Chapter 49
Chase never took his eyes off Aria as he spoke. These truths were going to be crushing and shameful for him, so he needed her strength. He also needed her eyes to know her emotions.
She was about to know he lied to her, he had not done it with ill intent but to protect Emily.
He no longer gave a fuck about Emily, she obviously had screwed him over so it was time for it all to be laid bare.
Chase sat unnaturally still for a long moment after the attorney's question.
The conference room had gone so quiet he could hear somebody shifting papers near the back wall. Somewhere to his right, a pen clicked once before stopping abruptly, like even nervous habits had suddenly become too loud.
His hands folded together tightly in his lap.
I'm here... it's time to tell the truth.
"When I was first discharged from the hospital," he began quietly, voice rougher than he intended, "I was given an apartment on a military base near the hospital in New Zealand."
He paused briefly. "It was small." He smiled a little. "But honestly? I loved it."
The room remained silent.
"Everything was simple there. I didn't know who I was, but I was startin' to figure out how to be somebody again."
His fingers rubbed absently against one another.
"I was doin' physical therapy. Learnin' how to take care of myself physically again. Tryin' to cook." A faint humorless breath left him. "Badly."
A few small smiles flickered around the room.
Even the judge softened slightly.
"Emily would come over a lot," he continued. "We'd watch movies. Hang out. Sometimes she'd help me by doing therapy with me at my place if I was having a really bad day... she was still technically my physical therapist."
His expression shifted, more careful now. Measured.
"We had a good time." A pause. "Honestly?" His throat moved. "She was my best friend."
Across the room, Emily visibly broke at that. Her eyes dropped immediately.
"But that's all I saw her as," he said quietly.
There it was, the truth. The rest was going to be ugly but necessary.
"Eventually..." he continued, choosing his words carefully, "she started tellin' me she had feelings for me." His jaw tightened slightly. "And I got uncomfortable."
The attorney shifted slightly. "Why uncomfortable?"
Chase looked down briefly.
Then answered honestly.
"Because I didn't wanna hurt her." A pause. "She was kind to me. She helped me." His fingers tightened together again. "But somethin' about sayin' yes felt..."
He frowned slightly. "Wrong. I also didn't really trust my own judgment back then," he admitted. "I didn't know what normal felt like."
He shifted slightly in the chair.
"Not long after that, she told me an ex boyfriend of hers had been threatenin' her."
Emily looked down immediately.
"Said he was harassin' her. Showin' up places." Chase glanced briefly toward the jury. "And I had seen a guy around her before." His expression hardened slightly. "He was aggressive with her."
"So," he continued, "I offered to help when she asked if I'd pretend to be her boyfriend for a while."
The attorney frowned slightly. "Pretend?"
"Yes." Chase nodded once. "Just until the guy backed off."
He rubbed his palms together absently. "And honestly? It didn't seem like a big deal. We were friends and I liked taking care of her."
A humorless breath left him. "I thought I was helpin' somebody who had helped me."
Across the room, Parker shifted in his seat.
Jaw tight. Watching. Listening.
"That's actually when the first inquiry happened at the hospital," Chase continued. "People started askin' questions."
He glanced briefly toward Emily. "She told me she handled it." A pause. "Said she explained to somebody higher up that we weren't actually together... that we were just pretending."
The attorney nodded slowly. "And after that?"
Chase's expression darkened slightly. "About two months into pretendin'..."
He hesitated. "She started askin' again. She wanted us to become real."
Another pause. "And I told her..." His throat tightened slightly. "I just wanted to stay friends."
Silence. Heavy silence followed.
"One night," Chase continued carefully, "we went out for her birthday."
His gaze flickered toward Aria again.
Still there. Still listening. Still steady.
God, he loved her and he was going to need her strength more than ever to say this part.
"We went to dinner," he said quietly. "Fancy place."
A pause. "She paid for everything, then when we got back to my apartment..."
