Forty-Seven
“You played great, nice goal by the way,” my sister states, offering me a hug after the game. We’re standing in the hallway outside the team locker room. As soon as I separate from her, Max runs and picks her up from her waist, and I clock Harmon on her back when he spins her around.
I had to get dressed and get outta the locker room as fast as I could to get away from fucking Payton. She was going around to interview some of the boys for social media or whatever it is that she does. All I wanna do is get the fuck outta here and get back to Ed.
“Did you see my goal, Eves? I scored for you, pretty girl,” Max tells her, and he’s got her smiling and laughing as he twirls her in a circle.
This dick has a shit-eating grin on his face, and when his eyes shift to mine, I know what he’s about to fucking do.
This is his tell before he says some nasty-ass shit to my sister.
“You wanna replay, babygirl? You want me to sink it between your legs like I did with that puck when we get home?”
“What the fuck, Max!” I snap back and wish like hell that I had my skates so I could jam the end of the sharp fucking runner into my ears.
I know he’s a fucking horndog and have seen firsthand what he can do. I’ve seen him in action and know what to expect from him. It’s why I’ve been mentally scrubbing my eyes with fucking Clorox wipes to try to unsee the shit he does to my sister.
He’s all over her and has a hard fucking time keeping his hands to himself.
Not that he gives a fuckwhat anyone thinks - especially not me or Chase.
Fucking, God forbid he doesn’t go five fucking minutes without sticking his tongue down her throat - right now is no different as he makes out with her in the hallway.
Yeah, I’m out, I don’t need to see all this shit.
“I missed you,” I hear him say when he lets her breath, and his three words hit me in the fucking heart. I miss someone, too.
“I almost wish he didn’t score so we didn’t have to hear him say kinky shit like that,” my brother says from behind me as I start to walk away. “Next time, send the puck to me,” he says and holds his fist out. “I’m going to meet Sloane, you good?”
“Yeah, man, I’m good,” I see him eyeing me, and I know he’s trying to get into my head again. Too bad, bro, no visitors allowed.
“I saw you hugging Evie. Things better?” I swear he’s like a dog with a fucking bone when it comes to this. I let out a fucking loud huff. It’s not that I don’t want to talk to my brother, but right this second isn’t the fucking time. I need to get back to her. I want to get back to her.
“We’re doing better,” I admit, and keep it at that.
I’m not gonna tell him that the reason Evie and I are in an okay place is because we're focusing on his problems instead of our own, but him crashing the fuck out really did give me the kick in the ass that I needed to get the fuck over myself and reach out to her.
Honestly, I was scared shitless and didn’t know what else to do. There’s no other way to say it, he was legit hurting himself. It was this bad mix of both self-neglect and self-abuse.
He was out every fucking night running these mini-marathons to get away from the army of monsters that were chasing him in his head.
He wasn’t eating right and losing weight.
He was either locked in that public health hazard of a room, or out in the middle of the night…
or standing in the trees, hiding in the bushes waiting for Red to emerge.
He reeked like fucking ass, looked like dogshit, and at one point, the smell seeping out from under his door was so fucking awful that I thought his corpse was rotting away in his room. That’s when I maned the fuck up and called our sister.
“You sure?” he asks, and I narrow my eyes at him. I love my brother to fucking death, but he’s starting to piss me off now. And he’s not the only one.
A couple of the guys asked me if I was alright, and one senior pulled me over to ask if I was okay since he hadn’t seen me out or with anyone in a while. I told him that I was fucking fine and I am with someone. My someone. And I really want to fucking get back to her now.
I can feel my inner dragon huff and puff before blowing out smoke, and it burns my esophagus. Now I’m fucking aggravated, and he’s gonna fucking pay for holding me up. Fine, you want my attention, little brother, here ya fucking go.
“Yes, I’m fucking sure. Stop stalling and go ice your feet.
And stay off of them tonight. I’m sure Red will help you if you need anything,” I can see he’s thinking about it.
“Listen to me, don’t be dumber than you’ve already been.
You’ve fucked up your feet and you’re looking at post-season surgery as it is, so don’t be fucking stubborn. Go take care of yourself, man.”
I pause and take a swig of my water. He wanted my fucking time, well, here it is. “This is what we’ve been talking about. Relax with Red and take care of your gnarly-ass feet… and eat something. Like real fucking food.”
“I’ll do that,” he says with a smile that I haven’t seen in fucking months and hadn’t realized how much I missed. “Where you off to?” he asks and holds out his hand for me to give him dap.
“Down to the shop, Ed’s there,” I tell him, and look at my phone to check the time. I type out a message to let her know that I’m leaving the arena. Because I fucking am.
“It’s still fucking crazy to me that you all of a sudden have a girl.” He shakes his head as his thumb moves across his own phone screen. “You do know that means that you only fuck her, right? No more threesomes or foursomes? Well, actually, I guess if she were down…”
“I’m gonna need you to shut the fuck up now,” I tell him with a firm voice.
His eyes lift up to see why my tone is so icy.
I’ve been thinking about this shit a lot lately, and I fucking know what I’ve done and what my reputation is.
I don’t want that shit spewed around her.
