36. Lucy
Lucy
Never brew an antidote when angry. The pot remembers your mood and serves it back to whoever drinks.
We raced back to the mountains together, wings beating in rhythm that was more instinct than intention.
Riot flew beside me, close enough I could see the tension in every movement.
The way his scales seemed to tighten together.
The careful control that came from centuries of unwavering discipline, even when everything inside him was breaking.
I wanted to reach for him, but the words wouldn’t form.
What could I possibly say that would matter against the loss of almost everyone he’d ever known?
So I just flew. Stayed close. Let him know he wasn’t alone because I couldn’t fix what was broken, even as something stirred within me, nagging at the clues laid bare.
When we reached the Sleeping Ring, he circled once before landing on the familiar ledge outside of the fog. I landed beside him, and for a moment we just stood there in our dragon forms, the silence heavy between us.
Then he shifted to human.
I followed, the change washing over me as his forehead pressed to mine. His hands came up to frame my face, thumbs brushing my cheekbones like he was memorizing the feel of me. “Sunset. I’ll be right here.”
Dangerous as it was, I leaned into his palms. A whole day stretched between this and the next time I’d feel them, and I resented every hour of it already.
The sun was already threatening the horizon but still, I held onto his wrists, staring up at him as the collar began to tighten and burn down my spine.
“Try to rest. I’ll see you in my dreams.”
He kissed my forehead and stepped away, letting me go even though I could see how much it cost him. How desperately he wanted to hold on to the only person he had left.
I shifted and flew through the fog alone, committing only to sleep the entire day away, so I could be back with him on the other side of my dreams. Tavian guarded my door, the only sounds coming through were his sharp whispers to Emrys and boots fading down the hall.
That night, I felt him before I saw him.
The compulsion to fly west pulled at me, demanding I hunt, but Riot had my whole focus.
I landed before him, wings folding as we stood facing each other in the darkness.
He took a deep breath, chest rising and falling like he was trying to hold himself together.
I stepped closer. Our foreheads touched and we both shifted to human form, the change washing over us in tandem.
A theory had taken root in my mind, but before I stated the obvious, I decided I needed to give him this time. This peace, as he’d so frequently given to me. Still, it lingered.
His arms stayed at his sides, but the brokenness in his stare consumed me.
I slid my arms around him because I didn’t know what else to do for a man who’d seemed unbreakable when I first met him.
The universe was chipping away at him piece by piece.
Taking his Fury. Locking his Tilouri behind wards.
And now his family, people he’d known for longer than I could even fathom, were all gone.
He buried his face in my hair and just breathed.
“Maybe I should have been there,” he said finally, his voice raw. “I should have gone back. Checked on them. But I couldn’t leave. I couldn’t risk missing a night with you.”
“Riot, I think—”
“I just need to say it out loud. The conflict of it is eating me alive.” His arms tightened around me. “I stayed for you and lost everything else. And I don’t regret it. That’s the part that’s breaking me. I don’t regret choosing you.”
“We’ll find them,” I said quietly.
He pulled back just enough to look at me, his eyes searching mine like he was trying to decide whether to believe me or just believe in me.
His gaze dropped to my mouth, and my pulse stumbled.
I should have looked away. Should have stepped back and put space between us before I did something reckless. Instead, I found myself hoping.
There were a hundred reasons not to want this. I was trapped. He was grieving. We had bigger problems than whatever this thing between us had become. None of it seemed to matter.
I wanted him.
Not the dragon. Not the Guardian.
Riot.
His eyes lifted back to mine, and his expression changed. Softened. Like he’d seen the answer written plainly across my face. “I can’t think about finding anyone right now. There’s only you.” He leaned in slowly, giving me every chance to stop him, but I didn’t.
The first touch of his lips against mine was gentle, almost cautious, and somehow that undid me more than if he’d kissed me with complete certainty. For all his confidence, for all the impossible things he’d faced without hesitation, he was still waiting for me to choose this too.
I closed the distance, kissing him back.
A quiet sound escaped him before his hand slid into my hair and the last of the space between us disappeared.
Fingers tightened at my waist, pulling me closer as heat spread through me, followed by something deeper, something that felt strangely familiar.
I wanted his hands lower. Wanted to know the shape of him without scale or distance between us.
