Chapter 19
Nina
Mary sent me home early, but I couldn’t let Nana Sue see me like this.
Hiding my emotions had never been my strong suit, and Nana didn’t need the extra stress.
She was the only family I had left, and the last thing I wanted to do was upset her by telling her I’d just learned the names of my birth parents.
Oh, and they might be criminals, and I might be in danger.
No way would I dump all that on her.
The Novak’s had loved me like their own.
I’d called them mom and dad growing up.
Their deaths left a gaping hole in my heart.
Nana Sue loved me like her own. Her death will leave another, and I’ll truly be all alone.
Or would I? What if my biological parents were still alive? Would they want to meet me? Would I want to meet them?
I’d written them out of my life, but hadn’t erased them from my mind. They left me a Jane Doe, with nothing but my first name embroidered on a baby blanket decorated with cherries and hearts, and a teddy bear.
It didn’t matter that they might be alive; I didn’t need them. For most of my life, I hadn’t given them a second thought. Liar.
Except for when I had to fill out paperwork that asked for my family’s medical background.
Bobby and Jodie were my parents, but we didn’t share DNA. Their medical history wasn’t mine. So far, I’d been lucky and no inherited medical issues had made themselves known.
When I thought of my birth parents, which was more often than I wanted to admit, I’d make up stories about why they’d left me.
The top reason was always that they simply didn’t want me.
Did they drop me off somewhere, hoping a stranger would care for me?
That was one explanation for how I ended up in a stranger’s car while they died in their burning house.
The state conducted DNA tests, so I knew I wasn’t related to the couple that died.
Did the strangers steal me?
I fantasized about that one a lot because it’d mean my parents hadn’t tossed me away like yesterday’s trash, but the police searched and according to my parents, the Novaks, I hadn’t matched any missing person’s report so that explanation didn’t make sense.
The fantastical story I’d tell myself was that my parents were some kind of superspies and had to give me up while they saved the world.
But that doesn’t happen in real life.
In my fantasy, my parents would come find me, and we’d be a family again.
In real life, it never happened.
In real life, everyone left me. Nana Sue was the only family I had left, and she was on borrowed time.
Wanting to settle down before taking Nana to her appointment, I went to the local library to read.
I can’t concentrate.
My mind kept bringing up the picture of my parents.
Two people I’d never met.
Austin said their names are Travis and Melissa Singer. Are they still alive?
In the short time I’d held the worn photo, I’d memorized their smiling faces. Faces with features just like mine.
Did they love me? If they were so happy, why’d they give me away?
And why is there no record?
For the first time in my life, it occurred to me that July fifth might not be my birthday. Does Austin know my birth date?
Did the adoption agency pick a date at random? Did they use age markers to make a best guess, like they do with stray cats?
Tears filled my eyes and slow-rolled down my cheeks.
Who am I?
Why are Steel and his mean friend asking me questions about my parents? What do they know? How do they know?
Will my life ever be the same?
I had a sinking feeling that the answer was no. But will it get better or worse?
“Are you feeling okay?” My grandmother asked as we walked to my car.
“Yeah, why?”
“You don’t seem like yourself.”
That was a loaded statement if ever I’d heard one. How do I tell her I no longer feel like myself? That I don’t know who I am anymore.
That a blast from the past steamrolled into my life, and now my world was upside down.
If I hadn’t run into Steel, would I still be just Nina Suzzette Novak, a twenty-six-year-old college student and assistant manager at Grannie’s?
Was he at the party because he was looking for me?
No, that didn’t make sense. Austin was John and Mary’s nephew, and he hadn’t acted weird at the party.
“Nina?”
“Sorry, Nana.”
I folded her walker and shoved it into the back seat. By the time I slid behind the wheel, I had a smile on my face. And thanks to counting my blessings and focusing on my grandmother, I had love in my heart.
Nana didn’t deserve the pain that hearing about the chaos running amuck in my mind would cause.
She loved me and would want to comfort me, but it was my turn to be here for her.
After I backed out of the driveway, Nana asked, “Something’s obviously eating at you. Talking might help.”
Maybe, but I doubted it. Even if it would, I wouldn’t stress her out by bringing it up on the drive to see her doctor.
Stage four cancer was robbing her of her life.
Because of her age and pre-existing thyroid issues, her doctors didn’t recommend chemotherapy.
Sadly, the tyrosine kinase inhibitors weren’t effective, and the side effects were wrecking havoc on her system, destroying her quality of life for what little time she had left.
“Maybe after your appointment,” I said, forcing a smile, knowing she’d take a nap afterwards, like she always did.
If I were lucky, she’d forget all about my worries by the time we sat down for dinner.