26. Ghost #3
My transparency flickered at the same time the male was dragged backward. He cursed, bones snapping in his shoulder.
The rider whirled. “What the fuc—” His voice fizzled out as he lowered his head. “Arrik. I didn’t know it was you.”
Hael didn’t look at him, instead his eyes were focused on mine, and I realized I was still transparent.
Breathe. One. Two. Three. Four. Exhale.
My body slowly regained its color as my Token wavered out. At least I was finding it easier to come out of my transparency even if I still couldn’t control going into it.
“Don’t bother her again,” Hael ordered. “And tell everyone else.”
It wasn’t until the rider ran off, cupping his shoulder, that Hael asked, “Are you alright?”
I blinked. “I… I should be asking you that.” I kept seeing his back, kept seeing the spiked whip covered in his blood as bones cracked…
“I’m fine.”
I searched his eyes, and if he was still in pain, he was doing a good job of masking it.
“No, you aren’t. I saw your back…” My voice stuttered. “No one would be fine after—”
“Elion always sends a Token mender to heal most of it. I’m fine, Nollie.”
“Did you know that was going to happen?” I asked because it’d been bothering me all day. I couldn’t stop thinking about it.
“You should go back to your room.”
“What? Why?” I shook my head, taken aback. I thought after last night he was going to stop trying to convince me to leave.
“Because the riders are…” he paused, trying to think over a word, then shifted. “The ceremony changes them and the end of the Vargothi gives them… urges. It’s not safe for you to be here tonight.”
“Not safe,” I repeated more to myself. “Why?”
“I had to watch seventeen of my men try to drunkenly hit on you, do you really need me to explain why?” His voice was hard, his temper short, but my own breath left me. He counted, which meant he’d been watching me too.
I looked around the room. “I don’t see you telling anyone else to leave?”
“Everyone else isn’t being approached by nearly half the men in this room,” he said, his eyes skimming over my dress.
My stomach fluttered at his words, at the way he was staring at me, at the fact that he even noticed. “Why do you even care?”
“It’s painful to watch.”
My eyes narrowed. “Painful? I’m not even saying yes to anyone.” I scanned the room again and at least half of the initiates were talking to someone, some full on groping each other, yet I was the painful one to watch?
“No one else has a panic attack from being touched.”
I flinched. I couldn’t help it. I immediately felt my cheeks heat as embarrassment crashed into me.
“Fuck. Sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.” He ran a hand over his face, but he didn’t take the words back. Realization dawned on me. He meant it, and I had no idea why, but it infuriated me.
“So because I don’t have control over my Token, you don’t think I should be here?”
His eyes searched mine, his face devoid of any emotion, making it impossible to read. “Yes,” he deadpanned. Then took a step closer to me. “I’m not going to lie to you. I told you to run the first night.”
“Well, I’m not running.” Yet, at least. Sooner or later, Dahes was going to send a thatcher to collect me, and I’d be gone. But was he going to take Hael too? I had no idea what Dahes was going to do to him after I came back. I didn’t even know what I was going to tell him yet.
“You should.” He was right before me now. “The Vargothi ends tonight, which means Elion’s going to turn his attention to something else.” His voice was a whisper now. “And you’re not doing a good job at blending in.”
“I didn’t realize I was supposed to.”
“No?” He challenged. “Do you have zero survival skills? Was running from a Tallik not enough? Was watching that girl burn not enough? Was this morning not enough?”
“I…” I opened my mouth and closed it. “You did it on purpose? You brought me to MonClem, knowing Elion was going to torture you, to what? Scare me?”
“You think I purposely signed myself up for that?” He let out a single laugh that died on his lips. “I brought you to MonClem because—” He stopped short. “It doesn’t matter why. You need to leave tonight.”
“No.”
He ran his fingers through his dark waves. “You’re going to regret it.”
“You don’t know a single thing about me. You don’t know what I’ve been through.”
“You’re right. I don’t.” He cut me off. “But I know what Elion is capable of, and I’m trying to warn you that he isn’t any better than Dahes. Whatever you’re running from, I promise it’s not better here.”
“You talk like you hate him.”
He didn’t answer, and it was infuriating. He only spoke to me when he wanted to, on his own terms, which mostly consisted of him telling me what to do, and that was mostly just threatening me to run. Whatever happened between us last night was gone.
“Are you allowed to be here?” I asked.
“I’m the leader of the drakins and it’s a ball in their honor, so yes,” he drawled like I just asked the most stupid question on the planet. Which, when he phrased it like that, made it seem like I did.
I rolled my eyes. “I meant talking to me.”
