Chapter 16
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
LUCIEN
It takes me a beat or two to process the nightmare scenario in front of me. The two women in my life alone together in a frigid silence. Ravenna with a gleam of something disquieting in her eyes as she hastily squats and gathers up some pictures that fell on the floor. Tamsyn looking stricken and putting a lot of effort into avoiding looking at me.
“Lucien.” Tamsyn blinks and clears her throat. Still no eye contact. “I’m glad you’re back. I was just about to call you.”
“They discharged me early,” Ravenna says, glancing up at me while she continues with the pictures and puts them into their box. That gleam of whatever it was is gone now, leaving only open friendliness. This is one of the worst things about Ravenna. Her mask rarely slips. When it does, it’s never for long enough for you to get a bead on the real her. Right now, for instance, she’s a perfect peace dove. The only thing missing is an olive branch clamped in her pretty little beak. But this is not the performance that put that look on Tamsyn’s face. I know it’s not. “I wanted to surprise you.”
“You succeeded,” I say, my voice clipped. “It was a hell of a surprise when the doctor called just now and told me you’d already come home. I was on my way to come get you and talk to the doctor face to face. Which is what we discussed.”
“It’s okay. I know how busy you are. I’m sure you were doing important things.” Ravenna stands, having lobbed her suitably passive-aggressive comment with the skill of Serena Williams serving at a Wimbledon final. But she moves too quickly, wobbling and pressing a hand to her bandaged forehead.
I know what she’s doing. I’ll bet Tamsyn does, too. There’s nothing quite like using a lingering injury as a distraction to get yourself out of any potential hot seats. But Tamsyn and I both reflexively reach for her to make sure she’s steady.
“I’m okay.” Ravenna waves us off with a hint of embarrassment. “I probably just need to lie down for a bit.”
“I’m sure you do,” I say, unable to keep the rough edges out of my voice. Especially considering Tamsyn’s ongoing refusal to look at me. “Which makes me wonder why you’re not resting in your room. Especially after I told you not to bother Tamsyn .” Here’s the thing. Ravenna and I have never squared off against each other. Not like this. I’ve never drawn my line in the sand and told her, You shall not pass . But times change. This is that moment. I stare her down to make sure she realizes it. “Don’t do it again. Understood?”
The lengthy pause tells me she understands perfectly well, even if her expression never changes. And the responsive gleam in her eye feels like a silent but unmistakable challenge accepted to me.
“I wanted to get my pictures. And I wanted to talk to her.” There’s a delicate pause and the perfect tinge of sadness as Ravenna puts the lid on her box. “She’s very sweet, Lucien. I see why you’re in love with her.”
Hearing the L-word spoken aloud hits me hard. For a lot of reasons. Part of me knows that Ravenna is just throwing it out there to get a reaction, so there’s that. Plus, I’ve only just admitted it to myself, much less worked up the courage to confess it to Tamsyn anytime soon. I’m not ready to have it thrown around like a Frisbee at a dog park. Especially by Ravenna.
Still, I can’t help checking Tamsyn’s reaction.
“You know what? I’m just going to, ah, take a walk.” Tamsyn gestures vaguely toward the door as she takes a step or two in that direction. Her cheeks are in flames, looking the way mine feel. “You two obviously need to talk. So I’ll just?—”
“ You don’t need to go anywhere,” I tell her. “This is your cottage. Ravenna and I will go up to the house and leave you in peace. Let’s go, Ravenna.”
Tamsyn nods, her gaze not coming within a mile of mine. “Okay.”
“I’m glad we had the chance to talk, Tamsyn,” Ravenna says.
To my surprise, Tamsyn’s head snaps up at this. She gives Ravenna a long and speculative stare. “I’m sure you are.”
“Think about what I said,” Ravenna says, touching Tamsyn on the arm as she exits. Any bystander would think that the two women were neighbors who just had a friendly tea and muffin while their kids were at school.
But I know better. “What did she say to you?” I ask Tamsyn, dropping my voice as the screen door swings shut behind Ravenna.
She shakes her head, her eyes finally connecting with mine just long enough for me to register her wounded confusion. “Not now, Lucien.”
Fuck . “Tamsyn…”
She turns away, presenting me with a back that’s straight and rigid as she folds her arms. “It’s fine. Go.”
I hesitate, but she doesn’t budge. Yet she talks about my brick walls. “I’ll go as long as you remember what we talked about earlier.”
A disbelieving laugh from Tamsyn. “The mind-fuckery here at Ackerley is epic.”
I want to argue, but what can I say? She’s not wrong. I stifle a curse, bang through the door and meet Ravenna outside. She quickly falls into step beside me.
“Lucien—”
“Save it, Ravenna. The study. Now.”
