CHAPTER 41
WREN
∞
In my moment of weakness, I was cruel to her. She admitted she cared about me and now, with my actions, I’ve made her regret everything. Everything I did to gain her trust and affection, has been tainted because I let myself be weak.
“That was a bit harsh,”
Alex says quietly.
“I know.”
I lift myself to my feet and settle into my chair at the table heavily.
“You know you can’t keep her on lockdown, right? That’s going to piss her off.”
“I don’t want her wandering about unsupervised. Especially after what she just witnessed.”
“Do you not trust her enough to not say anything?”
“I do, I just don’t trust that she won’t go off and do something stupid without meaning to.”
He comes to stand next to me and settles his hand on my shoulder. “She beat the shit out of you, Wren,”
he snickers. “Are you alright?”
“I deserved far worse for my actions. I put you both at risk.”
“Did hearing Charlotte’s name trigger you?”
“It did. My control is fragile as it is, and that was enough to shatter the small thread I had holding myself together.”
“You cried in front of her…”
“Everything just caught up with me. She has an infuriating effect on my emotions.”
“What are you going to do now?”
“Nothing. Nothing has changed, Alex.”
“So, you’re giving her up?”
“What?”
“Well, she basically said she wants nothing to do with you while you’re like this, and I can’t blame her. You’re no longer stable, Wren. You went completely feral on her…you looked like a rabid animal.”
“If she was that afraid of me, she would have run instead of trying to fight me.”
“She nailed you in the dick pretty hard,”
he snorts.
“I don’t recommend getting on her bad side,”
I sigh, slowly rubbing my cock as I flinch at the memory. “I think we need a day off from all of this. I can’t mentally handle what all this may mean, and I should go apologize to Chess.”
“I doubt she’ll want to see you so soon. I’m sure she’s a bit hurt by all of this since she was trying to help you.”
“You didn’t help it any by comparing what she was trying to do to me, to her past,”
I say sharply.
“I compared it because it was like what happened to her, Wren. Doing something like that against your will…are you going to tell me you wouldn’t have been upset about it?”
“Can you order some lunch from Russo’s?”
He looks at me confused as I change the subject so suddenly. “Sure? What time do you want it delivered?”
“Aim for twelve. Get me my usual and whatever you want…what do you think Chess likes to eat?”
“How would I know?”
I tap my fingers on my chin. “She doesn’t seem picky, and she ordered a pretty good burrito for breakfast yesterday,”
I mumble to myself.
“Wren, I doubt she’s going to want you to buy food for her. She refused to buy anything for her fridge, and I’m surprised she even accepted my offer for the cafeteria food.”
“What? Why?”
“She has no money, and before you argue, she doesn’t want you buying her shit.”
“She had no problem with me buying her breakfast yesterday,”
I grumble.
“Sure, but yesterday she wasn’t pissed off with you.”
“I don’t think she’s pissed off, I think she’s hurt. I threw the small inkling of kindness she showed me, right back in her face.”
I push back from the table and tug at the ripped shirt. “I’m going to take a shower. Order her the chicken alfredo with garlic bread and toss in a couple of pops too.”
“Do you want me to drop it off at her apartment when it comes in?”
“No, bring it here. I’ll take it to her myself.”
“Fine. I’ll see you in a few hours.”
He heads out the door and I make my way to the bathroom to take a quick shower. The tissue with Chess’s blood is still on the floor, and I’m surprised I’m not reacting to it in the same way I did yesterday. I toss it back in the trash and sigh as the water hits my skin.
Once I’m back in my room, I pause when I see her ripped shirt and shorts on the floor. I smirk to myself and pick them up. I place the shorts in one of my drawers and bring the shirt up to my nose.
It smells like her.
I tuck the shirt under my pillow and grab myself a clean pair of sweatpants and a new shirt. I’ve gone through quite a few clothes since I met her, and she still has one of my dress shirts in her possession as well. I settle myself onto my bed and close my eyes, hoping to at least rest my mind for a little while.
I startle awake when I hear rapping coming from my door. I glance at my phone, surprised I actually fell asleep for a few hours.
“Here’s your lunch,”
Alex murmurs around a chunk of garlic bread.
“Couldn’t even wait until you got back to your apartment?” I snort.
“It smelled too good to pass up. Did you get some sleep?”
“I did. I feel more clear-headed.”
I grab the bags from him, and he gives me a small salute before heading off down the hall.
I close the door behind me and make my way down to Chess’s apartment. I knock and wait a few minutes with no response. I knock again, wondering if she disobeyed a direct order and took off anyways.