His jaw flexed. "I went to the bathroom."
The room seemed to grow quieter. "When I came back out..."
He swallowed hard. "She had drinks poured." A pause. "I told her I didn't really wanna drink."
His fingers tightened together.
"I wasn't even really supposed to be drinkin' because of medications and recovery stuff."
Another pause. "But she said it was her birthday." His voice lowered. "Special occasion. So one drink wouldn't kill me."
The shame hit visibly now.
Written all over him.
"So..." He looked down. "I drank it."
Silence.
And when he looked up again, his eyes found Aria first.
Like he needed permission to keep going.
Like he needed reassurance she still saw him the same way.
"The next thing I remember..." His voice cracked slightly. "...I woke up."
The room stilled completely, Aria was tense, visibly shaking from anger.
"She was next to me and we were both naked."
Nobody moved. Nobody breathed the room was silent.
"I didn't remember the night." His jaw tightened harder now. "And when she told me we'd had sex... that I had gotten carried away..." His voice dropped. "I didn't really know how to question it and I was ashamed."
Because God. How could he have?
"I already couldn't remember half my damn life."
The pain in his voice sat heavy.
"It didn't feel impossible to me that maybe my brain could forget somethin' else too under the effect of alcohol."
He swallowed hard. "But even then..." A pause. "Somethin' didn't sit right."
Across the room, Emily had gone pale. Completely still.
Chase exhaled shakily.
"And now?" His jaw flexed. "Now that I remember more..." A long pause.
"I think somethin' happened that night I... I think something was in my drink. I can't prove that of course."
Truth as he experienced it.
"I think I trusted somebody when I probably shouldn't have."
Silence stretched so tightly it almost hurt.
"We ended up datin' after that, I was too ashamed to tell her no," he continued quietly. "Then she told me she was pregnant."
His expression shifted again. "She said her family wanted her to end the pregnancy if we didn't get married." He looked down. "And I felt responsible." A humorless laugh left him. "Guess that's kinda my problem." The room stayed silent. "I take care of people."
A pause.
"So..." He swallowed. "I proposed and married her." His voice softened. "She miscarried not long after or so she said I never actually saw proof."
Something complicated moved across his face.
Sadness. Guilt. Grief.
"But after we moved in together..." He hesitated again.
Something about this clearly embarrassed him.
"We weren't really..." His jaw tightened. "A married couple."
The attorney frowned slightly. "What do you mean?"
Chase shifted uncomfortably.
Then said quietly... "I mean there wasn't really a romantic relationship." A pause.
"Not physically." His eyes dropped briefly. "And eventually I realized..."
He hesitated. "Emily didn't really want me like that either."
Across the room, Emily finally closed her eyes.
Like she knew where this was headed.
"She needed somebody to stay." His voice softened. "Needed somebody to reassure her."
A pause. "She struggled." He glanced toward the judge briefly. "Mental health was her weak point, she had anxiety, depression, body dysmorphia, and she was a cutter."
He stopped himself there... not exposing everything. Not humiliating her. Still protecting her.
"I realized pretty quick she was in a bad place," he said quietly. "And I got worried."
A pause. "Really worried." His eyes flickered toward Parker briefly, then he was back looking at Aria again. "So I stayed. I stayed because I thought if I didn't..." His throat tightened. "...somethin' bad might happen."
Silence.
Real silence.
"And somewhere in all that..." He looked down at his hands.
"I started convincing myself maybe what I felt was love, because who stays with someone that lied to them, manipulated them unless they loved them?
Who cares about someone even when you only feel the need to take care of them. .. unless it's love."
A beat. "But it wasn't." He looked up then, eyes straight ahead.
"I cared about her." A pause. "I wanted to protect her." Another.
"But I never actually loved her." His eyes shifted instinctively toward Aria again.
Across the room, Emily looked down immediately, tears slipping silently now. She did not argue. Did not defend herself. Did not interrupt.
