37. Stevie
CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN
STEVIE
Islept deeper than I have in a long time.
After discussing the plans for Moore Mansion with Sebastian, Christian, and Hayden this morning, I realized how dangerous it’s going to be for them to take on the rest of the group.
No matter what, Silas and the other Society members will find out that Sebastian and I are frauds who are determined to take them all down.
My stomach was in knots, but the rest of my body was utterly exhausted from what happened at the library.
The only way I can explain it is as if I hadn’t slept for days and my limbs and mind shut down.
Almost twelve hours later, I feel clearheaded, but fearful because now I deeply understand the gravity of what we’re attempting to pull off.
What if we’re not able to get them all? Or something happens to one of us? How can I live with myself if I lost Sebastian? Because what he does is extremely dangerous. The thought brings bile up from the pit of my stomach, burning my throat with fear.
And if we survive this and complete the project we’ve worked so hard on, he’ll keep going. This is his life. And every time he takes on a new project, he’s putting his life at risk. How am I supposed to live with that?
I try to shake off the emotions, but they continue to cut at my insides.
Gripping the leather steering wheel, I drive down the winding highway on my way to my apartment.
It’s been weeks since I’ve been there, and before we enter the last event of the season—the one that will end everything—I want to be in my space once more.
Late this afternoon, I told Sebastian I wanted to get a few things from my place and that I wouldn’t take long. But I know it’s only a matter of minutes before I spot his front headlights behind me.
When I turn onto the small tree-lined street, I’m hit with a familiar feeling.
The safety that once was, the bubble I lived in before, no longer exists.
I’ve seen too much evil. The Stevie I used to be, the one who grabbed her favorite iced coffee every day, who worked out without a care in the world, and the one who lived and breathed her business.
Yeah, her? She no longer exists.
I pull into the subterranean parking lot of my apartment building, get out of my car, and take the elevator to the second floor.
The smell of plug-in wall fresheners blasts my nostrils with that horribly familiar artificial scent of lilac.
With my key in one hand and the lipstick Taser from Sebastian in the other, I open the door.
The place is dark, lacking the smell of my essential oils and perfume.
I walk over through the short entryway and into the kitchen to flip on a light.
The light illuminates the living room and hallway leading to my bedroom and office.
My eyes drag over the piles of stacked books on grave rubbing and science journals on hawkmoths I got from the bookstore, before leaving abruptly to move into Thompson Manor. Eerie remnant from the life I had.
I drop my bag onto the counter, then head into my bedroom. Without a thought, I fall face-first into the softness of my comforter, pulling the pillows close to my face, I breathe in my own scent. An unexpected tear falls from my eye. Am I mourning who I used to be?
Then a sound from the kitchen alerts me, and I sit right up.
“Hello?”
No answer. My heart beats faster.
I lift from the bed, reluctantly walking in the direction of the sound. “Hello?”
Then, from the corner of my eye, I see a figure standing by the front door and immediately know who it is.
“Sebastian! How the hell did you get in here?” I exclaim.
His boots thud on the tiled floor as he approaches me with a smirk. “Do you really need to ask me that at this point?”
I cock my head to the side. “I guess not.”
“What did you come back here for?” he asks.
I take my bottom lip between my teeth and shrug. “I don’t know.”
“You do.”
I sigh, hopping up to sit on top of the counter. “The last event is coming up so soon, and I’m having mixed feelings about it.”
His forehead furrows. “What do you mean by mixed feelings? This is almost over, and then we can relax for a bit.”
“For a bit? As in, how long? Until the next project comes?” I ask.
“Well…yeah.”
Running a hand through my hair, I think of a few different ways to explain to him my feelings and how scared I am that he’s going to take on a group of dangerous men. And that this won’t be his last.
“What if Moore Mansion doesn’t go the way we want it to?”
“What do you mean?”
“Like, what if you get hurt or killed?” My voice cracks as the words fall from my lips.
Sebastian’s face softens. He walks into the kitchen, stopping when his waist slides between my legs. His commanding fingers thread through my hair. “That’s not going to happen.”
I swallow hard, believing him, but he can’t predict everything, and there is always going to be a chance something could go wrong. “You don’t know that for certain.”
“I do,” he corrects me sternly. “This is my purpose. It’s why I was put on this earth, Stevie. If I was meant to die, then why would I be here in the first place?”
A million questions bounce around in my head. Like what happens after this project is complete? And us?
“And what happens if everything goes the way it’s supposed to? Am I supposed to simply go back to living my normal life?” I press more as a question for myself than for him.
