Chapter 34
Austin
After a dozen unexpected hugs goodbye, I walked Nina to the loaner John had given me.
The black sedan had bulletproof windows, providing me with protection I hoped I’d never need.
After making sure Nina was safely buckled, I closed her door and jogged around the front of the car.
I waved to the guys on the front lawn as I pulled away.
“Austin?”
“Yeah?”
“How do you know where I live?” She finished the sentence with a yawn.
She’d clearly forgotten that I’d come to her house to pick up her blanket and teddy bear.
Before I could answer, she said, “Never mind. You know everything.” She leaned her head back and sighed.
“Not everything.”
“How can SSI afford to pay someone to watch my house all the time if I’m not paying them?” She changed the subject.
Because I’m paying the bill for the extra manpower, if John lets me.
She wouldn’t want to hear that, and I didn’t want to argue, so I took the coward’s way out and said, “You’ll have to ask John.”
He was providing her bodyguard free of charge, and Ryan and I were doing most of the investigating. On Uncle Sam’s dime. Her taxes paid our salaries, so we wouldn’t be charging her for our services.
Driving her home isn’t part of the job. My internal voice sounded a lot like Gibson’s.
I told him to shut up.
“So who’s at my house again?”
“Frank will relieve Matt, so he and Madi can go home. He’s one of the local cops who works part-time for John,” I answered. “Matt will come back in the morning.”
“So Matt will be with me all day tomorrow?”
“No, Sammie will relieve Matt late tomorrow morning and stay with you at the shop.”
“But then who’ll watch my grandmother?”
“Frank.”
“But he’s there now?”
I couldn’t blame her for the confusion. The circumstances changed constantly, and she had a revolving door of people surrounding her and her grandmother.
“Nina, trust me, and if you can’t trust me, trust John. We won’t leave you or your grandmother unprotected.”
“But—”
“No, no buts. Trust.”
She had no reason to trust me, but surely John had earned her trust over the years.
“Did Ryan find anything?”
“No, nothing yet. He’ll start again in the morning.”
“Why are you guys doing this for me?” Her voice faded as emotion got the best of her.
“Nina,” I sighed. How could I explain how loaded that question was without sounding like my normal dickheaded self?
Since when do you care about sounding like a dick? Gibson in my head asked.
Since this case involved my family.
Since seeing Nina small and vulnerable destroyed me.
Since I fucked up and caught feelings for Nina.
“What?”
I ignored her sharp tone, knowing she was stressed and scared.
“This case is about more than you or your parents.”
“So I’m just a part of the case?”
Great, now she sounds hurt, scared, and annoyed.
Great job, Winchester, Gibson’s voice echoed my thoughts.
“No, it’s not like that.”
What’s it like?
Gibson needed to shut his fucking pie hole and get out of my head.
I added, “It’s complicated.”
“Because John is your uncle?”
“That’s part of it, yes,” I agreed. “But there’s more to it.” I care about you.
“Fine.” She turned her head and stared into the night, clearly not buying the bullshit I was peddling.
Nina wasn’t fine. I wasn’t fine. Nothing about this fucked up situation was fine.
I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. “What do you want to know?” I asked, despite knowing there wasn’t a lot I could tell her.
“Nothing.”
“Nina,” I said, drawing out her name.
“What? It’s not like you’ll tell me.”
That wasn’t fair; I’d been more open with her than I’d ever been with a person of interest. I cringed; Nina was just a POI anymore.
She doesn’t know that.
“Just go back to being all mean and steely,” she said.
Movement caught my eye, and I turned just in time to see her wipe a tear.
Asshole. Finally, it was my voice in my head. Not that my words were any better than G’s.
Nina deserved answers, but I didn’t have as many as she assumed I did.
Nina deserved softness. She’d had a rough start, lived her life with gaping holes in her biologic history, worked her ass off to take care of her grandmother while earning her degree.
Nina was the kind of woman who handled problems with a smile. Sure, her smile was often fake, but the average person didn’t care enough to see past it.
I do.
She was the type of woman I admired, the kind who didn’t let life keep her down. When life threw a problem at Nina, she put her head down and got to work—unlike my ex.
Too bad she can’t solve this problem with hard work.
But I could. I could enlist every trusted resource I had, lean more on John and SSI, and use every skill the Navy and the CIA taught me to solve this case and protect her.
