked to be someone’s mate!
I wasn’t made for this. Not me—the girl who can’t express her emotions.
Whatever entity in the universe decided it would be a good idea to match me with a vampire was sorely mistaken.
Can’t he see I’ll only ruin everything? Doesn’t he understand, if he chooses me, he’ll only be disappointed?
I race to find my clothes and redress. Aidan doesn’t leave the bathroom. I don’t hear him move as I pound down the stairs, and he doesn’t call my name as I’m slipping out the front door.
The most fucked up thing about all of this?
Despite the rage I feel right now, I know every word Aidan said was the truth. He loves me, and I’m pretty sure I love him too.