Chapter 14
It’s tomorrow when I wake.
No word from Jupiter, which doesn’t surprise me.
This is her way of making sure I’m aware she’s in control.
But she’s wrong.
The plan is to still entrap her. Whether that be by tipping off the police, or being an informant, or even wearing a fucking wire, I don’t care. I just need this to be done.
Until she reveals what her grand plan is, though, I’m at her mercy.
I didn’t give much thought to coming here. I was hoping things would be over sooner rather than later and that I could deal with the aftermath then. But the waiting is almost as bad as the unknown.
I have no desire to see my aunt and uncle. And I can’t exactly roam around town in fear I see someone I know. I believe I’ve changed enough that most wouldn’t look twice if they saw me, but I can’t risk it.
Legs and Jack could still be here.
The thought infuriates me. They’ve been able to live a normal life, knowing what they did to me. But that will soon change.
Kit hasn’t sent any more texts.
It appears he got the hint.
All in all, coming back here fucking sucks.
Sure, I can finally take back what was stolen from me, but is it worth it? What do I gain from revenge? I once believed it would fix everything, but now, I realize I’ll never truly be “better.”
I was better with Kit.
I never felt more myself.
I felt free.
Coming back here feels like taking two steps back. But to be with Kit, I need Jupiter out of our lives. I never thought my savior would turn into my tormentor.
I guess she’s my karma for all that I’ve done.
I have just over a thousand dollars in my savings. If Jupiter doesn’t appear soon, then I’ll have to think of ways to get money. I could get a job, but again, it’s too risky. A horrible thought occurs.
My aunt and uncle keep a spare key in the pot plant near the front door. My aunt hides their cash in a sugar jar in the pantry. If worse comes to worst…
I truly hope it doesn’t.
I have no place to be.
But I can’t just sit here, rotting away. I’m giving myself cabin fever.
After showering, I put on denim shorts and a tank with a hood. I slip it on with a pair of large black sunglasses and decide to take a walk.
With no real direction in mind, I take my time. But when I pass a gas station, I buy a cheap pair of earbuds. The music helps with the boredom on my walk to nowhere. It’s better than sitting around in the motel, so I try to focus on the positives.
But with each step, it feels as if those positives are tackled by the harsh reality of what my life has become. I’m waiting for my serial killer ex-best friend to send me details on the two people who destroyed my life, only for me to destroy theirs in return.
I’ve hurt Dandy—again. And I’ve left Kit with no explanation.
I thought I was on my way to becoming a better person, but I’m not.
My steps are heavy, and suddenly, it’s dark. I know this is my imagination.
“No,” I whisper, trying to override the inevitable.
I stagger off the road. It’s becoming harder to see until all that’s left…is black.
“NO!” I scream, jolting upright, unsure of where the hell I am.
I see trees.
Lots of green.
And I see Dandy.
I rub my eyes, certain I’m seeing things. But when he’s still sitting before me, I realize he’s really here.
“What the fuck happened?” he asks, cheeks billowing as he blows out a deep breath.
“I-I don’t remember,” I confess, brushing the hair from my face. “I was walking and then…”
“And then you were possessed by the devil?” Dandy suggests when I’m at a loss for words.
Hardly an appropriate time to laugh, but that’s my response. “I have blackouts,” I reveal when I’m composed enough to stop behaving like a lunatic. “I don’t really remember anything until I wake up.”
“Since when? You never had them when we were kids.”
“A lot has changed since then.”
“Clearly,” Dandy says, hand over his chest. “You scared me.”
“How’d you find me?” I ask, though I’m grateful he did.
“I followed you,” he confesses. “Last night when you left, I followed you back to that shithole motel. You didn’t even realize. You looked…out of it. Like someone other than you.”
That explains why I felt as though I was being followed. This time, however, I actually was.
“I’m not the person you remember, Dandy. That’s why I left.”
Dandy mulls over my comment. “You know, I would think that was an excuse if I didn’t witness what I just did.”
“What happened?” I ask because I never thought to ask Jupiter what she saw.
“What happened was what I can only explain as you being you one minute and then someone else the next. You were walking one way, and then suddenly, you ran into the woods like your life depended on it.”
“I did?” I certainly don’t remember running. I figured that when I blacked out, I passed out like a dead weight, incapable of moving. So running? That’s news to me.
“Yes, although ‘running’ is probably too kind a word. Picture a zombie in a frenzied chase for brains.” Dandy sticks his tongue out to the side and stretches his arms ahead, doing his best impression of the undead.