Nina deserved a hero who could sweep her off her feet, take her on romantic dates, and carry some of her burden.
I’m not him.
My attraction to her didn’t eliminate my hardened exterior, or heal the wounds left by my ex-wife, or erase the twelve years separating us.
Twelve might not seem like a lot between two adults, but she also worked for my aunt and was therefore off limits.
What would John and Mary say if they could read my mind? I could tell they’d taken Nina under the family umbrella, even if Nina couldn’t. My aunt and uncle did little things behind the scenes, things she wouldn’t necessarily notice, to help and support her.
Like creating a full-time assistant manager position at Grannie’s, claiming Mary wanted more free time to watch her grandchildren.
And John refusing to accept payment for SSI’s time. When I’d tried arguing, he told me they don’t charge family. Nina wouldn’t believe me, but he hadn’t meant just me.
Hell, if it were just me, he’d likely charge me for all the hassle I’d caused.
Or for constantly insulting his team.
I’d seen the look in her eyes when I said I’d cover SSI’s expenses; it was a mix of gratitude and disbelief, with a splash of rebellion. I’d put money on Nina trying to pay John or repay me. Just like she’d offered to pay to clean my shirt.
While I contemplated all this in my head, Nina succumbed to the exhaustion, probably feeling alone and afraid.
All because I couldn’t take my head out of my ass, be a decent human, and offer her the comfort she needed. Comfort I wanted to give, but shouldn’t.
She deserves so much better than me.
Nina’s soft snores filled the car. Cute. What would it be like to hold her and fall asleep to the soft, rhythmic sound of her snoring? Best not to think about it, since it can never happen.
In her driveway, I let her sleep while I texted Frank.
It’s Winchester. I’m dropping off Nina.
Thanks.
All quiet?
Yes, sir.
I’m walking Nina to her door.
Copy that. Want back up?
Overwatch is fine.
I didn’t need him getting out of the car and alerting people to his presence.
After reading his confirmation, I slipped out from behind the wheel and walked to the passenger side.
Unfortunately, I woke Nina when I reached over to unbuckle her seat beld.
“Mmm, you smell good,” she said sleepily.
I ignored her words and my body’s reaction to them.
When I lifted her out of the car, she wrapped her arms around my neck and nuzzled into me.
Fuck, she feels good in my arms. I couldn’t remember the last time something felt so right. Why did it have to be with a woman I had no right wanting?
“You’re so strong,” she said into my chest. “Like the Man of Steel.” Nina laughed at her exhaustion induced joke.
I forced a chuckle, but couldn’t laugh with her. Superman was a hero. I wasn’t.
Halfway to the door, Nina fully woke up. And freaked out.
When she flailed, I almost dropped her.
“Shh, it’s okay, Cherry. It’s just me. You’re safe.” I held her tighter so she wouldn’t take a violent plunge to the ground.
“Austin?” she asked.
“It’s me.”
“Put me down.” Gone was the sleepy tone and the admiration.
“Okay,” I said, hoping she’d recognize the joke.
Once her feet were firmly on the ground and she was standing without my help, she asked, “Why were you carrying me?”
“You fell asleep in the car.”
My answer made perfect sense to me, but not to Nina.
“So?” she asked, before shuffling her feet and wringing her hands. Several emotions crossed her face. One side effect of the mental and emotional exhaustion, she wasn’t hiding behind a fake smile as often.
Which meant I could see what was really going on inside that beautiful head of hers.
In the end, she said, “I’m sorry I fell asleep.”
“Don’t apologize.”
“Sorry.”
As suspected, Nina was a people pleaser and couldn’t stop apologizing to save her life. But standing on the well-lit walking path to the front door of her cute ranch house wasn’t the time or the place to bring it to her attention.
It’s not your place. And it’d never be my time.
“Let’s get you inside.”
I placed my hand on her lower back and told myself it was strictly professional.
I lied, but it didn’t matter. The only person I was hurting was myself.
My developing feelings for Nina were inappropriate for so many reasons.
To remind myself, I listed them.
She’s a person of interest.
I’m responsible for her safety.
She’s too young for me.
I’m a heartless fucking robot.
She works for my aunt.
She deserves so much more than I can give her.
With Nina safely inside, Madi and I left. Matt met us at the driveway and after a quick chat, we parted ways.
Before starting the car, I texted Gibson.
It’s time to call your contact.