Chapter 17 #4
“Oh my God,” I whisper under my breath.
I see blood on my hands, hands that killed those men for revenge for what they did to me.
To their victims.
I was tired of being silenced.
I was their voice.
I was my own.
Finally, I look into the mirror, and beside me, I turn to see Jupiter, but she’s not there. The only person staring back at me is…me.
I see myself scouring the internet, familiarizing myself with how to fight and kill and get away with murder. On how to be an internet sleuth. Everything that Jupiter was good at were things I learned to become her.
She was my opposite.
I created her to look different to me to trick myself into believing she was real.
This entire time…I’ve been Jupiter.
Vomit rises when the latest memory crashes into me, so vivid it plays out in my head like a movie.
I remember stalking Rebecca’s socials.
She had posted that she was on campus late, preparing for the pep rally. Something inside me exploded.
We had a plan, but I wasn’t okay with Rebecca not suffering the way she had brutally done to me.
Kit was handling things with Jack, so I snuck out and went to her college. Social media is both a blessing and a curse. She documented every movement, giving me live updates on her location.
It was easy.
When she saw me, she knew it was over. “You’re supposed to be dead.”
“Surprise…bitch.”
She didn’t stand a chance.
For years, I carried anger that I didn’t want to hold on to—anger she had instilled in me. So it seemed fitting to give it back to her.
She put up a fight.
But I was stronger.
“Please, I’m sorry,” she sobbed, mascara running down her face.
I took great pleasure in seeing her a mess.
Pinning her down, I sat on her chest with a knife pressed to her throat. “It’s too late to apologize.”
A giggle spilled from me when the song with those lyrics played over in my mind.
Rebecca’s eyes were wide in fear.
“You think you’re better than Hallie.”
“You are Hallie!” she screamed, but her words never sank in. “Let me go, and I’ll get you the help you need. I’m sorry. I was a dumb kid and made a mistake. Let me fix it.”
“Oh my God, really?” I gushed, wishing to give her false hope.
“Yes, yes, just let me go, and we’ll do this together. I’m sorry. Forgive me, Hallie Holiday.”
Tipping my face to the heavens, I inhaled because I was finally the one in charge. I took back what Rebecca stole.
Her last words were my name, which will forever be on her tongue as I stabbed her in the jugular before cutting off her head.
I positioned her body, wishing to ridicule her in death as she had done to me in life.
I was reborn…
Bile rises, but I can’t purge this sickness within. It’s a part of me now. However, I open my eyes slowly, and something happens that hasn’t happened in a long time.
A tear slides down my cheek.
I now understand why people find solace in tears.
“I killed Rebecca,” I whisper, my lower lip quivering.
Kit nods sadly.
“I killed people. Lots of them.”
“Bad people. People who deserved it.”
“That doesn’t make it right.”
“No, of course not, but a lot of people are alive because of you.”
“And people are dead because of me. I deserve to be punished for what I’ve done.”
“Don’t say that. You’re everything. Those girls get their day in court because of you.”
“I’m a monster!”
Kit shakes his head. “Hallie, Jupiter wasn’t a monster…she was your guardian. Jupiter learned how to survive in a world that hurt her. Hallie is the girl who endures, while Jupiter is the girl who protects.”
Is that true?
Am I not evil, then?
Was I only trying to survive?
I feel empty inside. “Without Jupiter, I’m nothing. Just a scared little girl who has a make-believe friend.”
“She was real to you. She was your friend, the person who protected you when I couldn’t. But I won’t let that happen. I meant it when I said I’ll always protect you.”
I have so many questions, but I can’t process a rational thought.
Jupiter is fading.
Like a smudge in time.
“Don’t leave me,” I say to her, tears falling.
She soon disappears. But I can still feel her…in my heart.
This time, I don’t feel weak to cry. Maybe I am human after all.
Kit draws me into his arms. “I love you. Always remember that.”
With tears staining his white shirt, I cling to him tight. “I love you too.”
It’s the first and last time I’ll ever tell anyone I love them because when three men in white appear, the end is here…it’s just not the ending I expected.
I am fucking crazy.
“They’re here to help,” Kit explains, still holding me tightly, before placing a final kiss on my cheek.
The men smile, attempting to appear friendly. But they’re here to take me away, take me away to an institution for people like me.
I am defeated.
I don’t fight as they escort me toward the awaiting van.
“I promise, we’re in this together,” Kit says as they put me into the van. He places his hand on the glass. “You do this, and there will be no more demons to slay. I love you. Always.”
And I love him too.
As the van pulls away, I lower my head, defeated because Kit is mistaken…the greatest demon here is me.