Chapter 63
Nina
Mary encouraged me to eat my bland eggs and dry toast, but I couldn’t stomach it. I needed to see Austin and didn’t understand why they wouldn’t let me.
“John and Ryan would like to visit. Are you up for it?” Mary asked.
Hoping they’d give me answers, I pushed my tray away and said, “Yes.”
As soon as they walked in, I asked, “What happened? Is Austin okay?”
Fear that he’d died in surgery overwhelmed me, and in a moment of panic, I tried to get out of bed. Only Mary was faster and gently pushed me back against my pillows.
“Austin’s alive,” John said.
Alive? Not okay?
“Nina, it's okay.” Ryan sat beside me and held my hand, rubbing my wrist with his thumb. “We’ll tell you everything.”
I sucked in air and tried not to pass out as my panic escalated at their delay.
“What happened to Austin?” I practically barked, fear making me rude to the people who least deserved it.
Mary sat next to me and held my hand other hand while John stood beside her.
“Nina, I'm going to be blunt. Austin will be fine, but the doctor couldn’t save his leg.”
The color drained from my face so fast that my eyes rolled back and I passed out.
When I came to, Mary was patting my forehead with a cold, damp cloth.
“What happened?”
“You passed out, dear,” Mary said. “Just for a second.”
“Austin?”
He lost his leg. Tears streamed down my face like a waterfall as I realized just how much he’d sacrificed to help me. To save me.
He lost his leg. He’d lose his job. What else would he lose?
The machine beeping faster and faster, announcing my panic, pissed me off.
When Ryan squeezed my hand, I turned toward him.
“Breathe, Nina. Everything will be okay.”
“Nina, Austin is resilient and surrounded by people who love him. He’ll need time, but he’ll adjust,” John said.
Mary added, “And we’ll be here every step of the way to help.”
I nodded, too many and not enough words swirling through my mind.
“He’s asking for you,” John said.
“Me? Why?”
Mary chuckled. “Nina, my nephew is in love with you.”
He couldn’t be. I was just the nobody of a girl who’d caused him a world of trouble.
“But he lost his leg because of me.”
“None of this is your fault,” Ryan reminded me, but I still didn’t believe him.
“Bryce,” at my confused look, John explained, “he’s Austin’s brother, said Austin doesn’t know yet.”
How could he not know? He had a leg yesterday and today he doesn’t.
It occurred to me that the doctors probably had him on heavy painkillers.
“When you visit him, you can’t say anything.”
How was I supposed to avoid staring at his missing leg? Or not cry? What if I slipped up?
I don’t think I can.
“It’s okay to say no if you’re not ready,” Mary said.
But how could I say no after everything he’d done for me?
The steely eyed man I’d fallen in love with had given me back the early years my life. If it hadn’t been for him, I never would’ve known who my parents were. I never would’ve known their story. My story.
You have your parents’ courage, their strength. Austin’s words came back to me. I could do this; I could be strong for him like he’d been strong for me.
After making up my mind, I said, “No, I’ll go see him. I just need a minute.”
To compose myself. To stop crying. To find the energy to smile.
John looked down at his phone. “Dalton said he’s asleep, so you’ve got some time.”
I hated that my predominant feeling was relief.
As desperate as I was to see him, I wasn’t ready to face Austin and try to hide my heartbreak at what he’d given up.
“Why don’t you try to get some rest while you wait,” Mary said, squeezing my hand. “I’ll be here when you wake up.”
I drifted off, grateful to Mary for filling my vacant mom role.