Chapter 3
CHAPTER THREE
TAMSYN
My heart lurches. Let’s just say that I’m not ready to face her. And I’m definitely not ready to face her alone. On the other hand, thank God she’s lucid and awake again. Those are great signs.
“Hey,” I say, trying several things at once. To sound calm and encouraging. To be a professional. To act innocent and not at all as though I’ve been fucking her husband for weeks and am more than halfway in love with him. “It’s okay. How are you feeling?”
She frowns and gives up on the effort to sit up straighter, instead collapsing back against the pillow and wincing. Then she reaches for her bandaged forehead and starts to touch it before I stop her. I don’t want any infections, especially with the power out and us stuck here for God knows how long with no way to leave and no antibiotics.
“My head hurts,” she says, her eyes drifting closing again.
“I know. It looks like you injured yourself. Probably a concussion. But we’re going to get you some Tylenol to help with the pain.”
She nods and takes a deep breath, her features evening out again. And I hate to sound like a broken record, but it’s hard not to stare at her. Especially now that I’ve seen those big and luminous eyes open and she’s given me the full force of her beauty. Think of any dark-haired bombshell you’ve seen before. Angelina Jolie. Elizabeth Taylor. Megan Fox. Now combine them and turn up the star wattage and tell me not to stare. She’s that beautiful.
Her eyes flicker open again, but she seems to be fighting a losing battle with her drowsiness. “Who are you?”
If she only knew. “My name is Tamsyn.”
Another vague frown. “Why are you taking care of me?”
“I’m a nurse.”
She nods, her attention drifting lower. “I like your necklace.”
Oh, shit.
Guilt swoops in. I quickly grab the little car charm that Lucien gave me during our day on the beach in Corfu, the one he said he hoped would remind me of my late father, the auto mechanic. Dad died last year and gave me my love of fancy cars, which is one of the things that Lucien and I have in common.
“Thank you,” I say, trying to sound nonchalant while also trying not to blush. Both impossible tasks. “I like cars.”
She takes another little rest, closing her eyes again as a faint smile drifts across her lips and disappears. “My husband gave me a necklace like that. Our first Christmas together.” She hesitates. “It was a heart, I think. Or was it the sun?” Her eyes open again, focusing in on me. “Why can’t I remember?”
“It’s okay,” I say, determined to keep her calm. “It’ll come back to you.”
She looks around, making a sound of vague dismay as she registers the pressing shadows and the rain pattering against the windows. “Why is it so dark?”
“The storm knocked the power out. Daniel went to find some candles and flashlights.”
“I’m at Ackerley?”
“Yes,” I say, gently pushing her back when she tries to sit up again. “Everything’s okay. I want you to rest.”
“But where’s Lucien?” she says sharply. “Is he here?”
“Yes.” I give her arm a reassuring squeeze, eager to ward off any incipient anxiety attacks. “He went to get you some dry clothes. He’ll be right back.”
That seems to work. Until it doesn’t.
She yanks her arm free and pushes herself upright in a sudden display of strength that startles me. “This isn’t right,” she says, her voice pitching higher. “I don’t know who you are. I don’t know why you’re touching me when I don’t know you. I don’t understand what’s happening.”
I ignore her growing panic and stay right where I am, determined to block her from standing up. She’s a real fall risk in her injured and agitated condition, and the last thing we need is for her to aggravate her poor, suffering head.
“It’s okay,” I say, grateful I’ve had experience with altered patients in the emergency room and the psych ward. “My name is Tamsyn. I’m your nurse. I’m here to take care of you?—”
“Lucien?” She rises to her knees and uses real force to push my shoulders. “Get away from me! I don’t want a nurse. I want my husband. Lucien? Lucien! ”
Luckily, a new distraction arrives in the form of pounding footsteps out in the hallway. Then a sudden beam of light slices through the darkness and drives a knife right through my pupils.
“What’s going on?” comes Daniel’s voice from the other side of that blinding light. “Everything okay?”
“Lucien?” Ravenna is screaming now. “ Lucien? ”
“Daniel, thank God,” I say, standing and blinking furiously to get my eyes back online. I abandon all efforts to be gentle and protect Ravenna’s modesty as the blankets fall away from her naked body and hit the floor. My only focus is on grabbing her shoulders and pushing her back before she really hurts herself. “Help me restrain her, please.”
