Chapter Twenty-Nine
Lap
MAGNOLIA
Iused the rest of the morning to practice my Token and work on making myself numb again.
I couldn’t afford to lose control of my thoughts. I couldn’t afford to be reckless, knowing that Dahes was due to enter my head at any moment.
If he knew I wanted Hael, that I would have let him touch me—
Breath. One. Two. Three. Four. Exhale.
Don’t think. You don’t want anything, Magnolia. Just breathe. Just exist. Don’t think. Don’t think. Don’t think.
When I felt my mind turning off, I focused on my body, trying to convince myself that I wanted to be transparent, that I loved my Token, that I was happy that I got it, that it was a desire…
I let out a frustrated sigh because no matter how many times I tried repeating the mantra inside my head, I was no closer to believing it.
So far, I’d only managed to turn my Token off. I had control on letting go of it, on bringing my body back into its tangible form.
The only problem was that wasn’t going to help me when I was brought back to Dahes. Being tangible wasn’t going to protect me.
I needed the opposite. I needed control with turning it on, and I was no closer to figuring it out.
My back stiffened and I tried everything to keep the heat from rising in my cheeks when Hael walked into the dining room for breakfast a few hours later.
His eyes flicked over me for the briefest second before he took the seat next to Cash.
Elion drummed his fingers. “Where were you yesterday?”
Hael looked up, staring directly at the king. “I was busy with the recruits.”
The king’s eyes narrowed. “When I give you orders to dine with me, that’s exactly what it is—orders.” Silence rippled through the table as every side conversation hushed. “It’s not optional.”
Hael nodded as if he expected that. “My apologies.”
“I expect to see you in the throne room after breakfast.”
I paled.
The last time Hael was in the throne room he had his back destroyed for breaking the rules. Did not having breakfast with the king count as breaking them too? Was he going to get punished for something so trivial?
Why didn’t he just say he wasn’t feeling well? Why did he lie about where he was yesterday?
More silence followed as Elion continued to stare at Hael. “How are the new recruits coming along?”
“They’re adjusting. It will take time before we know the full outcome.”
Elion tsked.
“It’s only been two days since the Vinculums were formed, give them a week—”
Elion cut him off. “It took you half a night until you figured out yours.” There was a pause. “I expect a full report on every recruit by tomorrow night. That’s all the time I’m giving.”
I watched Hael’s jaw tick, but he didn’t comment. If it wasn’t for years of holding my tongue around Dahes, I probably would have asked what they were talking about. I looked around the room and every Wielder seemed just as confused as I was, but the drakins were all silent.
People started eating again, the tension slowly waning. I forced myself to eat a grape. Then another.
King Elion turned to me. “Speaking of expectations. Cash told me you made progress with your Token after the ball.”
I choked. My hand instantly went to my throat as I coughed, before I recovered. After the ball—when we were drugged.
I looked up, meeting Cash’s gaze, and his smirking grin told me everything I needed to know.
It was him. He drugged Hael and I, thinking if I slept with him, I would suddenly get over my fear of being touched.
I looked up at Hael. He was staring at me now, but I couldn’t read his expression.
His features were schooled, everything smoothed over and blank except for a fraction of his eyebrows being pinched.
Then I looked down, noticing how tightly he was holding onto his knife, his grip turning his tanned knuckles white.
Elion spoke again, causing me to jolt. “Do you not have manners? I’m speaking to you.”
I whipped my attention back to the king. “S-sorry.”
“Well, let’s see it.”
“What?” My voice was soft. I had no idea if I had any control over my Token. Yes, Hael touched me and my body was still tangible, but it wasn’t a choice. I didn’t want him to do that to me, did I?
“Come here,” the king ordered, and I stiffened. I was sitting right next to him. How much closer did he want me to get?
“I said come here,” he repeated, his voice lowering, fear snapping down my spine at the tone.
I pulled my chair out, the sound echoing throughout the now silent room. I took a single step toward the king and stopped.
He pushed his own chair out, just enough to expose his thigh. “Take a seat.” He gestured toward his lap.
My lips parted, but I still couldn’t move. I felt everyone’s gazes locked on me, watching and waiting for what I’d do.
Breathe. One. Two. Three. Four. Exhale.
The moment I sat on his lap, my Token flicked on, and I immediately became gray. I knew I didn’t have control over it. My heart was beating erratically. My breathing was ragged and my lungs were so far constricted they hurt.
The king’s laugh rumbled behind me, even though I couldn’t feel it. “Well, I did say I wanted to see it.”
Everyone else started laughing too. I was happy I was gray, happy that no one could see how red and inflamed my cheeks were. The only person who wasn’t laughing at the table was Hael. A muscle moved along his jaw and his fists were clenched as he slowly placed them on top of the table.
King Elion stood, moving right through me as he did.
“Marvelous,” he crooned, gazing down at me.
His hand reached out to cup my cheek before it moved through my face.
The moment he pulled his hand back, my Token vanished, and I dropped onto the cushions.
I wasn’t sure how it worked. I never fell through furniture whenever I became transparent.
