20. Syneca
Syneca
Beware the stranger who learns your name with a smile and writes it down. Some keep ledgers of fine things. Some are simply deciding what you’re good for.
For the first time in my life, I let myself watch the fire without pretending I wasn’t part of it. I’d spent the time Silas was away coming up with shreds of a plan. A potential starting point if he managed to free Calder. But it would mean going back to a place steeped in death.
Dez spoke from the window, tearing me away from the flames. “Silas is back. And judging by the size of the guy beside him, I’m going to guess the baby giant is Calder.”
My heart stopped. Then kicked so hard I thought it might break through my ribs. I was moving before I could think, rushing for the door with single-minded focus. Dez and Lore stepped into my path. Blocking the exit.
I drew back, brows knit together. “Move.”
“We can’t.” Lore’s hand drifted toward the blade at her hip. “He’s been in a demon prince’s possession for weeks. We can’t trust them. I’m sorry but Silas has to give the okay.”
“Calder would never—”
“You don’t know that.” Dez’s usual levity was gone. “You haven’t seen what people can do when they’re under compulsion. What they’re willing to do.”
“I don’t care.”
The front door opened and I had to look between the shoulders of the demons blocking my path to glare at my familiar. “Call off your hounds.”
Dez sucked a sharp breath between his teeth before his eyes slid to Lore. Lore went very still. Something dangerous flickered across her expression.
Silas’s voice cut through the tension. “Back off, you two.”
Dez spun and raised his chin, scrutinizing Calder. “You’re certain?”
Si’s tone left no room for argument. “I’d trust Calder before almost anyone in any world.”
Lore leaned closer to me, her voice dropping low and sharp. “You call me a name again, and we’re going to have a problem.”
“Then move.” The words came out harder than I intended, but I couldn’t bring myself to soften them. Not when Calder was standing right there and they were keeping me from him.
Lore’s eyes narrowed. For a second, I thought she might actually draw that blade.
Then Dez touched her arm. “Let her go.”
She held my gaze for a beat longer, something unreadable passing behind her eyes, then stepped aside. Dez followed, moving out of the way but keeping his attention locked on Calder.
I ran.
Calder caught me when I threw myself at him, arms wrapping around me so tight I couldn’t breathe properly and didn’t care.
My voice was little more than a mumble into his chest. “You’re alive. You’re here. You’re not—”
“I’m okay. I’m okay, Syn.”
I pulled back just enough to look at his scarred face, searching for any sign of new damage, any hint that Evanoch had hurt him. But I only found exhaustion.
Silas’s voice came from somewhere behind us. “Everyone find somewhere else to be. Give them the study.”
As we stepped into the room, footsteps retreated. Doors closed. And then it was just us.
“I’m sorry,” I said, the words tumbling out before I could stop them. “I’m so sorry. You got captured because of me, because I walked into Dyssara without thinking, because I… I’m the—”
“Stop.” Calder’s hands found my shoulders, steadying me. “None of this is your fault.”
“But you need to listen.”
“Syn.” He looked down at me and then drew back. “Have you been eating?”
The question was so mundane, so perfectly Calder, that I almost laughed. “What?”
“You look thin. Have you been eating properly?”
“I—yes. Mostly. When I remember.”
His expression said exactly what he thought of that answer.
“Calder!”
A blur of blue shot through the doorway. I moved just as Pip slammed into Calder’s chest with enough force that he actually stumbled back a step.
But she didn’t cling to him the way I expected. Didn’t dissolve into relief or joy. She hovered there, wings beating steadily, studying his face. “Why did you leave without us? Why did you let yourself get caught?”
Calder blinked. “Pip—”
“No. We were worried. All of us. We didn’t know what happened to you, if you were alive, if Evanoch had—” She stopped herself, took a breath and started again. “If we’d known what you were doing, we could have helped. Why didn’t you tell us?”
I watched Calder’s face as I held my breath. He wasn’t used to answering to anyone. Let alone an eighteen inch, little spitfire with anger wrapped around her words like a snake. Pip threw her hands on her hips. “You better answer Calder Grimm or I’m never talking to you again.”
He cleared his throat, bending to the sprite.
“Because I didn’t know how it would play out.
I followed Vitoria through Dyssara after she left Syn’s room.
Within an hour, I was standing before Evanoch.
I didn’t have a plan. I couldn’t have warned you.
