21
H
as he gone?” I asked when the conversation fell quiet, and Cheetos looked back at me, wearing a scowl.
“Yes, he’s gone,” she sighed, annoyed that I asked her to cover for me. She clarified that she didn’t like Gunner, but seemed to find Ronan okay. Not sure why he was tolerable, but Gunner wasn’t. “You can’t avoid him forever.”
I slumped down in the chair opposite, dumping my bag on the table. Luckily, Cheetos saw him coming, which gave me plenty of time to scoop up my books and run into hiding. “I know,” I exhaled, resting my chin on my hand, elbow on the table.
“He said he’ll see you tonight,” she proclaimed.
“I’m sorry that I asked you to cover for me,” I told her as I opened my bag and took out my new phone that Bitchtective had given me. “I owe you big time.”
“It’s probably the most excitement I’ve had in years,” she stated dryly, and I wondered if she was joking.
She was an introvert and didn’t like people much, so I doubted she had that much drama in her life. But her expression’s default setting was blank, so sometimes it was hard to gauge her emotions.
Her dark eyes were fixed on my phone as I turned it on and wiped the dust off the screen. “My last one broke,” I reminded her, since she took great interest in it. And I can’t go too long without one.”
She nodded thoughtfully, chewing her bottom lip, flipping the page in the textbook, then glanced up at my phone again. “So, he wanted to know who you broke your glasses and of course, the phone, but…was it those jock losers?”
I wasn’t sure if I could trust her completely, and I didn’t want to drag her into my mess anyway. Wedged between two sides, I had to be loyal to myself first and look after my little brother's welfare.
“I went into the basement under the library looking for Gunner and those two ‘jock losers’ as you call them came in and were unhappy with me being there. I think they thought I was snooping.”
It was a lie. I went into the basement, knowing Gunner wasn’t there because he said he was out of town. And it did that by snooping around and planting hidden cameras for Bitchtective. I regret telling Ronan I found a hidden camera in my room because I suspected Gunner had put it there. But I had to play the victim so he’d feel sorry for me, which gave me the upper hand.
I assumed a device was planted in the back of the phone, so I didn’t bother opening it, but I’d have to get Gunner’s and Ronan’s numbers tonight when I see them. All of this bullshit to please Bitchtective who’ll eagerly track my messages and calls. It was so stupid. Gunner and Ronan were never going to tell me when they would organize a hit or some other illegal activity, so it was a waste of time, and I suspected the real reason the bug was there was to control me.
“So, they broke your glasses and phone?” she persisted, cross-examining me.
“I dropped the phone and my glasses were knocked off,” I told her, but I could tell that she didn’t believe me. An ominous cloud passed over me, and the temperature seemed to descend, making my skin prickle. “Gunner is a loose cannon.”
She nodded in agreement. “I noticed. Kaisers are not nice people. You should watch your back in that club.”
“They have a reputation,” I told her. “But they’re not interested in me.” She shot me a horrified look as if I were stupid, so I corrected what I was trying to convey. “I mean…they’re not interested in me in that way. I’m not their enemy, nor someone for them to be concerned about, am I?”
“I guess,” she sighed doubtfully, then shot me a sharp, knowing look that was out of character for her.
She didn’t believe me, but it didn’t matter because it was my life, not hers. And she didn’t have both the police and the criminals on her back, like I did.
“Anyway, let’s work on that assignment together,” I stated, eager to move away from this topic.
She agreed and pointed at the page number in her textbook as I hauled out the thick text, pleased that we were getting back to schooling. There was nothing like science to bring us back down to earth again. I had a marine biology class in an hour, one of my favorite classes. We studied live specimens in glass tanks to prepare us for our trip to the ocean next month, where we’ll be scuba diving.
My mind drifted to the depths of the ocean and the creatures that lived within, and it uplifted my heart, making me smile. Water was my happy place, but diving deep into wild water and exploring was a different level altogether. It was exhilarating yet like a caressing and therapeutic spa for the soul.
