Chapter 28
DENVER
Percy stares at me with narrowed eyes and a very distinct you must be fucking kidding me look on his face.
“You are not going out,” he says with both his voice and his hands, like he can’t believe I would ask.
Beside me, Nico makes an annoyed noise. “What do you think’s going to happen? You literally have the person who attacked him immobilized in the shed.”
“He’s not the only person in town interested in causing trouble,” Percy says.
I try not to get too involved in their business, but I have to wonder what that means. The words are general, but his tone is very specific.
“My brother loves me, but he won’t hesitate to kill me in a very, very painful way if something happens to either of you,” Percy says.
Nico lays a hand on my shoulder. “The both of us have been surviving just fucking fine without the three of you hovering over us. And you’ve disabled the threat, Perce. For the love of god, I’m going to lose my mind if I don’t get out and go do something. Please.”
I can see Percy cracking, and I have to give Nico credit—he’s very, very good at getting his way.
“It’s going to be a crowded event,” I tell Percy. I’m not lying. I got an email from Rene letting me know there’s a drag brunch happening at a little Deaf-owned café near the college.
And it’s convenient for me because there are a couple of things I need to pick up from my office, which I can do on the way. Especially now that I feel like I can breathe again without having to look over both shoulders.
“I mean crowded in a good way. Deaf community,” I go on. “It’s a drag brunch. There will be a ton of my friends there. No one’s going to kidnap anyone or light the building on fire.”
Percy’s eyes narrow like he wants to argue. Like maybe he has a reason to argue. After what feels like forever, Percy’s shoulders sag. “Fine. But brunch and home. Nowhere else.”
Nico throws himself at Percy. “Thanks, Daddy.”
He catches him but gives him a sour face. “Don’t fucking start with me, Nic.”
Nico pouts, but he kisses Percy on the cheek, and Percy lets him. I have a feeling that at the moment, Nico might be the only person Percy lets get away with being that touchy-feely. He’s a lot like Archie in that way.
Dropping out of Percy’s grasp, Nico turns and makes a grabby hand for me. “Come on, babe. I’ll drive.”
It’s only when we get outside and around the back of the house that I realize why he wants to drive.
He has a very cute, very tiny, two-seater BMW convertible in Tiffany blue.
He gets behind the wheel and does a little wiggle, waiting for me to get in before he starts the engine, and it rumbles so loudly I quickly reach up and yank my processors off my head.
The noise gives way to silence and vibration, and I let out a breath of relief.
Nico grins at me. ‘Ready?’
I’m so fucking ready. I needed this. I needed a moment to get out, to feel like myself, to feel safe and not like I have to run into Archie’s arms every time I’m away from him for too long.
I like being close to him, but I want to be able to choose when I am. I’m so fucking done with being scared shitless and letting my trauma steal bits of my independence.
The drive to the café isn’t far, but the tiny parking lot is full, so I tap Nico and point down the block toward the college. ‘I have my pass,’ I sign. ‘We can use the staff parking lot.’
He gives me a thumbs-up, then follows my directions toward the gate. He taps my pass on the little white box, and the security arm lifts up, and he rolls past it, taking a spot right near the edge of the lot that’s closest to the street.
I stretch, the tension easing from my body the moment I’m out of the car, then adjust my outfit and check myself in the reflection of the window.
It’s been a long time since I was out and about, and I’m terrified I look like some kind of gremlin living under a bridge. I sway close to Nico as he grins at me.
‘Werk, babe,’ he signs. ‘You look amazing.’
I see why everyone embraced him as family. He seems to read my insecurities off my face and knows exactly how to make them fade.
The fact that he’s still such a hopeful person after everything he’s been through is wild. And I know he deserves the absolute fucking world. I hope he can find happiness, whether it’s here or somewhere else.
For now though, I can at least offer him friendship.
Nico takes my hand and swings it between us as he chats with the other. The walk to the café isn’t far, and as we get close, I see the queue is long.
‘We might not get in,’ he says with a small pout.
I grin. ‘Trust me. We’ll be fine.’
Instead of getting in line, I pull Nico around to the back server entrance and immediately see Rene spraying one of his stilettos with something glittery from a can. He looks up at me as we approach and throws his arms wide, gathering me close.
‘I didn’t think you were going to come!’ he signs after he lets go.
I shrug. ‘I’m feeling better.’