I don’t need other women; they’ll never give me what I need because they aren’t her.
And I don’t want any shit said to her about it.
“Because I want you to hear this when I say it, so your dumbass doesn’t say anything stupid like that ever again. Alright?” I demand, and he scowls, “If I have her, I don’t need anyone else.”
“You love her,” he comments as he shakes his head in disbelief, “You’re just as fucked as I am,” he adds as he smiles. “Welcome to the club.”
“Who are you both talking about?” Our sister asks from behind us, and we turn around at the sound of her voice. “You love who?”
“Edison, I’m talking about Edison.” I’m never lying to my sister again or going to hide shit from her because I think that it’s a better option than being honest. That nearly took us all out last Fall, and I’m not doing that shit again.
If what I have to say now, or in the future, or even right this second—as I admit that I’m dating one of her friends— pisses her off, then so fucking be it. I don’t care. I would rather look at her angry eyes than know that I lied to her again. “You good with that?”
“Are you kidding? Wait, are you together? Don’t you dare treat her like you do all those other girls, A., I won’t fucking let you,” Evie warns, jabbing her index finger into my chest as she defends my girl and her friend.
“You better not hurt her.” I know what that feels like, and I’d have the team tie me to the fucking net naked and have them practice five-hole shots, then hurt my sweet little nightmare again.
“Never,” I assure her, and I fucking mean it.
“Good, because she’s special,” my sister adds and lifts her chin. She’s shorter than Chase and me, but she stands the fucking tallest for what she believes in.
“Yes, she is.” I can tell that Evie approves of my answers and that I’ve passed her test when she gives me another hug. I can tell that this one’s different from the obligatory good game hug she gave me after the game. This one is happy, and my sister uses all her might to squeeze me.
“You are, too. You just don’t want anyone to know,” she whispers before we separate. “Show her that you’re special, Hunter,” she adds, and it pulls on my fucking heartstrings, as she taps my chest with her hand.
“You should have seen him earlier, he was kissing her out on the sidewalk, Eves,” Max adds, and my sister’s eyes widen behind the lenses of her glasses. “It was like a fucking movie.”
“You were? That sounds so romantic!” she squeals out, and I get instantly sweaty. I don’t fucking do romance.
“Alright enough.” I can feel the tops of my ears getting red.
“What’d I miss? Enough what?” Monroe chirps, and I roll my fucking eyes when I look up and see him and Jake approaching our circle.
“You didn’t miss a fucking thing. I’m on my way out,” I announce for what feels like the tenth fucking time.
“Where are you going, man?” Monroe asks just as I turn to walk away (again), and with a fucking clenched jaw and fisted hands, I dig down fucking deep to remind myself that I love these fucking people even though they’re getting on my last nerve.
I’m fucking impatient, and I’m starting to feel itchy without her.
“For the tenth fucking time, I’m going to the shop,”
“That’s fucking boring, you can go play cards with Alvi whenever.
There’s some Greek scavenger hunt party over on the lane, let’s go.
” Once upon a time, I would’ve said yes because I was bored and figured I should try to feel something with another human being…
Or a few of them. And now none of that shit sounds appealing to me.
“Ed’s there, so that’s where I’ll be,” I firmly say, and Monroe tilts his head while he pauses to give my face a full fucking examination.
“So bring her, bro, everyone loves a fucking party,” he pleads, and I shake my head no at his request. For someone so fucking smart, Monroe can be real fucking stupid - not everyone likes to fucking party.
I seriously doubt that she would want to go, and there’s not a single part of me that wants to take her there.
Especially after what fucking Payton said about her getting anxious in places with lots of people.
That bitch’s words have replayed over and over in my head like game tape, and I don’t want to do that to Ed.
“Aren’t you in the mood to celebrate?” Oh, I’m definitely in the mood to fucking celebrate, and it doesn’t involve any of these fuckers or parties on the lane. “All we gotta do is beat Coventry and we go to the fucking Frozen Four, my dude, come on, we’re so fucking close.”
“Hard pass,” I tell him and hit his outstretched fist with mine, letting him know that I’m leaving for real this time when I give him a head nod.
“Jake!” I yell out, and he picks his head up when he hears me.
He got caught talking to some freshman players down the hall. “I need you to take me to Alv’s.”
All I want to fucking do is go get my girl, bring her back home, and fuck her brains out of her pretty little head. Then I’m gonna make grilled cheese and put her to sleep.
As soon as I get in Jake’s SUV, I send her a text to let her know my ETA and start bouncing around in the back seat. I’ve got big plans and can’t fucking wait.
But all those plans fly out the back window that I’ve got cracked open as soon as she texts me back.
Ed:
He’s here.
Te amo, mi cabrón.
I stall the fuck out reading her words, and the fucking love that I have for this girl is powerful enough that it jump-starts my heart.
The fucking fear that her cousin, Gabe, is gonna hurt her, tops off a deep, cavernous hole in my gut, and I can feel it pumping into my veins like gasoline.
So when Jake hits a red light, I jump the fuck out of the backseat and run the rest of the way. Because her cousin can’t fucking take her from me. She’s mine.