I quickly glanced at the dais again. Elion wasn’t paying attention to us, but he could look over at any moment. And even though we were off to the side of the room, a lot of people were staring in our direction.
Before Hael could answer, a servant approached.
“Excuse me.” Both of us turned to look at her.
She was wearing a simple cream gown and her black hair was tied back into a tight bun that twisted around a knot on the top of her head.
It drew attention to her sharp cheekbones, making her look severe.
“Your servant asked me to give these to you,” she stuttered. “He said you might need them.”
Bran—I smiled. He told me earlier that he was serving in the back kitchen tonight.
She was carrying a tray with two drinks. Both were the lightest shade of pink, it almost looked white. There were bubbles fizzing at the bottom, a far cry from the dry wine and amber ales I’d been forcing down my throat.
I took the glass closest to me, seeing Hael do the same with the other.
“Thank you,” he nodded to the servant. Her eyes widened before she took off through the winged-archway, nearly dropping the empty tray as she ran out.
I took a sip and nearly moaned. It was so much better than anything I’d ever tasted. It was sweet and fruity with only a slight tang to it.
Hael was watching me, but I couldn’t read his expression. His glass was still untouched in his hand.
“What?”
“Nothing.” He cleared his throat, then rolled his shoulders, and I didn’t miss the slight wince that flashed across his face from the movement.
I couldn’t stop staring. I had no idea what it was about him, but from the moment he brought me here, my eyes kept searching for him.
“I’m sorry about this morning,” I whispered, watching him take a sip from his drink. He swallowed hard, his eyes finding mine. Even if he infuriated me, I couldn’t stop thinking about what happened.
“You have nothing to be sorry about.”
“I didn’t think you’d be here tonight,” I admitted, my voice softening. “Does he do that to you often?”
He smirked into his glass, chuckling softly, before taking another long sip from his drink.
“What?”
“Nollie, it doesn’t matter what I tell you. You won’t believe me either way.”
“That’s not true,” I snapped defensively, my voice rising a fraction.
His eyebrow raised. “If I say yes, you’ll think I’m only saying it to get you to leave.”
I raised my eyebrow, waiting for his answer, even though he was right. I probably would have thought that.
“Elion has no qualms with punishments,” was all he answered. “And yes, it is a reason you should leave.”
“Would it make you happy if I left?” I asked, taking another sip myself, watching him do the same.
He nodded, and my heart sank at his answer.
“You wouldn’t mind never seeing me again?” I took another sip, hating the knot in my stomach.
“Who says I’d never see you again?”
“I think it’s obvious if I leave Soffikane and you live in Soffikane, we’d never see each other.”
“Would that bother you?” he shot the question back to me and my breath hitched. Would it?
“Maybe,” I admitted, biting my lip.
The alcohol was making my brain not think straight. Maybe I’d regret it in the morning, but right now, I didn’t care. I was feeling light, giddy even. I hadn’t even realized I’d taken a step closer to him and was craning my neck to look into his eyes.
“Yes,” he said, his voice lowering. “It would bother me.” His head tilted down. “But it would bother me more if you’re alone with Elion and I can’t protect you.”
“Protect me from what?” I breathed. My stomach was doing somersaults and I swore I could feel the alcohol stir.
“Fuck, Nollie. If you don’t know the answer to that, you’re more naive than I thought.”
“So you do hate him?” Part of me was screaming at myself to keep my mouth shut and not ask. If he admitted anything right now I’d have to use it against him, and I realized I didn’t want to.
I was forgetting about the hunt, forgetting what I was supposed to do and that this was dangerous.
“Yes.” His breath hit my face as he answered. We were still standing so close. He eyed me, not backing away, even though with each inhale I took, my breasts were threatening to touch his chest. I should move. Take a step back. Do something. “Let me walk you back to your room.”
My head was dizzy and I wasn’t sure if it was the alcohol or what he was implying or maybe everything was all in my head.
Bran’s glass was empty in my hand. I had three drinks.
Three drinks more than I’d ever had in my life, and I was feeling it.
I wanted to lean into him. I wanted to smell his shirt.
I wanted him to kiss me so I could find out if I’d notice the chunk of his lip missing, if I’d feel it as his mouth moved against mine…
“Why do you want to walk me back?” I whispered, sucking in my breath as I waited for his answer.
“Because if I’m forced to watch one more of my men try to hit on you, I’m going to fucking lose it.”
My pulse skyrocketed.
“Okay.”
I didn’t know if I was only agreeing because of the hunt, because a part of me realized I wanted to spend more time with him.
“Meet me outside the wings in five minutes,” he said, leaving me standing alone by the octet, my heart beating just as erratically as the music pulsing in my ears.