A Strange Awareness #2
“But do you know what’s weird?” I don’t wait for an answer. “I’m not sure I still hate him.”
Hatred is apparently much easier to maintain from a distance. At least, that’s how it’s been with us. I’m finding it increasingly difficult to loathe Gabriel when he seems so invested in keeping me out of the king’s hands.
Without him, I’d truly be alone.
There’s a moment’s pause, and then Chaos nudges my arm. I realize I’ve stopped brushing. With a chuckle, I restart my movements.
“Sorry. I was just thinking.” I’m always doing that, these days.
My memories of the night we left my sisters in Rosebridge are hazy, and even though I’m feeling more like myself, grief still exists inside me. A constant simmer, sometimes it boils over, drawing my attention to it and filling my heart with pain.
I don’t think it’ll ever go away.
Chaos’s tail flicks back and forth, as if he’s eager to leave.
“I’m sure we’ll be on our way as soon as Gabriel gets back,” I murmur.
That’s something else that’s changed. Apparently, Gabriel and I are a “we” now. At least for the time being. Not in a relationship sense—for the suns’ sakes, that will never fucking happen—but I can’t deny it any longer.
The Hunter is, for whatever reason, on my side.
We’ve had four more near run-ins with Watchers. Each time, Gabriel didn’t abandon me or decide that enough was enough and being on the run with me was too much work. If he’d turned me in, I doubt anyone would’ve blinked an eye. For fuck’s sake, he probably would’ve been rewarded.
But instead, he’s stayed.
Every.
Single.
Day.
He’s been by my side since the ball, and he’s put up with days of riding nonstop for me. And that fills me with a plethora of feelings that I’m not ready to unpack, but I know I won’t be able to ignore them forever.
“He confuses me,” I tell Chaos. “I don’t understand him.”
I’m not sure I ever will. Not when there’s much more to the Hunter than I first thought.
A branch snaps behind me, and I stiffen. My fingers curl around the round brush, and I place my other hand on Chaos’s flank, my spine straightening. A flame burns low in my stomach, and I know without turning around that the Hunter has returned.
This awareness is new.
I’m not sure whether it was born of us sharing the same horse, or from something deeper, but its existence is undeniable. I know he’s back, because my stupid heart is pounding wildly in my chest. Warm breath dances across the back of my neck, and I inhale sharply.
My hood is down, and my hair is tied in a bun with a piece of leather I found in the saddlebags. Putting my hair up seemed like a good idea earlier, but now I’m regretting that decision.
“Ready, Wren?” the Hunter asks, his voice low and deep and sending tingles sweeping down my spine.
The flame in my core burns brighter, as if someone threw a log onto a fire, and my fingers tremble.
Suns, it isn’t fair that I am so affected by Gabriel.
Life would be so much easier if I felt nothing but platonic, boring things for him.
Instead, here I am, enjoying the sound of his voice and the way his presence has my entire body paying attention.
My gaze drops to where Amelia’s bracelet dangles on my wrist, and I swallow. My best friend would know what to do, and I’m sure she would’ve had great advice for how to deal with this type of situation.
But she’s gone, and she’ll never be able to give me advice again.
“Yes, I’m ready,” I lie.
I’ll never be ready, but the sooner we go, the sooner we reach our mysterious destination. Gabriel said he knows where we’re going, but he hasn’t told me any more than that.
Chaos nickers, noticing that I’ve pulled the brush back. I pat his flank affectionately. “Sorry, buddy. That’s all the brushing for today.”
I turn around, intent on asking Gabriel where he’s been, but my words dry up as if I’ve eaten a mouthful of sand. The Hunter is standing right behind me. He is cast in shadows, but nothing can hide the shine of his emerald eyes.
My heart jumps. If I took a single step forward, my nose would brush his chest. As it is, on my next inhale, the Hunter’s warm, purely masculine scent fills my lungs.
“He seems to like you,” Gabriel says, flicking his gaze to Chaos, then back to me.
I swallow. Gabriel’s proximity is making it hard to think, let alone form words. “I . . . I like him, too.”
Animals and I have always gotten along, and I suspect we always will.
Gabriel lifts a brow and lowers his voice. “He doesn’t like many people.”
“Oh? He seems perfectly pleasant to me.”
For all my lack of time around horses, I haven’t had any problems with Chaos. It’s not his fault I’m sore or that I’ve never ridden before.
The Hunter comes closer. How is there room for him to do that?
