Sesenta y Très
I’m floating above the shelter, and I can see everything from up here, including the two fucking guns that are pointed at me. There was a fucking time when I would’ve begged either one of them to shoot me dead. But not anymore, not with him standing there. He’s why I want to fucking live. Mi vida.
I couldn’t keep all that shit inside any longer.
I couldn’t have her shoot me without her knowing what her father did.
I had to let it out, I felt it eating me alive like a fucking ulcer; I couldn’t keep it inside of myself for one more fucking second.
If I’m gonna live a better life, then I gotta let my old one go.
It felt like I was cutting a cord, and I thought of mi diosas , calling to them to set fire to the ties that chained me.
In my mind’s eye, I could see the sparks dancing over the frayed rope that was tied around her father’s neck as he dangled from the rafters of the auditorium for all of Kings to see.
And there I was, breathing out flames from my chest when I screamed out my truth and let go of all my burdens once and for all. He was finally going to burn to death.
I’m not scared, but Amy is. She’s fucking shaking, and I hate that she’s caught up in all of this because of me.
It doesn’t matter how terrified she is; she won’t go inside and risk her residents getting hurt.
This woman would straight up give this motherfucker, who’s literalmente holding us at gunpoint, a bed for the night if he needed it.
That’s who she is. She’s meant to do good work, and I’d never fucking get over it if anything happened to her.
She’s on the same level as Ms. Santos. Estas mujeres son santas. These women are saints.
My man looks scared, like he’s fucking terrified, and I fucking wish he hadn’t even shown up.
He didn’t come alone, and if anything happens to any of them, it’s on me.
I’d never be able to look at Hunter, Evie, or Sloane again.
I’d honestly fucking leave here if something happened to any of them and I somehow survived.
Gabe looks spooked, too. But not from the fucking guns that are drawn; that’s a way of life out in the X. Nah, mi primo is scared for Payton. And of her. He knows that she’s fucking mentally ill, and right now, impulsive as fuck.
As much as I talk shit about Payton, the reality is that bitch needs professional help. And her being in a fucking duel with a coked-out, high as fuck, moron isn’t gonna end well. Gabe fucking knows it.
My cousin is a lot of things, but what I see right now is a man who loves a woman so fucking much that he’s willing to get into the crossfire of a fucking gun fight. That’s how fucking terrified he is right now. He knows that this bitch’s greatest threat to her safety is herself.
It makes me feel bad for both of them, and honestly, they deserve so much better than all this shit.
They should have a real fucking life. Like, Gabe should be in fucking college, and Payton should be in a mental institution getting the help that she needs.
Temporalmente, por supuesto. Temporarily, of course.
Dylan, on the other hand, deserves to fucking rot. No one on this fucking fucked up planet of assholes would miss him. Literalmente no one. Not even mi primo, he only fucking cares about Payton. He’d shoot his ass in a heartbeat if it came down to it. I know he would.
That’s why when I heard the gun pop off, I started asking mis diosas for help again.
I wished to Hecate that the bullet ripped through his throat because I’m so fucking tired of hearing him talk.
He’s mourning some motherfucker who tried to fucking rape me.
Ve y chingate a ti mismo. Go fuck yourself.
And then I looked to Lilith to make sure that Amy is safe as I try to shield her from what’s going on.
If Alvi is who he says he is, he’s got eyes, ears, and fucking muscle out here ready to go.
That gunshot triggered my muscle memory and sent me straight to the fucking ground, and I took Amy with me.
Tattoo guy would kill me if anything happened to her.
It also stopped my heart, and I asked Aphrodite to protect my man. He was the last thing that I saw before I pushed Amy down, and I’ll fucking kill them all if he’s hurt. Maybe Nike can help keep watch over his brother and his sister’s boyfriend, too.
I squeezed my eyes shut. The echo that rippled off that gun was close enough that it pierced my ears, and I quietly screamed inside of myself. I felt Amy’s fear vibrate out of her body as I lay on top of her. It was radiating from her, and it melted the paralysis that had frozen me in place.
I lifted myself up from Amy and stayed low to the ground, standing enough so that I could see Mi Vida covering his brother and Evie’s man.
And then I made the lethal mistake of making eye contact with Dylan; he had these beady, soulless eyes, and they didn’t blink when he swung his gun from Payton to me.
It’s like I was pulled back down. I know that my body knows what to do, but this felt different.
I swear it was Hecate, Lilith, Aphrodite, and Nike.
I felt their presence all around me, and I know that they’re why I had a safe place to land.
I didn’t feel a thing when I hit the ground for a second time.
I also heard their voices in my head. They talked over both Alvi telling Dylan to put the gun down and Amy and Hunter’s screams. They wanted to make sure that I heard them when they told me that everything was going to be okay now.
And I felt it, the truth in their words.
That was a second before another gun fired a round.
I covered my ears and heard Hunter’s voice in my head, telling me that I was safe and sound, and I believed him.
I trusted him. And then I heard his voice for real, and it was comforting.
It brought me back down to earth from the out-of-body orbit that I was in, before I was in his arms and off the ground.
I can taste his words as he kisses, "I love yous," over and over into my lips.
“ Te amo, mi cabrón ,” I smile through my words because it feels like I’ve come back to life, and it’s a life that I plan on having with him. Even if he does suck at math.