Like maybe some part of her had already known he was going to tell the ugly truth.
The attorney stayed quiet for a moment as though he too were not sure how to proceed from that reveal.
Finally carefully, he spoke.
"Mr. Hale," he asked, voice gentler now, "if it was not love..." A pause. "What was it?"
The question sat strangely in Chase's chest.
Because honestly? That had taken him a while to understand too. His hands rubbed slowly against each other once, nervous energy he barely noticed anymore. And without thinking his eyes drifted toward Aria again.
Still there. Still listening.
Still somehow looking at him with softness instead of judgment.
He loved her. He hoped she knew that. Really knew that.
He exhaled slowly.
"There's somethin' y'all need to understand first."
The room quieted again.
"Not long ago," he continued, "I got a memory back." His voice lowered slightly.
"One particular memory returned triggering all the others... one very important memory I didn't even realize was missin'."
He glanced briefly toward Parker.
Just long enough and immediately, Parker went rigid in his chair.
Parker already knew where this was going.
"My friend Parker..." Chase paused. Then corrected quietly: "My brother, really."
Parker looked down briefly at the floor. Jaw tightening.
"He lost somebody while we were overseas."
The room remained still. "Her name was Demi."
The second he said her name, Parker visibly shifted.
Like grief itself had set up residence inside him.
"She was a Tier one operator," Chase continued. "Worked with us."
A pause. "She was tough."
And despite everything, the faintest smile touched his mouth.
"Mouthy too."
That almost got the smallest reaction from Parker.
"She was the kind of person that made hard days easier for all of us."
His voice softened. "Everybody loved her." Another pause.
"I loved her too." He said it carefully. "Like family. She was like a little sister."
Taking a deep breath he swiped away a tear as he continued.
"Before I got captured..." Chase continued, jaw tightening slightly, "there was an attack."
His throat moved hard. "And I watched her die."
The room went still.
Even Emily looked up. Surprised.
"I didn't remember her for years," Chase said quietly. "Not consciously... I think she was a huge factor in my memories being gone for so long... like I was protecting myself from the truth."
His fingers folded together tighter. "But trauma don't really disappear. It just waits."
His eyes drifted briefly toward Emily. Then away. "And when I finally remembered Demi... when it all came back."
How did he explain this without sounding insane?
He exhaled slowly. "I realized somethin'." Silence stretched. "Emily reminded me of her."
Across the room, Emily froze. Completely.
The attorney frowned faintly. "In what way?"
"The blonde hair," Chase said quietly. "The green eyes." A pause. "The way they carried themselves sometimes."
He shook his head slightly.
His voice lowered.
"I didn't understand it at the time," he admitted. "Hell, I didn't even know what my own brain was doin'."
A humorless breath escaped him. "But after all my memories came back..."
His jaw tightened. "I realized I wasn't protectin' Emily from herself because I loved her."
The room had gone painfully quiet again. "I was protectin' her because some broken part of me thought..." His throat tightened. "...that if I just did things right this time... if I stayed with her, took care of her, gave her the attention she wanted..."
His voice cracked unexpectedly. "...maybe I could finally save somebody I didn't save before."
The silence afterward hurt.
Real silence.
Heavy silence.
Across the room, Parker abruptly leaned forward in his chair, elbows against his knees, one hand dragging hard across his mouth while he stared down at the floor. Like suddenly breathing had become harder. Like grief had walked back into the room and sat beside him.
He knew exactly what Chase meant. Knew exactly what guilt Chase had been carrying without understanding.
Chase looked down briefly.
Then quietly added...
"I think some part of me stayed with Emily because leavin' felt like failin' Demi again. I think my need to take care of Emily was some misguided need to not fail twice... but it was not love and I won't have it called that."
Near the back of the room, Parker quietly cleared his throat.
Too hard. Too sudden.
The kind of sound a man made when he was trying very, very hard not to fall apart in public.