“Ravenna, everything’s okay,” he says, quickly dumping his flashlights and candles on the nearest table and coming to assist. “No one’s going to hurt you.”
“Lucien!” She struggles against us, taking wild swings that force Daniel and me to duck and dodge. “Lucien!”
Mercifully, there’s another burst of hurried footsteps in the hallway just then.
“What the hell’s going on in here?” Lucien barks, appearing in the circle of light cast by the flashlights with an armful of clothes. He quickly tosses them to the floor and hurries over to help. “Stop it, Ravenna. Calm down. You’re going to hurt someone.”
He puts himself directly into the line of fire, standing in front of me and forcing me back several steps. “Stop it, Ravenna.” He grabs her, hunches down in her face and gives her a stern shake. “ Stop it. You’re not going to do this.”
She immediately goes still and cocks her head, tears streaming down her face as she focuses on him. Then she pivots on her knees to face him as he drops onto the sofa next to her. “Lucien? Where were you?”
“Where were you ?” he says gruffly.
She reaches for him, wrapping her arms around his neck and running her hands through his hair, studying him as though she can’t believe her eyes. “I needed you,” she says, a sob caught in her voice. “I needed you.”
With that, she pulls him in for several frantic kisses on his cheeks and then finally—deeply—his mouth.
Daniel and I backed up a few steps in the melee, but now we turn away from this reunion scene. It’s far too intimate for any bystanders, and the two of them certainly don’t need anything other than each other at this moment. I take a few more steps away from the sofa and out of the circle of light, too stricken by the sight of Lucien embracing his naked wife to do much more than run a hand over my aching gut.
In that miserable moment, I almost wish someone would swoop in and knock me out with a head injury. It would hurt less than this excruciating glimpse of what will surely be an epic reunion once Ravenna is healthy enough to hop back into bed with her husband.
Will he think of me as he fucks her? Will I even be a tiny footnote in his memory?
No. Of course I won’t.
As I hear Lucien murmuring to Ravenna behind me, I give myself a swift mental kick in the ass, choke back my rising emotion and remind myself of the good things happening here. Ravenna is injured and confused, true, but she’s alive and showing several positive signs of recovery. She’s home. She’s reunited with her beloved husband at their family home, safe now from whatever terrible forces kept her away for so long. This is a happy ending.
Even if my eyes and throat burn with what feels like a lifetime’s worth of tears.
But I’m not going to cry. I refuse. “Keep your head up, Tams,” Dad would say if he were here. So that’s what I’m going to do. I won’t be here long, anyway, so that’s a huge relief. By tomorrow, the storm will have passed and I can head back to Brooklyn, where I belong. There’s plenty of time then for me to be sad about the end of my relationship with Lucien.
Now is not the time.
“Sorry about that,” comes Daniel’s quiet voice beside me, startling me out of my thoughts.
“What?” I say, desperate to focus on anything other than the sound of Lucien’s tender voice as he talks to his wife behind us.
“You just got here, and now this .” Unfortunately, the room isn’t dark enough for me to escape the steadiness of Daniel’s pitying gaze. “I’m sorry. This has got to be tough for you.”
While I appreciate the compassion, I hate pity.
“This is a happy moment,” I say firmly. “And I’m a tough cookie. I’ll be fine.”
A gleam of admiration from Daniel.
“I want you to lie back down,” Lucien says in normal tones behind us. “Get some rest. We’ll check with Tamsyn to see if you can have something to eat.”
Daniel and I turn back around to discover that Lucien’s gotten her dressed by now. She’s wearing a hoodie and a pair of shorts. Lucien’s, judging by the way they drown her fit body.
“Don’t leave me,” she hastily says, sitting back against the cushions again and accepting the blankets over her lap, but reaching for his hand to keep him there. “I’m not tired.”
“Sure you are,” Lucien says.
“I just want to be with you, Lucien.”
I turn away again, undone by the absolute worship in her shining gaze as she looks at him. I recognize it because it’s the exact same look I’m sure I’ve given him every time we’ve ever been together. He certainly brings it out of the ladies, doesn’t he?
Stop it, Tamsyn, I tell myself, disgusted by my sickening jealousy.
Lucien hesitates. “I’m not going anywhere. But if you’re not tired, why don’t you tell us where you’ve been?”