My breath catches as he rests one hand on the horse’s side, lifting the other.
He moves slowly, as if giving me time to pull away, but I .
. . don’t. I just stand there, watching as the Hunter picks up a lock of hair that has fallen out of my bun.
He runs my curl through his fingers as if it’s a piece of fine silk and he’s a merchant judging how well it’s made.
Can he hear the thundering of my heart? Sense the way my lungs are struggling to draw breath?
Gabriel studies my hair for several long beats, entranced, before he tucks it behind my ear. His touch is soft. Verging on reverent.
And I . . .
Am a statue. Why the fuck aren’t I moving? Why aren’t I pulling away?
Suns, it’s like my sanity along with my ability to think properly vanish the moment Gabriel gets too close.
His fingers are still touching me, tracing the shell of my ear, and my mouth parts. This would be the moment to tell him to stop and step away, but I don’t do that, either.
Gabriel reaches for the leather tying my hair, tugging on it. The knot comes undone. My curls fall against my back, and he exhales shakily. Is he as affected by this as I am?
His breath brushes my cheek as he runs his fingers down my hair.
Move, I yell at myself. Why am I letting him touch me?
I should put a stop to this. I should jerk away and remind him of all the reasons why he and I will never be anything more than whatever we are right now.
There are so many things I should be doing, but instead, I stand there. Heat coils in my core, and every second feels like an eternity as the Hunter and I share the same air.
“It’s true,” he says, his voice raspy.
It takes me a moment to remember we were talking about the horse.
“Oh?” I whisper.
“He doesn’t have a great temperament, thanks to the way he was raised.”
I wet my lips, and even though I’m breathing, it feels like my lungs aren’t getting enough air. “Is that where he gets his name?”
“Among other reasons, yes.” Is it just me, or has the pitch of Gabriel’s voice lowered?
His hand shifts. He grazes my cheek, then my jaw. Softly. Carefully. What is he doing?
My pulse picks up, but I don’t move. “I see.”
I don’t, not really.
Gabriel’s brows knit together. “You know, he’s selective about the people he likes.”
“Is he?”
His dark gaze dips to my lips and lingers. “Extremely.”
The air between us is charged, and every second seems longer than the last. Why does it feel like we’re no longer talking about Chaos?
Gabriel’s thumb brushes the corner of my mouth, and his head lowers. There is a thundering drum in my chest as the Hunter closes the space between us, as if he’s going to kiss me.
And I’m . . .
Not pulling away.
My eyes flutter shut, and heat courses through me. What will his lips feel like when they meet mine? Will he kiss me softly? Gently? Or will his kiss be warm and urgent and full of all the things left unsaid between us?
I need to know.
Every second feels like a lifetime as I wait for his mouth to land on mine. Surely soon—
A feline cry rises in the distance. The sharp sound is a warning of some kind. It cuts off as quickly as it began, but the moment is already shattered.
My eyes fly open, and Gabriel inhales sharply. His head jerks up, his hand falls to the sword sheathed at his side, and his face hardens into that of the Hunter I know him to be.
“The dagger you had in the tunnels, do you still have it?” he asks, his voice back to normal as if we hadn’t been sharing an intense moment and he hadn’t been about to press his lips to mine.
“Of course.” I pat my hip where the weapon is sheathed.
Gabriel pulls my hood over my head, his thumb brushing my Mark, then my brows. A moment later, Mist runs out of the wood, her silver eyes wide. She comes to stand beside the Hunter, a growl rumbling through her.
“Good.” Gabriel pushes me deeper into the woods towards a cluster of pine trees. “Go and hide. Don’t come out until I come get you.”
My eyes dart around the forest, the hairs on the back of my neck prickling. “What’s going on?”
He ignores my question. “If anyone else comes, use your dagger. The sharp end goes in them.”
His belief that I’m completely incompetent with a weapon—while founded, considering my lack of education on the subject matter—irritates me, and I huff. “Understood. Keep the pointy end away from myself.”
“Exactly.” He jerks his head towards the trees. “Now go, little bird. Run.”
Once again, he’s ordering me to run.
And once again, even though everything else seems to be changing around me, I do as he says.
Metal rings as he yanks his sword from its sheath. I reach the hiding spot and drop to my knees, peering out from behind a thick tree, the dark brown bark gnarled and full of knots.
Less than a minute later, a deep tenor I don’t recognize echoes through the forest, filling my heart with fear.
We’re no longer alone.