Chapter 37
Nina
Islept like shit. I felt like shit. My life had turned into a flaming pile of shit.
And I couldn’t confide in the one person I needed the most. There was no way I’d risk giving her information that’d put her in danger. Or risk upsetting Austin and everyone at SSI. They’re all doing so much to help me.
Nana’s voice disrupted my thoughts. “Nina,” her cough sounded like an angry dog barking and continued far longer than I liked.
“Nana, are you okay?” I asked, reaching for her used tissue when it finally stopped.
Blood. Not a lot, but enough to make me nervous.
“Here, come sit, and I’ll make you some warm tea with honey.”
“Thank you, dear.” Nana leaned more than usual on her walker and practically fell into her seat, adding to my growing concern.
Tears filled my eyes as water filled the teapot.
Scared. Frustrated. Angry. Stressed the fuck out.
I couldn’t leave Nana alone today. I couldn’t afford to call off from work. I couldn’t handle anymore things going wrong in my life. I couldn’t afford to pay anyone to help lighten the load.
I sucked in a deep breath, reminded myself of Nana’s advice—smile through it and remember, it could be worse. After releasing my breath, I plastered a smile on my face and turned to face my grandmother.
“What should I make for dinner tonight?” I asked. “Oh, I know, I’ll make your famous beef stew.”
It was my dad’s favorite comfort food. Mine too. He’d insisted on Nana teaching my mom and me how to make it. I grabbed a package of frozen meat out of the freezer and placed it in the fridge.
Nana almost dropped her blue rose teacup when another coughing fit struck.
Another piece of my heart cracked. Watching her slowly fade before my eyes would destroy me, but I’d heard such awful things about low budget homes for sick elderly people that I couldn’t bear the thought of putting her in the only home I could afford.
Knowing I couldn’t go to work with Nana like this, I called Mary.
Saturdays were busy at the shop, so calling off would leave Mary in a bind.
“I understand.”
“Please don’t fire me,” I begged as the tears broke free and rolled down my cheeks.
“Nina, I would never fire you for taking care of your grandmother.”
“But I’ve had to call off more often.”
After a pause, Mary asked, “If you’d like, I could ask Matt to stay with your grandmother?”
Would he do that? Would Nana be okay with him, a stranger, in her house? How do I explain why he’s here?
My emotional energy tank was dry as a bone, and as selfish as it sounded, I didn’t want to stay home all day wallowing in self pity while watching my grandmother cough up a lung.
At least at work, I’d have people to talk to and plenty of tasks to keep me busy. And I could check on Nana throughout the day, to keep my worry at bay.
“Do you think he’d mind?”
“No, and he has medical training, so he’ll be handy if anything happens.”
I didn’t think his military medical training would help him deal with her cancer, but I was desperate to accept Mary’s lifeline.
“Does he know how to care for a cancer patient?” I asked awkwardly. It wasn’t like he had to perform surgery or give her a chemo. He’d basically do what I’d done, but if Nana was extra weak, he’d have to help her around the house.
“Why don’t I text him and ask him to go inside so you can talk to him?”
I gave my default—I’m too fucking tired to argue anymore—response. The one Austin hates. “Okay.”
Knowing I sounded rude and ungrateful and that Mary deserved better, I added, “Thank you, Mary.”
Two minutes later, a soft knock sounded at the door. As I approached, I heard Matt say, “It’s Matt.”
I still double checked before opening the door.
“Hey, Mary said your grandmother is having a rough day.”
“She’s having severe coughing attacks,” I admitted.
“Right.” He nodded, looking towards the kitchen where my grandmother sat staring at the small TV on the counter. “I’d be happy to stay with her so you can go to work.”
When he noticed my hesitation, Matt said, “We’ll be fine.” His soft smile did more to put me at ease than his words. “Why don’t you introduce us and let me handle the rest.”
“Okay,” I whispered as my head bobbed up and down.
Matt followed me to the kitchen.
