42. Stevie
CHAPTER FORTY-TWO
STEVIE
Dr. Charles finally cleared Sebastian by the end of the week to return to the manor. He’ll stop by once a day for the next couple of weeks, slowly pulling back until Sebastian can start physical therapy on his shoulder.
“Ben must be cooking something good,” Sebastian says as we walk down the hall of the West Wing, headed for the dining room. “I can smell it from here.”
With my hand in his, we hear the chatter before we round the corner into the room.
“Breakfast at midnight is always a good idea,” I say.
River and Lux are sitting next to each other on one side of the table, and Christian is across from them.
The lit fireplace burns on the far side of the room, making the atmosphere warm and inviting.
The three of them are engaged in casual conversation, but then the room erupts in laughter from something Christian said.
“Hey! There you guys are.” River smiles excitedly as Sebastian pulls out my chair.
“Where’s Aunt Mae?” Sebastian scoots his chair in next to me.
River sips his water, then sets it down. “I think she’s in the kitchen with Ben—”
The door to the kitchen flies open and out walks Ben, followed by Mae, holding covered stainless steel serving dishes.
“Hello, family!” Aunt Mae exclaims when she sees us, then she places the food in the middle of the table.
“Hi,” I greet her, followed by the rest of the them.
“Hope you guys are hungry.” Ben places two more dishes on the table and chuckles. “What am I saying? This family is always hungry.”
Aunt Mae takes the seat at the end of the table, her face bright and wide-eyed for it being the middle of the night.
And then for the first time in what feels like forever, everything is quiet.
As we all serve ourselves eggs, fruit, and other breakfast choices, it’s not silence that I’d describe the tone in the room, but a calm quiet. The kind that settles after a storm.
The secret society is gone and Silas is gone. The constant fear that’s lived beneath my skin for almost a month has finally loosened its grip. And for once, nobody is undercover. Nobody is lying and nobody is trying to kill us. Well, probably not. With this group, there are no guarantees.
Poe chooses that moment to leap onto the table. The tiny black kitten lands directly in front of Sebastian’s plate.
“Absolutely not,” Sebastian says, grabbing him and setting him back on the floor at his feet. A small meow escapes his throat, and it makes me smile. Such a simple sound, but a simple sound that comes from a home.
Poe jumps right back up again.
“Your cat doesn’t respect you,” Christian teases.
Sebastian gives Christian a side-eye and sets the kitten down again. “My cat is a criminal.”
“He learned from the best,” River quips.
Sebastian narrows his eyes.
Christian grins at both of them, clearly entertained.
Lux reaches down and scratches beneath Poe’s chin as he makes his way from chair to chair.
I take a bite of my food, but my gaze comes back to Sebastian. My heart tightens. Is this what belonging feels like?
He catches me looking at him, but I don’t glance away from embarrassment. Because after everything—the fake dating, the near-death experience, the secrets and confessions and conversations—there’s no more pretending.
“You okay?” His voice is quiet enough that only I hear it.
I blink. “Fine.”
“Liar.”
I smile.
He rests a hand on my knee, and it’s exactly where I want it to be forever. I only want his touch, his hunger, his obsession.
“It’s nice being here,” I admit.
Dinner continues around us.
Sebastian’s eyes flick to my lips, he leans in and kisses me softly. “It’s where you belong.”
Christian’s story about an FBI supervisor he hasn’t seen eye to eye with recently is background noise. Poe jumps back onto Sebastian’s lap, curls into a ball and falls asleep.
This is family. It’s strange and questionable and not like any other regular one I’m sure, but it’s a family.
The thought warms something inside me, because for so long, I thought I existed on the outside of this world.
I understand funerals, the dead, and goodbyes.
I never imagined there would be room for me with a group of people who are just as unique as I am.
When dinner finally ends, everyone begins drifting away. Christian has an early flight to FBI headquarters in Washington, DC, River disappears with Lux, Aunt Mae heads back to her wing of the house, and Ben eventually leaves.
Which leaves Sebastian and me standing in the hallway. Alone. The soft golden lights cast long shadows across the floor, while Poe yawns dramatically from Sebastian’s arms.
“You tired?” he asks the kitten.
Poe blinks.
“Helpful.”
I laugh.
Sebastian glances at me, and that familiar warmth settles in his expression. The one that never used to be there. The one that now feels impossible to live without. “Come on.”
We walk toward our wing of the manor while neither of us speaks, but the silence isn’t uncomfortable. And not heavy in the way endings often are—or beginnings? Maybe both.
“I’ve been thinking.”
Sebastian groans. “That sounds dangerous.”
“What?” I bump my shoulder against his.
His smile appears instantly. God, I love that smile. The realization still feels shocking every time it crosses my mind, because there was a time when his presence was annoying. Now he’s the only one I want to be in the presence of. And imagining a room without him in it is slightly wrong.
“I meant what I said while we were staying in Thornfell. I’m going to stay involved.”
“Stevie.” His expression shifts immediately, and the playfulness disappears. “Are you sure?”
“I’m serious,” I say.
“I know,” he says, closing the bedroom door behind us. Poe jumps from his arms and walks over to his cat bed, filled with various toys. “You need someone to watch out for you.”
“I have people. We have people.”
“You have vigilantes.”
