Chapter 24
“It’s not much farther now.” I say gently as I guide Nikolai in the direction of the guest room that’s been assigned to me for the night. Just down the hall from where Liz is likely sleeping.
“This is not a good look for me,” Nikolai says through gritted teeth. I’m sure that he’s still in a considerable amount of pain.
“You’ve looked better, that’s true.” I tease him as we cross the threshold of the room. I keep hold of the arm that Nikolai has wrapped over my shoulder as if I’m actually able to support him. He’s pretending that I’m helping him walk, and that’s enough for me for now. “Though, I do think that you’ve looked worse too.”
“Such a flatterer.” Nikolai starts to laugh, and then winces in pain. His free hand reaches to close the door behind us and then moves to wrap around his ribs. He likely still has something broken or bruised in there.
“Don’t laugh if it hurts, you big oaf.” I chastise him as we head toward the ensuite bathroom. I had all last night to get myself cleaned up and showered; but Billy’s blood, the grit and grime from the cell, are all still on Nikolai’s body and clothes. I think that we will both feel better once he’s all cleaned up and I’m not having to actively stare at a reminder of what happened yesterday.
“Where did they put Liz?” Nikolai asks as he shifts his hold from me to the polished bathroom counter. He tries to pull his shirt up and over his head, but he doesn’t seem to have the proper mobility to do it. He tries another angle, but he can’t seem to manage it. He must be more hurt than I originally thought.
“She’s down the hall in Henry’s room.” I say as I step forward to help him remove the dirty shirt from where it’s practically stuck to his body. Quickly. I even behave and refrain from letting myself trace the pronounced muscles in his stomach when I do it.
Nikolai arches a brow in question. I can feel the words that he’s very pointedly trying not to say to me as I move over to the shower and turn it on. I turn the heat to where I personally find it the most comfortable. Everything that we could possibly want is already in that shower. Luxury spa products and the robes on the wall that look impossibly soft. It feels like I’m staying in a five-star hotel instead of somebody’s house. Funny, in a weird way.
Nikolai finally blurts the question that he was poorly attempting to refrain from. “In a boy’s room? A much older boy’s room?”
“He’s not that much older.” I grin, purposefully not elaborating just to see how much it bothers him. It’s damned attractive to me that he is worried about my daughter. I’m more than a little touched by his concern for her. “Besides, Henry would never do anything to make Liz at all uncomfortable. He’s not that kind of kid.”
A muscle tenses in Nikolai’s jaw like he’s about to say something about his son and then catches himself.
I continue before he has the chance to say something silly.
“It’s kind of cute, actually. Liz doesn’t seem to be able to figure out which fantasy prince he reminds her of the most. She says that his hair is the most like Prince Eric’s, but that he doesn’t act like him. Though, she has considered the fact that Prince Eric plays the flute and Henry also has an interest in music. She’s been singing more too.” I answer him easily. Now that I know that he’s watching me, I don’t feel bad for making comments like that. “I think that Henry’s a good influence on her. I am more than happy to let them spend time together while we are staying here. Somebody that she can get to know and have a friendship with that already has something in common with her. They won’t have to keep secrets from one another about their family lives as she would have had to do otherwise.”
I pull my shirt up and over my head, dropping it to the floor before stepping out of my pants as well.
“What are you doing?”
“You couldn’t get your shirt off, do you really think that you’re going to be able to get yourself all washed up on your own?” I say with a knowing smile. I gesture for him to come closer. Tendrils of steam are curling up and out of the bathroom and licking at the ceiling. When he’s close enough, my hands move for his belt buckle.
“You don’t have to–” Nikolai starts to say, letting me know that he doesn’t expect anything to happen.
“Shut up.” I tell him as I push his pants down his hips, and he steps out of them. I open the shower door and follow him inside. I might press myself more closely to him than I need to as I reach for the loofa. My eyes trail over the scars on his body, the tattooed lines over the back of his hip. The new bruises on top of the ones that are still in the process of healing.
