Eight
Helena woke to the soft, golden light of Saturday filtering through the blinds. She lay still, the ache in her chest heavy. Thoughts of Trevor’s mom kept pushing to the surface, reminding her of the long, painful goodbyes that seemed to stretch on forever.
She hadn’t been to the hiking trail where her father died—and suddenly the need to see it pressed down on her with a fierce urgency.
Maybe it was the guilt of keeping her distance, or maybe it was Trevor’s grief over the final days of his mother stirring something inside her—but whatever the reason, today she needed to go.
Helena slipped from the guest room at Trevor’s and followed the scent of coffee to the kitchen.
Trevor was outside on the small back patio.
She poured a cup and loaded it with milk then eased the screen door open.
“Room for one more or would you rather be alone?” She spotted his Bible on his lap and didn’t want to disturb his prayers.
“I was just finishing up. I’m at a loss, and when I don’t have the answers, I know who does.” He held it up and smirked. “I’ll be honest, though. I still don’t have answers, but I have more peace than before.”
“Sometimes the peace is more precious than the answers.”
“Amen.” He patted the patio chair next to him and she sank into the thick cushion on the wicker rocker, sipping her coffee.
Trevor made it just like she liked it—strong.
“Today, I want to go to the trailhead where my father had his accident. I haven’t been, but I want to see it for myself.
No answers will come, but maybe God will give me more peace, too.
” She wrapped her fingers around the warm mug.
“And to be honest, I need a break from the death and danger. If even for an hour or two. I’ll start back Monday, sifting through Kendra’s car, though other CSIs have been doing that.
I need to get back to my own garage, too.
And I have to meet with the insurance company on Monday.
They’ve inspected and talked to Brody Baird, the arson investigator.
Hopefully, they won’t be a major headache for me. ”
“I hope not. I could use a break, as well, if you don’t mind company? I can leave you alone to sit and reflect, or pray, and hike around a little myself. Sometimes nature makes me feel even closer to God, which might sound silly when God is as present here as He is there, but it’s how I feel.”
“Me, too. I’d be happy to have you come with me. It’s a little bit of a drive. Will your mom be okay?”
“I’ll call and check in. If she’s having a better, easier day, then I’ll go, and if not, I’ll stay behind.
I don’t want to be too far from her. I don’t have much…
much time left.” He blew a heavy breath.
“I dropped out of school when I was sixteen. Got my GED and a job because Mom couldn’t work and disability wasn’t enough to make ends meet.
She’s always been my priority—my life. I have no idea what I’m going to do without her. ”
Helena was moved at his trust to confide in her.
It shifted the guard she’d erected but, in this moment, she didn’t care.
“You’re a brave man, Trevor. To take on such responsibility at a young age and make a good life for yourself and for her…
Not every son would have done that. I know how proud she is of you. ”
His neck flushed crimson. “I don’t feel like a hero.
I don’t think caring for your family should be heroic.
It should simply be love, honor and loyalty.
She’s the real hero. She didn’t bat an eye that night.
She ran right into the burning house to save my sister.
And I just…” He shifted and peered into her eyes, his filled with a sheen of moisture.
“I stood there and did absolutely nothing, like a coward.”
Helena reached out and took his hand. Trevor had been holding this in too long. “Trevor, you were fourteen years old. A child. Not a man, even if your dad walking out forced you to assume the duties of one—you were just a boy. You ran into fire for me.”
“It was mostly smoke. The fire hadn’t reached your room.”
“Trevor Slate, you would have climbed that trellis and rescued me no matter what. I know it deep in my heart.”
Lark chuffed at Trevor. “See, even Lark agrees.”
Trevor chuckled and swiped his eyes. “I don’t know what I would have done, Helena. But I love the undeserved faith you have in me.”
“I trust you, Trevor. I don’t trust anyone.
My dad. But now I’m second-guessing even him with what Uncle Rick told me, your mom told me, and the fact Alicia was found in our crawl space.
Men misunderstand me, are intimidated by me, or turned off because I don’t fit a certain feminine mold.
Sometimes they try to conquer me just to say they can—I’ve overhead it at work.
But you? I trust you. You’re honest. You don’t pull punches.
You’re my friend. I don’t have a lot of those, either. ”
Trevor remained silent. He’d likely overheard it, too, and wasn’t going to try and lie to make her feel better.