Finally, Emily's attorney cleared his throat softly.
"Your Honor," he began carefully, "while we appreciate Mr. Hale's honesty, I do feel compelled to point out that much of this testimony relies on retrospective emotional interpretation."
A pause. "Specifically regarding psychological motivations, alleged resemblance, and assumptions surrounding intent."
The room shifted slightly. Not in agreement.
Because legally? He was not wrong.
The judge removed her glasses slowly. She was the kind of woman who had probably heard every version of complicated human suffering imaginable.
"Mr. Hale," she said carefully, "I want to acknowledge that your testimony appears sincere."
Chase nodded once.
"But," she continued gently, "a portion of what you have discussed ventures into territory this court cannot fully verify."
Her eyes moved briefly toward the attorneys.
"Specifically emotional interpretation, subconscious motivation, alleged psychological attachment, and speculative reasoning."
A pause.
"The court cannot establish as factual that your emotional connection to Ms. Reynolds stemmed from unresolved grief related to another individual. Nor can we rely on your thoughts surrounding Ms. Reynolds actions."
Across the room, Parker shifted again.
Like hearing Demi reduced to legal language physically hurt.
The judge's tone softened slightly.
"That does not mean your experience is being dismissed. We will subpoena Ms. Reynolds medical records to verify your claims of mental instability... we will also require a physical be administered to her to verify the cutting you referred to."
She folded her hands carefully.
"I will add that portions of this testimony must be considered hearsay or subjective interpretation rather than verifiable evidence."
A pause.
"Certain statements may be stricken from formal record."
The room stayed quiet.
Then, her expression softened just slightly.
"However... this court would be irresponsible not to recognize context."
Her eyes moved briefly toward Emily. Then Chase. Then Aria.
"Trauma matters." she paused. "Memory impairment matters and dependency, grief, psychological vulnerability, emotional confusion... those things matter."
Chase sat still, listening.
The judge continued calmly.
"While portions of your testimony cannot serve as legally provable fact..."
A pause.
"They will absolutely be taken into consideration when evaluating emotional damages, informed consent, coercive influence, vulnerability, and relational imbalance."
Across the room, Emily visibly lowered her head her shoulders curling inward slightly.
The judge looked back toward Chase.
"Mr. Hale, this court is less concerned with whether every emotional interpretation can be scientifically proven..."
Her voice stayed even.
"And more concerned with whether a vulnerable individual possessed the emotional and cognitive capacity to meaningfully navigate the circumstances surrounding these decisions."
A pause.
"And whether the people entrusted with protecting that individual upheld appropriate responsibility."
This was not really about proving every ugly detail. It was about the bigger truth. He had not been okay and people should have protected him better.
The judge glanced toward Emily's attorney.
"You may continue."
The attorney stood slowly. "No further questions at this time your honor."
The room stayed quiet for half a second.
Then, Chase and Aria's attorney stood.
Like a man who had been waiting very patiently for his turn.
"Your Honor," he said calmly, adjusting the papers in front of him, "the plaintiff would like to redirect."
The judge nodded once. "Proceed."
Chase exhaled quietly through his nose.
Great. More questions.
He shifted slightly in the chair, fingers rubbing once against his jeans beneath the table. His nerves had started settling somewhere between exhaustion and numbness, but now they climbed back up again.
Because somehow, talking about all of that had felt worse than captivity.
At least captivity had not come with witnesses.
Or Aria watching.
His eyes drifted toward her again before he could stop himself.
The attorney approached carefully.
"Mr. Hale," he began evenly, "I'd like to clarify something."
Chase nodded once.
"You testified that during the years you were with Ms. Reynolds, you believed yourself to be emotionally responsible for her wellbeing."
"Yes."
The attorney folded his hands loosely. "And that responsibility influenced your decision to stay."
"Yes."
"Even after things,stopped,feeling right?"