The thought arrived fully formed and unashamed, and I kissed him harder for it, letting myself want him.
It felt new and ancient at once. Like my body had always known the exact touch of his hands.
Like he had been waiting across more time than I could fathom, and had finally, finally found what he was waiting for.
His mouth moved against mine and I felt something unravel in me.
Something that had been wound tight for so long I had stopped noticing the ache of it.
The world outside this, the Furies, the wards, the collar dissolved into nothing. There was only his mouth and his hands and the heat of him pressed against me, and the slow, devastating realization that there was no coming back from a kiss like this.
When we finally pulled apart, he rested his forehead against mine and something in that felt like home. Like that moment would always be only ours.
“Thank you,” he whispered.
“For what?”
“For being here when everything else is gone.”
I kissed him again, softer this time. “I’m not going anywhere.”
Even as I said it, the collar burned against my throat, reminding me that I didn’t have a choice in the matter. But for this moment, with his arms around me and his lips on mine, I let myself believe the lie. I held onto my theory quietly, preserving the moment.
We settled on the cliff overlooking the massive wall of fog, sitting close enough our shoulders touched.
The darkness stretched out before us, the frozen mist glowing faintly in the moonlight.
Riot was losing himself in the memories he’d had with the other Guardians and I’d let him, hanging on every story and every word that brought him joy.
“Ruin once convinced me we needed to steal a fishing boat.”
I turned to look at him. “Why?”
“He’d heard rumors about a sea creature that only appeared during storms. Said it was our sacred duty as Guardians to investigate.
” He smiled. “We didn’t know how to sail.
Neither of us had ever been on a boat in our lives and for some reason the fucker refused to fly. He claimed we’d scare it away.”
“How did that go?”
“We made it about fifty feet from the dock before we crashed into another boat. The owner came running out screaming, Ruin panicked and shifted mid-deck, destroyed half the vessel trying to get airborne.” Riot shook his head.
“We had to pay for the damages and Aureth wouldn’t speak to us for a week. ”
I could picture it. Two dragons trying to maneuver a stolen boat, everything going wrong, chaos erupting. Pissed off Aureth.
“I bet Corvus side-eyed you longer than her. Did you ever find the sea creature?”
“No. But Ruin insisted it was out there. Spent the next decade trying to convince me we should try again.” His voice went softer. “He never gave up on things. Even the ridiculous ones.”
“He sounds like he was a good friend,” I said quietly.
“The best.” Riot looked out over the fog wall, his smile fading. “They all were. We were like brothers, if dragons could have them.”
I nudged him. “I think we both know there’s nothing out there that’s going to storm the Fury’s home, capture them, all the fury-born, and your brothers and vanish without leaving a trail.”
“They want control. One always angling to rise above the others. Nowhere is safe and no one is invisible. Not even the pure.”
I thought of Pip before anyone else. Of how she could have been crushed by the weight of Grimora’s Magistrate. But she hadn’t been. “I think you’ll find there are some who slip through the cracks. Small enough to be overlooked. Brave enough to matter anyway.”
His hand stilled against the collar. “I hope you’re right.”
We sat together longer, the silence comfortable now instead of heavy. Movement caught my eye, shapes drifting through the fog. Dragons. Large ones, circling in patterns.
“They’re guarding it,” I said quietly. “Just like I thought.”
Riot followed my gaze. “I’ve seen them during the day as well. Sometimes, though it’s rare, they leave the cover of the fog. They all have collars.”
The sky began to lighten at the edges, dawn threatening sooner than I wanted. Leaving him felt like a chore, like every muscle in my body was resisting the idea of moving away from this cliff. But the thoughts I’d been circling finally settled into something solid. Something I needed to say.
He helped me stand. “Tomorrow, beautiful beast,” he whispered, then pulled me close and kissed me. Soft and lingering and full of promises.
He held on one breath longer than he probably should have before letting me step back.
I shifted and flew toward the wall, but stopped at the edge, turned back and spoke into his mind. Riot, next time you see me leave the wards, don’t stop me from hunting. Let me find whatever it is. We don’t know how long ago the Sanctuary was attacked, and I think I might be hunting the Furies.
I stepped through the fog before I could see his face.