Trenta y Cuatro
As soon as I agreed to go back to his house, he linked our fingers together and didn’t let go until he had to dig through his pockets for his keys to open the front door. I let him lead the way and didn’t say a word the whole walk here. I don’t know where to start.
“I want you to be comfortable here,” he says while we stand in the entryway to his big-ass house.
There’s a pile of coats, sneakers, a black helmet, and weird-looking sports equipment on the floor.
“Take a seat, Ed,” he says as he motions to the couch in a nice-ass living room before he drops my bag on the floor next to a chair.
“I’m gonna make sure we’re here alone, gimme one sec,” he says and walks around the first floor of the house. “I think they’re all out, but I’ll check upstairs,” he adds when he circles back to me standing in the entryway. “I want you to shower and have peace of mind, like p-e-a-c-e.”
I swear this man continues to surprise me. His caring about my comfort like this is something I didn’t know existed. O creía que era capaz de hacerlo. Or thought he was capable of.
“What do you want to eat? I think my brother has peanut butter if you'd like that, or I can order a pizza or boil some pasta. You pick.” He runs up the stairs, and he’s yelling back down to me between knocking on doors. It’s like he wants me to know he’s still here and that I’m not alone.
“All good, Ed, it’s just us,” he says while coming down the stairs. “I also sent them a text and told them to stay the fuck out.”
“I mean, they live here, you can’t tell them they can’t come home.” He’s got a look on his face like he could give a shit about his roommates. “That’s fucked up,” I add, as his hands wrap around my waist.
“Don’t care. They’ll be fine.” He pulls me into his body, and my head lands on his chest. “Your comfort matters more to me than there's. Now hug me back, Ed.”
“I don’t really hug, cabrón .” My arms are stuck at my sides, and I’m not sure what to do.
I’ve never sought out affection from someone before.
I never wanted their body pressed up against mine like ours are right now.
But I like it with this man, and I like it so much that my eyes close while I lean up against him.
“Try for me, little demon.” My arms wrap around his waist, and my body relaxes into his. “There you go, I’ve got you, Ed. I’m gonna stay just like this and show you that no matter what you say, I’ve got you. Now, tell me what’s going on. I want you to start from the beginning.”
“ You sure?” I exhale a breath and really hope he means it, because I want to stay right here like this with him.
“About you, Ed? Yeah, I’m a hundred percent sure.
” His voice is steady, like he means it, and for once, my silence isn’t because I’m busy analyzing the bullshit people say.
It’s because I believe him and I trust his words.
I’m not doubting anything that he’s saying.
“Don’t be afraid of trusting this, hermosa . ” I’m not. I’m not afraid at all.
“My name’s Valentine Garcia, and I’m from the Bronx, down in New York.
I grew up in the LatinX gang and lived in the fucking projects.
I met Payton at Kings Prep, a private high school I went to on a full ride.
” I hate every single fucking word I just said.
I hate who I was, where I’m from, and that this is my story.
“She started going with my cousin, Gabe, who was a soldier in the X, and my fucking escort back and forth to Kings. He was in charge of me. He’s also the only blood relative that I ever knew about.
I never knew my parents or any other family, and I only met his ass on the first day of high school.
He met Payton that week, and that was fucking that. ”
His chin is resting on top of my head and keeping me in place. It’s like he’s grounding me, and it gives me what I need to keep spilling my guts, and it helps that I can’t see his face while I talk about my dirty fucking past.
“He would walk me back and forth and get the supply I needed. It was my job to sell in school, and we kept Kings stocked up. I didn’t just sell to students, though.
I also sold to the teachers, some staff, and of course, the fucking Headmaster.
” I can see his nasty-ass in my head and squeeze my eyes shut to force his fucking face outta my brain.
“That motherfucker was addicted to coke, pills, and underage girls. He was also Princess Payton’s father. ”
If I’m gonna be honest, then I’m gonna tell him everything.
I take a deep breath and let it all out.
“He’d lock me in his office,” I pause to think about how I want to say this.
I’ve never actually said the words out loud before.
“And that motherfucker would force himself on me.” He squeezes me in his arms, and it’s only a part of the reason I can’t breathe right now.
“He would –,” I heard his voice crack in half, and I cut him off. I don’t want him to say the words. I don’t want to hear him say that I was raped. I know I was.
“He wasn’t the only one. The priests in the territory, the OG’s who ran the X, soldiers, whoever.”
“Fuck, Ed.”
“That’s why, when I saw a fucking way out, I took it.
I couldn’t take all the fucked up shit they were doing to me anymore.
So over a period of time, I took enough money to buy a new name, papers, and for me to get here after graduation.
And before I left, I gave those motherfuckers up.
I gave the NYPD Gang Unit a whole fucking list of shit.
Names, locations, dates. All of it. They’d been watching them for months, and the info I gave them was enough for them to make their case.
They arrested the OG’s, Gabe, and Payton's father, all of them. ”
“You’re fucking brave as hell, Ed. You got out. You saved yourself.” I feel his pointer finger glide over my back like he’s writing on me again. “You’re fighting for a better life.”
“And she’s gonna fuck it all up. I never thought this shit would happen, that someone from New York would end up down here.”