I stagger back when the door gets ripped open. “What?!”
She snarls.
She’s back in my dress shirt and her cheeks are stained with tears. Her eyes are slightly swollen and red, and guilt rattles around in my chest. She’s been crying this whole time. She looks so hurt and angry as she glares up at me.
“I brought you food,”
I say quietly. Holding up the bags in front of her. Her stomach growls and I give her a small smile.
“I don’t want your fucking food. Go away.”
She tries to close the door on me, but I press my hand into it, preventing her from closing it further. “Leave me alone, Wren.”
I’m thankful she’s not upset enough to not be using my name. “I’m sorry I was harsh to you. I came over to apologize, and the food is a peace offering.”
She eyes the bags longingly before dropping her gaze to the ground. “Please, let me in, Chess.”
“I don’t want you here,”
she says bluntly.
“Okay. At least take the food then.”
I hold out one of the bags to her and she takes it from me as she rolls her eyes. I pull my hand away from the door and she closes it between us.
I move away from her door and settle my back against the wall, slowly sliding myself down to the floor. “I really fucked up.”
I let out a choked laugh as I bang my head lightly against the wall. I dig through my bag, pulling out the Greek wrap I usually get and biting into it.
I hope she at least eats the food. I imagine myself sitting in her apartment, sharing a meal with her as I polish off the wrap and fries before draining my pop. I’m fidgeting with the wrapper when the door opens. I glance up to see Chess staring at me with a confused look on her face.
“What are you doing?”
She whispers.
“Where are you going, Chess?”
It can’t be anywhere far, since she still hasn’t changed out of the dress shirt.
When my eyes settle back on her face, her gaze softens. “I was going to come and say thank you for the food. It was really good. Chicken alfredo is one of my favourites.”
“I’m glad.”
I pull myself to my feet and she takes a step back into her apartment. The motion hurts more than it should. “I’m sorry I hung around like this. I just…”
Fuck, I’m going to sound like such a fucking sap.
“I wanted to have lunch with you, and this was the closest I could be to you without you being angry with me.”
“I…I was trying to help you. I’m not angry at you, Wren, I’m angry at myself. I didn’t mean to trap you like that.”
“I know, Chess.”
“I don’t want to lose you.”
Her voice is so low, I can barely hear it. She looks up at me and fresh tears pool along her lashes. “For the first time in my life, I have someone I actually give a shit about, and I don’t want to lose you, Wren. Please don’t do this. Please don’t lose yourself.”
“Chess, I’m a lost cause.”
I surprise myself for saying that out loud to her. I’ve known it for a long time, and I resolved myself to my fate. Alex doesn’t even know my darkest thoughts, and he would never realize that I actually welcome death. The insanity is just a stepping stone to my final resting place.
“You’re not. I hated you and everything your kind stood for, Wren, but you made me see that there’s good in you, and I can’t judge everyone just because I hold hatred to those who hurt me in the past. After everything, you’re still trying to protect me from all the darkness…including from yourself.”
She fidgets with her fingers and pulls in a deep breath. “You have no real reason to protect me unless you actually like me, and the thought of you liking me, for me…it makes me unbelievably happy.”
I step towards her, anticipating her stepping back from me, but she doesn’t. She stares up at me and the tears she’s fighting to hold back, finally break through and cascade down her cheeks. “You said you can’t be with me if I don’t take control of the insanity. I won’t do a bloodletting, Chess…I can’t. If you truly don’t want me in your life like this, I’ll…I’ll give you the space you wish for.”
“I did say that, Wren.”
My heart drops. I knew this was going to be a possibility, and I thought I was prepared to hear it, but it still fucking hurts. I ruin everything…my very existence is a tragedy.
“As you wish, Francesca. I’m giving you and Alex the day off, so just try and enjoy your day.”
I step away from her and her hand launches out to grip mine. Her fingers tremble against mine.
“Please don’t go,”
she sobs. “I said that, but I don’t want you to go. If this is your plan for your end, I want to be there with you until you’re no longer with me.”
My heart feels like it’s ripping in half at the sadness in her voice. This hardened girl has completely opened herself up to me and all I’m doing is hurting her. Letting her go is the right thing to do, but my selfish ass just can’t do it. I feel connected to her in some way. I need her in my life right now. We were thrown together at random, but the more I think about it, the more I think the fates had a hand in this.
Sadistic fucks.
