25. An Endless Night
AN ENDLESS NIGHT
GAbrIEL
Cold.
I am so gods-damned cold. It feels as though I’ve been immersed in frigid, icy waters and left there for hours.
My thoughts are moving lethargically, and each one has to be plucked from the recesses of my mind.
Thinking has never been so difficult.
I open my eyes, a strangled moan slipping from my lips. I am lying on a barren, flat, snow-covered expanse that stretches as far as my eyes can see. The air has no scent, no crispness of fresh snow, no trace of winter. It’s completely empty.
This isn’t right. Is it? I’m not sure. What the fuck is happening?
I look up at the sky, but it’s wrong, too. A few stars shimmer, but even though there are no clouds, the moons are nowhere to be seen.
Where am I?
“Hello?” I call out, the word raspy and distant as if it came from outside me.
There’s no response, no movement at all. There is no breeze. No wind. Endless shivers cascade down my back, and I can’t get them to stop. I’m not sure if this is a dream or something else. Am I dead? If I were, wouldn’t Adros be here to welcome me to the afterlife?
I don’t know.
After a time, I stumble to my feet. The cold bites through my shoes, my clothes providing inadequate protection against the weather. I don’t know where I’m going, but I start walking.
Putting my feet in front of me is grounding in a way. Left, then right. Again and again.
I’m not sure how much time passes as I traverse this vacant, icy plane. I search my mind for information, but it’s as empty as this place. I can’t even remember my own gods-damned name, let alone how I got here.
Following instincts I don’t really understand, I keep walking north. Or at least, I think it’s north. I could be getting the direction wrong. There’s nothing to guide me save for instinct.
Every thought hurts.
I hike for what feels like hours before something shifts in the distance. A crimson shimmer that breaks through the darkness. A cry rises in my throat, and emboldened by the sight of something new, I move faster.
More time passes. An hour? Two? I’m not sure, but eventually, I reach the crimson light. It’s a rope. The braided cord is thick and easy to grasp, tinged with red embers. One end is rooted in ice and the other stretches towards the sky.
Following instincts I don’t entirely understand, I seize the cord. A familiar warmth fills me, and instantly, my body relaxes. There is a presence attached to this that I recognize even if I cannot put a name to it.
After a few minutes, I scan the horizon. There’s another thread. Distant, shimmering, and golden, it’s thin and stretched taut. It doesn’t seem to have a beginning or an end.
That’s the key—I know it.
It’s so much further than this crimson rope, so far I can barely see it. And yet, I have nothing else to do. Nowhere else to be. So I release the crimson rope and start moving towards it.
I’m not sure how long I walk before a voice breaks through the never-ending silence of this frigid place.
“Help . . . him . . .” The words are choppy and broken, and for some strange reason, they’re familiar. That doesn’t make sense because I don’t even know who I am.
I look around for the source, but the situation remains unchanged.
“Please . . .” the voice continues. “This has to work . . . He’s . . .”
A heartbeat later, flames erupt inside me. They engulf me, devouring me from the inside out. Destroying me.
I am fire, and fire is me. Was I ever cold?
Now I am a conflagration, burning alive.
The fire blazes, ripping through me and consuming me. I lift my head and scream, falling to my knees as pain races through me.
I look down at my hands, expecting to see them covered in flames, but they are normal, grasping at the snow as if that will help the fire inside me.
I don’t . . .
I don’t understand.
A different voice. A man’s. “We’re trying, but . . .”
The fire burns hotter and hotter.
I cry out, the sound reverberating through this place of nothing.
“Help him!” the familiar female voice says.
The fire gets worse. I’m burning, burning, burning, until . . .
A strange pain fills my chest. Something washes through me, dousing the flames. They extinguish slowly, leaving me in the cold. Clouds come and cover the stars. They blink out one by one. The feeling of wrongness intensifies.
“Please, keep him alive,” the first voice says. It’s growing fainter, or maybe I’m fading away.
“We’ll do our best.”
Time passes. The endless night remains, and the only source of light is that golden glimmer in the distance.
I’m sure it’s my salvation, but it’s so far away.
And I’m so, so tired.
“Please.” The first voice is back, and it’s quiet. “Come back to me.”
And there’s something about that voice, the way my body strains towards it, that has me forcing myself onto unsteady feet. I take several steps, stumbling towards the rope. Walking isn’t grounding anymore. Each step hurts.
I walk and walk until a pain blooms in my chest. My arms. My legs. There isn’t a part of me that isn’t affected.
I try to keep moving, but my feet slip. I crash headfirst against the ice. A sickening crack fills my ears before the darkness swallows me whole.