He squeezed her hand. “I am your friend, Helena. And I trust you. You saved me, too, you know.” He scratched Lark’s ear. “And you, too, girl.”
The moment grew heavy and thick with unspoken words.
Words and feelings she didn’t want to explore.
Couldn’t. Instead, she let his hand go, stood and sighed.
“I’m going to finish this coffee, let Uncle Rick know what I’m doing and ask him about my mom.
He owes me answers, not cryptic declarations about the past.”
“I’ll be ready in thirty minutes and can pack backpacks for us.”
“Thank you.”
She hurried back to the guest room, drinking her coffee and calling Uncle Rick. The cell phone reception was shoddy out at Dad’s hunting cabin but sometimes it worked and maybe he wasn’t even there. Maybe he was in town.
Uncle Rick answered on the second ring. “Hey, kiddo. You okay? Nothing else has happened, has it?”
“No. But I heard through the grapevine that you dated my mom before my dad. Is that true?”
Uncle Rick’s silence told her everything she needed to know.
He had dated Mom first.
“That was a long time ago, Helena. I was seventeen. Your dad sixteen. Regina caught my eye. All those dark curls—like yours. Man, you look just like her. She was a fierce and bold girl—woman. And smart. I knew she was great at English, and I wasn’t half bad myself, but I used tutoring as a guise to get to know her.
We spent weeks together at the library. I fell hard.
I’m not going to lie. I asked her out and she said yes. I was surprised and elated.”
Maybe going in with Mom as the topic and not Dad was the key to Uncle Rick opening up to her. But she’d had no clue her mom was his soft spot when she’d talked to him at the diner.
“So, what happened?”
“We started dating. Then I went off to college. I came home that Christmas break and caught her and Bruce kissing behind the garage. I’d like to say I was surprised that your dad went behind my back, but it was kind of his MO, Helena.
And I’m only telling you this because you’re like your mom and won’t let anything go. ”
He wasn’t wrong. He really knew Mom. “What do you mean it was his MO?”
“If I had something, Bruce wanted it. Didn’t matter what it was. A motorcycle, a new jacket, a girl… He was jealous of me, which was ridiculous. He wanted to be the hero—wanted to…be me. That’s how your Mimi put it.”
Helena was floored. No wonder Dad didn’t let her around Uncle Rick. He’d dated Mom first and there had been rivalry for ages. “But he was a hero.”
“Was he? He told everyone he rescued Twila Garrett from that barn, and that’s true. He did. But no one asked how the barn caught fire in the first place.”
Helena sank onto her bed. “Are you saying…?”
“I loved your dad. But you wanted honesty, I’m giving you honesty. And I’m sorry to taint your view of your father. For all his faults, he did love you. He adored you and your mom. That’s what you need to remember.”
Could her own father have set fire to a barn just to rescue a girl and become a hero?
It felt like Uncle Rick was implying that, but Dad had said saving the girl that day had made him want to join the fire department.
But maybe…maybe it wasn’t so much saving her as watching a building burn.
Maybe he never meant to put the girl in danger but was simply there to watch a fire burn.
Either way, the thoughts made the acid in her coffee churn in her gut.
No, she wasn’t going to believe that. That fire could have been an accident, not arson.
She didn’t care what Uncle Rick implied.
“Look I’m going out to the spot he died today. Would you want to come with us? Me and Trevor?”
Silence filtered across the line. “Yes, but I can’t. I have to be in Colorado Springs to bid on a construction job and won’t be back until this evening. Maybe we can have supper?”
“I’d like that. Thank you. For being honest.” Things made sense now—why Dad didn’t let Uncle Rick around much.
A heavy sigh reached her ears. “It wasn’t all him. We buried the hatchet concerning Regina. Some of it was me. It was hard to see her with him. See the life they built. That’s on me. And I’m sorry.”
“Me, too,” she murmured and ended the call. Then she dressed in the last outfit she had, which happened to be cargo pants and a T-shirt.
Once she exited her room, Trevor had backpacks ready and thermoses in hand.
“You okay?”
“Not really. I’ll tell you in the truck.”
Helena’s hands tightened around the wheel as she guided the truck up the winding road toward Pikes Peak. Her truck was better suited for the terrain. Two of her mechanics had brought it by early this morning. Not that Trevor would let her go anywhere in it alone.