13. I’ll Protect You
I’LL PROTECT YOU
WREN
White flakes tumble from the sky, and the wind’s icy fingers graze my cheeks. The moons are hidden behind clouds, but neither the snow nor the lack of light seem to impede Chaos. He has been carrying me and Gabriel towards our mysterious destination ever since we left The Ivory Spoon hours ago.
“Gabe?” I run my gloved fingers down Chaos’s mane, finally daring to ask the question that has been on my mind ever since Gabriel told me about the king’s message.
“Hmm?” His voice is a low rumble behind me, and my core heats.
“I would like to learn how to fight.” My words, said with as much confidence as I can muster, linger between us. “Will you teach me?”
After the encounter with Hedran and almost getting Gabriel killed with my helplessness, it’s become clear that I need to learn how to defend myself. In addition to fighting, I also want to learn how to ride and hunt (for prey, not people), but those don’t seem as important.
Silence stretches between us for so long that I think Gabriel might not have heard me. I turn in the saddle, one hand on the pommel to stay steady.
The Hunter is staring at me intently. “You want to fight with a sword?”
“Maybe one day, but I think a dagger would be a better starting point, don’t you?” I tried lifting a sword earlier, and it was so heavy that I nearly dropped it on my foot.
Gabriel raises a brow. “Is this your way of warning me that you plan to stab me, Birdie?”
“Not right now,” I admit before playfully adding, “but you do seem rather stabbable, all things considered.”
“Do I?” He appears bemused.
“Yes. I can envision a world where something like that happened.”
His lips twitch as though he’s holding back a smile. “I see.”
“You can’t blame me, Gabe. Given our complicated history, it makes sense.”
Just because things have been easier between us the past few days doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten everything he’s put me through. Do I want to stab him right now? No. Would I have done so when he found me in Mora if I thought it would’ve helped me get away? In a fucking heartbeat.
“I suppose you’re right.” He looks at my Mark, and several beats pass before he inclines his head. “It would be good for you to know how to defend yourself, especially since your magic is . . .” His voice trails off, and he grimaces.
“Unreliable?” I suggest.
“Well, I wasn’t going to put it like that, being as stabbable as I apparently am”—his lips quirk, and this time I’m sure he’s biting back a smile—“but yes.”
Gabriel is right. Even though I’ve worked out that my magic is at least partially linked to my emotions, I don’t know how to control it. At best, it rises at inopportune moments. At worst, it will get us killed.
“So you’ll teach me?”
He hums. “Yes, little bird. I will.”
Surprised that I didn’t have to push Gabriel to agree, I settle against his chest once more. His natural warmth envelops me, and when he wraps his arm around my stomach, I can’t help but focus on the way his fingers spread across me, holding me to him.
I feel safe, and that’s unusual. Not for the first time, I’m taken aback by how things are shifting between me and Gabriel. Things have felt surprisingly easy today, ever since he told me about his nightmare.
Earlier, he procured food for us and restocked our supplies while I washed up and redid my braid. We ate a lackluster stew, commenting on the missing seasoning, and he told me all about the dragon before we spent the remainder of the day quietly in our room.
It had been nice. Normal, even. A comfortable silence had stretched between us. He passed the time sharpening his various weapons while I read a book I found in the nightstand.
Once night fell, Gabriel snuck me out of the back of the inn to where Chaos was waiting, already saddled. A trio of Protectors had apparently joined the Enforcer from the night before at the bar, rendering passing through the main tavern impossible.
Gabriel had helped me into the saddle before swinging up behind me.
His arms had wrapped around my middle, reaching for the reins, and I’d allowed my body to mold against his.
Resting my head on his chest, I’d relaxed as much as possible.
The Hunter had let out a sound of surprise, but instead of pushing me away, he held me even closer and murmured a command to Chaos.
Hours have passed since then. It’s a cold night, and I’m grateful for the cloak and gloves Maia sent as I snuggle up to Gabriel.
I’m all warm and tingly inside, both from our proximity and the knowledge he isn’t unaffected by this, either. His hardened length has been digging into my backside all night, and based on the way he’s holding me to him even closer than normal, I don’t think it’s merely a physical reaction.
“Let’s take a break,” Gabriel declares a short while later. Mist had been running alongside us, but she disappeared into the woods a few minutes ago.