“How’d you end up at Havenwood? What happened when you got here?”
“I was supposed to have a full ride with room and board, but that didn’t happen. They gave me a job at the Tutoring Center, and I used whatever money I had left over to get by. It’s why I’ve been at the shelter since I got down here.”
“You’ve been on your own this whole time?” He asks, leaning back so that he can see me.
“I’ve been on my own forever,” I admit while looking up at his face.
“Not anymore, you’re not. You’ve got me now,” he says while bringing his hands up to my cheeks.
“I’m not a great person, Hunter,” I tell him while my hands close around his wrists. “I’ve lied to survive, I steal shit to get by, and if I have to defend myself, I fucking will. I stabbed that guy in the alleyway the other night like it was no big deal.”
“That motherfucker was trying to hurt you, I’m glad you fucking killed him.”
“Do you hear yourself? You’re glad that I killed someone?”
“If it means you’re alive, then yeah, and if I ever had to defend you like that, I fucking would, Ed.” He leans forward and presses a kiss to my mouth. “I’m not playing when it comes to you.”
“Even after hearing all of that?”
“Your past doesn’t change who you are to me, you’re still my Ed, Ed.” Oh Diosas, wey. This man and the things he says.
“This isn’t normal shit, Hunter. My past has caught up with me. Payton’s out for fucking blood, and her ass is crazy enough to make us both bleed.” He has to see how serious this is.
“Her boyfriend doing shit he shouldn’t have isn’t your fault. As far as I’m concerned, he was gonna get locked up eventually. He’s not innocent here.”
“None of us were, wey . I wasn’t either,” I tell him and step away from our hug before I start pacing the floor in front of the stairs.
I take my beanie off my head and pull my hair at the roots, trying to release the anxiety that I’m feeling.
“I could’ve given him a heads up. I could’ve saved him, but I didn’t.
That’s why she’s pissed.” My brain is starting to spin, and my feet are moving just as fast.
“You chose to save yourself, and thank fuck that you did,” he says and reaches for my hand to bring me back to him.
“I would’ve ended up dead if I stayed,” I tell him as I push off his chest to begin pacing again.
“No lie, if I hadn’t gotten out, I would’ve killed myself.
I thought about it every day. I had access to enough shit.
I could’ve done it quickly, too. And every time one of those motherfuckers came after me those last few days I came so fucking close to swallowing a whole baggy of percs. ”
“Fucking hell, Edison,” he says while lifting me straight up off the floor.
My arms link around his neck, and my fingers loop around his chain at the base of his head.
I feel like I need to hold on to him for dear fucking life while I get all these words out.
It’s the first time I’ve ever said any of this shit out loud.
“I still have them hidden in my bag,” I mumble into his shoulder and blink away the tears that flow out of my eyes. I can’t stop and start to shake. “Just in case, you know?” It’s like he literally opened the fucking flood gates.
“Don’t you dare fucking think about doing that shit.
You hear me, Ed? That’s not your life anymore.
” He grits out and pulls me up his big-ass body by my ass cheeks so that I’m face to face with him.
“This is your life now. And I’ll fucking carry you like this if it keeps you safe.
Even from yourself.” My ankles can’t reach all the way around him, and he tucks his big-ass arms under my thighs, holding me in place while my thoughts spiral outta fucking control.
“Don’t even think about leaving me, Edison. I’d follow you to hell, little demon.”
“You heard what she said about wanting retribution, right? She’ll fucking do it too, pero, ella está loca. Payton’s fucking crazy, and Gabe’s crazy about her. He’s gonna come after me, I know he is. Pero, I want you to understand,--”
“Let him fucking try to touch a hair on your pretty little head, I’ll kill him myself. And then, when I go to prison, I’ll kill all those motherfuckers who fucking hurt you. Understand that, Ed.” His arms flex around me, and I feel shielded from my crazy-ass thoughts.
The assertiveness in his voice pushes my paranoia away, and I rest my forehead on his to give my brain a break from my own fucked up anxiety. Este hombre me tranquiliza la mente. This man calms down my head.
“There you go, Ed, take a deep breath,” he encourages as the tip of his nose traces over my cheek.
I shut my eyes, giving in to how it feels to be the center of his attention.
“Turn this big, beautiful brain off,” he demands, rubbing his forehead against mine.
I do as I’m told and inhale the air between us, feeling him inside my lungs.
“Relax for me,” he commands while I continue to breathe in and out. He massages the underside of my legs, and his big-ass hands move higher up my thighs. His fingers knead into my covered skin, and his touch feels so good that I start to moan before I can stop myself.
“ Aye, no ,” I whimper out as his thumb continues to hit a spot that makes my core clench.
I jolt in his arms like he’s electrocuted me.
My pussy is spread open over his muscular stomach, and the friction over my forgotten clit sends sparks all over my skin.
It’s like this man just jump-started a dead battery inside my body.
“Careful, Ed,” he says while he jerks me upward. My legs are stretched around his body, and his hands palm each side of my ass as he adjusts me higher up his frame. “I promised you a peaceful shower. If you keep making noises like that, I’m gonna end up eating more than just my words, hermosa .”