Ronan’s handsome, clean-shaven face entered my mind. Water was the Irishman’s element, and when I think of wild waterways, Ronan wasn’t too far away in my mind. We met in the freshwater spring in the middle of the forest, and I wished he stayed an enigma, a man who appeared from the foliage with no name, past, or connection to the Kaisers.
Cheetos said something, and I shook myself out of my little dream state. “Sorry?”
“Do you have notes on this?” she asked, pointing to the page in her textbook. “The tutor was supposed to go over it last week, and you know, I don’t like going to that class because there are too many people in it.”
“Oh, sure,” I breathed, hunting through my bag for my notebook. “Here.” I handed it to her, hoping she could read my scribbly writing. “I’m a fast writer and often miss words, so hopefully you can read it.”
She pushed her glasses back on her nose, lowered her head, and perused my notes. “You seem a million miles away,” she mumbled as she picked up her pen and copied my notes.
“I was,” I chuckled. “Thinking about the good ol’ days.” I was lying again.
Lying had become my norm, but with every lie, there was another lie to cover it, and sometimes, I’d forget what the original was. This was why I avoided making friends: It was exhausting retracing my lies to ensure I didn’t trip up on fabrications I’d forgotten I said in the first place.
“In Luton?” she pressed without looking up from her notes.
“Yep,” I declared. “Good ol’ Luton. I miss that town.”
I couldn’t recollect telling her that I was from a small country town called Luton, hundreds of miles away. But that was my problem. I sometimes lose track of what I said to whom. A problem that wouldn’t exist if I were living my life as Annika, not fake Riley Laws.
“It’s a good place to be,” she yawned, then slipped her fingers under her glasses and rubbed her eyes. “A million miles away.”
“It is.”
“How did you become interested in marine biology when you come from a small country town?” This was a reasonable question, but it annoyed me that she asked it.
Like most generic questions, I had a rehearsed answer. “I was given a tropical fish tank for my eighth birthday and was obsessed with how graceful and beautiful the fish were. I was a good swimmer too and spent practically every summer in the local pool.”
“In Luton?” she queried as if she struggled to believe a local swimming pool existed.
“At the elementary school,” I corrected her. “Have you been to Luton?”
“No, but you said it was a small town, so I was just curious…” she trailed off, and I hoped it was the end of that conversation, until… “Do you miss your family?”
Tears welled in my eyes as the weight of the stress of the last three years and the exhaustion of betraying everyone I met, especially the nice people, fell upon me. At least the tears were genuine, but I wasn’t crying over my fake parents in a town I’d never been to, but I was crying over the family I never had and the family I betrayed.
She noticed the tears, but didn’t say anything to make me feel better, because that’s not her style, and I was pleased with that. Instead, she concentrated on her schoolwork, and I focused on my schoolwork after mopping up my tears.
The hour passed, and I packed my books to head to the marine biology class. After saying goodbye, I strolled to the stairwell, but something urged me to look back at her. That small figure sitting alone, plain face hidden behind a curtain of brown, uncombed hair. Fingers nervously picking at the corners of her textbook.
So much about her reminded me of Riley Laws, yet my heart went out to her. It was a lonely life being introverted and socially awkward, but an even lonelier life living a lie. And I wasn’t talking about me. Some aspects about her were hidden, like I wasn’t seeing the real Katerina…whatever her surname was. I was seeing the person she wanted me to see.
I didn’t think she was as bad as me with a disguise and a fake identity, but she was guarded, kept everything close to her chest, and looked upon the world with suspicion. Everyone was guilty until proven innocent.
A shiver ran down my spine as I reflected on our conversations, which were always short and lacking great detail. I remembered her questions about Luton and why I was so interested in marine biology, as I came from a country town.
If I were clearer in the head, I would’ve turned the conversation back to her and asked about her life. Why did she come to this college? Why did she choose to study those particular subjects? What did she plan to do with her life once she graduated?
And I wondered if her answers would be rehearsed like mine were.
Naturally, I searched for Gunner’s Mustang when I walked outside and didn’t see it, so I went on my way feeling as lonely as Cheetos looked sitting alone in the library.