They threw someone into my life that I actually care for, just as I began to resolve myself to dying at the end of this. I’m sure they’re tormenting me for shits and giggles. The fates may give when they deem it appropriate, but it always comes at a price. I’m not looking forward to the moment the hammer drops on that reality, and they take their payment by force.
I’m clearly a sadomasochist myself, since I keep putting myself and Chess through all this bullshit. I’m hurting her and myself by allowing this to continue, but I can’t stay away from her.
I lean down towards her face and her lips part in anticipation. I lick my lips and swallow down the words that were about to break through.
I think I love her…
I’ve only ever loved Alex, but not in that way. He’s my only family and I’ll always love him. This girl though, she’s done something to me, and all my rational thoughts get thrown out the instant she’s involved. Little by little, she’s chipped away at my armor. I feel it in my chest. The thought of losing her is crippling. I want to make her mine. I want all of her to myself.
She grips the back of my neck, pulling me down as she crashes her lips against mine. The need coming from her radiates through my core. I won’t deny her…I can’t. She has the ability to make me bend to her will. She has the power to ruin me or make me whole.
Her tongue dips into my mouth and I can’t help the deep moan that comes from my lips. I loop my arms around her waist and pull her up against my body. Her fingers dig through my hair as my hands slide down to grip her ass.
I pull my face away from hers and she lets out a cute, disgruntled sigh which makes me laugh. “We probably shouldn’t be doing this out here. Alex could walk by at any moment.”
She steps back from me with a smirk on her face and opens her door for me to step through. Nyx spots me from her spot on the couch and launches off of it to run towards me. I crouch down in front of her and give her a small pat on the head as she purrs in front of me. Her innocence makes me smile, and her lack of fear of me is still a surprise.
“I don’t get it…”
Chess murmurs. “She seems to like you but hates Alex. I thought that maybe she just didn’t care about supernaturals when I saw her sleeping with you, but the way she reacted to Alex going near her, made things confusing.”
“I don’t understand it either,”
I snort. “I’m not complaining though. I think she’s adorable.”
I push myself back to my feet and turn to face Chess. I reach past her and close the door behind her. “She’s almost as cute as her mother.”
Her cheeks flush red and she tries to turn away from me, but I grip her jaw lightly and press my lips to hers. “You’re adorably vicious,”
I laugh against her lips.
“Rude,”
she grumbles, pushing me away playfully. She walks past me, purposefully wiggling her ass as she goes. She glances back at me and quirks an eyebrow. “Well? Are you coming?”
She chirps.
“I’m about to, and so are you,”
I growl, taking off after her.
She squeals out in surprise when I catch her and toss her over my shoulder. “Wren!”
She screams through a giggle as she props herself up against my back as I carry her to the bedroom. I smack her bare ass, and she lets out an adorable high-pitched moan. The sound makes my cock twitch. I toss her onto the bed, and she gasps as she bounces from the force of the fall.
“I’m surprised you put my shirt back on,”
I smirk as I tug my t-shirt off over my head.
“It’s a really nice shirt,”
she purrs, palming her own chest.
It makes me happy to see her finally comfortable with her own body. She’s not being shy around me at all as she pinches her nipples through the material. She bites her lip, closing her eyes and tipping her head back against the bed.
“I want to see you play with your clit, Chess.”
Her eyes settle back on me, and she gives me a devilish grin as she grips the top button on the shirt. I drop my pants to the ground and step closer to the bed. Her movements are excruciatingly slow as she pops each button. She slides the shirt off her body and holds it off the side of the bed, letting it drop to the floor.
I watch her as she drags her fingers across her skin in the most sensual way possible before settling her hand between her legs. She slowly pulses her fingers against her clit as she stares at me. My cock hardens as I watch her squirm at her own touch. The whimpers of pleasure falling from her lips as she rips an orgasm from her own body has me wanting to touch her myself.
She’s fucking gorgeous and so fucking sexy. I grip my cock and slowly rub myself as I watch her. Her eyes drift down at the motion, and she bites her lip, tossing her head back as she whimpers out my name.
Fuck me.
Hearing her say my name as she comes is euphoric…it’s personal. I never realized how much I needed to hear it. The blood whores and fang-bangers would never dare say my name in front of me, and they’re probably too afraid of me to ever say it in passing either. To them, I’m King Valkyrie and nothing more, but to Chess…I’m Wren. I’m the one she trusts with her body. I’m the one that she’ll turn to when she needs something. I’ll make her forget ever wanting to be alone…I’ll make her forget ever thinking she doesn’t deserve more.