“You can do whatever you want to do,” he tells me. “You were only needed for the Black Veil Society project. After that, it’s up to you how you move forward.”
Cotton forms in my throat. What does he mean that I was only needed for this project? “What about us?”
Sebastian’s hand falls from my face as he steps back. “What about us?”
“I go on dating a serial killer?” I ask. My tone didn’t come out how I intended, but I’m sure he got what I’m implying.
“Why wouldn’t you? There is no other option when it comes to us,” he states in a deeper tone than usual. Only briefly does it cause a shiver to crawl up my back.
“But—”
Sebastian rushes back to me with a quiet pace, and I don’t have a moment to see what happened, because his hand is wrapped around my throat, his thumb pressing against my windpipe.
My body locks in place. “You have the choice of whether or not you want to return to your regular life or not. But you also have the choice of joining me,” he says.
Bending closer, he brings his lips to brush against mine.
The sensation settles between my legs as a pool of arousal forms in my panties.
“What you do not have a choice in is whether you get to be mine, because you are. You are mine now, and you will be mine forever. Like it or not, Stevie, you will never be able to escape me.”
My lips part. I suck a tiny puff of precious air. He cares for me. It would frighten any other woman, but me, now I find it hot and intoxicating. He’s this obsessed—he wants me so badly he refuses to let me live without him.
Sebastian releases pressure on my throat, but only slightly. “You wouldn’t let me leave you?”
He chuckles, then brings his lips to mine, pressing deeply. His tongue slides into my mouth. Mine tangles with him for a moment of sweetness before he pulls away. “No.”
“What if something happens to you?” I nuzzle his nose and rest my forehead against his. “Then what am I supposed to do?”
The welcome release from his tight grip on my neck is all I need to bring my arms around him.
“I will not die, Stevie,” he reassures me. “You deal with death all the time, so I find it hard to believe someone like you is afraid of it.”
My eyes lock with his. They are wide pools of endless darkness, but I care for them more than I’d like to admit. “Death is the only thing in life that’s guaranteed.”
“I’m not going to die.” He kisses my forehead.
“I will not leave you.” A soft kiss is pressed on the tip of my nose as he hoists me up by my ass and lifts me off the counter.
I wrap my legs around him, and he turns toward the hallway.
“And if I do, I’m bringing you with me.” His lips crash into mine as he takes me into my bedroom.
He playfully tosses me on the bed, then rips off his shirt. “Why don’t we sleep here tonight?”
“We don’t have to,” I say. “I love the manor.”
He unlatches his belt, then zips it through his pants and tosses it to the side. “I want to. I think you need some grounding.” His pants slide off as he lowers to the bed. Slowly, his warm body crawls up mine until he’s caging me with his broad arms. “Let’s order pizza.”
I laugh. “What? Don’t we have a lot to do to prepare for the last event?”
His eyes find my lips. “We’re prepared, Stevie. Right now, you’re my priority.”
“Are you sure?” My fingertips glide over hot skin.
“Yes.” He smiles. “How about when this is all over, I take you to the graveyard of all graveyards?”
My eyes narrow, rubbing my lips together, convinced he’s offering something that he might now know exists. So, I play a little. “Oh yeah? Where would that be?”
“Greyfriars Kirkyard,” he states with confidence.
“Greyfriars?” I repeat, making sure I heard him correctly. “Are you serious?” Sebastian has my heart in a vise. “You know what that is?”
His nose runs down my neck. “Yeah. Obviously. It’s a well-known historical gothic cemetery dating back to the 1500s in Scotland.
” He rattles off the facts like he’s proud of himself, and I fucking eat it up.
“When you first told me you were into rubbing graves, I looked up cemeteries from across the world to see which one seemed the most unique, and that one came up. I thought maybe I’d take you one day. ”
My hands fly up to cover my face, as tears sting the backs of my eyes. I have always had to be more of a champion when it came to what I do for a living and my hobbies, but I’m not alone anymore.
He laughs and peels my hand away. “So, what do you say? How about we leave the day after we take the group out?”
“The next day?”
“Yes.”
“Oh god! Of course,” I squeak out, my palms coming up to cup his face. “Thank you!”
Sebastian kisses me deeply, then quickly pulls back. “But first, we’re going to play a little game.”
“A game?”
“I’m going to see how many orgasms I can give you before you can’t take anymore.”
My eyes widened, my stomach flutters. “I’m sorry, what?”
A devilish grin transforms his features. “Now, turn around and grab the headboard.”