Rene realizes Nico’s hovering off to the side, and he gives him a slow, appreciative up and down. Nico does look very pretty in his artfully distressed jeans and crop top. ‘Who’s your friend?’
‘Nico,’ I sign, then offer the sign name Nico first showed me. ‘Friend of my boyfriend.’
Oh. It feels interesting to use boyfriend in public like this. But it also feels right. And it makes me miss Archie so much I ache.
Rene’s face brightens. ‘Come inside! It’s about to start, and I think there’s a couple VIP tables left.’
He tugs on my hand, and I glance back at Nico with a grin. He rolls his eyes at me, but he does look excited as we head inside. I can feel the rumble of the crowd just before we walk around the makeshift curtain and I see the crowd.
There are two tables up front, and Rene snags the one for three and forcibly shoves me into the seat before kissing my cheek. ‘When are you back with us?’ he asks.
I bite my lip. ‘I don’t know. Soon.’
He gives me a look, then softens. ‘Good. We’re going on in twenty. Get a peach bellini. You’ll thank me later.’
I’m most definitely not going to get a peach anything.
Fake peach tastes like cat piss to me for some reason, and he knows this.
I sigh, turning to Nico, but I realize he’s not at the table.
He’s several feet away, talking to three men who look like they’ve never been to drag brunch before.
He’s smiling and laughing as he signs, but there’s a line of tension in his body that wasn’t there before.
‘Thank you, thank you,’ he’s signing with both hands at his chin. ‘That’s very nice of you.’
‘I’m a huge fan—’
‘I recorded all of your videos last year—’
‘I subscribe and sent a few messages, but you never responded—’
Oh, shit. I see a flush creeping up his neck, so I jump up and hurry over, wrapping one arm around his waist as I tug him close. I don’t recognize any of these men, so it’s very possible they’re in town for the show.
I offer a tight smile. ‘He’s happy to meet a fan, but we’re here to enjoy ourselves,’ I sign sharply.
The tallest one gives me a look, but when I don’t glance away, they take several steps back. Offering a short nod, I grab Nico and carefully pull him back to our table.
‘We can leave if that was too much.’
He shakes his head. ‘No, it’s fine. It happens. I do a lot of voice-off videos, so I kind of have a niche audience.’ He keeps his signs quiet, hidden in front of his chest so they’re not visible to the entire room.
‘Well, if it gets bad, we can go.’
‘I want to enjoy the show. I think—’ He doesn’t get to finish his sentence.
Someone pulls the third chair away from the table, and I’m about to snap my hands at someone I don’t know when I immediately recognize the dark curls and glasses.
Fayid offers me a small smile as he sits. ‘Do you mind?’
I’m about to say no when I realize that Nico might actually mind. I glance at him, and his gaze is caught on Fayid’s face. His hands are still lifted but hanging by a limp wrist in front of his chest.
‘I can go if you want,’ Fayid adds, directed at Nico.
He swallows heavily, then shakes his head and gestures for him to sit. Fayid does, settling into his seat, and he gives Nico a steady look. This was not how I saw today going.
‘I didn’t expect you to be here,’ Nico says after a beat. ‘Not really a straight-man scene.’
‘Drag is for everyone,’ Fayid insists. He licks his lips slowly, not looking away, almost like it’s a challenge. ‘And when I saw you, I wanted to say sorry.’
My chest unknots, the tension leaving.
‘I just didn’t expect someone like you to be here,’ Fayid adds.
Nope. Never mind. It’s back again.
Nico’s eyes go wide, and he smacks his hand on the table. ‘Someone like me? What is that supposed to mean?’
‘I’m saying this wrong,’ Fayid insists, his hands a little stiff with nerves. ‘I’m not trying to insult you. You’re just…’
Nico stares. Waits. ‘I’m what?’
Fayid huffs, then gestures to all of Nico—a slow up and down from his toes to his face.
‘Camboy? Hooker? Whore?’ Nico mouths each word, spelling them to emphasize.
Fayid’s cheeks darken, and he quickly stands up. ‘Sorry. This was a mistake.’
He leaves before I can stop him, not that I would. Not now. We definitely have an audience, and while I’m used to that, this isn’t how I prefer to be noticed in public. Especially when I’m not in drag.