It was recon until it wasn’t. And I learned very quickly that breaking my facade would have put all of you in danger.
As long as I kept the demon’s attention on me, Syn should have gotten away.
” His jaw tightened. “I didn’t know Wickett would turn on you so quickly.
I thought Silas would save you. I trusted him to do that while I learned why Evanoch had ordered my family killed. ”
“Revenge,” Pip said, shaking her head. “You got yourself caught for your own revenge.”
“No, Pip Squeak. Justice.” But the word sounded hollow even to my ears. “My family’s blood is on Evanoch’s hands. I made a promise to myself a long time ago, and there’s only one way to complete it.”
I leaned forward, unable to stay quiet any longer. “By getting yourself killed?”
“By making him pay.” Calder’s eyes met mine. “But I should have told you. Should have trusted you both to understand instead of just going on my own. I’m sorry for leaving you to chase ghosts from the past.”
Pip’s wings stilled. Then she flew closer, landing on his shoulder with the kind of gentleness that said forgiveness even if she didn’t say it. “Silas did save us. Because Wickett is evil.”
I reminded myself to breathe past the casual use of his name twice in so many seconds.
Calder’s expression went dark. “I know all about Wickett fucking Veyne.”
The venom in his voice was something I’d learned to take note of. When he was angry, truly angry, his threats grew deadlier.
“Sit down,” he said, looking at me. “I’ve got some news.”
I sank onto the couch. Pip left him to settle beside me, her small hand finding mine.
“You’re the Phoenix,” Calder said.
My immediate instinct was to deny it, to shake my head and tell him he was wrong, that there’d been some mistake. But denial was pointless now. The truth was carved from my shoulder, burned into my blood, woven through every bit of magic I’d unlocked in this cursed place.
I hated hearing it spoken aloud. Hated the way those words felt like an accusation instead of an identity.
Like something that made me a target instead of a person.
I was confident I’d never get used to it.
Maybe one day it wouldn’t feel like a death sentence.
Maybe one day I’d hear “Phoenix” and not immediately think of everyone who wanted me dead because of it.
Today wasn’t that day.
“I know,” I said quietly.
Calder dropped to his knees before us, his large hands covering mine and Pip’s. “I would have protected you better. I would have abandoned everything for your safety. Their fear is not a reason for your persecution.”
“Still. I’m sorry.”
He tucked a finger under my chin and forced my eyes to his. “Don’t bow your head for the fire in your bones. You weren’t made to be smaller for their comfort. You were made to burn, and the world can learn to live with the heat.”
My throat tightened before I could stop it.
His words landed somewhere within me that had been dark and empty for a long time, somewhere I’d been carefully avoiding, and for a moment I couldn’t answer him at all.
I just stared at him, searching his face for doubt.
For hesitation. For anything that indicated he didn’t really mean it.
There was nothing.
And that made it worse.
Because Calder knew what it was to be hunted. He knew what it was to be feared. He wasn’t speaking from ignorance or comfort. He was speaking from the same fire I was trying so hard to hide.
“I wasn’t apologizing for what I am,” I said quietly, though even to my own ears it sounded like the lie it was.
I swallowed, forcing the words out. “I was apologizing for not telling you. For letting you stand beside me without knowing what that meant. What it could cost you.” My gaze dropped to where his hands covered mine and Pip’s, steady and warm.
“You should have had the choice to walk away before it became… this.” I managed a breath.
“You don’t get to tell me not to apologize for that. ”
Calder tilted his head to catch my eyes. “I wouldn’t have walked away.”
“I just didn’t want to be the reason you were hunted too,” I admitted, barely above a whisper.
“Turns out the hunt had nothing to do with you anyway, Syneca. And now it doesn’t matter.
Everything’s changed. Wickett told everyone what you are.
He bound himself to Evanoch and left Dyssara, gathered his hunters, and was ordered to spread the word across Fuerlis.
Evanoch wants your power. Now you’re the hunted one. ”
“I always have been. And considering you’re no longer at his side, I’d guess that makes two of us.” I said, challenging him.
“It’s not safe to go back home. I know Silas says you have to, but we shouldn’t.”
Pip straightened, her wings fluttering with agitation. “We do have to.”
“No, we don’t. We can stay here. Find somewhere neutral and safe. Build something new.”
“It’s more dangerous here than it is there,” I said, shaking my head. “You have no idea what these demons are capable of.”