We head for the study, where I shut the door behind her and go straight to my desk. I run through a few quick strategies as I sit, finally deciding to play it her way. Just for kicks and giggles, I’ll pretend I believe she really did just show up again. Anything to get rid of her. It’s worth any price.
She pauses, glancing at the sofa before reluctantly taking one of the chairs opposite my desk. “Why do I feel like you’re taking a business meeting with me?”
“We got some things to discuss. I’d like to do it calmly and efficiently. Let’s start with your medical care. Why did you tell your doctors to stop discussing your condition with me?”
There’s a quiet gleam of something in her eyes, one of her fleeting little gotchas . “I’m entitled to medical privacy.”
“I’m your husband, as you keep reminding me. I need to know what your psychiatrist’s conclusions are.”
She shrugs, the picture of polite puzzlement. “I’m telling you what they are. I’m doing well. All the doctors hope I’ll get my memory back soon. The concussion is healing. What more do you need to know?”
I need to know whether I’m dealing with a sociopath if not a psychopath, but I don’t plan to inflame the situation by using those words with her. “As your husband?—”
“Which is it, Lucien? I thought you wanted a divorce? If you’re telling me there’s hope for this marriage, then that’s a whole different conversation.”
“There’s no hope for this marriage.” My words come out slow and heavy, probably because I’m putting so much effort into controlling my frustration and my temper. “I’ve already put in a call to my lawyers. They’re drawing up the paperwork. I’m willing to make you a very generous settlement of fifty million.”
She says nothing, but I hear the subtle hitch of her breath. When I told her I wanted a divorce before her disappearance, I offered thirty million. She laughed in my face. Maybe I’m getting somewhere this time.
“Additionally, I’ll buy you a house anywhere you want. This is all exceptionally fair based on our prenup and the length of our marriage. You and I both know it’s far more than a judge would ever award you in a contested divorce. You’ll be set for life. You can go back to work as a decorator or lie on the beach every day for the next fifty years. It’s up to you.” I remember one more thing and reach into the desk drawer to withdraw a set of keys, which I lean across the desk to offer her. “For your Jaguar. It’s still in the garage.”
She looks at me as though I’ve offered her a hot turd on a marble cheese plate, so I drop the keys on the desk. “Why don’t you understand, Lucien? It’s not about your money.”
That gets a laugh out of me. “No. It’s about control. It’s about you having the last word.”
“No. It’s about love .”
Another laugh from me. “Bullshit. Control is the only thing that’s ever mattered to you. You’re like a puppet master’s puppet master.”
“I’ve been thinking about our wedding since I got back home. That’s why I wanted the pictures.” Now looking teary, she sets her box on the desk, pops the lid and pulls out a shot of the two of us cutting the cake at our reception. She offers it to me, but I glance at it without taking it. “Remember how happy we were?”
I feel a distant tug of something. I don’t want to, but I do. Yeah, I remember. I thought I was the luckiest guy in the world. For about two seconds. Until she threw a stick of lit dynamite into the middle of my happiness and blew it up for the pleasure of making a fool out of me.
“Oh, I remember. That was before our wedding night. Remember that? When you told me you didn’t want kids even though you knew I did? It was also before our honeymoon, when you flirted with everyone in sight just to make me jealous. It’s like the real you came out as soon as the ring was on your finger. Like you wanted to see how many different ways you could rip my guts out. So don’t expect me to have any lingering good feelings for you. It’s too late. You destroyed them all.”
She leans closer, planting her hands on the desk and hunkering in. “Why would you say that when we were so happy together?”
Another laugh from me. Hollow. Disbelieving. Bitter. “You didn’t seem that happy when you were taking off to party with your friends and spend my money every chance you got.”
She’s got the audacity to look startled. No one does righteous shock like Ravenna. “That never happened.”
Yeah, okay. With that, I’ve hit the limit of my patience. “I’m not here to re-litigate the past with you. I’ve made my offer. You can stay here for a couple of weeks. Get your strength back. Get your memory back. All your things are up in the attic. We can have someone bring them down for you. We’ll put you in the green bedroom, like we discussed. Is there anything else?”
“ Yes, ” she says, her voice rising. “We can work this out.”
“No, we can’t.”
“Lucien.” She sounds so broken as she shakes her head and wipes a tear away from her shimmering green eyes. “I’m your wife. I plan to die as your wife.”
I would have believed her back in my younger days. Now I just feel disgust. “You’re delusional.”
She gets up and hurries over, dropping to her knees in front of me and planting her hands on the arms of my chair when I start to roll away from her. “Is this about kids? Because we can have kids. I’m ready now.”
There’s something about a beautiful woman on her knees in front of you, especially when she’s passionate and urgent. I feel another distant pang. I admit it. Luckily, an instant flood of revulsion wipes it out. I can remember. That doesn’t mean I want a resurrection. You know what’s also beautiful and urgent? A fire. That doesn’t mean you throw yourself into it.