Gabriel tugs on Chaos’s reins, and the gelding obediently alters course. Not long after that, we stop near a babbling, fast-moving brook. The trees are bare save for a few stray leaves, and a light dusting of snow covers the ground.
Gabriel hops out of the saddle with an ease I can only hope to attain one day. I hold on to the pommel as he leads Chaos to the water’s edge, slipping the reins over a nearby hanging branch. Turning around, he removes his gloves and slides them into his pocket.
“Need a hand?” he asks.
Since I’ve yet to master dismounting and I’d rather not suffer a head injury, I nod. Gabriel’s hands land on my hips, and he lifts me off the saddle, placing me on the ground.
Usually, this is when he steps back and gives me space. Tonight, he does no such thing. Gabriel’s hands tighten around me, and I suck in a breath. I’m not a small woman, but the way his fingers spread around me, spanning my hips and brushing the tops of my thighs, makes me feel tiny.
A rush of heat sweeps through me, and my lips part as I stare up at him.
“Fighting isn’t easy, little bird.” His thumbs sweep across my hips, searing despite the layers of clothing between us.
“I expect it isn’t.” My words come out breathier than normal.
Gabriel tilts his head, but he doesn’t step back or give me space. “Are you sure you want to learn?”
“Absolutely.” I never want to feel defenseless again, and I’m tired of depending on others to guard me.
I want to be able to look after myself so I can help other people.
He lowers his voice. Steps into my space, not that there was much room to begin with, and my fingers twitch at my sides.
“You know I’ll protect you, right? I hope I made that clear when I dealt with Hedran.”
When he killed his fellow Hunter for me.
It’s because he’s meant to be yours, a voice whispers in the back of my mind.
The voice and its claim aren’t new, but for the first time, I don’t hate what it’s implying. Yes, Gabriel issued me the head start, but he’s done so much since then. Looked after me, helped me stay alive when I had no one else.
Maybe . . .
Maybe he is meant to be mine.
“I have reached that conclusion,” I whisper.
Gabriel’s lips kick up, and gods above, he is so ridiculously handsome, it really isn’t fair. He’s always been rugged, but when he adds a smile to the mix, I’m defenseless against him.
“Good.” The Hunter reaches into his cloak, withdrawing his dagger. Passing it from one hand to the other, he studies it for a long moment before he looks back at me.
“I hope . . .” He swallows, his voice uncharacteristically rough. “I hope that maybe one day, you’ll forgive me for hunting you, Wren.”
I stare at him. Could I do that? Forgive him and forget about everything he’s put me through? It’s one thing to no longer hate him, but this . . .
My heart crashes against my ribs, thunderous beats that resonate through my whole body. “Gabe, I . . . I don’t . . .”
He shakes his head. “You don’t need to give me an answer right now. All I’m asking is that you think about it.”
And what am I supposed to say to that? No? After everything he’s done for me?
I exhale shakily. “Okay. I’m not promising anything, but I’ll give it some thought.”
“Thank you, Birdie.” He draws in a deep breath, and when he exhales, any hint of vulnerability has been washed from his face. He is all business as he instructs, “Take out your dagger. Your first lesson starts now.”
Gabriel moves behind me, and I draw my blade. His fingers dance across my arms and legs, each touch far too fleeting as he helps me adjust my stance.
Once he seems happy with my posture, he steps back and explains the different parts of the dagger.
I do my best to focus on his words and not on the intense way he’s looking at me.
After, he shows me how to draw the blade from its sheath without making a sound, and I practice while he feeds Chaos until the movement feels like second nature.
My lips twitch into a smile.
The old Wren who snuck into the temple to watch her friend’s Giving Ceremony would never be here. Neither would Amelia, honestly. This is a choice I’ve made for me, to protect myself. No one else is asking it of me. Not my sisters, not another gods-blessed, not even Gabriel.
Even getting back on Chaos to continue our journey doesn’t dampen my mood, and as Gabriel gets in the saddle behind me, I brush my fingers over the hilt of my dagger.
For the first time in what feels like forever, I’m finally doing something for myself. Right now, I’m not a gods-blessed. I’m not on the run. I’m not even the middle child in a family of five.
I’m just me, and it’s amazing.