Chapter Fifty-Three
Hunter
Time passes with radio silence from Emily, and now it’s the day of the patching in party. I text her once to wish her well on her paper and receive no response, and I realize she must be head down in her work. I don’t blame her for not responding. In fact, thinking about how hard she works makes me smile a little. Today’s the day she’s due to turn her paper in, and one thing I appreciate about her the most — her dedication — means the paper she’s going to send in to her professor is going to be at least as good as the original. She is someone special.
If only she hadn’t lied and put Charlie in danger.
I get to the clubhouse early, hand Charlie over to Yolanda, who has kindly offered to watch him the entire day, and then plant myself at the bar. There’s a painful void inside me I intend to fill with alcohol.
A beer and a shot of whiskey land on the table before I even have a chance to order, and I look up to see Molly wink at me.
“You look like you need this.”
“I’ll take the same medicine, too,” come’s Diesel’s voice to my left. As I look up, I see him sit down on the stool. He winces as he settles in. “Told the doctor’s I won’t take any of that morphine shit. Seen too many people go from injured to addicted to take anything stronger than aspirin or a shot of whiskey.”
Molly turns to pour for Diesel while I give my friend a careful pat on the back.
“Surprised they let you out so soon,” I say.
“Checked myself out as soon as they got my wound patched and the bleeding shot. Anything after that is just paying way too much to have my ass sit in an uncomfortable bed while being spoonfed Jell-O. Might’ve considered it if Esteban, the fifty-five-year-old nurse who gave me my sponge bath, had said ‘yes’ to my proposal, but I thought it best to move on.”
“Why’d you leave a sweet situation like that?” I say.
“Because Esteban, despite his wonderful bedside manner and miraculous ability to probe and clean places on me I didn’t even know existed, was happily married and unwilling to extend his probing abilities beyond his sponge-work.” Diesel then reaches behind the bar, grabs himself a bottle, and pours himself and me a shot. Before I pick up my glass, I look at Molly, and when she nods, I lift it. Diesel continues, “To the ones who got away.”
That makes me flinch. “To the ones who got away.”
I down it. My phone buzzes at that moment. It’s a text from Sophie. Have you seen Emily lately? I delete it and pour myself another shot.
“Wouldn’t figure you to be so serious about Esteban. He ain’t your usual type,” I say.
“Never felt the urge to go that way before, but when he was getting into my nooks and crannies, I felt something, man. It was like a twinge, but in my soul.”
"A twinge in your soul, huh?" I chuckle, shaking my head. "Sounds like you might've found your soulmate there, Diesel."
"Don't mock my pain, brother," Diesel says, his face deadpan but his eyes twinkling with mirth. "I might never recover from this heartbreak."
We both laugh, and for a moment, I forget about the heaviness in my chest. But it's only temporary. As soon as the laughter dies down, I feel that familiar ache creeping back in.
Diesel must notice the change in my demeanor, because he leans in closer, his voice lowering. "How you holding up, man? For real?"
I take a long pull from my beer before answering. "I'm fine."
"Bullshit," Diesel says, not unkindly. "You look like hammered shit, and I'm the one who just got out of the hospital."
I sigh, running a hand through my hair. "It's complicated."
"Ain't it always?" Diesel nods. "You wanna talk about it?"
For a moment, I consider brushing him off. But then I remember that this is Diesel, my brother in all but blood. If there's anyone I can trust with this, it's him.
"It's Emily," I admit finally. "I can't stop thinking about her, even though I know I should. How good she was with Charlie, how good she made me feel. Fuck, I know I’ll be damn lucky if I ever find anyone even close to her. But after what she did, the danger she put Charlie in, the lies… I had to end it."
Diesel nods, understanding. “She was your Esteban. She made you tingle in ways you’ll never forget, but it wasn’t meant to be.”
“Don’t compare what I had with her to what you had for a moment with the old man who gave you a sponge bath.”
“He was very vigorous. And this was a life-changing bath. Tell you what, if it’ll help you take your mind off Emily, I’d be happy to beat you around the face a few times and send you to the hospital. Then you can meet Esteban and see what I’m talking about.”
Behind me, I hear music start, voices rise, and the sound of glasses clinking together. It’s nearly time for the party. I force a smile, though I’ve never felt so empty inside. This is a moment where I should be proud — I’ve bought safety and security for Charlie, a chance to make this place a home, build him a good life. How many people can say they literally saved someone’s life? Yet, here I am, having done that for the sweetest, most innocent little guy who makes me proud to be an almost-dad, and I feel nothing but empty pain in my chest.
And when I look over at the little guy, I see it in him, too. See the bags under his eyes, the lines in his forehead, hear the tone in his cries. He misses her, just as much as I do.
Maybe she was my Esteban… or even better.
My phone buzzes again. A text from Harper this time. I leave her on read.
I sigh. For my sake, and Charlie’s, I have to move on.
“I’ll have to take a rain check on the offer to get my ass beat so I can get a sponge bath from your guy. Today and tonight, there’s only one thing on my mind, Diesel.”
“What’s that?”
I down my drink, stand, and face the party. “It’s time I move on from Emily.”
* * * * *
Patch on my cut, a scrap of pride in my heart, and just the right amount of liquor in my blood that the smile on my face doesn’t feel completely fake, I step out into the parking lot of The Noble Fir, an unlit cigar in my hand and Diesel at my side.
An unexpected voice makes me drop the cigar. “Been looking all over for you, cockface.”
“Sophie?”
I look to the sound and see not just Sophie, but Harper and Maggie, too. All three stand just outside the clubhouse, watching me with their arms crossed. This is not the reunion I was hoping for. Each one of these women — beyond the looks of condemnation on their grim faces — is a reminder of what I’ve lost. That pain that had stayed in the background for the last few hours as I celebrated joining a new family suddenly surges to the forefront with staggering intensity. It’ll be a long, long time before Emily is out of my blood, and the last thing I need is to face three walking, talking reminders of that fact. I open my mouth to tell them off, when Diesel interrupts me.
“Hunter, you know these ladies?” Diesel says.
“Yes, he knows us. He’s also been dodging us,” Harper says. “I mean, leaving us on fucking ‘read’? Who the fuck does that?”
“Bro, did you really?” Diesel says. “That’s fucking low, man. Like, I know you just broke up with her, but there are rules, man. We live in a society.”
“Not now, Diesel,” I reply.
“But the politeness we showed you before ends now, you festering dickhole,” Sophie says.
Sophie steps forward and raises her hand as if to slap me, but Maggie intervenes. “Control yourself, Sophie.”
“Why the fuck do I need to be nice to the man who’s worse than having leprosy on my clitoris?”
“Crass girl, let the adults handle this.” Maggie rolls her eyes and turns her back to Sophie, who sighs and retreats a few steps. “Hunter,” she says, “This is serious. We wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t.”
There’s enough chill in her voice to sober me completely. “What is it, Maggie?”
“Emily’s been kidnapped.”