RUNNING, AGAIN #2
Ensnared like an animal in a trap, caught by Gabriel’s gaze and his warmth. Suns help me, but the man must have a furnace burning beneath his skin. How is he so hot when I’m so damn cold?
A piece of me—an insane, traitorous part that seems to have forgotten what Gabriel did—wants to insist that he hold me tight to chase away the cold that’s taken root inside me.
But obviously, that part of me lacks sound judgment and can’t be trusted.
“Careful, little bird,” he rumbles.
The deep tenor of his voice shakes something loose, yanking me out of my thoughts. Oh, suns. What the fuck am I thinking? How could I forget who he is, even for a moment?
Even though Gabriel saved me from the sailors in Saltwater and gave me money to leave Myreth, he’s still the man who chased me halfway across the country. He pursued me with relentless intensity, even after I begged him to leave me alone.
It doesn’t matter that he’s as hot as a blazing sun and I’m desperate for his heat. I can’t let myself forget what he’s done.
My body unfreezes, and I shudder.
“I . . . will be. Careful, I mean.” Obviously.
Why can’t I form proper sentences around Gabriel? Damn my awkwardness.
“Good.” He releases me, and I stumble away, my back hitting the stone wall.
My fingers spread against the cool material, letting it knock some sense into me. I force myself to look away from his piercing green gaze, even as I feel his eyes on me. Assessing. Studying me, as if I were still his prey.
When Gabriel finally turns his attention to the wall in front of us, it feels like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. He runs his free hand down the stones, brows knit in concentration.
“It should be . . .” His voice trails off as he pushes, and one of the stones moves. A grinding sound fills the corridor, and my breath hitches. I shove off the wall to get a closer look, unable to help myself.
“Right there,” Gabriel says triumphantly.
Marie whispers, “It’s a secret passageway.”
I don’t know if I’d go that far, since obviously Gabriel knew about it—I make a mental note to ask him about how he knows about all this later—but it does feel like it appeared out of nowhere.
“Way to point out the obvious,” Violet hisses.
“Shut up,” Marie says. “What else would you call it?”
“It’s a door.”
“Hidden in a wall. Which is why I said it was a secret.”
Violet huffs.
The sound of my sisters bickering is so familiar that a wave of homesickness washes over me.
It’s funny—I used to hate when they argued.
They would often drive me up the wall with their constant disagreements.
None of that seems so bad now, though. It wasn’t until I’d had my whole life stripped away that I realized how much I used to have.
My family might not have hugged me after I turned twelve, complying with the Giving Agreement, but they still loved me in their own ways.
I’m not sure I truly realized that until it was too late.
My eyes grow misty, and I discreetly wipe my finger beneath them as the wall finishes moving. White particles of dust rain down on us, and when they settle . . .
“Oh, my.” Marie’s voice is softer and tinged with worry. “That’s . . .”
“Really dark,” Violet finishes.
Any frustration that had been in their voices earlier is gone, and out of the corner of my eye, I see Violet take Marie’s hand. Together, the twins stare into the gaping black hole where the wall had been.
“Yes, it is.” Gabriel scrubs a hand over his face. “But regardless, it’s our way out.”
I peer around Gabriel, breath catching in my throat. The passageway isn’t dark. It’s void of light, a pit the likes of which would be used to scare children at night.
My chest tightens.
“You want us to go through there?” I shake my head, stepping towards my sisters. “No. No fucking way.”
There are certain things in this world I categorically do not enjoy.
Running, for obvious fucking reasons.
Heights.
Tight spaces.
And apparently, the dark.
I’m learning new things about myself every gods-damned day, and it’s incredibly exhausting. Can’t a single day pass without it being an ordeal?
Gabriel, infuriating man that he is, tilts his head. He studies me like a predator watching his prey, tapping his fingers on his side.
“You’re not coming, Birdie?”
I hiss. I’m not sure if it’s his use of my family’s nickname or the question that stokes the flames of my anger.
“No, I’m not planning on it.” My voice is curt. “I don’t have a death wish.”
Who’s to say that this isn’t some twisted kind of trap? What if the moment my sisters and I go through the door, Gabriel slams it shut behind us, sealing us in? Or worse—a shudder runs down my spine, and my Mark burns—he guides the soldiers towards us?
My blood chills, and I step towards the girls.
“No,” I repeat as loudly as I dare, considering our circumstances. “We’re not going down there.”
Burning suns, I have had enough.
This day has gone on for what feels like forever. It is an all-consuming nightmare, and my exhaustion is so deep, it’s moved into my bones.
Every day feels like the worst one of my life, and that must be some kind of record.
I’ve already almost been killed tonight, and I lost a good friend.
The last thing I need is to potentially walk into a trap.
Prior to all this, I might’ve found comfort in praying to the Mother Goddess before stepping into the darkness, but now I know the truth.
Esyn doesn’t care about us. None of the gods do.
The prayers I learned and the stories I was told growing up are all fucking useless.
We are alone.
Gabriel’s eyes sweep over me. He passes his sword from one hand to the other, seeming to consider the situation before glancing in the direction we came from, then back to me.
“I could make you,” he suggests, raising a brow.
“What?”
He shrugs. “I could throw you over my shoulder and carry you.”