“Nana Sue, I’d like you to meet someone.”
She turned, looking less pale than she had earlier. That’s a good sign. Maybe it’d be okay to leave her with Matt.
“Oh my, is this handsome young man your new boyfriend?”
My jaw just about hit the floor. Matt would be a ginormous step up from the last guy I’d dated, but he was engaged to Madi.
As if that’s the only reason. Like Austin, Matt was out of my league.
“No, ma’am.” He offered Nana his hand. “I’m Matt, one of Nina’s friends.”
My jaw still hadn’t fully recovered, so I stood there with it gaping open like a fish out of water.
When she stood, because manners still mattered even though she was too weak to walk, to shake his hand, Matt said, “Please, sit. We’re all friends here.”
Matt’s hand lingering near Nana’s elbow as she sat back down was all the confirmation I needed that he’d take good care of her.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Novak.”
“Please, it’s Sue,” Nana said, like she did to everyone. She hated the formality of being called Mrs. Novak.
“Thank you, Sue.”
Nana Sue noticed the scars on Matt’s arm and asked, “What happened to your arm?”
“Nana!”
“It’s okay, Nina. If you’re okay with me staying with you, I’ll tell you all about while Nina goes to work.”
“Oh, I don’t need a babysitter.” She waved as if shooing him away.
I should’ve known Nana would see through his half-truth.
“No, I can see that. How about you keep me company while I wait for Nina to get home?”
“You aren’t one of those jobless guys who expects his friends to support him, are you?” Nana rushed to protect me. If the situation weren’t so dire, I would’ve cheered her on.
“No, ma’am.” Matt flashed a megawatt smile that would’ve been dangerous if I’d had a crush on him. If I weren’t lusting after a certain steely-eyed CIA officer. ”My job schedule is chaotic, and today is one of my days off.”
Liar. He was working extra hard today. SSI offered many services, but taking care of an old woman dying of cancer wasn’t one of them.
Nana Sue stared at Matt, sizing him up. He placed his clasped hands on the table and waited patiently for her to finish.
“Well, that’s good. Would you like to stay and have dinner with us tonight?”
“I’d love to, but unfortunately I have to work this evening,” Matt answered.
He’s really good at this. Where’d he learn to be so patient and compassionate? It didn’t seem like something he would’ve learned in the SEALs.
“Maybe another night. You seem like a nice boy; just the type Bobby and Jodie would’ve wanted for Nina.”
“My parents,” I whispered. Talking was much easier now that my jaw was working.
“I know,” he whispered back. Of course, he knew. Everyone knew all the messy details of my life. Hell, Austin knew more about parts of my life than I did.
Matt turned to my grandmother. “Mrs. Novak, I’d love to talk more after I walk Nina to the door.”
“Such a gentleman. He’s a keeper,” she gushed.
Madi thinks so.
At the door, Matt said, “I’m happy to stay, but the decision is yours.”
“I don’t want to leave her, but I can’t afford to lose another day’s pay. You’re sure you’re okay staying?”
“I’m fine. I have a lot of experience dealing with teens with drug problems; this isn’t that different.”
It sounded leaps and bounds different, but what did I know?
“Thank you. Nana naps most of the day, so you’ll probably be bored.”
“It’s better than sitting in a car staring at a street all day,” Matt chuckled. “I’ll send updates as often as you want so you don’t have to worry.”
How often would be enough? How often would be too much and get me in trouble? Finally, I asked, “Is hourly okay?”
“Hourly is fine.”
“Do you need my phone number?” As soon as the question was out, I regretted it.
“I have it.”
Of course he did. Everyone at SSI probably had my phone number.
“Does this mean you’re going to work?” he asked.
“Yes, but if anything happens, call me and I’ll come right home.”
“I promise. Now let Mary know you’re coming in.”
Before I could ask, Matt added, “Nathan’ll be here in a few minutes to pick you up; he’ll stay at the shop today.”
When had they arranged that? “I, um, I’ll grab my purse.”