Most of the time, I wouldn’t even be paying attention to where my body was—mainly because every time it manifested in the past, it was because I was around Dahes, and my adrenaline was too haywire to pay attention to my surroundings.
But here I could. The moment Elion moved, I was just hovering.
I didn’t know how else to explain it. My legs wouldn’t shake.
I didn’t have to balance or try to stay upright.
I just existed. Floated. I knew I could pass through objects, but it was only if I purposely tried.
And thank the Suns, whenever I became transparent, my clothes came with me.
The second time my Token manifested was seared into my memory just as much as the first. I was standing in the middle of Dahes’ throne room, and I was terrified my clothes would fall right off my body, that he’d see exactly what he wanted, and he’d become more ruthless.
But they didn’t. They stayed on me. I wondered if it was part of the necessity, the reason it even sparked to begin with.
Elion started clapping. I was still in his seat, frozen, with my heart pounding just as loudly against my chest.
The king turned to Cash. “Your turn.”
Cash didn’t even move from his seat, he didn’t need to. The second he leaned forward to touch me, my Token manifested.
Everyone laughed, like my embarrassment was only there for their amusement.
King Elion forced everyone around the table to take turns trying to touch me, my transparency coming in and out with each one.
I tried to steady my breathing, tried to still my mind, to get myself to not think.
Breathe. One. Two. Three. Four. Exhale.
Soon, I wouldn’t have to see any of them ever again.
“Arrik,” King Elion’s voice brought me back to reality and halted my cycle of breathing. “You’re the only one who hasn’t tried.”
I was tangible at the moment. Everyone else was sitting around the table except for Elion. He was still standing off to the side, making remarks every now and then about my Token.
Hael didn’t react for one heartbeat. Then two, and I wondered if he was going to refuse.
But then he stood, and my breath hitched.
My heart was in my throat as he walked around Cash to reach me.
I couldn’t muster the strength to look at him now, even though yesterday he was all I wanted to see.
My gaze stayed fixed on his hand—his fist clenched—before he flexed each finger and reached his hand out toward my shoulder.
His fingers lightly grazed my exposed skin before he pulled them away.
I didn’t go transparent.
He went to move, to walk back to his seat, but Elion raised his hand. “Stop.”
Hael stilled.
“You said she has full control over her Token now?” he turned to Cash.
Cash swallowed, before shaking his head. “I said she made progress.”
The king’s eyes narrowed, his gaze shooting to mine as he reached his hand out toward me, and I immediately became transparent. Regardless that he couldn’t touch me, his fingers lingered over my cheek, and my chest was rapidly rising and falling.
He pulled his hand away from me and my color came back. “Touch her again.”
Hael hesitated. His jaw ticked before he grazed my shoulder again. My actual shoulder. I tried to bring my Token forward, but nothing happened. I was still tangible.
“Breakfast is finished.” Elion barked. “Everyone out.”
I immediately went to stand, but Elion stopped me. “No. Not you two.”
Hael looked at me, his blank mask unraveling, and I had no idea what to expect. It wasn’t until everyone left the dining room and we were alone with just the servants hurriedly cleaning up the table that the king turned to him. “Did you sleep with her?”
“No.”
Elion exhaled. “Once Lira comes back to the castle, I’ll know if you’re lying, and things will be a lot worse if I find out you actually did. So I’ll ask you one more time, did you sleep with her?”
Hael shook his head. “No.”
“Then you touched her in some way.”
“Nothing happened,” Hael said, completely avoiding my gaze now. My own heart was skyrocketing next to him, and Elion’s gaze flicked over me before he turned back to Hael.
“Do you care for her?” Elion asked, and I couldn’t breathe.
Hael didn’t answer right away, but then he finally shook his head. “No.”
Elion smiled. “So you wouldn’t mind if I—”
I stumbled backward out of shock. Everything happened so fast that I couldn’t process it. My Token didn’t have time to register the threat before Elion’s hands were stretched out in front of him, his fingers sprawled as lightning ricocheted off an invisible wall in front of me.
“That’s what I thought,” Elion sneered as he pulled the lightning back. “Drop your shield around her.”
Hael didn’t move.
“I said drop it,” Elion ground out.
The air shimmered around me, making it seem like I was staring through a glossy bubble.
I barely blinked before the king’s hands moved from me to Hael and his lightning sprung to life again. Only this time there wasn’t a shield blocking it. It went right through Hael’s chest.
He screamed, his entire body revolting as he fought to keep standing.
One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six seconds…
More and more lightning poured out of his hands, the electric jolts shearing his clothes, fraying the shirt off his chest.
It was burning him, creating welts across his skin in zig-zag patterns.
I lunged for the king, but hands pulled my shoulders back before I reached him. It wasn’t until I heard Bran’s voice that I realized he was the one dragging me out of the room and back into my own. I thrashed against his hold, trying to break free, fighting to get back to Hael.
Bran said something to me before shutting the door and leaving me alone, but I didn’t hear it. My ears were ringing, and my mind kept replaying Hael’s scream over and over and over again.