I put soap on the loofa and help him wash the blood off his body and out of his hair as gently as I can. The water near our feet turns pink as it rinses him clean. He washes my hair and his hands massaging my scalp feels so incredible. I try not to focus too much on how badly he must be hurt. I also try to not think too hard about the fact that he is still moving around like almost nothing is wrong.
Someday he will tell me the story of how he’s so accustomed to pain.
I hope that I’ll be ready to listen when that day comes.
I can’t even imagine the things that he’s had to live through to have this many scars.
When he’s clean, I wrap my arms around him from behind.
“I’m sorry that I scared you with all of this. But I don’t regret doing what I did,” he says without trying to turn around.
“I just needed to feel you, that’s all. I really thought that this might have been it. Thinking that I was losing you once was hard enough, but then seeing you all locked up like that. I’m not going to be able to sleep without seeing that. It was terrible.”
“Nothing that I didn’t deserve, I promise.” Nikolai says.
“Nobody deserves that.” I argue.
He doesn’t refute it. “It’s over now.”
Nikolai spins in my hold, and I can’t bring myself to look at him. I don’t want to cry. I’ve managed to keep from crying this whole time. The scent of the expensive soap swirls around us, the steam making me a little dizzy, but I don’t want to move. I don’t want to get out of this shower because I can’t even start to think what tomorrow is going to bring. Right now, I just want to know that Nikolai is alive. I want to feel him.
Nikolai moves the pair of us to the small built-in bench in the shower and sits with me in his lap. I shift to sit astride him. Desire rears its head inside of me but I ignore it for a moment.
“Tomorrow is going to be hard. I’m sure that Alek and Daniel are talking over the terms and conditions of my new employment with Daniel and the new metaphorical leash that they will keep me on. You have to know that they aren’t going to actually trust me for a good long while.” Nikolai says as he pushes my wet hair over my shoulders. His fingertips trail down the wet skin of my arm, leaving gooseflesh in their wake.
I nod that I do know. “I don’t want to be left out of whatever plans those are supposed to be. I want to do this together, if that’s what you want.”
Nikolai smiles softly. He crooks a finger under my chin and makes me look at him properly. “Of course that’s what I want. Nothing would make me happier than that.”
He kisses the point of my chin, then one cheek and the other. He kisses the tip of my nose and the space between my eyes.
“No more running away, no separation. Whatever comes next will be handled together.” Nikolai says in a voice that makes it sound like a promise. I like the sound of that very much.
I let him kiss my lips softly, just a whisper of his skin against mine. “However, shall we seal the deal, Mr. Volkovich?”
“Hmm, I think something will come up.” Nikolai’s hands drop to the curve of my ass, pulling me forward on his lap to feel his hardening length growing between my legs. Pushing insistently on the place that it belongs. I lift up onto my knees as he positions himself underneath me and I lower myself as slow as I can manage, inch by inch, until he’s filled me up. I don’t think that I’m ever going to be fully used to the incredible way that he feels.
Unlike the other times, where our bodies met hard and fast, I set a slow pace. His hands guide my hips, keeping me moving at a slow pace. It feels heavier, like we are sealing something bigger than ourselves.
Nikolai’s hand rounds the top of my thigh, his thumb working against my clit in a way that matches my pace. I just keep tracing his face with my fingers, like I’m going to magically discover new details that I’ve never noticed before. I push my hands up into his wet hair, making soft fists and holding tightly as my forehead falls to his.
My breathing starts to come in shallow bursts as I move my hips faster, rocking against him as he teases me higher. “Right there,” I breathe, and he kisses me. He doesn’t stop even as my orgasm rocks through me, and he starts to pulsate inside of me. He kisses me like I’m the oxygen that he needs to breathe. He kisses me like I’m his whole entire world and I soak up every moment of it.
I don’t know what I would have done if Alek and Daniel hadn’t agreed to the deal. If Horus hadn’t convinced them. I don’t think that I would have been able to leave that cell. I couldn’t have walked out of there with Nikolai still in there. They would have had to drag me out. I wouldn’t have stopped fighting for him nonetheless.
I don’t intend to ever let him go.