23. My Fault #2
Skyler looks at me, and I suppose that since this was my idea, I get to be the one to explain why we’re here. The captain looks fierce, a warrior through and through, and I’d be lying if I said he wasn’t scary to look at.
But frightening man or not, I’m here for a reason, and I won’t back down. The old Wren had no place in a battlefield like this. She wouldn’t have volunteered to fight—the thought wouldn’t have crossed her mind. But I’m not that woman any longer, and I haven’t been for a long time.
I need to find a new place, a new purpose, and this feels like the first step in the right direction.
“We’re here to fight.” Swallowing my fear, I step towards Alaric and lift my arms. My sleeves slip back, displaying the shadestone cuffs. “If you take these off, I can help. We both can.”
I can finally fight back. No more staring over a thin ledge or standing by helplessly as my friends lose their lives. No more waiting around, wondering when the king is going to come for me.
“You wish to assist us? Fight on our side?” he clarifies.
I don’t trust myself to speak without my voice shaking, so I incline my head.
Another moment of silence. Another scream. The air pulses with urgency in time with my heart.
“I won’t deny that we could use you, but . . . Gods. A Hunter, fighting with us. One of the king’s own.” Clearly conflicted, Alaric grits his teeth and scrubs a hand down his face. “I never thought I’d see the day. You’ve really turned your back on them?” he asks Gabriel.
“I have,” he replies without a beat of hesitation.
A long moment passes as the captain studies Gabriel. “Suns help me, I must be going mad, but I believe you.”
“You’ll take off the cuffs?” I ask.
He inhales, still looking troubled. “I’m thinking about it.”
“Please.” I can’t hide the desperation in my voice, the eagerness I have to be freed from these shackles.
“If I do, and you hurt one of my people . . .” Alaric shakes his head. “Gods help me, you will quickly find that your first stay with us was rather luxurious, all things considered.”
His threat is clear.
Turn on them and pay the consequences.
He doesn’t need to worry about that. I shouldn’t even be here right now—I was destined for death. King Andreas has made his position on the matter clear. Even though the rebels’ earlier treatment of me was rough, and even though they hurt Gabriel, they haven’t tried to kill either of us.
It’s a low bar, but their lack of murderous intentions means something.
“I understand and agree to your terms,” I say.
Alaric turns to Gabriel. “And you, Hunter?”
“I accept,” he says instantly, his shoulder brushing against mine. “Nothing could convince me to leave her side.”
Before, that kind of declaration would’ve bothered me. Now, everything has changed, and I can’t imagine doing this without Gabriel.
The captain grabs a sword from an injured fighter being brought inside for treatment and hands it to Gabriel with a grumbled “Do not make me regret this.”
Gabriel nods, and Alaric retrieves a key from his pocket. He removes Gabriel’s manacles, sliding them onto his belt.
Alaric turns to me, and I’ve already extended my wrists towards him. He takes my right hand and inserts the key into the cuff.
Even with the battle’s chaos, the click of the lock releasing is as loud as a clap of thunder. A rushing, roaring sound fills my ears as the first cuff falls off, and the tingling inside me increases tenfold. It feels as though lightning is trapped under my skin.
This is nothing like what happened on the night of the ball. My magic had exploded out of me that night, but this . . .
This feels different.
“Last one,” the captain says, but his words sound like they’re coming from a distance.
All I can focus on is the key as it slides into the lock. The twist of Alaric’s wrist. The sound of the lock unlatching.
And then . . .
Freedom.
My lungs expand, and my chest feels light as though a weight has been lifted off me. The tingling spreads through me, consuming me. I can feel it in my fingers. My toes. Inside and out, it touches my entire being.
Alaric places the manacles into his pocket and says something to Skyler, but even though their mouths are moving, their words don’t reach my ears.
Waves are crashing inside me, a storm ready to burst. The roaring is so loud, I can’t hear anything else. My heart is thundering, desperate to break free from the confines of my chest.
Everything is a blur as my body adjusts to the feeling of my magic once again.
At some point, we move to the base of the mountain near the other Marked Ones.
Four men and two women stand in a line, sweat dripping down their brows as they lob seemingly endless waves of colored magic towards the soldiers.
It doesn’t take long to realize they are the reason the king’s soldiers haven’t overtaken the mountain. There’s a stirring inside me, a yearning to stand next to them.
This is what I’m meant for, and I will do this. Not just for me, but for Amelia and Kadyn and the entire community who is in jeopardy because Gabriel and I led the king’s soldiers to their doorstep.
I inhale deeply and close my eyes, relying on Gabriel to shield me. Spreading my hands at my sides, I look inside myself and seek out the sparks that have been gathering beneath my skin for days.
And they’re . . . gone.
What the fuck? Where did they go?
I suck in a panicked breath, searching inside myself. The magic should be here—I felt it. But I can’t find it—all there is is darkness all around me.
Oh, gods.
What if I was wrong? What if I can’t do this? What if all these people die because of me? What if Gabriel dies?
Panic flares in my gut, and it’s so intense I almost miss it.
A flicker of blue, deep within me. The flash of light is barely there, a faint glimmer. Instinctively, I know it’s what I’ve been searching for. Hope blazes brightly, and I concentrate on the glow, trying to figure out how to make it work for me.
Please, I beg. Who am I asking? The suns? My magic? The gods that I don’t think are real? I’m not sure. All I know is that this must work. I need to be able to do this.
The blue spark is tiny, a wisp of light among swaths of darkness, but I reach for it, clutching it in the palm of my hand.
I inhale, and the spark is in my grasp. And when I exhale, tingles wash over me. Magic envelops me. The feeling intensifies, and then I open my eyes.