“Same thing.”
“No.” I shake my head. “Someone has to think about you and the victims.”
His jaw flexes. “I do. And the guys are like my brothers. They’ll always watch out for me.”
And they will, I trust them, but that’s the thing: is that beneath all the arrogance and sarcasm and impossible stubbornness…he cares—maybe too much—and so do I. I can’t let him be alone with this.
“I know you do.” I grab his hand in mine and fight back tears. I’m overcome with emotion. “I want to be with you, and I always want to make a difference,” I continue, but my voice turns hoarse—desperate. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you how I felt before—”
Suddenly his hands slide up my cheeks. “What, Stevie?”
I need to tell him how I feel. He needs to know how much I have fallen in love with him. It’s not just infatuation or obsession or whatever—it’s love.
“I love you.”
His eyes soften. “You love me?”
I nod, spilling tears. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before. But I almost lost you and—”
Sebastian pulls me into him. His warmth surrounds me, and I melt into his embrace and breathe him in. “You are my oxygen, Stevie. There’s no way I was going to leave you. Because as long as you’re living, you give me the air I need to breathe.”
The past weeks that have passed flash on the inside of my eyelids.
My arms wrap around his waist, and I squeeze him as hard as I can, afraid this moment won’t last. “I can’t lose you. And that’s why I need to be a part of your operation. Because if you go, I go.”
He hoists me up, wrapping my legs around his hips. “I will protect you forever.”
“Teach me to do what you do,” I say as he sets me on the bed, before kneeling on the floor in front of me.
“I will do anything you want me to.” His eyes blaze into mine as he looks up from bent knees.
My hands come to his face. “I want to be involved in everything you are.”
“I can do that.”
“And I want to learn from you—not be pawned off on Christian or Hayden for my protection.”
He slides between my legs, his face hardening. “I will always put your safety above everything else. So I can’t promise I won’t remove you from something I don’t feel like I can protect you from.”
I smile, because his answer is enough. And because as he kneels before me, he’s looking at me like I’m the only thing in the world. The intensity steals my breath. “Sebastian…”
He exhales slowly, then reaches for my hand. Sebastian Thompson guards—he protects and keeps pieces of himself locked away. But not with me. Not anymore.
“I spent years convinced I was going to be alone forever,” he says quietly.
My chest tightens, understanding that feeling myself. “I know.”
“When my parents died…” His voice roughens slightly. “Everything became about surviving.”
I squeeze his hand, and he squeezes back. “I had River. And the guys. Also Aunt Mae.”
“You have a family.”
“Not like this.” The words settle between us. Not like this. Not someone who sees every ugly part and stays anyway. Not someone who makes him laugh and challenges him, but chooses him. “Not like you.”
My eyes sting again.
“You’ve ruined me.”
The statement catches me completely off guard.
“What do you mean?”
A small smile appears. “Before you, I was perfectly content being insufferable.”
I laugh through the emotion gathering in my chest. “That’s your love confession?”
“It’s what you’re getting.”
“Terrible.”
“I know.” My heart feels impossibly full.
“I love you, too.” His forehead meets mine softly, and his words leave before I can second-guess them.
My breath catches. Those simple words—completely direct and honest. No games or back and forth, just honesty. And to us, it’s the most dangerous thing either of us has ever offered.
“I didn’t think this would happen,” I admit.
“You pepper-sprayed me.”
“You deserved that.”
“I absolutely did not.” He swipes a single tear from my cheek. The gesture is impossibly gentle. For a man who has spent his life fighting monsters.
“You appeared behind me in a cemetery.”
“I said your name.”
“You whispered.”
“I spoke.”
“You hunted me and chased me in the forest.”
His laughter echoes softly through the hallway. I love that sound, and I love him. The realization lands differently this time. It feels like I’ve come home.
Sebastian brushes a strand of hair behind my ear. “You belong here,” he says quietly. “You belong with me. With us.”
Emotion immediately climbs into my throat, and my eyes burn, because he doesn’t mean the organization, he means the family. The strange collection of damaged people who somehow found each other. The people who keep choosing each other.
“You belong, too.” Something vulnerable flashes across his face. Gone almost instantly.
His forehead is back resting against mine while his finger threads through my hair.
Neither of us speaks, because there is nothing left to say—at least not tonight.
For so long we danced around this with the banter, the bickering, and the fake dating. It all led to this. An undeniable connection has drawn us both in.
“I guess we’re stuck with each other now.”
His playful smile returns. “Looks that way.”
“Poor you.”
“Poor me?”
“I am very difficult.” I lean in.
“Stevie.”
“Hmm?” My eyes fall closed, rubbing my nose against his.
“I voluntarily went to cemeteries because you were there.”
I laugh. “Fair point.”
“And I will continue to go wherever you are.” His lips meet mine in a soft and desperate kiss. I wrap my arms around his neck while his hands slip underneath my shirt. They glide along the curves of my sides until he’s lifting the garment over my head.
“I would expect nothing less.” I shake my hair out.
Sebastian’s lips move down my neck, leaving a trail of wet kisses until he reaches the hollow of my collarbone. “You have a wild darkness in you that I will never stop exploring.”
He’s lit a fire inside my cold heart, and I can’t wait to see where it takes us.