I infuse my voice with steel, barbed wire and zero wiggle room. “The last thing I want is kids with you. Get up. You’re wasting your time.”
“It’s because of her , isn’t it? If she were out of the picture?—”
I don’t like the sound of that. “Tamsyn is in the picture. And this conversation is over.” I stand, forcing her to let go of my chair and pretending I don’t notice when she wobbles as she rises to her feet. “Like I said, we’ll bring your stuff down from the attic. Meanwhile, get some food. Get some rest. Get your strength back. Figure out what you want to do with your life. Something that doesn’t involve me. You’ve got two weeks.”
I walk off without giving her the chance to respond, far too agitated to be much good to myself or to the growing pile of work waiting for me in my study. Much as I want to go back to Tamsyn and check her mood after the encounter, I know it’s a bad idea right now. So I go for a quick swim, pushing myself through twenty hard and angry laps. A five-mile jog follows, at the end of which it crosses my mind that I should sign up for one of those iron man triathlons. But all the exercise has its desired effect, clearing my thoughts enough for me to tackle my work after I shower and gobble a quick, solitary dinner. I call it a night following a scotch nightcap or two, falling immediately into a dead sleep.
I’m not sure what wakes me. Whether it’s the way her naked body presses up against my naked body from behind, her silky leg gliding over the top of mine, or the scent she brings with her. Lilies of the valley. I smile into my pillow, groaning as her lips glide up the groove between my shoulder blades and press a hot kiss at the base of my neck. I feel the brush of her tongue. A hint of suction. A hum of pleasure.
That’s all it takes when Tamsyn touches me. I’m instantly ready, hard and straining for her slick little pussy even before she delves between my legs and strokes my heavy length. I groan, my hips beginning to thrust as I turn in the circle of her arms. Tamsyn and I always reached out and woke each other up while we were on the cruise. There’s something irresistible about the darkest part of the night and the way we surf the edge between sleeping and waking. I reach for her face, wanting her lips. Needing them. But she’s elusive tonight, slipping beneath the sheets and sliding lower before I can kiss her.
The next thing I know, she’s between my legs, right there . Those luscious lips run up and down my dick, making me croon and my hips jackknife as my flesh leaps for her. A muffled hum of pleasure from beneath the sheets answers me. She grips me firmly as I reach down to cup her head?—
It all goes nightmarishly wrong just as she takes me deep into her mouth.
Her hands are cold. And all this hair doesn’t belong on Tamsyn’s head. Probably because this isn’t Tamsyn at all. It’s Ravenna.
My entire body spasms, rejecting her in the split second it takes for full consciousness to slam into me. I don’t know how to describe the horror I feel in that moment. The disappointment. The revulsion. Imagine stepping into a perfect whirlpool bath only to discover, far too late, that it’s not water you’re stepping into at all. It’s vomit.
“What the fuck are you doing?” I roar, shoving her away from me and hauling ass out of bed. There’s no need to reach for a lamp. There’s enough moonlight streaming in from the windows for me to see her tousled hair and her pale body in all its nakedness. The perky and dark-tipped nipples. The bare cleft between her slender thighs. And I don’t need the light to hear the silky triumph in her voice.
“You’ve never been shy, Lucien. Don’t start now. I need you. I need that big dick inside me.”
“ Get the fuck out. ” Said dick is already shriveling like a rotten cucumber left in the sun as I find my shorts at the end of the bed and jerk them on. “What kind of stunt was that?”
“It’s no stunt, Lucien.”
“You’re wearing Tamsyn’s perfume? To trick me into fucking you? And you don’t call that a stunt ?”
“I need you to fuck me. You can pretend I’m her if you want. I don’t mind.” She cups her breasts, offering them to me as she arches and lets her head fall back. “It turns me on, Lucien.”
That does not surprise me. “You’re sick.”
She seems genuinely puzzled as she straightens and rubs her pussy, making herself moan. “Where’s the harm? I could use a little luck with you. And once we’re back together, it won’t matter how we got there.”
The insanity is mind boggling. I’m starting to choke on it. Amnesia or not—and I’d stake my fortune on not —she’s still Ravenna all the way to her rotten core. “It’s over. I wanted to do the right thing here. To take care of you until you get back on your feet. But you make it impossible.”
“It’s not over. It’ll never be over.” She comes closer, reaching out one of those cold hands as though she wants to touch my chest and try the whole thing again, but it’s too late. We are so far beyond that. “I told you. We can have a baby now. Anything you want. I’ll do anything to make it work.”
I grab her upper arm before she can touch me again, spy her silky robe on the floor and thrust it at her before frog-marching her to the door. “We’re done here. I tried doing the right thing, but there’s no way you can stay here. You’re leaving.”
A taunting laugh. “You can’t kick me out in the middle of the night, Lucien.”
“Watch me.”