Chase hesitated, then nodded again. "Yeah, because she struggled."
His voice came quieter now. "And honestly..." He swallowed hard. "I was scared somethin' bad would happen if I left."
The attorney nodded slowly. "Bad how?"
Chase shifted uncomfortably, because somehow, this question felt invasive.
He still answered honestly. "She'd spiral. She would often get really upset and she would talk about hurtin' herself."
The room shifted again.
Across the room, Emily lowered her head.
Her attorney immediately straightened slightly. "Objection," he said calmly. "Hearsay."
The judge nodded. "Sustained."
She looked toward Chase carefully.
"Mr. Hale, I understand this testimony reflects your lived experience. However, statements regarding another individual's mental health, internal motivations, or alleged threats absent supporting documentation fall into territory this court cannot fully verify."
Chase nodded once immediately. "Yes ma'am."
Because honestly that was fair.
The judge's tone softened slightly.
"That said..." She paused. "The court recognizes that perceived emotional responsibility can meaningfully affect rational decision making, particularly in vulnerable individuals."
A pause.
"Mr. Hale is permitted to testify to how he experienced those circumstances."
She looked briefly toward the jury.
"But speculative conclusions and unverifiable claims will not be treated as established fact."
Emily's attorney sat back again. Satisfied enough.
The redirect continued.
"Mr. Hale," the attorney said carefully, "regardless of what can or cannot be formally established..." He paused, as he glared towards the opposing attorney. "Do you believe your emotional condition at the time affected your ability to make clear relationship decisions?"
Chase almost laughed, not because it was funny but because the answer felt painfully obvious.
"Yes." The word came easy. "I was confused all the time." His jaw tightened slightly."I didn't know who I was. I didn't trust my own memories." His voice lowered. "Hell, I barely trusted my own instincts."
He looked down briefly. "And when you're already broken... you start lettin' people tell you who you are." The room stayed painfully quiet. "You hold onto people who seem safe."
A pause. "Even if later..." His throat moved hard. "...you realize things weren't healthy."
Across the room, Emily finally looked up again. Eyes red now from crying.
The attorney nodded once. "Last question."
He paused. Then carefully he asked, "Knowing what you know now..."
His gaze shifted briefly toward Emily and then back to Chase.
"Do you believe you were emotionally capable of consenting to the relationship as it developed?"
God, that question was a heavy and complicated one, because somewhere inside himself there was still shame, still guilt, and embarrassment. Because admitting no somehow felt weak.
His eyes found Aria again.
He still worried she might look disappointed. Might look at him differently. Might think less of him. But all he found there... was heartbreak and love.
Her expression softened immediately when she caught him looking.
The smallest nod again.
I'm here.
Tell the truth.
So, He did. "No." The room went still. Chase swallowed hard. "No," he repeated quieter. "I don't think I was. I think, I was too easily taken advantage of by someone who manipulated me into a relationship and used guilt and my misunderstanding of self against me."
"And honestly?" His jaw flexed. "I think I trusted her to protect me because I trusted a medical professional to care about me as is their job... but then I thought later that she cared for me... loved me as she claimed to... now with a clear set of eyes, I see she just used me."
The judge smiled at him... then announced a recess.
Author's Note
Y'all, I'm going to be honest, this chapter was hard for me to write.
I struggled with this one all day long, and I'm still not sure I translated what was in my head onto the page the way I wanted to.
A lot of this chapter was voice memoed in the car while life was life'ing, and trying to turn complicated emotions and realizations into conversation ended up being much harder than I expected.
I want to explain what this chapter was meant to show, because I worry some of it may not have come across clearly.
The shift in this chapter is important because Chase is no longer Will, the version of himself weighed down by guilt and loyalty.
He's Chase now. And Chase is angry. Angry enough to admit that what happened to him may have been a rape.
Angry enough to finally say out loud that what was done to him was manipulation, and that actions have consequences.