“ Been? ” Ravenna says. “I’ve been right here.”
I gasp and turn back, exchanging an uncomprehending sidelong glance with Daniel.
Lucien looks as stunned as we are.
“You’ve been gone for two years, Ravenna,” he says quietly. “We thought you drowned in a boating accident out on the bay. Are you telling me you don’t remember that?”
A weak laugh from Ravenna. “Stop it, Lucien. Now isn’t the time for jokes.”
“I’m serious,” Lucien says.
In the dead silence that follows, Ravenna’s smile, such as it is, slowly slips away. She tries to laugh again but doesn’t seem to have the heart for it. Then she shakes her head and keeps shaking it exactly the way I did a few minutes ago.
I don’t blame her. There’s a lot to disbelieve about this entire situation.
When her silent pleas for Lucien to retract his statement get her nowhere, she finally turns her beseeching eyes to me and Daniel for confirmation. Much as I hate pity for myself, I discover I have plenty for this wrecked woman as she sits there trying to figure out what happened to life as she knew it.
Daniel nods.
I nod.
Eternity passes.
Then Ravenna claps her hands over her mouth and lets out an unearthly sound that’s somewhere between a wail and a sob. “It’s not true.” The tears are flowing so hot and heavy that she can barely get the words out. “It’s not true. It’s not true! ”
“It’s true, Ravenna,” Lucien says. “I need you to calm down and focus so we can figure this out.”
“ It’s not true! ”
I’ve seen enough. I hurry forward and employ the strict voice they taught us to use at the hospital when patients’ families get overwrought and start interfering with health care. “That’s enough, Lucien. I need you to get up and get out of my way so I can give her Tylenol and make sure she calms down. Let’s go. Now. ”
To my surprise, Lucien complies without a word. I resume my seat by her hip and press her back against the pillows. “Ravenna?—”
“ It’s not true! It’s not true! ”
“ Ravenna . I need you to take some deep breaths and calm down. We don’t want to make your headache worse. And I need you to take this medicine.” I glance around, and the men spring into action, passing me a bottle of Tylenol and a bottle of water.
“But I don’t… I don’t…” Ravenna takes a shuddering breath or two, gradually mastering her sobs and regaining control the way overwrought little kids do when they’ve missed their normal naptime. “I don’t…know who…you are.”
“It’s okay,” I say as I shake out a couple of tablets and hand them to her along with the water bottle. “I’m Tamsyn. I’m here to take care of you. We’ll figure out the rest tomorrow. Okay?”
She swipes her eyes with the back of her hand and takes the medicine. “Okay.”
“Don’t drink too much,” I say. “I don’t want you to get nauseated?—”
Too late. She drinks most of the bottle before I can grab it back from her. Then she eases back against the pillows and rolls to her side, settling in. The effort seems to cost her that last little bit of strength, because her eyes close and her voice is barely there when she speaks again. “I’m tired.”
“I know. You can get a little sleep. I’ll check on you.”
Those eyes flicker open, and she stares at me with unmistakable gratitude for a second before closing them again. “Thank you, Tamsyn. You’re a good nurse. Make sure Lucien doesn’t leave me. I need him.”
I’m touched. I don’t want to be, but I am. And that’s on top of the generalized protectiveness I feel toward all my patients. I almost feel as though the two of us could have been friends under other circumstances. How twisted is that? “I will.”
With that, she relaxes into sleep, her breath immediately evening out.
When I’m sure she’s out, I get up and discover the men standing there looking as shell-shocked as I feel.
Lucien recovers first and comes closer. “Tamsyn,” he says, keeping his voice low. “We need to talk.”
“There’s nothing to talk about.” I clear my throat, doing my best to get rid of at least some of the tightness there so I can get the words out. “Focus on your wife. She needs you.”
His jaw tightens. “Tamsyn…”
I quickly look away from his penetrating urgency. I don’t have the strength for it. Not with this raw pain growing inside me and threatening my limited self-control. I’m trying to be graceful about this whole situation, but I’m only human and my heart is broken here. Which is exactly what I deserve, because I knew this would end badly for me the first time he gave me one of his smoldering looks, and I foolishly let it all happen anyway.
“We need to find something in the kitchen to eat. Then everyone should grab a sofa and try to get some sleep,” I say with a quick glance at Daniel. “We’ve got a long night ahead of us.”