I look over to Nico, who’s now hiding his trembling hands under the table. I want to tell him Fayid really is a nice guy, and whatever he was trying to say, it wasn’t offensive, but Nico’s upset, and it seems unfair for me to invalidate that.
I have to talk with Fayid and make him fix this because he’s never been like this before. Ever. He can be awkward at the best of times, but he hasn’t shit the bed in conversation like this in…well. Ever.
Not that I’ve seen.
The last time he ever stumbled over his words was with his current girlfriend. That left him a whole mess. But he’s straight, so clearly he’s not into Nico that way.
Something twitches in my awareness, but before I can dig deeper, Nico stands. ‘I’m sorry. Can we go? I changed my mind.’
At this point, the brunch is ruined anyway, so I nod and hop up, following as he makes a very short beeline through the crowd and out the front door.
I can see his breath heaving in his chest as he storms toward the college, and it takes me a moment to catch up with him. My body’s still struggling after being attacked, and I’m slightly winded by the time I can grab his arm.
‘Slow,’ I beg.
He pulls both hands through his hair, then takes a deep breath. ‘Sorry. I didn’t mean to lose it. I just…’ His hands hover, fingers twitching slightly. ‘I don’t know why it’s getting to me so much right now.’
I frown. ‘Fayid?’
‘Not just him. The fans. Strangers who think they know me. Who think they’re entitled to my time and communication. I get so many hateful messages from people because they think just because they pay money, they’ve bought a piece of me.’
My heart twists.
‘And then people like Fayid think I don’t deserve to be seen in public spaces. It’s fine for me to exist for pay on the internet, but god forbid I want to enjoy a brunch…!’
I quickly take Nico by the shoulders and squeeze. When he takes a calming breath, I let him go. ‘Fayid is being a jackass, but he does that when he’s nervous. I don’t know why he’s like that with you right now, but I promise he’s a good man.’
Nico bites the inside of his cheek. ‘You’re biased.’
‘Yes. But Archie also likes him, and you know he’s an amazing judge of character.’
Nico’s shoulders sag. ‘Yeah?’
I nod. ‘I promise. I can talk to him and find out—’
‘No,’ his hand interrupts, snapping sharply between us. ‘No. It’s fine. It’s not like Fayid and I are going to become friends. I’ll try harder not to take it personally.’
I want to tell him he doesn’t need to shoulder that burden, but I have a feeling he will, no matter what I say. ‘Want to run up to my office with me? I have a couple drinks in my mini fridge and a drawer full of chocolate.’
His eyes brighten. ‘Yeah?’
‘Yes. And it’s summer before the first session, so there won’t be anyone around. It’ll be nice and quiet. Peaceful.’
Nico breathes out a sigh of relief. ‘Thanks. Sorry for being too much.’
I tug on his arm. ‘You are not too much.’
Part of me wants to hug him, but I have a feeling he needs space right now, so instead, I keep close, hoping that while I’m not his best friend, maybe I can be seen as an extension and offer him part of the peace that Archie can.
Nico makes himself comfortable in my office, digging through my snack drawer while I grab a couple of the books I wanted to take home with me.
I make sure everything’s tidy, put together just the way I like it.
Nico waves to get my attention. ‘Why did you get into Deaf-Ed? This school lets Deaf teach anything.’
I shrug. ‘I didn’t learn sign until I was older. My family is hearing, so I was mainstreamed. CIs as a baby.’
His nose wrinkles. ‘The ASL accent.’
I fucking hate when people tell me my signs have a hearing accent, even though I know they do. But it’s a reminder that I came to this late. That some people—the most snobby elite—still think quietly that I don’t belong.
I let that roll off me. I know Nico doesn’t mean it that way.
‘Majoring in Deaf Studies seemed easy,’ I tell him as I grab the half-full rubbish bin to take to the front desk for housekeeping. ‘It ended up being harder than I thought, but I was so far in it, I didn’t want to take up something else, so I leaned in.’
He nods, then goes back to snooping around my top drawer, and I reach for the door handle to walk up to the front desk. The door swings open, and just before I take a step into the hallway, a man appears.
A familiar man.
‘Byron,’ my lips start to form. My heart begins to hammer in my chest so hard I think I might be having a heart attack.
His lips stretch into a dangerous smile, but before I can make a sound, his arm lifts, he leans forward, and something crashes into the back of my head. I have no time to scream, and before I hit the ground, everything goes numb and black.