Diego #3
“I don’t know. Pissed me off, but I liked that too. Couldn’t do it every day though. I’d have to murder you. That’s probably part of what made it so intense.”
“Special occasions only,” Wylie confirmed with a solemn nod.
They weren’t talking like this was their last time together, and that was dangerous, especially in Diego’s current state of mind. “Want to take a shower?” Diego asked as the familiar discomfort of having to deal his emotions started to settle in.
“In a minute,” Wylie said. “Is there something we did that you didn’t like?”
“No, I liked all of it,” Diego said, and that was the truth. He liked all of it a little too much.
“Because it seems like you’re…processing a bit more deeply,” Wylie said, ever cognizant of his reluctance to open up.
“Yeah, I am. It was powerful, what we just shared. And you’re…you’re leaving.” Tears slipped out of the corner of his eyes freely now, unchecked. “Damnit.”
Wylie’s arms were around him in an instant, holding him close.
He made a slight shushing sound, like ocean surf, not to quiet him, but to soothe him.
“This is new for me too,” he said after a minute.
“I’ve been trying things with you that I haven’t done with anyone else before.
You gotta let me know if I take it too far. ”
“I will. I really liked what we did and how you made me feel. It just brought up a lot of stuff, you know?” Diego said.
“Yeah, for me too,” Wylie murmured. The silence that followed made it seem as if Wylie was holding his breath, wanting to say more. Diego knew his little habits by now and could interpret things like that.
“What is it? Just tell me,” Diego said.
“I know you’re not ready, and that’s fine. I understand and I’m trying to accept it, even though it’s really fucking hard. But I want to leave the door open for whatever we might become in the future.”
An open door between them, one that he could walk through at any time. Wylie was giving him the option while honoring his agency. Wylie didn’t ask for any kind of answer or response, but Diego said softly, “Yeah. Okay.”
They ended up in the shower where Wylie insisted on washing him, head-to-foot, and drying him afterward too, as if he was helpless.
Aftercare, he called it. Sub drop, he said too, something Diego would need to research later.
They’d been mostly quiet but now, face to face in the soft steam of the bathroom and with their naked bodies so close, Wylie asked, “Do you like what we do and the way we do it?”
Diego took a deep breath, trying to get at the root of it. “Yes. It just takes a lot of trust, and it’s not easy for me to open up like that.” But Wylie had done it, invited his softer side to surface. To think Diego might have to leave that behind was a kind of death all its own.
“I know it does,” Wylie said, still searching his face. “Do you trust me?”
“Yes. And now you’re leaving.”
Wylie nodded, blinking back tears of his own. “Bad timing, huh?”
“Yeah, bad timing.”
They kissed again and, though tender, it was tinged with melancholy about their upcoming separation. A goodbye that tasted like tears, like the end.
Then there was still the rest of the morning to get through, breakfast and the last of Wylie’s packing–his phone charger, his favorite hoodie (formerly Diego’s), a little wooden carving of a sea turtle Diego had gotten him so that they’d have matching keepsakes.
“I’m going to miss you,” Diego said as they were saying goodbye, trying to avoid eye contact in case he started crying again.
“I’m going to miss you too, obviously. Are you going to call me?” Wylie asked, steadying his gaze until it seemed he was peering directly into his soul.
“Yes, but you’ll be busy. I’d rather you call me.”
Wylie frowned at that, no surprise there. “Are you going to come visit me?” he asked, his tender vulnerability shining through. At this, Diego stalled for an answer. “Diego,” Wylie said, practically begging.
Diego thought back to that picture of Wylie dressed up in the nice blue suit, looking so sharp and professional, ready to take on the world. Diego didn’t want to hold him back. “We’ll see. Text me when you get there?”
It was only a tiny fraction of what he really wanted, but he needed some assurance that Wylie wouldn’t forget about him completely the moment he left their area code.
“Yeah, I’ll send you pics of my new place. Come here, you stubborn asshole.” Wylie drew him into his arms and hugged him fiercely and kissed him as if their entire relationship existed only in that one perfect moment where Wylie’s hands and mouth belonged to him, and everything made sense.
Wylie pulled away and said with his eyes shining, “I love you.”
Diego nodded in silent defeat. “Yeah, I love you too.”
Shaking his head at him one last time, Wylie turned away and headed toward his car. Diego watched him cross the parking lot with his long, confident strides, trying to memorize the shape of him against the blinding summer sun.
Memories always started as ordinary moments. Diego hoped this wouldn’t be their last.