This isn’t funny by any means, but again, I burst into laughter.
“Is that why you left? You’re actually a zombie?” Dandy quips, arching a suspicious brow.
“You’re safe then,” I reply, “especially if they only eat brains.”
Dandy clutches his side in mock laughter.
This is the most absurd thing to be laughing over, but this is classic Dandy and me.
Silence overcomes us once the laughter subsides.
I look around and recall that these woods are similar to the ones where I was hunted and raped. I don’t know where I am, so they may be the same one. The thought of returning to the place where my life changed has something shifting inside me.
Perhaps that’s why I ran into here?
But I’m sick of running.
I’m sick of hiding who I am.
“I’m sorry for what I said last night,” Dandy says with regret. “The whole going back to whatever hole you crawled out of comment. I didn’t mean it.”
“I deserved it. What I did was a really shitty thing.”
“Which time?” Dandy asks, only half playing.
“I’m sorry, Dandy. I don’t deserve your kindness, yet you’re saving me again, just like when you found me in the girls’ bathroom.”
“God, that feels like a lifetime ago.”
“It was,” I reply sadly.
With a hesitant touch, Dandy places his hand over the back of mine. “What happened, Hallie? Please tell me. Was it me? Did I do something wrong?”
I can’t do this anymore.
I can’t live with myself knowing Dandy might blame himself for something that isn’t his fault. I came here for a reason, and maybe part of that reason is to lessen Dandy’s pain. Perhaps it will help with his own demons.
The truth sets one free…
“That night, the night I left work, I was chased down and hunted by three men. They followed me into the woods where they blinded me, subdued me, and raped me,” I confess in nothing short of a whisper, unable to face Dandy as I keep my eyes focused on rocks in the dirt.
“I escaped before the last man could do to me what his friends had. I ran and ran because nothing else mattered but getting away. I found their car, but when they found me, I killed one of them by running him over.”
It feels as though the entire woods is listening because a stillness lingers. I need to get it all out before I lose my poise.
“I didn’t stop driving. It would mean I’d have to face what I’d done.
And what was done to me. I started a new life.
But I never forgot about the one I lived with you.
But I couldn’t drag you down with me, Dandy.
No one should have to deal with something so horrible.
I wanted you to remember who I was. Not who I became.
“It never had anything to do with you. You were the only reason I ever wanted to come back. But I couldn’t.”
I take a much-needed breath.
Dandy is quiet.
I’m afraid to look at him.
His hand, which is still wrapped around mine, gently squeezes tighter, giving me the strength to face him, and when I do, I see that the truth does set one free.
Tears stream down his cheeks. “Oh, Hallie, I didn’t know.”
“Of course you didn’t. How could you?” I reply, his familiar touch a comfort I didn’t realize how much I missed until now. “There’s more.”
He gulps, sniffing back his tears.
It must feel nice to cry. I wouldn’t know. I’ve forgotten what it feels like. It’s as though my body refuses to show weakness after what it’s endured.
“I met a girl. Jupiter. She helped me. Well, I thought she did. She had skeletons in the closet too. But who doesn’t? However, her skeletons began to pile up. Have you heard of the XY Killer?”
Dandy nods quickly, eyes wide.
“Well, it’s Jupiter. She’s the one murdering all those men. She experienced something similar to what I did. Her way of dealing with it was killing men, each one representing the men who stole from her. And I helped her.”
“What?” Dandy exclaims, eyes wide.
He wanted the truth, so here it is.
“Yes. Although I didn’t kill them, I lured them like prey for her. She killed them, and I helped clean up the mess. But I’m just as guilty. I watched, and I liked it. I liked it because it felt as though I was taking the power back.
“The power that was stolen from me that night in the woods. It felt like tiny fragments of myself were being healed by ending the lives of men who were despicable human beings. Jupiter had a code. She only killed bad men. These men had done horrible things to women, to children. I know it doesn’t make it acceptable, but these men would continue hurting others.
“We just did to them what they’d done to others.”
Dandy wears a blank expression. Is he in shock? “Why are you back? Why now?”
I breathe out slowly. “Jupiter knows the identities of the men who assaulted me. I’ve…I’ve killed one already.”
Dandy gasps, placing a hand over his mouth. I see that he has a planet tattooed on his wrist. I love that he never let go of his true self this entire time. But me, I don’t even know who I am.
“Now, I need to hunt down the other two.”
“Two?” Dandy asks, doing the math.
I’ve killed two out of the three.